I'm honored by the invitation, and thanks.

我非常高興來到這裡。

I would love to talk about stuff that I'm interested in,

受到邀請我感到非常榮幸，謝謝。

but unfortunately, I suspect that what I'm interested in

我想談論一些我感興趣的事情，

won't interest many other people.

但遺憾的是我猜測大多數的人，

First off, my badge says I'm an astronomer.

不會對這些事情感興趣。

I would love to talk about my astronomy,

首先，識別證上說我是位天文學家。

but I suspect that the number of people who are interested in radiative transfer

我很想談論我的天文學，

in non-gray atmospheres

不過我懷疑對輻射轉移、

and polarization of light in Jupiter's upper atmosphere

非灰色大氣層、

are the number of people who'd fit in a bus shelter.

和木星上層大氣層的光偏振感興趣的人數

So I'm not going to talk about that.

是不是足夠塞滿一整個公車候車站。

(Laughter)

所以，我不打算去談那些。

It would be just as much fun

（笑聲）

to talk about some stuff that happened in 1986 and 1987,

有件值得一提的趣事，

when a computer hacker is breaking into our systems

一件發生在1986和1987的事情，

over at Lawrence Berkeley Labs.

當時有個電腦駭客正在入侵我們的電腦系統

And I caught the guys,

嘗試駭進我們在羅倫斯‧柏克萊（Lawrence Berkeley）的實驗室。

and they turned out to be working for what was then the Soviet KGB,

然後我抓到了那些人，

and stealing information and selling it.

發現原來他們正在替前蘇聯國家安全委員會（情報單位）工作，

And I'd love to talk about that -- and it'd be fun --

他們竊取資料，並兜售它們。

but, 20 years later ...

我很想說說那件事情──而且一定會很有趣──

I find computer security, frankly, to be kind of boring.

但是，20年後‧‧‧

It's tedious.

我發現電腦安全這個領域，老實說，有點無聊。

I'm --

非常的乏善可陳。

The first time you do something, it's science.

我‧‧‧

The second time, it's engineering.

當你第一次做一件事情的時候，它就像是一門科學。

A third time, it's just being a technician.

第二次做時，它就變成了一項工程。

I'm a scientist. Once I do something, I do something else.

第三次時，你就只是個技術員。

So, I'm not going to talk about that.

我是一位科學家。當我正在著手一件事情時，我已經在想下一件事情了。

Nor am I going to talk about what I think are obvious statements from my first book,

所以，我不打算去談那些。（關於駭客的事情）

"Silicon Snake Oil," or my second book,

我也不會去談論那些在我第一本書（Silicon Snake Oil）裡頭我認為很明顯的論點，

nor am I going to talk about

或者我的第二本書，

why I believe computers don't belong in schools.

我也不會去說明

I feel that there's a massive and bizarre idea going around

為什麼我會堅持電腦不應該出現在校園。

that we have to bring more computers into schools.

我覺得有個具有巨大影響力且奇怪的想法正在蔓延

My idea is: no! No!

那就是我們要在學校中設立更多電腦。

Get them out of schools, and keep them out of schools.

我的想法是：錯！錯！

And I'd love to talk about this,

讓那些電腦遠離學校，讓它們離校園遠遠的。

but I think the argument is so obvious to anyone who's hung around a fourth grade classroom

雖然我會想討論這個議題，

that it doesn't need much talking about --

不過我認為我的論點對於任何一個上過小學四年級的人來說，是如此明顯的

but I guess I may be very wrong about that,

以至於我不需要過多的描述──

and everything else that I've said.

不過我猜想我在這上面的觀點可能是錯的離譜，

So don't go back and read my dissertation.

甚至我以上所說的可能全都是錯的。

It probably has lies in it as well.

所以也不需要回頭去讀我的論文。

Having said that, I outlined my talk about five minutes ago.

也許當中也有著錯誤的訊息。

(Laughter)

說到這，剛剛五分鐘前我把我的演說列了幾個項目。

And if you look at it over here,

（笑聲）

the main thing I wrote on my thumb was the future.

然後假如你看這裡，

I'm supposed to talk about the future, yes?

寫在我大拇指上，最重要的東西未來。

Oh, right. And my feeling is, asking me to talk about the future is bizarre,

我應該要討論一下未來，對嗎？

because I've got gray hair,

噢，對。我的感覺是，要我去談論未來會有點奇怪。

and so, it's kind of silly for me to talk about the future.

因為我已經滿頭白髮了，

In fact, I think that if you really want to know what the future's going to be,

所以對我來說，要我去討論未來是一件很蠢的事情。

if you really want to know about the future,

事實上，我認為如果你真的想知道未來會變成什麼樣，

don't ask a technologist, a scientist, a physicist.

如果你真的想要知道關於未來的一切，

No! Don't ask somebody who's writing code.

不要去問工程師、科學家、物理學家。

No, if you want to know what society's going to be like in 20 years,

不！不要去問那些寫程式碼的傢伙。

ask a kindergarten teacher.

如果你想知道20年後的社會會變成什麼樣子，

They know.

去問幼稚園老師。

In fact, don't ask just any kindergarten teacher,

他們知道。

ask an experienced one.

事實上，也不要隨便抓一個幼稚園老師來問。

They're the ones who know what society is going to be like in another generation.

問有經驗的幼稚園老師。

I don't. Nor, I suspect,

他們就是那個知道下一代的社會會變成什麼樣子的人。

do many other people who are talking about what the future will bring.

不是我，我猜測也不會是那些，

Certainly, all of us can imagine these cool new things

那些在談論未來會變怎樣的人。

that are going to be there.

當然啦，我們所有人都可以想像這些超酷的新事物

But to me, things aren't the future.

那些將要出現的新事物。

What I ask myself is, what's society is going to be like,

但是對我來說，新事物並不等於未來。

when the kids today are phenomenally good at text messaging

我問我自己的是，當現今的小孩們厲害熟練地傳著簡訊

and spend a huge amount of on-screen time,

並且花很多時間待在電腦螢幕前，

but have never gone bowling together?

卻從未一起去打過保齡球，

Change is happening, and the change that is happening

未來將會變成什麼樣？

is not one that is in software.

改變正在發生，而且那些正在發生的改變

But that's not what I'm going to talk about.

不是存在於電腦軟體裡的那些。

I'd love to talk about it, it'd be fun,

但是那不是我要說的。

but I want to talk about what I'm doing now. What am I doing now?

我很想要講那個，那樣一定會很有趣，

Oh -- the other thing that I think I'd like to talk about

但是我想要說說關於我正在做的事情，我正在做什麼？

is right over here. Right over here.

噢──另一件我想談論的事情

Is that visible? What I'd like to talk about is one-sided things.

在這裡。就在這裡。

I would dearly love to talk about

這樣可以看見嗎？我想說的是單向性的事物。

things that have one side.

我非常樂於談論這個

Because I love Mobius loops. I not only love Mobius loops,

這種單向性的事物。

but I'm one of the very few people,

因為我熱愛莫比烏斯（Mobius）循環。我不只是愛莫比烏斯循環，

if not the only person in the world, that makes Klein bottles.

我也是非常少數人當中，

Right away, I hope that all of your eyes glaze over.

如果世界上不是只有我的話，在製作克萊（Klein）瓶的人

This is a Klein bottle.

現在，我希望所有人的眼睛仔細看這邊。

For those of you in the audience who know,

這就是克萊瓶。

you roll your eyes and say, yup, I know all about it.

對知道克萊瓶的觀眾來說，

It's one sided. It's a bottle whose inside is its outside.

你會翻個白眼 然後說：對。我都知道。

It has zero volume. And it's non-orientable.

它是一個面的。它是一個內壁跟外壁是同一面的瓶子。

It has wonderful properties.

它沒有體積。而且它還是不可定向的。

If you take two Mobius loops and sew their common edge together,

它具有十分奇妙的特性。

you get one of these, and I make them out of glass.

假如你將兩個莫比烏斯循環的相同一邊接合起來，

And I'd love to talk to you about this,

你會得到我手裡的這個，我用玻璃做的。

but I don't have much in the way of ... things to say because --

我很高興可以談論這個，

(Laughter)

但是這個...我沒有什麼事情可以多說 因為──

(Chris Anderson: I've got a cold.)

（笑聲）

However, the "D" in TED of course stands for design.

（Chris Anderson：我有感冒耶！）

Just two weeks ago I made --

然而，「TED」中的「D」正是代表設計。

you know, I've been making small, medium and big Klein bottles for the trade.

兩個星期前我剛做了──

But what I've just made --

你知道的，我一直在做小型、中型還有大型的克萊瓶來販售。

and I'm delighted to show you, first time in public here.

不過我剛剛做了──

This is a Klein bottle wine bottle,

而且我很高興可以在這裡第一次公開展現給你們看。

which, although in four dimensions

這是一支克萊瓶的葡萄酒瓶，

it shouldn't be able to hold any fluid at all,

儘管在四維空間

it's perfectly capable of doing so

它沒辦法裝下任何液體，

because our universe has only three spatial dimensions.

但是它完全可以這麼做

And because our universe is only three spatial dimensions,

因為我們的宇宙只有三維空間。

it can hold fluids.

況且因為我們的空間只有三維空間，

So it's highly -- that one's the cool one.

所以它可以存放液體。

That was a month of my life.

所以它非常──它是比較酷的一個。

But although I would love to talk about topology with you, I'm not going to.

那可是花了我生命中的一個月。

(Laughter)

雖然我很想和你們分享拓撲學，但今天我不會。

Instead, I'm going to mention my mom,

（笑聲）

who passed away last summer.

相反地，我想要提一下我媽，

Had collected photographs of me, as mothers will do.

她去年夏天過世了。

Could somebody put this guy up?

就像所有母親會做的事情，她收集了我的照片。

And I looked over her album

有人可以把這個傢伙（投影機）打開嗎？

and she had collected a picture of me, standing --

我瀏覽她的相簿

well, sitting -- in 1969, in front of a bunch of dials.

她有收集了一張我的相片，站著──

And I looked at it, and said, oh my god,

嗯，坐著，在1969年，在一堆調節器前面。

that was me, when I was working at the electronic music studio!

然後我看著這張相片，我說：我的天，

As a technician, repairing and maintaining

這是我在電子音樂錄音室工作時候的照片！

the electronic music studio at SUNY Buffalo. And wow!

我當時是一個技師，負責維修和保養

Way back machine. And I said to myself, oh yeah!

那間電子音樂工作室在美國紐約州立大學水牛城分校。哇！

And it sent me back.

老舊的機器。然後我對自己說：噢 我想起來了！

Soon after that, I found in another picture that she had, a picture of me.

那張照片讓我的思緒回到那時。

This guy over here of course is me.

不久之後，我在我媽收集的另外一張相片裡發現我。

This man is Robert Moog,

在那邊的那個人正是我。

the inventor of the Moog synthesizer,

他是羅伯特‧馬各（Robert Moog），

who passed away this past August.

馬各合成器（Moog synthesizer）的發明者，

Robert Moog was a generous, kind person, extraordinarily competent engineer.

他去年八月過世了。

A musician who took time from his life to teach me,

羅伯特‧馬格是個慷慨、仁慈的人，除此之外，他還是個超群的工程師。

a sophomore, a freshman at SUNY Buffalo.

他還是個音樂家，他用他生命中很多的時間來教導我，

He'd come up from Trumansburg to teach me

教一個還在美國紐約州立大學水牛城分校念大一、大二的我。

not just about the Moog synthesizer, but we'd be sitting there --

他會專程從特魯曼斯堡（Trumansburg）來教我

I'm studying physics at the time. This is 1969, 70, 71.

不只是關於馬各合成器，我們就坐在那裏──

We're studying physics, I'm studying physics,

我當時在攻讀物理，那時候是1969年、70和71。

and he's saying, "That's a good thing to do.

我們一起研究物理，我還在攻讀物理的時候，

Don't get caught up in electronic music if you're doing physics."

他說：「那是件值得去做的事。

Mentoring me. He'd come up and

如果你要研究物理，就不要迷上電子音樂。」

spend hours and hours with me.

為了指導我，他每次來

He wrote a letter of recommendation for me to get into graduate school.

花無數個小時陪我。

In the background, my bicycle.

我進研究所的推薦信，也是他幫我寫的。

I realize that this picture was taken at a friend's living room.

在背景裡，我的腳踏車。

Bob Moog came by and hauled a whole pile of equipment

我才發現這張照片是在朋友的客廳照的。

to show Greg Flint and I things about this.

羅伯斯‧馬各帶著一大堆儀器來

We sat around talking about Fourier transforms,

為了向蓋瑞‧佛林特（Greg Flint ）和我展現這些東西。

Bessel functions, modulation transfer functions,

我們圍著圈坐，談論傅立葉變換（Fourier transforms）。

stuff like this.

貝索函數（Bessel functions）、調製轉換函數（modulation transfer functions），

Bob's passing this past summer has been a loss to all of us.

類似這樣的東西。

Anyone who's a musician has been profoundly influenced by Robert Moog.

對所有人來說，去年夏天羅伯斯‧馬各的死是一大損失。

(Applause)

任何音樂家都深深地被羅伯特‧馬各影響。

And I'll just say what I'm about to do. What I'm about to do --

（掌聲）

I hope you can recognize that there's a distorted sine wave,

我會說我要做什麼。我將要做的是──

almost a triangular wave upon this Hewlett-Packard oscilloscope.

我希望你們可以分辨出一種扭曲的正弦波（sine wave），

Oh, cool. I can get to this place over here, right?

在這個惠普示波器上，幾乎像是一個三角形的波纹。

Kids. Kids is what I'm going to talk about -- is that okay?

噢！酷！我可以換到這個話題了嗎？

It says kids over here, that's what I'd like to talk about.

孩子們。孩子們是我下一個話題──這樣跳可以嗎？

I've decided that, for me at least,

它說下一個就是孩子們了，那就是我下一個要說的話題了。

I don't have a big enough head.

我已經決定了，至少對我來說，

So I think locally and I act locally.

我沒有太多的創意點子。

I feel that the best way I can help out anything is to help out very, very locally.

所以我思考小地方，也從小地方著手。

So Ph.D. this, and degree there, and the yadda yadda.

我覺得我可以幫助任何小孩子的最好辦法就是幫助小區域的孩子，非常非常小的部份。

I was talking about this stuff to

所以不論是博士，還是任何學位，還是之類的。

some schoolteachers about a year ago.

大約一年前，我和一些學校老師

And one of them, several of them would come up to me and say,

討論了這個議題。

"Well, how come you ain't teaching?"

其中一位老師，一些老師過來跟我說，

And I said, "Well, I've taught graduate --

「嗯，你怎麼不試著教書呢？」

I've had graduate students, I've taught undergraduate classes."

我回答：「嗯，我以前教過研究生──

No, they said, "If you're so into kids and all this stuff,

我以前有教過研究生，我也教過大學生。」

how come you ain't over here on the front lines?

他們說：「不，如果你這麼熱衷於孩子的事情，

Put your money where you mouth is."

你怎麼還能夠不去站在教育的最前線呢？

Is true. Is true. I teach eighth-grade science four days a week.

不要說大話，身體力行吧！」

Not just showing up every now and then.

沒錯。沒錯。我一星期有四天在教國二學生理化。

No, no, no, no, no. I take attendance.

不光只是偶爾出現而已。

I take lunch hour. (Applause)

不，不，不，不，不！我上課要點名的。

This is not -- no, no, no, this is not claps.

我還有午休時間。（掌聲）

I strongly suggest that this is a good thing for each of you to do.

這不是──不，不，不，不需要為我鼓掌。

Not just show up to class every now and then.

這是件好事，我強烈建議你們所有人去做。

Teach a solid week. Okay, I'm teaching three-quarters time, but good enough.

不只光只是偶爾出席課堂而已。

One of the things that I've done for my science students

一整個星期扎實地教學。嗯，一星期我有四分之三的時間在教書，但已經夠好了。

is to tell them, "Look, I'm going to teach you college-level physics.

我為了我理化課學生做的其中一件事情是

No calculus, I'll cut out that.

告訴他們：「聽著！我打算要教你們大學程度的物理了。

You won't need to know trig.

不會有微積分，我會把那部份拿掉。

But you will need to know eighth-grade algebra,

你也不需要知道三角函數。

and we're going to do serious experiments.

但是你需要懂得國二的代數，

None of this open-to-chapter-seven-and-do-all-the-odd-problem-sets.

然後我們就要做真正的實驗。

We're going to be doing genuine physics."

不會是『翻開第七章，做所有奇數的習題。』

And that's one of the things I thought I'd do right now.

我們將要做的是真正的物理。」

(High-pitched tone)

接下來我要做的是，我帶他們做過的實驗中的一項。

Oh, before I even turn that on,

（高音頻）

one of the things that we did about three weeks ago in my class --

噢！在我打開之前，

this is through the lens, and one of the things we used a lens for

三個星期前，我在課程上做過一件事情──

was to measure the speed of light.

透鏡的其中一向用途是：透過透鏡，

My students in El Cerrito -- with my help, of course,

去測量光速。

and with the help of a very beat up oscilloscope --

在愛瑟利托（El Cerrito )高中的學生，在我的協助下，

measured the speed of light.

和非常老舊的示波器幫助下，

We were off by 25 percent. How many eighth graders do you know of

測量光速。

who have measured the speed of light?

雖然我們的實驗有25%的誤差，但就你所知

In addition to that, we've measured the speed of sound.

有多少國二生測量過光速？

I'd love to measure the speed of light here.

除此之外，我們還測量過音速。

I was all set to do it and I was thinking, "Aw man,"

我想現在就測量光速給你們看。

I was just going to impose upon the powers that be,

我早就準備好一切測量的儀器，我想：「哇！老天。」

and measure the speed of light.

我只是想不斷加強這方面的能力，

And I'm all set to do it. I'm all set to do it,

來測量光速。

but then it turns out that to set up here, you have like 10 minutes to set up!

我已經都準備好了。我已經都準備好了。

And there's no time to do it.

但是要把儀器在這裡設好，大該需要十分鐘！

So, next time, maybe, I'll measure the speed of light!

現在沒有這個時間。

But meanwhile, let's measure the speed of sound!

所以，下次，也許吧，我會測量光速給你們看！

Well, the obvious way to measure the speed of sound

不過現在，讓我們來測量音速吧！

is to bounce sound off something and look at the echo.

嗯，要測量音速最簡單的方法

But, probably -- one of my students, Ariel [unclear], said,

是讓聲音反彈，然後測量它的回音。

"Could we measure the speed of light using the wave equation?"

不過，也可能──我有一個學生，艾里爾（Ariel）說：

And all of you know the wave equation is

「我們可以用波的公式來測量光速嗎？」

the frequency times the wavelength of any wave ...

你們都知道的波的公式是：

is a constant. When the frequency goes up,

頻率乘以任何波的波長…

the wavelength comes down. Wavelength goes up,

會得到一個常數。當頻率升高，

frequency goes down. So, if we have a wave here --

波長就會變短。波長變長，

over here, that's what's interesting --

頻率就會下降。所以如果我們有一個波──

as the pitch goes up, things get closer,

看這裡，那是之所以有趣的地方──

pitch goes down, things stretch out.

當音調升高，波紋就會變的集中，

Right? This is simple physics.

當音調降低，波紋就會分散。

All of you know this from eighth grade, remember?

不是嗎？這是簡單的物理。