Too loud noise bro. Why so loud?

你是什麼鬼?

What the hell are you?

我看起來像什麼?

What do I look like to you?

我不知道

I don't know.

看看這雙鞋子?

Look at the shoes?

看看耳朵?

Look at the ears.

我不知道一個...妖精?

I don't know an... an elf?

對，天才，一個妖精

Yes genius an elf.

這裡的妖精都怎麼了?

What's wrong with the elves around here, man?

妖精們不是應該要開心和歡樂嗎?

Aren't elves supposed to be like happy and jolly?

歡樂?

Jolly.

什麼?

What?

你知道我每天工作幾小時嗎?

Do you know how many hours I work a day?

不

Nope.

28!

28!

那不...那並不合理

That doesn't... that doesn't make any sense

正確。

Exactly.

我不明白

I don't understand.

猜猜他們付了多少錢給我?

Guess how much they pay me.

不，我不知道你拿多少錢

No, I don't know how much you're paid.

什麼都沒有，老兄。

Nothing, bro

他們付我拐杖糖。

They pay me in candy canes

八根拐杖糖，然後呢?

Eight candy canes and how?

聽著老兄，沒那麼糟糕，你穿著有趣、舒適的服裝整天...

Look man, I can't be that bad you get to wear like a fun comfortable

我不能感覺到我的蛋蛋。感受他，老兄

costume all day...

不，老兄，不要!

I can't feel my balls in the soup. Feeling bro.

噢，我的天啊

No, bro. No!

我四年沒有洗這個爛東西了

Oh my god.

好的 好，這是個人選擇。我只是-

I haven't washed this shit in 4 years

你知道聖誕老人多麼的小氣?

Alright. Okay, that's a personal choice. I'm just-

老兄，至少你女友沒有因為雞毛蒜皮般的小事而離開你...

You know how cheap Santa is?

不，至少你有女朋友

Bro, at least your girl didn't just leave you for some...

對-

No, you had a girl

我最近一次做愛是和那個馴鹿一起。

Yeah-

兄弟，至少沒有人偷你的手機-

Last time I made love was with that reindeer over there.

你覺得這個手機是誰製造的? 誰?

Bro, at least some guy didn't steal your phone out of nowhere

我不知道，某個在中國的人?

What do you think made that phone? Who?

對，也許吧

I don't know. Someone in China?

我的意思是他們把事情做完了

Yeah, that's probably true

好吧，或許你是對的

Probably, I mean they make everything right

說起來容易，老兄

Okay... Okay, you're probably right about that

拜託，我得離開這裡

But they say an easy bro.

我只是...我要怎麼離開這裡?

Please man, I gotta get out of here.

你確定要離開嗎?

I just... How do I get out of here?

是的 拜託，我只是...我不想惹任何麻煩

Are you sure you want to leave?

鑰匙。

Yes, please. I just... I don't want any trouble.

什麼鑰匙?

The keys.

按鍵。(英文的按鍵與鑰匙相同)

What keys?

我應該怎麼做?彈鋼琴嗎?

*Sigh*

是啊...

The keys.

沒有?

Am I supposed to play the keys?

你不能彈些像Tupac或Biggie(饒舌嘻哈)的東西嗎?

Yeah.

我不知道Tupac或Biggie，這個如何?

No

你聽到了嗎?

Can't you play something good like some Tupac or Biggie or something like that?

是的，她在呼喚你

I don't know any Tupac or Biggie man. How's this?

但 但是你不一定要走，你可以在這裡多待會 知道嗎?

Did you hear that?

我要走了

Yeah, she's calling you.

冷靜，只是-

B-But you don't have to go.You could chill here you know?

聽著夥計，很高興見到你

I'm gonna go

啊!我今天交了一個新朋友

Just chill. Just-

好了，祝好運，兄弟

Look man. It's good to meet you.

好的

Ah! I made a new friend today really

祝你好運

All right good luck, bro

好的，離開我

Okay.

你好嗎?點擊這裡觀看Best.Cover.Ever的完整一集。不要忘記去Best.Cover.Ever的頻道訂閱。

Good luck.

Okay. Leave me

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