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  • For most of human history, what we did for a living was decided for us by our families.

    在人類歷史中,我們所從事的職業大多數都是由家族為我們決定

  • We would either directly copy what our parents did, or else we would reverentially accept

    我們可能直接複製父母的職業,或是虔誠地接受

  • their suggestions for what we might do. Only for around the last 200 years have we been

    他們的建議。近 200 年左右,我們才開始

  • choosing jobs for ourselvesand we're still at the beginning of learning some of the

    為自己選擇職業 – 我們仍在學習這些複雜事

  • complexities of doing so. On the surface, most families claim to have no interest in their

    的起始點。表面上,多數家庭聲稱對孩子做任何職業

  • children doing any job in particular. The standard line is that they simply want us

    沒有特別的興趣。標準就是他們只要我們

  • to be happy. But we are not as free as this sounds. We are always hemmed in by what can

    開心就好。但我們並不像聽起來這麼自由。我們總會被所謂的

  • be termed "family work scripts", that is, scripts that guide usoften very subtly but also

    「家族工作劇本」限制住,也就是引導我們 – 通常是非常隱約但同時

  • very heavilytowards certain occupations and away from others. Part of properly growing

    非常沉重的 – 傾向特定職業而遠離其他職業的劇本。好好長大有一部分是

  • upwhich may sometimes happen only in one's 50s – involves learning to find

    – 有時在 50 幾歲時才發生 – 包括了學習找到

  • a way around the scripts we've been handed. At the most benign level, our family work

    我們被交付的劇本所指引的道路。在最良性的程度,我們的家族工作

  • scripts are the result of what our families understand of the working world. Every family

    劇本是家人們對職業世界理解的結果。每個家庭

  • has a range of occupations that it grasps, because someone has practiced them and in

    都有一個可以理解的職業範圍,因為有人從事過並且

  • the process brought them within the imaginative range of other family members. Yet it isn't

    將它們帶入其他家庭成員的想像範圍中。然而並不只是

  • just a case that our families might not know about certain jobs and so might cut us off from

    我們的家人可能不知道特定的工作因此阻絕我們從事它們

  • them. They might also be positively hostile or suspicious of other jobs. We're liable

    他們也可能對其他職業懷有敵意或懷疑。我們很容易

  • to received many little messages indicating that certain careers are inferiorand

    接收到許多小消息指出特定職業是次等的 –

  • therefore beneath us, dangerous, phoney or not quite right for our sort of station in

    也就是比我們低下、危險、虛假或是與我們的身分地位不太符合

  • life. Whatever lip service might be paid to gender equality, families are also highly

    隨口說到性別平等,家人也非常擅長於

  • talented at sending out covert messages about what a "real" man or a "real" woman

    傳遞隱約的訊息暗示一個「真正的」男人或一個「真正的」女人

  • should honourably do. Yet more darkly, families may say that they want us to succeed, but

    應當做什麼。但更黑暗的是,家人可能會說希望我們成功,但

  • would be highly threatened if we actually did so. A choice we make might remind someone of one

    如果我們真的這麼做卻會威脅到他們。我們所做的一個決定可能會使某人回想起他們

  • of their failed ambitions. Our success might make them feel like a failure. We might try

    某次失敗的野心。我們的成功可能讓他們覺得自己很失敗。我們可能會試著

  • to sabotage our chances of winning so as not to leave a loved one feeling crushed. Often

    破壞我們贏的機會以免讓所愛的人感到崩潰

  • without realising it, we are being heavily controlled by our families. Controlled not

    我們經常在沒有發覺的情況下,被家人嚴重控制。

  • by harsh words but by something far more poignant and yet far harder to extricate ourselves

    並不是被苛刻的語言控制,而是被某種更深刻而更難解脫的東西:

  • from: by our ongoing desire to be a good child, to please those who brought us into this world,

    被我們想要當好孩子的渴望、為了取悅將我們帶到這世上的人、

  • by love. Love can control us as much as force or the law ever could. We are liable to try

    被愛控制。愛的控制力可以如同武力或法律一樣強。我們想要

  • to be good children not just because we feel love but because we fear losing love, because

    成為乖小孩不只是因為我們感到愛,還因為害怕失去愛

  • we live in dread of being cast out if we were to dare to say what we want. But here is

    因為我們生活在若膽敢說出想要什麼,就會被驅逐的恐懼之中。

  • the good news for the timid good children. Parents very, very rarely disown their progeny. It certainly

    但對羞怯的乖小孩有個好消息。父母親非常非常少會斷絕和孩子的關係

  • seems they might in our imaginations forged in childhood. But the adult reality is that

    在我們童年鑄成的想像當中,他們肯定看起來會這麼做。但大人的事實是

  • families are extremely good at threatening to break apart, but then also forgiving one another,

    家人們非常擅長於威脅要分裂,但接著又會原諒彼此

  • and accommodating the most extraordinary challenges and tests. We don't know your families, but

    並接納最特別的挑戰和測試。我們不認識你的家人,但

  • we can guess that you could do a lot more than you think, a lot more that

    猜得到你可以做得遠比你以為的更多,多到

  • might be a bit "bad" in their eyes, and still be forgiven. We owe our

    可能對他們來說有一點「壞」,但仍然會被原諒

  • parents respect and kindness. We do not owe them our lives. We should dare, when the pressure

    我們虧欠父母的是尊敬與體貼,但不是我們的生命。我們應該敢於,當壓力大到

  • has become unbearable, to leave their scripts aside.

    無法承受時,拋開他們的劇本

  • At the School of Life we are constantly developing new products to help us develop emotional intelligence.

    在人生學校,我們持續在開發幫助發展情緒智力的新產品

  • To learn more, follow the link on your screen now.

    想知道更多,現在就追蹤螢幕上的連結

For most of human history, what we did for a living was decided for us by our families.

在人類歷史中,我們所從事的職業大多數都是由家族為我們決定

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 職業 劇本 家人 家族 父母 家庭

父母是如何阻礙職業規劃的? (How Parents Get In The Way of Career Plans)

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    Evangeline 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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