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  • So I would like to start by telling you about one of my greatest friends,

    譯者: Ming Lee 審譯者: Yanyan Hong

  • Okoloma Maduewesi.

    今天我想從我最好的朋友開始講起,

  • Okoloma lived on my street

    他名子是奧克拉荷馬.瑪督韋希。

  • and looked after me like a big brother.

    奧克拉荷馬住在我街上,

  • If I liked a boy, I would ask Okoloma's opinion.

    像位大哥那樣照顧我。

  • Okoloma died in the notorious Sosoliso plane crash

    如果我喜歡上一個男生, 我會徵詢奧克拉荷馬的意見。

  • in Nigeria in December of 2005.

    他死於奈及利亞惡名昭彰的 「索索利索航空公司」空難事件中,

  • Almost exactly seven years ago.

    時間是 2005 年 12 月。

  • Okoloma was a person I could argue with, laugh with and truly talk to.

    至今已經快七年了。

  • He was also the first person to call me a feminist.

    我跟他無所不談, 他是我真正可以談心的朋友。

  • I was about fourteen, we were at his house, arguing.

    也是第一個稱我為 「女權主義者」的人。

  • Both of us bristling with half bit knowledge

    那時我 14 歲, 在他的家為某些事在爭論。

  • from books that we had read.

    為了書中的事爭得面紅耳赤, 彼此都是一知半解。

  • I don't remember what this particular argument was about,

    我已忘了當時吵的是什麼,

  • but I remember that as I argued and argued,

    但是我記得在爭論過程中 他看著我說:

  • Okoloma looked at me and said, "You know, you're a feminist."

    「知道嗎?妳真的是個女權主義者!」

  • It was not a compliment.

    那不是誇獎。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I could tell from his tone,

    從他的語氣我就知道,

  • the same tone that you would use to say something like,

    大概類似於你們會用來說

  • "You're a supporter of terrorism."

    「妳是恐怖主義的支持者」那樣。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I did not know exactly what this word "feminist" meant,

    我當時不了解 「女權主義者」真正的意思,

  • and I did not want Okoloma to know that I did not know.

    更不想讓他知道我不懂那個字眼。

  • So I brushed it aside, and I continued to argue.

    所以我沒接他的話, 繼續爭論之前的話。

  • And the first thing I planned to do when I got home

    等我回家後做的第一件事,

  • was to look up the word "feminist" in the dictionary.

    就是查字典裡「女權主義者」的意思。

  • Now fast forward to some years later,

    現在讓我把時間往後快轉幾年,

  • I wrote a novel about a man who among other things beats his wife

    我寫了一本描述 一個男人毆打老婆的書,

  • and whose story doesn't end very well.

    主角最後的下場不是很好。

  • While I was promoting the novel in Nigeria,

    當我在奈及利亞為小說進行宣傳時,

  • a journalist, a nice, well-meaning man,

    有位好心善良的記者,

  • told me he wanted to advise me.

    告訴我他想給我一點建議。

  • And for the Nigerians here,

    我想在座的奈及利亞人

  • I'm sure we're all familiar

    一定都很了解那種不請自來

  • with how quick our people are to give unsolicited advice.

    熱於提供建議的人速度有多快;

  • He told me that people were saying that my novel was feminist

    他說人們覺得我的小說是女權主義。

  • and his advice to me --

    並且他建議我,

  • and he was shaking his head sadly as he spoke --

    搖著頭帶點悲傷的說,

  • was that I should never call myself a feminist

    我不應該再提及自己是個女權主義者,

  • because feminists are women who are unhappy

    因為女權主義者都是不開心的女人,

  • because they cannot find husbands.

    因為她們找不到丈夫。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So I decided to call myself "a happy feminist."

    所以我決定自稱為 「快樂的女權主義者」。

  • Then an academic, a Nigerian woman told me

    然後又有一位奈及利亞的 女性學者告訴我,

  • that feminism was not our culture

    女權主義不是我們的文化,

  • and that feminism wasn't African,

    女權主義也不是非洲的。

  • and that I was calling myself a feminist

    她說我自稱女權主義者的原因

  • because I had been corrupted by "Western books."

    是因為我被「西方的書」腐化了。

  • Which amused me,

    她說的話讓我啼笑皆非,

  • because a lot of my early readings were decidedly unfeminist.

    因為我以前讀的書 絕大多數與女權主義無關。

  • I think I must have read every single Mills & Boon romance published

    我在 16 歲以前幾乎已讀完

  • before I was sixteen.

    「米爾思·布恩出版社」的 每一本浪漫小說。

  • And each time I tried to read those books

    每當我閱讀那些關於 「女權主義寶典」書籍的時候,

  • called "the feminist classics,"

    我都會覺得很無聊,很難唸完。

  • I'd get bored, and I really struggled to finish them.

    但是不管怎樣, 既然女權主義不是非洲的,

  • But anyway, since feminism was un-African,

    所以現在我都自稱 是「快樂的非洲女權主義者」,

  • I decided that I would now call myself "a happy African feminist."

    過去某段日子我並不討厭男人, 我是快樂的非洲女權主義者,

  • At some point I was a happy African feminist who does not hate men

    也喜歡擦口紅,

  • and who likes lip gloss

    隨興為自己穿高跟鞋, 而不是穿給男人看。

  • and who wears high heels for herself but not for men.

    (笑聲)

  • (Laughter)

    當然上述許多都是玩笑話,

  • Of course a lot of this was tongue-in-cheek,

    但是「女權主義者」本身這個字眼 帶有很沉重、很負面的包袱。

  • but that word feminist is so heavy with baggage, negative baggage.

    好比是「妳討厭男人, 妳不喜歡穿胸罩,

  • You hate men, you hate bras,

    妳厭惡非洲文化」那些觀念。

  • you hate African culture, that sort of thing.

    我要講一個小時候的故事。

  • Now here's a story from my childhood.

    當我上小學的時候,

  • When I was in primary school,

    開學時我的老師說會有一個考試,

  • my teacher said at the beginning of term that she would give the class a test

    誰的分數最高誰就可以當班長。

  • and whoever got the highest score would be the class monitor.

    你也知道,當班長是件了不起的事。

  • Now, class monitor was a big deal.

    假如你是班長,

  • If you were a class monitor,

    你就可以把講話的名字登記下來。

  • you got to write down the names of noisemakers --

    (笑聲)

  • (Laughter)

    那個權力可大。

  • which was having enough power of its own.

    而且我的老師還會給班長拿根教鞭,

  • But my teacher would also give you a cane to hold in your hand

    讓他拿著教鞭在班上 走動監督搗亂的人。

  • while you walk around and patrol the class for noisemakers.

    當然,使用教鞭打人是不被允許的。

  • Now, of course you were not actually allowed to use the cane.

    不過對 9 歲的我實在很有激勵,

  • But it was an exciting prospect for the nine-year-old me.

    因為我非常想當班長。

  • I very much wanted to be the class monitor.

    而且我也考上第一名的成績。

  • And I got the highest score on the test.

    聽到老師說: 「班長必須是個男生」我非常訝異。

  • Then, to my surprise, my teacher said that the monitor had to be a boy.

    她早該在考試前就先說清楚才對, 但是她以為大家都知道。

  • She had forgotten to make that clear earlier

    (笑聲)

  • because she assumed it was ... obvious.

    成績第二名的是位男孩,

  • (Laughter)

    結果他變成了班長。

  • A boy had the second highest score on the test,

    更有意思的是:

  • and he would be monitor.

    那個男孩個性善良又溫和,

  • Now, what was even more interesting about this

    對於拿著教鞭在班上巡邏毫無興趣,

  • is that the boy was a sweet, gentle soul

    而我則充滿野心渴望當班長,

  • who had no interest in patrolling the class with the cane,

    但我是女生他是男生,

  • while I was full of ambition to do so.

    所以他當上了班長。

  • But I was female and he was male,

    這件事情我一輩子忘不了。

  • and so he became the class monitor.

    這是我常犯的錯誤想法:

  • And I've never forgotten that incident.

    總是以為我懂的道理,別人應該也懂。

  • I often make the mistake of thinking

    舉我的好朋友路易士為例。

  • that something that is obvious to me is just as obvious to everyone else.

    他是位聰明上進的男人,

  • Now, take my dear friend Louis

    會在我們聊天的時候說:

  • for example.

    「我不懂妳為什麼總是說 事情對女人而言不同且更難。

  • Louis is a brilliant, progressive man,

    也許過去情況是那樣, 但現在已經不同了。」

  • and we would have conversations and he would tell me,

    我不理解他怎麼會看不清楚 那些不言而喻的事情。

  • "I don't know what you mean by things being different or harder for women.

    有天晚上我跟他 在拉哥斯市與朋友聚會。

  • Maybe in the past, but not now."

    在座可能有人不太熟悉拉哥斯市,

  • And I didn't understand how Louis could not see what seems so self-evident.

    這個城市有個特別美的地方,

  • Then one evening, in Lagos, Louis and I went out with friends.

    就是這裡的人 散佈在各處且充滿活力,

  • And for people here who are not familiar with Lagos,

    會很熱心地「幫」你泊車。

  • there's that wonderful Lagos' fixture,

    我那天傍晚對幫我們 找到停車位的男士,

  • the sprinkling of energetic men who hang around outside establishments

    戲劇性的舉止感到非常滿意。

  • and very dramatically "help" you park your car.

    所以當我下車後, 決定給他一點小費。

  • I was impressed with the particular theatrics

    於是我打開皮包,

  • of the man who found us a parking spot that evening.

    把手伸進裡面,

  • And so as we were leaving, I decided to leave him a tip.

    拿出我的錢,這是我工作賺來的錢。

  • I opened my bag,

    然後給了那個男士,

  • put my hand inside my bag,

    這個男士很感激也很開心,

  • brought out my money that I had earned from doing my work,

    從我手裡把錢拿過去,

  • and I gave it to the man.

    然後把轉向路易士說:

  • And he, this man who was very grateful and very happy,

    「謝謝您,先生!」

  • took the money from me,

    (笑聲)

  • looked across at Louis

    路易士很驚訝的看著我說:

  • and said, "Thank you, sir!"

    「他為什麼謝我?又不是我給的錢。」

  • (Laughter)

    然後我看到路易士 臉上恍然大悟的樣子。

  • Louis looked at me, surprised,

    那個男士一定是這樣想;

  • and asked, "Why is he thanking me? I didn't give him the money."

    我的錢肯定都是來自身旁的路易士,

  • Then I saw realization dawn on Louis' face.

    因為路易士是男的;

  • The man believed that whatever money I had

    男人和女人是不同的。

  • had ultimately come from Louis.

    我們有不同的荷爾蒙, 和不同的性器官,

  • Because Louis is a man.

    在生理能力上也各有差別。

  • Men and women are different.

    女人可以生孩子,男人不行。

  • We have different hormones, we have different sexual organs,

    至少現在不行。

  • we have different biological abilities.

    (笑聲)

  • Women can have babies, men can't.

    男人有睾丸酮, 通常身體比女人強壯。

  • At least not yet.

    世界上女人的數量 比男人稍微多一些,

  • (Laughter)

    全球的女性大概占了 52%,

  • Men have testosterone and are in general physically stronger than women.

    但有權力與聲望的 絕大部分都是男性。

  • There's slightly more women than men in the world,

    最近獲得諾貝爾和平獎的肯亞籍得主;

  • about 52 percent of the world's population is female.

    旺加里.馬塔伊

  • But most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men.

    她闡述的非常簡明:

  • The late Kenyan Nobel Peace laureate,

    「爬得越高,女性就越少。」

  • Wangari Maathai,

    我們在最近的美國大選中不時聽到 「莉莉—萊柏特合理工資法」,

  • put it simply and well when she said:

    如果深入去了解, 會發現它的命名原意,

  • "The higher you go, the fewer women there are."

    分別指的是「一個男人和一個女人」;

  • In the recent US elections we kept hearing of the Lilly Ledbetter law,

    兩者的工作內容和資格都一樣,

  • and if we go beyond the nicely alliterative name of that law,

    但是男的卻獲得較多的薪資, 原因只是因為他是「男性」。

  • it was really about a man and a woman

    所以實務上來看掌控世界的是男性,

  • doing the same job, being equally qualified,

    而且數千年以來都是理所當然,

  • and the man being paid more because he's a man.

    因為人類當初的生存環境,

  • So in the literal way, men rule the world,

    體格強壯是當時首要的生存條件,

  • and this made sense a thousand years ago

    所以身體強壯的人才可能做領袖,

  • because human beings lived then in a world

    而男性身體普遍較為強壯。

  • in which physical strength was the most important attribute for survival.

    當然也有很多例外。

  • The physically stronger person was more likely to lead,

    (笑聲)

  • and men, in general, are physically stronger.

    但是今天我們生活在大不同的世界。

  • Of course there are many exceptions.

    體格強壯已不再是當領袖的條件,

  • (Laughter)

    而是富有創造力和智慧,

  • But today we live in a vastly different world.

    能夠創新的人,

  • The person more likely to lead is not the physically stronger person;

    這些特質並非由荷爾蒙來決定。

  • it is the more creative person, the more intelligent person,

    在智力上男性與女性都一樣,

  • the more innovative person,

    在創造和革新上亦是如此。

  • and there are no hormones for those attributes.

    我們已經進化,

  • A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent,

    但是性別觀念依舊是停滯不進。

  • to be creative, to be innovative.

    之前,我走進奈及利亞一家酒店大廳,

  • We have evolved;

    想一下要不要說出它的店名,算了。

  • but it seems to me that our ideas of gender had not evolved.

    門口的警衛攔住我 並問了些惱人的事,

  • Some weeks ago, I walked into a lobby of one of the best Nigerian hotels.

    因為他們很自然的認為,

  • I thought about naming the hotel, but I thought I probably shouldn't.

    一個獨自進入酒店的奈及利亞女人 必定是個妓女。

  • And a guard at the entrance stopped me and asked me annoying questions,

    順便問一下,

  • because their automatic assumption is

    為什麼這些酒店 只在乎提供沒用的用品,

  • that a Nigerian female walking into a hotel alone is a sex worker.

    何不乾脆直接提供性的服務呢?

  • And by the way,

    拉哥斯很多富有聲譽的酒吧和俱樂部 我是無法單獨進入的。

  • why do these hotels focus on the ostensible supply

    他們就是不讓女性單獨進去,

  • rather than the demand for sex workers?

    你必須有男人陪伴才能進去。

  • In Lagos I cannot go alone into many "reputable" bars and clubs.

    每次我帶男性 進入奈及利亞的餐廳,

  • They just don't let you in if you're a woman alone,

    服務員只招呼男人, 卻忘了我的存在。

  • you have to be accompanied by a man.

    服務員是商品。

  • Each time I walk into a Nigerian restaurant with a man,

    (笑聲)

  • the waiter greets the man and ignores me.

    女人對這點的反應好像是, 「是啊!我想也是!」

  • The waiters are products --

    這些服務員是社會的產物,

  • (Laughter)

    社會教育他們男人比女人重要。

  • At this some women felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"

    我也知道服務員無意冒犯我。

  • The waiters are products of a society

    但是理性上的理解是一回事, 情緒上的感覺卻是另一回事。

  • that has taught them that men are more important than women.

    每次我被忽視, 就讓我感到不存在一樣。

  • And I know that waiters don't intend any harm.

    我感到很沮喪。

  • But it's one thing to know intellectually and quite another to feel it emotionally.

    我想告訴他們 我跟男人一樣也是人,

  • Each time they ignore me, I feel invisible.

    我也值得被人感謝。

  • I feel upset.

    這些都是小事,

  • I want to tell them that I am just as human as the man,

    但有時小事卻最令人傷痛。

  • that I'm just as worthy of acknowledgment.

    不久之前我寫了篇文章,

  • These are little things,

    關於身為拉哥斯 年輕女性所代表的意義,

  • but sometimes it's the little things that sting the most.

    然後印刷商告訴說:

  • And not long ago, I wrote an article

    「那本書充滿怒氣哦。」

  • about what it means to be young and female in Lagos,

    當然真的是非常令人生氣的!

  • and the printers told me,

    (笑聲)

  • "It was so angry."

    我很生氣。

  • Of course it was angry!

    今日性別差異仍是非常不公平。

  • (Laughter)

    我們都應該感到憤怒。

  • I am angry.

    歷史上憤怒曾帶來很多正面的改變。

  • Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice.

    但是除了憤怒之外,我也懷著希望。

  • We should all be angry.

    因為我深信人類的能力

  • Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change;

    可以為了更好的未來 而去創造和改造。

  • but, in addition to being angry, I'm also hopeful.

    全世界的性別問題都至關重要,

  • Because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings

    但是我想聚焦於奈及利亞,

  • to make and remake themselves for the better.

    以及整個非洲,

  • Gender matters everywhere in the world,

    因為這是我的家鄉, 也是我心之所向。

  • but I want to focus on Nigeria

    今天我想要求大家

  • and on Africa in general,

    開始夢想和籌畫一個不一樣的世界,

  • because it is where I know, and because it is where my heart is.

    一個更公平的世界,

  • And I would like today to ask

    一個男人和女人都比現在更開心 和更真實的世界。

  • that we begin to dream about and plan for a different world,

    讓我們這樣開始做:

  • a fairer world,

    我們要用不同的方式教育女兒,

  • a world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves.

    我們也要用不同的方式教育兒子。

  • And this is how to start:

    我們養育男孩的方式 大大地幫了他們倒忙,

  • we must raise our daughters differently.

    抹煞了男孩的人性。

  • We must also raise our sons differently.

    把「大丈夫氣概」定義得很狹隘,

  • We do a great disservice to boys on how we raise them;

    把大丈夫氣概視為 一個堅固狹小的牢籠,

  • we stifle the humanity of boys.

    再把男孩關進去。

  • We define masculinity in a very narrow way,

    我們教男孩害怕恐懼。

  • masculinity becomes this hard, small cage

    我們教男孩害怕短處和脆弱。

  • and we put boys inside the cage.

    讓男孩隱藏自己真實的一面,

  • We teach boys to be afraid of fear.

    因為他們必須做一個 奈及利亞人所說的「硬漢」。

  • We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability.

    同年紀的中學男孩和女孩,

  • We teach them to mask their true selves,

    兩者都是十來歲的年輕人,

  • because they have to be, in Nigerian speak, "hard man!"

    兩者都有同樣多的零用錢在口袋裡,

  • In secondary school, a boy and a girl, both of them teenagers,

    一起出去玩的時候, 總是讓男生付錢,

  • both of them with the same amount of pocket money, would go out

    來讓他展現男子氣概。

  • and then the boy would be expected always to pay,

    而我們還在困惑 為何男生較會從家裡偷錢。

  • to prove his masculinity.

    假如我們在養育男生和女生的時候

  • And yet we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.

    不把金錢和男子氣概 聯想在一起,會怎樣?

  • What if both boys and girls were raised

    如果我們把「男生付錢」的態度改成

  • not to link masculinity with money?

    「誰錢多誰付錢」那麼又會怎樣?

  • What if the attitude was not "the boy has to pay"

    當然,由於歷史的優勢,

  • but rather "whoever has more should pay?"

    大多情況下男人會比較富有一些,

  • Now, of course because of that historical advantage,

    但是如果我們開始改變 教育孩子的方式,

  • it is mostly men who will have more today,

    五十年後,一百年後,

  • but if we start raising children differently,

    屆時男人將不再被迫 去證明自己的男子氣概。

  • then in fifty years, in a hundred years,

    但到目前為止, 教導他們覺得自己必須要做硬漢,

  • boys will no longer have the pressure of having to prove this masculinity.

    這件事最糟的結果是:

  • But by far the worst thing we do to males,

    我們留給他們一個非常脆弱的自我。

  • by making them feel that they have to be hard,

    男人被迫成為硬漢的感覺越強烈,

  • is that we leave them with very fragile egos.

    他的自我就越脆弱。

  • The more "hard man" the man feels compelled to be,

    而我們又再用 更不親和的方式教育女孩,

  • the weaker his ego is.

    因為我們教育她們 去迎合男人脆弱的自我,

  • And then we do a much greater disservice to girls

    我們教育女孩子收斂自己,

  • because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of men.

    讓自己變得更卑微。

  • We