I was going to speak at a TED conference.

我記得當我聽到

I ran across the hall to one of my classrooms

我要去 TED 演講的時候，

to inform my students.

我跑到我帶的其中一個班級，

"Guess what, guys?

告訴那裡面的學生：

I've been asked to give a TED Talk."

「你們知道嗎？

The reaction wasn't one I quite expected.

我被邀請去 TED 演講呢！」

The whole room went silent.

但他們的反應不如預期。

"A TED Talk? You mean, like the one you made us watch on grit?

整間教室只有沉默。

Or the one with the scientist that did this really awesome thing with robots?"

「TED？是那些很勵志的演講嗎？

Muhammad asked.

還是那些科學家和機器人 會做出來的東西？」

"Yes, just like that."

穆罕默德問我。

"But Coach, those people are really important and smart."

「嗯，差不多是。」

(Laughter)

「但教練，只有重要又聰明的人 會去那裡演講耶。」

"I know that."

（笑聲）

"But Coach, why are you speaking? You hate public speaking."

「我知道啊。」

"I do," I admitted,

「你又為什麼會去演講? 你不是不喜歡在眾人面前說話嗎？」

"But it's important that I speak about us, that I speak about your journeys,

「我是不喜歡，」我承認，

about my journey.

「但講關於我們的事何其重要，

People need to know."

那些關於你我的歷程，

The students at the all-refugee school that I founded

是其他人需要知道的。」

decided to end with some words of encouragement.

我所創立的難民學校的學生

"Cool! It better be good, Coach."

決定以鼓勵的話語結束我們的對話。

(Laughter)

「不錯呢！祝你順利，教練。」

There are 65.3 million people who have been forcibly displaced

（笑聲）

from their homes because of war or persecution.

當今有 6530 萬人因為戰火迫害，

The largest number, 11 million, are from Syria.

不得不離家異地。

33,952 people flee their homes daily.

其中來自敘利亞的 1100 萬人占最多數。

The vast majority remain in refugee camps,

每天有 33,952 人逃離。

whose conditions cannot be defined as humane under anyone's definition.

他們多數來到了難民營，

We are participating in the degradation of humans.

沒有人敢說那裡的條件合乎人道。

Never have we had numbers this high.

我們把人類降級。

This is the highest number of refugees since World War II.

我們從來沒有那麼多人過。

Now, let me tell you why this issue is so important to me.

這是自二戰以來最大的難民潮。

I am an Arab. I am an immigrant.

讓我來告訴你為何 這個議題對我這麼重要。

I am a Muslim.

我是位阿拉伯移民。

I've also spent the last 12 years of my life working with refugees.

我是穆斯林。

Oh -- and I'm also gay.

近 12 年我都投身難民相關工作。

It makes me really popular these days.

噢──我還是同性戀。

(Laughter)

這讓我近期滿受矚目的。

But I am the daughter of a refugee.

（笑聲）

My grandmother fled Syria in 1964 during the first Assad regime.

我是難民的女兒。

She was three months pregnant when she packed up a suitcase,

我奶奶在 1964 年逃離 敘利亞的阿薩德政權。

piled in her five children and drove to neighboring Jordan,

那時她已經懷胎三個月了，

not knowing what the future held for her and her family.

她帶著五個小孩來到鄰國約旦，

My grandfather decided to stay, not believing it was that bad.

面對著未知的未來。

He followed her a month later, after his brothers were tortured

我爺爺決定留下來， 不相信情況那麼糟。

and his factory was taken over by the government.

但在他兄弟被虐待以後， 他也在一個月後過來了。

They rebuilt their lives starting from scratch

他的工廠被政府控制。

and eventually became independently wealthy Jordanian citizens.

他們白手重新起家，

I was born in Jordan 11 years later.

成為經濟獨立的約旦人。

It was really important to my grandmother for us to know our history

11 年後我在約旦出生。

and our journey.

奶奶認為知道自己的歷史和歷程

I was eight years old when she took me to visit my first refugee camp.

是很重要的。

I didn't understand why.

我 8 歲時她帶我參觀了 我第一個難民營。

I didn't know why it was so important to her

我沒辦法理解。

for us to go.

我不知道我們一定要去的理由何在。

I remember walking into the camp holding her hand,

我記得她牽著我的手跟我說：

and her saying, "Go play with the kids,"

「去跟孩子們玩吧。」

while she visited with the women in the camp.

她自己則要拜訪一些女人。

I didn't want to.

我那時不想去。

These kids weren't like me.

那些小孩跟我不一樣。

They were poor. They lived in a camp.

他們很窮還住在難民營。

I refused.

我拒絕了。

She knelt down beside me and firmly said, "Go.

奶奶蹲在我旁邊堅定地說：「快去。

And don't come back until you've played.

在跟他們玩過之前不准回來。

Don't ever think people are beneath you

不要覺得他們比你低下，

or that you have nothing to learn from others."

或覺得他們沒什麼好教你的。」

I reluctantly went.

我不情願地去了。

I never wanted to disappoint my grandmother.

我不想讓我奶奶失望。

I returned a few hours later,

我跟那些小孩踢了一下足球，

having spent some time playing soccer with the kids in the camp.

幾個小時候才回來。

We walked out of the camp,

我們走出難民營，

and I was excitedly telling her what a great time I had

我很興奮的告訴她我有多高興，

and how fantastic the kids were.

那些小孩有多棒。

"Haram!" I said in Arabic. "Poor them."

「阿拉禁止！」我用阿拉伯文說。 「他們真可憐。」

"Haram on us," she said, using the word's different meaning,

「我們也是不潔的，」 她用了這個字的另一個意思，

that we were sinning.

代表我們都有罪。

"Don't feel sorry for them; believe in them."

「別對他們感到抱歉， 而是去相信他們。」

It wasn't until I left my country of origin for the United States

一直到我來美國後

that I realized the impact of her words.

才體會到了這句話的涵義。

After my college graduation, I applied for and was granted political asylum,

大學畢業後我得到了政治庇護，

based on being a member of a social group.

基於我是社會團體的一份子。

Some people may not realize this,

有的人可能沒察覺，

but you can still get the death penalty in some countries for being gay.

但在某些國家身為同性戀 是會被判死刑的。

I had to give up my Jordanian citizenship.

我得放棄我的約旦國籍。

That was the hardest decision I've ever had to make,

這是我做過最艱難的決定，

but I had no other choice.

但我別無選擇。

The point is,

重點是，

when you find yourself choosing between home and survival,

當你得在生存和故鄉做選擇時，

the question "Where are you from?" becomes very loaded.

「你從哪裡來？」就會變成負擔。

A Syrian woman who I recently met at a refugee camp in Greece

我在希臘難民營遇到的敘利亞女人

articulated it best,

描述得很好，

when she recalled the exact moment she realized she had to flee Aleppo.

她在回想自己得逃離 阿勒頗的時候這麼說道：

"I looked out the window and there was nothing.

「我往窗外看去， 但只看到一片荒蕪。

It was all rubble.

到處都是瓦礫。

There were no stores, no streets, no schools. Everything was gone.

沒有商店、沒有街道， 更遑題學校了。所有東西都消失了。

I had been in my apartment for months,

我在公寓住了幾個月，

listening to bombs drop and watching people die.

聽著炸彈墜落，看著人們死去。

But I always thought it would get better,

但我相信明天會更好，

that no one could force me to leave,

沒有人能逼我離開，

no one could take my home away from me.

沒有人能奪走我的房子。

And I don't know why it was that morning, but when I looked outside,

可是一個早晨我看向外頭，

I realized if I didn't leave, my three young children would die.

我驚覺如果再不離開， 我的三個小孩就死定了。

And so we left.

所以我們只好離開。

We left because we had to, not because we wanted to.

這是因為我們必須離開， 不是自己的意願使然。

There was no choice," she said.

我們別無選擇。」她說。

It's kind of hard to believe that you belong

當你無家可歸之時，

when you don't have a home,

當你的母國因 恐懼或迫害而拒絕你時，

when your country of origin rejects you because of fear or persecution,

當你的故土被摧毀殆盡時，

or the city that you grew up in is completely destroyed.

你會很難相信自己屬於 任何一個群體。

I didn't feel like I had a home.

我那時不覺得我有家。

I was no longer a Jordanian citizen,

我不再是約旦人，

but I wasn't American, either.

但我同時也不是美國人。

I felt a kind of loneliness

孤寂感油然而生，

that is still hard to put into words today.

至今仍難以言喻。

After college, I desperately needed to find a place to call home.

大學畢業後，我急切地 想要找一個可以稱為家的所在。

I bounced around from state to state

我在州與州之間徘徊，

and eventually ended up in North Carolina.

最後來到了北卡羅來納。

Kindhearted people who felt sorry for me

善心的民眾可憐我，

offered to pay rent

他們幫我繳房租，

or buy me a meal or a suit for my new interview.

或在我去應徵時幫我買食物或衣服。

It just made me feel more isolated and incapable.

這只讓我更覺得自己的孤立無能。

It wasn't until I met Miss Sarah,

直到我遇到了莎拉小姐，

a Southern Baptist who took me in at my lowest and gave me a job,

一個美南浸信會教徒， 在我人生的低點給了我一份工作，

that I started to believe in myself.

讓我開始產生自信。

Miss Sarah owned a diner in the mountains of North Carolina.

莎拉小姐在北卡羅萊那州的 山區有一間餐館。

I assumed, because of my privileged upbringing

我原本以為是因為我優越的成長環境

and my Seven Sister education,

和七姊妹學院的學歷，

that she would ask me to manage the restaurant.

讓她給我管理餐廳的機會。

I was wrong.

但我錯了。

I started off washing dishes,

我從洗盤子、

cleaning toilets and working the grill.

清廁所、顧烤架開始做起。

I was humbled; I was shown the value of hard work.

我態度謙卑，也明白了 努力工作的價值。

But most importantly, I felt valued and embraced.

但更重要的是，我覺得被重視了。

I celebrated Christmas with her family,

我和她們家一同慶祝聖誕節，

and she attempted to observe Ramadan with me.

她也試著跟我一起過齋戒月。

I remember being very nervous about coming out to her --

我記得對她出櫃那時我緊張萬分──

after all, she was a Southern Baptist.

畢竟她是美南浸信會教徒。

I sat on the couch next to her

我坐在她旁邊

and I said, "Miss Sarah, you know that I'm gay."

並說道：「莎拉， 我是一名同性戀。」

Her response is one that I will never forget.

她的回應讓我永生難忘。

"That's fine, honey. Just don't be a slut."

「沒關係，親愛的。 別當個蕩婦就好。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

I eventually moved to Atlanta, still trying to find my home.

我最後移到亞特蘭大， 仍試著尋找我的定所。

My journey took a strange turn three years later,

三年後我遇到一群難民小孩在踢球，

after I met a group of refugee kids playing soccer outside.

我的旅程有了奇妙的轉折。

I'd made a wrong turn into this apartment complex,

我走錯路進到了一間公寓大樓，

and I saw these kids outside playing soccer.

看到這些小孩在踢足球。

They were playing barefoot with a raggedy soccer ball

他們赤腳踢著殘破的足球，

and rocks set up as goals.

並用石頭計分。

I watched them for about an hour,

我大概看了一個小時，

and after that I was smiling.

之後我笑了。

The boys reminded me of home.

他們讓我想起了家。

They reminded me of the way I grew up playing soccer

想起了我兒時在約旦街道上，

in the streets of Jordan, with my brothers and cousins.

和兄弟姊妹一起踢球。

I eventually joined their game.

我加入了他們的賽局。

They were a little skeptical about letting me join it,

他們一開始還有點疑義，

because according to them, girls don't know how to play.

因為他們認為女生不會踢球。

But obviously I did.

但我當然會。

I asked them if they had ever played on a team.

我問他們有沒有組隊過。

They said they hadn't, but that they would love to.

他們說沒有，但是願意試試看。

I gradually won them over, and we formed our first team.

我慢慢地說服他們，並組了隊。

This group of kids would give me a crash course in refugees, poverty

這群小孩會讓我對難民、貧困

and humanity.

和人性上有了深刻的一課。

Three brothers from Afghanistan -- Roohullah, Noorullah and Zabiullah --

來自阿富汗的三兄弟── 魯拉、努爾拉和扎比伍拉──

played a major role in that.

扮演了主要角色。

I showed up late to practice one day to find the field completely deserted.

一天我遲到，卻發現 場地上沒有半個人。

I was really worried.

我很緊張。

My team loved to practice.

我的團隊是喜歡練習的。

It wasn't like them to miss practice.

他們應該不會錯過才是。

I got out of my car, and two kids ran out from behind a dumpster,

我從車子出來， 兩個小孩從垃圾桶後跑出，

waving their hands frantically.

焦急地揮著手。

"Coach, Rooh got beat up. He got jumped.

「教練，魯被人打啦。他被人圍毆。

There was blood everywhere."

到處都是血。」

"What do you mean? What do you mean he got beat up?"

「你說被打是甚麼意思?」

"These bad kids came and beat him up, Coach.

「有一群壞蛋跑來打他，教練。

Everybody left. They were all scared."

大家都很害怕地跑了。」

We hopped into my car and drove over to Rooh's apartment.

我們上車來到魯住的地方。

I knocked on the door, and Noor opened it.

我敲了敲門，努爾來幫我開門。

"Where's Rooh? I need to talk to him, see if he's OK."

「魯在哪裡？我得跟他談談， 看他好不好。」

"He's in his room, Coach. He's refusing to come out."

「他在他房間，教練。他不想出來。」

I knocked on the door.

我敲了門。

"Rooh, come on out. I need to talk to you.

「魯，出來吧！我們講一下話。

I need to see if you're OK or if we need to go to the hospital."

我得看你好不好，要不要去醫院。」

He came out.

他出來了 。

He had a big gash on his head, a split lip,

他的臉上有一道疤痕，嘴唇也裂了。

and he was physically shaken.

他渾身發抖。

I was looking at him,

我看著他，

and I asked the boys to call for their mom,

並請其他人打電話給他們的媽媽，

because I needed to go to the hospital with him.

因為我得跟他去醫院。

They called for their mom.

他們打了電話，

She came out.

而媽媽也來了。

I had my back turned to her, and she started screaming in Farsi.

她開始用波斯語尖叫，我背對著她。

The boys fell to the ground laughing.

其他男孩笑著在地上打滾。

I was very confused,

我感到困惑，

because there was nothing funny about this.

因為這並不好笑。

They explained to me that she said,

他們告訴我媽媽是在說

"You told me your coach was a Muslim and a woman."

「你們明明告訴我 你們的教練是穆斯林女性。」

From behind, I didn't appear to be either to her.

而我從背後看來一點都不像。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"I am Muslim," I said, turning to her.

「我是穆斯林，」我轉身告訴她。

"Ašhadu ʾan lā ʾilāha ʾilla (A)llāh,"

「我作證──萬物非主，唯有真主。」

reciting the Muslim declaration of faith.

這是穆斯林的信仰宣言。

Confused,

她很疑惑，

and perhaps maybe a little bit reassured,

但慢慢開始相信，

she realized that yes,

眼前這個美國樣、

I, this American-acting, shorts-wearing, non-veiled woman,

穿短褲、沒頭巾的女人，

was indeed a Muslim.

的確是穆斯林。

Their family had fled the Taliban.

他們的家庭逃離塔利班。

Hundreds of people in their village

幾百位村民

were murdered.

都被殺了。

Their father was taken in by the Taliban,

他們家父親被塔利班抓走，

only to return a few months later, a shell of the man he once was.

幾個月後被送回來， 已經沒有了生命。

The family escaped to Pakistan,

他們逃到巴基斯坦，

and the two older boys, age eight and 10 at the time,

而兩個分別為 8 歲和 10 歲的男孩，

wove rugs for 10 hours a day to provide for their family.

為了生計每天織地毯 10 小時。

They were so excited when they found out that they had been approved

他們獲知能在美國

to resettle in the United States,

重新開始時有多麼高興，

making them the lucky 0.1 percent who get to do that.

只有千分之一的幸運兒有這個機會。

They had hit the jackpot.

他們就像中了大獎。

Their story is not unique.

這個故事並不特別。

Every refugee family I have worked with has had some version of this.

每個我接觸的難民都有 差不多的遭遇。

I work with kids

我接觸孩子，

who have seen their mothers raped, their fathers' fingers sliced off.

那些看到母親被強姦， 父親被剁手指的孩子。

One kid saw a bullet put in his grandmother's head,

一位孩子看見一顆子彈 穿過她祖母的腦門，

because she refused to let the rebels take him to be a child soldier.

因為她拒絕惡棍 抓她的小孩去當童兵。

Their journeys are haunting.

他們的故事都很駭人。

But what I get to see every day is hope, resilience, determination,

但我每天看到的 是希望，是復甦，是決心，

a love of life

是生活的愛，

and appreciation for being able to rebuild their lives.

還有能夠重獲新生的感激。

I was at the boys' apartment one night,

一晚我在男孩的公寓，

when the mom came home after cleaning 18 hotel rooms in one day.

他們的母親在清完 18 間 旅館客房後回來。

She sat down, and Noor rubbed her feet,

她坐下，努爾開始幫她腳底按摩，