and I am a poet,

我叫溫蒂卡提瓦，

a Pan-Africanist

我是詩人、

and a freedom fighter.

泛非主義者，

I was 23 years old

也是自由鬥士。

when I first heard about Reproductive Justice.

我 23 歲的時候，

I was working at Women with a Vision,

第一次聽到生殖正義一詞。

where I learned that Reproductive Justice was defined by Sister Song as:

當時我在 Women with a Vision 工作，

One: A woman's right to decide if and when she will have a baby

在那裡，我得知生殖正義被 「Sister Song」定義為：

and the conditions under which she will give birth.

一：女人有權可以決定 是否要／何時想要生孩子，

Two: A woman's right to decide if she will not have a baby

以及她想要在何種條件下生孩子。

and her options for preventing or ending a pregnancy.

二：女人有權決定 她是否不要生孩子，

And three: A woman's right to parent the children she already has

且可以選擇避孕或墮胎。

in safe and healthy environments

三：女人有權在安全 且健康的環境中教養

without fear of violence

她已經擁有的孩子，

from individuals or the government.

且不用害怕來自他人

I've always wanted to be a mother.

或政府的暴力行為。

Growing up, I heard all about the joys of motherhood.

我一直想成為母親。

I used to dream of watching my womb weave wonder into this world.

成長過程中，我聽到的 都是當媽媽的喜悅。

See, I knew I was young.

我以前會夢到看著我的子宮 將奇蹟帶到世界上。

But I figured,

我知道我當時還年輕。

it couldn't hurt to start planning for something so big, so early.

但我認為，

But now,

這麼重大的事情，現在 早點開始規劃也沒有害處。

I'm 26 years old.

但現在，

And I don't know if I have what it takes to stomach motherhood in this country.

我 26 歲了。

See, over the years, America has taught me more about parenting

我不知道自己是否有足夠本事 承受在這個國家中當一名母親。

than any book on the subject.

關於教養小孩， 這些年來美國所教我的，

It has taught me how some women give birth to babies

遠多於這方面的書籍。

and others to suspects.

美國教了我， 有些女人生的是寶寶，

It has taught me that this body will birth kin

其他女人生的則是嫌疑犯。

who are more likely to be held in prison cells

美國教了我， 這樣的身體所生出的親人

than to hold college degrees.

比較有可能被關進監獄，

There is something about being Black in America

而非取得大學學位。

that has made motherhood seem

身為在美國的黑人，有一項特點，

complicated.

會讓擔任母親這件事

Seem like,

看上去很複雜。

I don't know what to do to raise my kids right

就像是，

and keep them alive.

我不知道如何才能 正確地撫養我的孩子，

Do I tell my son not to steal because it is wrong,

讓他們活下去。

or because they will use it to justify his death?

我要教導兒子不可偷竊 是因為它錯誤的？

Do I tell him

或因為別人可以 用偷竊之名來殺害他？

that even if he pays for his Skittles and sweet tea

我該告訴他

there will still be those who will watch him

即使他買彩虹糖和甜茶時有付錢，

and see a criminal before child;

還是會有人緊盯著他，

who will call the police and not wait for them to come.

把他當罪犯而非小孩；

Do I even want the police to come?

會叫警察，但不會等警察到來？

Too many Sean Bells go off in my head when I consider calling 911.

我真的會希望警察來嗎？

I will not take it for Oscar Grant-ed that they will not come and kill my son.

我考慮要不要報警時， 滿腦子都是貝爾槍擊案的事。

So, we may have gotten rid of the nooses,

我不會認定他們一定不會像殺了 奧斯卡葛蘭特一樣殺了我兒子。

but I still consider it lynching when they murder Black boys

我們身上可能已經沒有了枷鎖，

and leave their bodies for four hours in the sun.

但我仍認為他們在動私刑，

As a historical reminder

謀殺了黑人男孩， 並將遺體曝在太陽下四小時。

that there is something about being Black in America

這是在提醒我們不要忘記歷史，

that has made motherhood sound

在美國身為黑人，有一項特點，

like mourning.

會讓擔任母親這件事，

Sound like one morning I could wake up

聽起來就像服喪。

and see my son as a repeat of last week's story.

聽起來就像某天早晨我醒來，

Sound like I could wake up and realize

看到上星期故事 再次發生在我兒子身上。

the death of my daughter wouldn't even be newsworthy.

聽起來就像是我可能起床醒來

So you can't tell me that Sandra Bland is the only Black woman

就發現我女兒的死 甚至沒有新聞價值。

whose violence deserves more than our silence.

所以你不能告訴我， 受到暴力對待的黑人女性當中

What about our other dark-skinned daughters in distress

只有珊卓布蘭達 應該讓我們打破沉默。

whose deaths we have yet to remember?

那麼其他在痛苦中死去， 卻還沒被我們記得的

What about our children

深色皮膚女兒們又該怎麼辦？

whose lives don't fit neatly between the lives of your genders?

那麼，那些人生不能完全符合

See, apparently, nothing is a great protector

大眾兩性標準的那些孩子 又該怎麼辦？

if you come out of a body that looks like this.

很顯然，如果你是從 像這樣的身體生出來的，

See, there is something about being Black in America

你就無法得到很好的保護。

that has made motherhood sound

身為在美國的黑人，有一項特點，

like something I'm not sure I look forward to.

會讓擔任母親這件事，聽起來

I've written too many poems about dead Black children to be naïve

像是我無法肯定 我會期待的一件事。

about the fact that there could one day be a poem written about my kids.

我已經寫過太多首詩， 談到死去的黑人小孩有多天真，

But I do not want to be a mother who gave birth to poems.

談到有天可能會有一首詩 內容是在描寫我的小孩。

I do not want a stanza for a son

但我不想當一個生出 「詩」的母親。

nor a line for a little girl

我不想要有關於 一個兒子的一節詩，

nor a footnote for a child who doesn't fit into this world.

或關於一個小女孩的一行句子，

No.

或關於一個無法融入 這世界的孩子的一段註腳。

I do not want children who will live forever

不要。

in the pages of poetry,

我不希望孩子會永遠活在

yet can't seem to outlive

詩集的頁面中，

me.

真正活在世界上的時間

(Applause)

卻沒有比我長。

I was invited to the TEDWomen conference

（掌聲）

to perform a poem.

我受邀來 TEDWomen 大會，

But for me, poetry is not about art and performance.

是要來表演一首詩。

It is a form of protest.

但對我來說，詩的重點 不是藝術和表演。

Yesterday,

它是一種抗議的形式。

during rehearsal,

昨天，

I was told that there had been

彩排的時候，

two to three recent TED Talks about Black Lives Matter.

有人告訴我最近有

That maybe I should cut down my TED Talk

兩、三場 TED 近期演說的主題 和「黑人命也是命」運動有關。

so it could "just" be about Reproductive Justice.

說也許我可以刪減 一些我的演說內容，

But that poem and this talk

讓演說變成「正好」 與生殖正義有關就好。

is fundamentally about my inability to separate the two.

但那首詩和這場演說

I was 21 years old --

在根本上談的就是我無法 將這兩者區分開來。

(Applause)

我 21 歲時——

I was 21 years old when Trayvon Martin was murdered.

（掌聲）

Trayvon Martin, a 17-year-old Black boy,

我 21 歲時，發生了 特雷文馬丁謀殺案。

a Black child,

特雷文馬丁是個 17 歲的黑人男孩，

reminded me

一個黑人小孩，

reminded us

他提醒了我，

how little this nation actually values Black life.

提醒了我們，

The hashtag #BlackLivesMatter

這個國家實際上有多麼 不珍視黑人的生命。

became the most recognized call

「# 黑人命也是命」這個標籤

for Black people and our children

成了最廣為人知的呼籲，

to live in safe environments and healthy communities

希望黑人和我們的小孩

without fear

能在安全的環境 和健康的社區中生活，

from violence from individuals or the state or government.

不必畏懼

Months later,

來自個人、國家，或政府的暴力。

when George Zimmerman was not held responsible

幾個月後，

for murdering Trayvon Martin,

喬治季莫曼不用為

I heard Sybrina Fulton,

謀殺馬丁負責時，

Trayvon Martin's mother, speak.

我聽到賽布琳娜佛爾頓，

Her testimony so deeply impacted me

即馬丁的母親，所說的話。

that I found myself constantly asking,

她的證詞深深地衝擊了我，

what would it mean to mother in the United Stated of America

造成我自己時常在問，

in this skin?

在美國，母親擁有這種膚色，

What does motherhood really mean,

代表什麼意義？

when for so many who look like me

母親身分真正的意義是什麼？

it is synonymous with mourning?

因為對於許多外表像我這樣的人，

Without realizing it,

母親身分就等同服喪。

I had begun to link the Reproductive Justice framework

不知不覺間，

and the Movement for Black Lives.

我就開始將生殖正義的架構

As I learned more about Reproductive Justice

與「黑人命也是命」運動連結起來。

at Women With A Vision,

隨著我在 Women With A Vision

and as I continued to be active in the Movement for Black Lives,

對於生殖正義有更多了解，

I found myself wanting others to see and feel these similarities.

並隨著我持續進行 黑人命也是命相關活動，

I found myself asking:

我越發現我自己希望他人 能看見並感受到這些相似之處。

Whose job is it in times like this

我發現自己在問：

to connect ideas realities and people?

在這樣的時刻，該由誰將想法、

I want to dedicate this talk and that poem

現實，與人連結在一起？

to Constance Malcolm.

我想將這場演講和那首詩

She is the mother of Ramarley Graham

獻給康絲坦斯馬爾康。

who was another Black child

她是拉馬利格拉漢的母親，

who was murdered before their time.

格拉漢是另一位命還不該絕

She reminded me once over dinner,

卻被殺害的黑人孩童。

as I was struggling to write that poem,

她讓我想起，有次晚餐時，

that it is the artist's job

我絞盡腦汁在寫那首詩，

to unearth stories that people try to bury

藝術家的工作

with shovels of complacency and time.

就是要發掘故事， 即使人們試圖用

Recently,

自滿與時間的鏟子來埋藏它們。

Toni Morrison wrote,

最近，

"In times of dread,

托妮莫里森寫道：

artists must never choose to remain silent.

「在懼怕的時代，

There is no time for self-pity,

藝術家永遠不能選擇保持沈默。

no room for fear."

沒有自憐的時間，

Yesterday, during rehearsal,

沒有恐懼的空間。」

when I was told that I should

昨天，在彩排的時候，

"maybe cut the Black Lives Matter portion from my talk,"

當有人告訴我說我應該

I found myself fearful for a moment.

「也許刪減一些我的演說中 關於黑人命也是命的內容」，

Fearful that again our stories were being denied

我發現自己在那一瞬間感到害怕。

the very stages they deserve to be told on.

害怕我們的故事會再次被拒絕，

And then I remembered the words I had just spoken.

在應該要講述這些故事的 舞台上被拒絕。

"In times of dread,

接著，我記起了我剛說的話。

artists must never choose to remain silent.

「在懼怕的時代，

There is no time for self-pity.

藝術家永遠不能選擇保持沈默。

(Applause)

沒有自憐的時間。」

There is no time for self-pity.

（掌聲）

And no room for fear."

「沒有自憐的時間。

And I have made my choice.

沒有恐懼的空間。」

And I am always choosing.

而我已經做出了我的選擇。

Thank you.

我一直在選擇。

(Applause)

謝謝。