Here's a little story about my life.

這是一個我人生的小故事

So my mom's from a little farm town

我的母親來自一個做起司的

where they make cheese,

農村小鎮

and my dad is from Iran,

而我的父親來自伊朗,

and I was born when they were in their early twenties.

他們二十幾歲的時候生下我

During an earthquake,

那是有一場地震

it was bringing down the city of San Francisco actually,

舊金山市都快垮了

which is where I live now,

也就是我現在住的地方,

but I was being born over in Utah.

但我是在猶他州出生的

When I was 2 years old, we moved our butts to Portland, Oregon.

當我2歲的時候,我們搬到了奧勒岡州的波特蘭

My mom had a daycare, and one time,

我媽媽在托兒所工作，有一次

one of these snot-nosed brats that she took care of

有個她照顧的乳臭未乾的臭小子

decided: "Hey, I can go throw a swing at this little baby's face!"

決定:"嘿,我要把鞦韆丟到這小寶寶的臉上!"

Until I was 7 or 8, I had black teeth.

直到我7, 8歲時，我的牙齒都是黑色的

I was pretty nerdy growing up,

我在成長中是個十足的書呆子,

I really loved libraries, I thought they were like magical castles.

我真的很愛圖書館，我覺得它們像是魔法城堡一樣

It was always cold and rainy in Portland,

波特蘭總是又冷又常下雨,

so being inside the library was like this cosy little retreat.

所以在圖書館裡就像個舒適的小避難所

When I was maybe like 10,

當我大概10歲的時候,

I discovered the sex aisle!

我發現了放關於性的書區!

I was so fascinated, I couldn't stop myself.

我真的著迷以至於無法自拔

I wanted to know about penises and vaginas.

我想知道關於陰莖和陰道的事情

And then, one Sunday,

然後,在一次星期天,

a leader of the church asked me if I think about sex.

教會的引導人問我是不是在想性的事情,

I was like: "How does he know?!"

我就在想"你怎麼知道?!"

And I told him "no", and I felt so bad that I had lied!

我跟他說「沒有」，然後為了我的謊而感到很糟糕！

So when I was 12, we moved to California for my dad's job,

當我12歲時,我們為了爸爸的工作搬到加州

I had to leave behind all my friends,

我必須拋下我所有的朋友

and I started spending more time at church actually in California,

我在加州的時候花了很多時間在教堂

because, it felt like I had a community and I felt less alone.

因為這樣讓我感覺我是一個社區的一部分，讓我沒有那麼寂寞

I was very involved. A good little child.

我當時非常的投入,真是個好小孩

But, as I got older, I was like:

但當我年紀漸長後我就像

"I don't know about this"

''我不確定這件事要不要繼續做下去''

So while I was learning how to cook

所以當我學著如何做菜

and to sow and to craft and to babysit,

去播種去做手工藝和去照顧小孩

my male friends, they were becoming leaders in the church.

我的男性朋友們,他們變成了教會的領導者

So I asked one of my teachers:

於是我問其中一個導師

"Why can't I be a leader, dude?"

''老兄,為什麼我不能當個領導者?''

And she told me God wanted me to have a different special job,

而她告訴我神希望我能有一個與眾不同的工作,

having lots of babies,

有很多小孩,

which I was really unhappy about,

這讓我很不開心

cause I didn't want to have babies.

因為我不想要有小孩

So I got involved in theater, pretty into that,

所以我開始接觸戲劇,非常投入,

singing and dancing and acting,

唱歌跳舞和演戲,

and my mom had her ownů has her own theater company.

然後我媽有了她自己...有了她自己的戲劇公司

And I was also developing this turbulent relationship with the church

我也開始在教堂發展開這段混亂的關係

which was a big part of my life.

這是我人生中重要的部分

I started to feel like the church was

我開始覺得教堂

actually not what I used to think it was.

實際上不像我想的那樣

And I left and I felt free, and yet I also felt really alone.

於是我離開了而感到自由，也同時感覺很孤獨

So I began to search for my purpose.

所以我開始尋找我的目標

Soon I found myself crying all the time.

很快的我發現自己不斷的哭泣

I felt hopeless, I felt empty,

我感到無助又空虛

and I really thought a lot about killing myself,

我真的很想結束自己的生命

I cut my arms and I popped pills

我割碗又吞藥

and I slept a lot to get away from it all.

然後用睡覺去逃避這一切

My mom and dad were really scared.

我媽媽和爸爸真的被嚇到了

They took me to a therapist.

他們帶我去就醫

She really coached me through my depression,

她真的引領我渡過了我的意志消沉

she helped my figure out how I could graduate high school early,

她幫我想起為什麼我能提早從高中畢業,

and at 15, I got my diploma,

我在十五歲的時候就拿到了學位,

and then I popped my little booty off to college.

然後我就去上大學了

College! Woohoo!

大學!嗚呼~!

Parties and craziness, right?

派對和瘋狂,對吧?

No, actually, wrong.

不,大錯特錯

I did say I was nerdy,

我剛剛說過我是個書呆子,

I didn't really party a lot,

我真的沒有去狂歡

I kinda kept to myself, I lived alone,

我總是讓自己保持孤獨

and I liked it that way.

而且我喜歡這樣

College was where I found myself.

大學讓我找到了自己

I became very politically active,

我變得非常政治狂熱,

participated in my first protest,

參與了我的第一場抗議,

I became a certified rape and dating violence counselor,

我變成一個認證過的強暴與約會暴力的顧問,

I started a bunch of sexual health programs at alternative high schools,

我開始在非傳統的高中上一些性健康的課程,

which is where they send teen moms,

那裡是他們送年輕媽媽去的地方,

and I was also diligently posting Sex+ every Saturday.

而我在每週六都會用心刊載Sex+

And I was really driven to use the Internet as a platform

我也開始用網路當作平台

to have conversations with people

去與人們談談

about the things that I thought were important in the world.

一些我認為對世界重要的事

In my senior year, I met my baby.

在我大三的那年我遇到了我的寶貝

I can neither confirm nor deny that I fell in love.

我沒辦法確認或否認我到底是不是陷入愛河

I graduated in 2011.

我畢業於2011年

And then I had to do this really scary thing

然後我要做這件非常令人恐懼的事

called being a grown-upů

叫做長大

My first job was working for Planned Parenthood making videos

我的第一份工作是製作有關規劃親子關係影片

which, when they offered it to me,

當他們給我工作的那一刻

I just felt like I had one life and everything.

我就好像得到了生命中的全部

I was working on Sex+ and I started speaking at universities

我在Sex+的運行和開始在大學中發聲

and participating in documentaries

以及參與了紀錄片

and eventually started working for Discovery as well,

最後也在Discovery工作

making science videos for them,

幫他們製作了科學影片

and here I am!

然後這就是我!

I am a happy person and a stable person,

我是一個又開心又堅定的人

I know what I want in life,

我知道我在我的一生中想要什麼

although I'm not really sure how best to get it.

雖然我不確定那是不是最好的方式

If there's anything I've learned from the past,

如果有什麼是我在過去中學到的

it's that you have to hold on to what you believe in,

那就是你要把握住你所相信的

and that you have to stay flexible,

並且要保持彈性,

and just take each day one at a time.

把握每天的每一個當下

Find what makes you happy,

找到能讓你開心的事情

and just hold on like your life depends on it,

把握住就像你靠它支撐你人生一樣

because, at least for me, it did.

因為,至少我是,它做到了

So thanks for joining me, guys,

謝謝你們加入我

if you made this far, well, you're amazing.

如果你讓它遙遠,好吧,你真令人驚奇

And I hope to have another Sex+ video up for you

我希望我能獻給你另一部Sex+的影片

as soon as I can.

越快越好

Love love, bye bye.

愛你們，拜拜