MY FIRST GUEST IS AN ACADEMY AWARD-NOMINATED ACTRESS, SINGER

AND NOW AUTHOR.

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW THE LOVELY ANNA KENDRICK.

♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> HI, GUYS!

>> Stephen: IT'S SO NICE TO YOU HAVE HERE.

>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME BACK!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S HOW I FEEL!

EERRGGH!

>> Stephen: PEOPLE LOVE ANNA KENDRICK.

>> I FEEL LIKE JOY COMES AT ME IN RAGE WAVES RIGHT NOW, SO I

TOTALLY GOT THAT.

ALL OF MY EMOTIONS ARE REALLY CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

EVERYTHING'S JUST KIND OF MIXED UP.

BUT IT FEELS KIND OF GOOD, I THINK.

>> Stephen: UH-HUH.

>> I'VE BEEN, LIKE, MEASURE AGO I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE DOING.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

>> Stephen: OFFICIALLY, GREAT.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

( LAUGHTER ) ME, TOO.

GREAT OFFICIALLY.

BUT -- >> YOU ARE A RAY OF SUNSHINE

PROFESSIONALLY.

>> OH THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: PEOPLE ARE HAPPY WHEN THEY SEE YOU.

>> THAT'S SO SWEET.

THAT WOULD BE NICE.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE HAPPY TO SEE ANNA KENDRICK, AREN'T YOU?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: EXACTLY!

HOW ARE YOU COPING?

WHAT ARE YOUR COPING MECHANISMRIGHT NOW?

>> COPE-- I'VE BASICALLY BEEN MEASURING MY PROGRESS IN, LIKE,

I'VE BEEN CRYING A LITTLE LESS EACH DAY.

>> Stephen: THAT'S COOL.

>> I KNOW THAT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I CRY IN

MOVIES.

I HAVE BEEN GOING FROM CRYING TO LAUGHING AND LAUGHING TO CRYING

SO EVERYBODY IS MIXED UP.

>> Stephen: YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE MED MIX QUITE RIGHT?

>> I WAS TRYING TO OPEN A BOTTLE.

I COULDN'T GET A BOTTLE OPENED THIS MORNING, AND I HAD THIS

THOUGHT, AND I WAS LIKE, "I GUESS I REALLY DO NEED A MAN

PRESIDENT."

AND THEN I LAUGHED TO MYSELF AND THEN STARTED CRYING AND THEN

LAUGHED.

>> Stephen: THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO GET THROUGH LIFE.

>> AT LEAST I THINK I'M REALLY FUNNY.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: THANKSGIVING IS COMING UP.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU HAVING THANKSGIVING?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: THAT CAN BE A TIME AFTER THE ELECTION WHEN THERE

CAN BE SOME TENSION?

>> THERE'S NOTHING THEY KNOW OF.

BUT WE'VE GOT ONE ROGUE UNCLE.

I THINK EVERY FAMILY HAS THAT ONE GUY LIKE, WHAT, DID YOU DO?

OH!

WHAT DID YOU DO?" >> Stephen: HE COMES IN AND

GOES, "HOW YOU DOING?" >> IT MAY BE INTERESTING.

>> Stephen: DON'T CRY IN FRONT OF HIM.

>> I'M DO WHAT I WANT!

I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT!

NO, THAT'S WHAT I MEAN I'M PRO RAGE, JOY, AND OPEN CRYING.

I LOVE IT.

>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, YOU'RE SCRAPPY?

>> OH, THAT'S A SEGUE TO MY BOOK.

THAT'S SWEET.

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING.

I SEGUED TO HER BOOK AND YOU GUYS DIDN'T EVEN FEEL IT.

THE BOOK IS CALLED-- OOPS, SORRY.

>> UNPROFESSIONAL!

>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED "SCRAPPY LITTLE NOBODY," RIGHT

THERE.

NOW, DID YOU PUT THAT TITLE ON THERE?

>> TOW TRY AND SEEM REAL HUMBLE.

"OH, ME.

OH, SHUCKS, Y'ALL.

LITTLE OLD ME."

>> Stephen: YOU'RE AN ACADEMY-NOMINATED ACTRESS,

EVERYBODY LIKES YOU.

HOW ARE YOU A NOBODY?

>> I WAS HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH MY BROTHER AND

THINKITHINKING ABOUT MOVING TO L AND TRYING TO BECOME AN ACTRESS.

AND I WAS LIKE WAS I MORE EYE TEXTED HIM AND I WAS LIKE, "I

THINK I MISS BEING THIS, SCRAPPY LITTLE NOBODY, AND I THINK I WAS

MORE CAPABLE THEN."

HE WAS LIKE, "DUDE, YOU'RE STILL SCRAEP.

YOU GET MORE E-MAIL NOW."

AND I THINK THE TITLE IS WANTING TO HOLD ON TO THAT GUY, WANTING

TO HOLD ON TO THE RAGE JOY.

>> Stephen: THIS IS YOUR MEMOIR.

HOW DOES ONE AT YOUR AGE WRITE A MEMOIR?

( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN, WHEN--

>> WELL, I'M DONE NOW.

>> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TO LOOK BACK ON YET,

DO YOU?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: YOU'VE ACHIEVED A LOT BUT YOU'RE ONLY 31 YEARS

OLD.

>> I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO WRITE DOWN ALL

THE WEIRD THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD AND FIND OUT IF PEOPLE STILL

LIKED ME.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: YOU DO TALK ABOUT SOME STUFF IN HERE.

YOU SAY-- IT'S VERY PERSONAL REVELATION IN HERE THAT I DON'T

KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE REVEALED.

>> UH-HUH...

>> Stephen: YOU GOT TO PICK YOUR OWN BUTT DOUBLE.

>> OH, YEAH.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU NEED

THE BUTT DOUBLE FOR?

WAS THIS JUST FOR BUYING JEANS?

>> IT WAS JUST FOR FUN.

>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THE PROJECT?

>> IT WAS FOR "MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATE."

AND THERE WAS A SCENE WHERE THEY SHOW HALF OF THE BUTT, AND I GOT

A BUTT DOUBLE EYE DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT WAS GOING TO WORK.

BUT THEY BRING YOU THIS FOLDER OF POLAROIDS.

( LAUGHTER ) OF, LIKE, NAKED WOMEN.

I FELT SO CREEPY.

I FELT LIKE A SERIAL KILLER.

AND I WAS-- AND THEY-- AND THEY PHOTOGRAPHED THEM FROM THE

FRONT, FOR NO REASON AT ALL, OTHER THAN TO MAKE ME FEEL

WEIRD.

>> Stephen: JUST IN CASE YOU WANTED A FRONT DOUBLE.

>> I GUESS.

IF I WANTED TO SPIN AROUND, IF THAT WAS WHAT MY CHARACTER WOULD

DO.

I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST--" I REALIZED I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY BUTT LOOKS LIKE

BECAUSE IT'S BEHIND ME.

SO I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW.

AND I WAS LIKE, "I THINK THIS ONE LOOKS GOOD."

AND THE PRODUCER WAS LIKE, "HER BUTT'S A LITTLE SQUARE."

AND I WAS LIKE, "DO I HAVE A SQUARE BUTT?

IS THAT A THING BUTTS CAN BE?" >> Stephen: DID YOU COMPARE IT

LATER, COMPARE YOUR BUTT TO THIS PERSON'S BUTT?

NO, EVEN IF YOU ARE LOOKIN LOOKI MIRROR YOU'RE TWISTING AROUND.

>> Stephen: DO YOU OWN AN IPHONE OR ARE YOU THE ONE

PERSON IN HOLLYWOOD-- >> I THINK IT WOULD BE A BAD

IDEA TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MY BUTT.

>> Stephen: MAYBE SO.

>> I EXPECT IT -- >> WHAT WAS YOUR CRITERIA?

HIGHWAY DID YOU FINALLY LAND ON THE BUTT?

>> BASICALLY, THEY WERE LIKE, WELL, ALL OF THESE GIRLS ARE TOO

TALL AND TOO TAN, SO REALLY IT HAS TO BE THIS ONE, SHORT, PALE

GIRL.

I WAS LIKE SO I JUST SAW ALL THESE NAKED WOMEN FOR NOTHING.

I MEAN, NOT FOR NOTHING, IT WAS GREAT, BUT --

>> OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY, RIGHT.

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BOOK OF POLAROIDS?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.

>> Stephen: I'M CURIOUS.

I WOULDN'T LEAVE THAT LAYING AROUND.

>> I'M GOING TO FIND OUT.

OH, GOD.

WHAT DOES HAPPEN?

NOW, I'M REALLY CONCERNED.

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.

BUT, SPEAKING OF NINGZ THAT ARE SLIGHTLY DISTURBING?

>> OH, GREAT.

>> Stephen: I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO HOLD OFF ON THIS ONE UNTIL WE

COME BACK FROM THE COMMERCIAL BREAK.

>> WHAT!

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOMETHING SLIGHTLY

DISTURBING FROM ANNA KENDRICK.