'PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS'

《絕地求生》！

Well it must be a great game then!! ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

那一定是一個好遊戲( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

it's the worst fucking game i've ever fucking play- (`皿´＃)

這是我玩過最tm垃圾的遊戲！！(`皿´＃)

so the goal of the game... is out of a 100 people to be the last man standing on this fucking island.

Pewds玩絕地求生

alright, here we go.

所以這遊戲的主旨是成為100人當中最後一個在這tm的荒島生存的人

give me a gun

好啦，我們進去了

oh shit

快給我一把槍

oh shit

噢糟糕...

no shit (giggle)

喔糟糕!

don't shoot! D:

哈哈，去你的!

don't shoot, i'm innocent (ಥ﹏ಥ)

不要射我！D:

I'M INNOCENT!!

不要射，我是無辜的 (ಥ﹏ಥ)

I JUST WANNA HUG YOUUUUUUU

我是無辜的！！

this fucking time I'm gonna fucking do it.

我只是想抱一抱你～！

what the fuck is that? ._.

第2次嘗試

*pewds ded*

這次我tm一定要成功

*silence*

這是三小？

are you kIDDING M-

*墮車死亡*

you guys come here often? ;)

開什麼玩笑！？

no? :\

第3次嘗試

is that MARKIPLIER?!

你們常來嗎？

OHMAGERD

不是喔？

how do i look?

那是Markiplier嗎！？

OH MY GOOOOOOOO~!

歐賣葛！

here we go

那我長得什麼樣？

owp

喔喔賣葛～！

shit shIT SHIT

我們走~

Oh come on I was reaching for my cornflakes :( C'mon

喔

*laughs*

靠靠靠

Meme 2017 xD

*敵人：拜託，我只想拿些玉米片... 不是吧 :( *

*corn flake package crinkles*

*敵人苦笑*

HHHHHHHHH

*玉米片的包裝聲*

what have I DONE?

*無聲的笑*

I'm so sorry *chuckles*

我幹了些什麼？

*another one for Pewds*

真的很對不起*哈哈*

i got nothing i have nothing

第4次嘗試

don-

我什麼都沒有，什麼都沒有

stop!

不－

this is the fucking one.

*第5次嘗試* 停啊！

*rapid gunfire*

*第6次嘗試* tm就是的這次啦

hehe yeah hehe

嘻嘻( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

*rapid gunfires again*

搞定

got 'em!

噢

Oh

噢噢噢噢

OOOOOOOOOO

我連前三十名也不到

*hipfire god*

第7次嘗試 好的

I never even got to fucking top 30

咱們走~

Alright.

*盡量不剪輯* 簡單

Here we go.

這遊戲真簡單

Easy.

我就不客氣的竊爆這些tm的瑞典小村啦

This game is easy.

好啦我們拿這些

Just going to loot these Swedish fucking homes

給我，全都給我

There we go I'll take that shit

我剛才看見一群人在那邊降落

gimme that. gimme that shit boi

我真的打算就這樣衝過去

*loads shotgun*

噢*第一發*

I saw a bunch of people land over here

噢我殺了他啦？

I'm literally gonna rush him

這散彈槍的射程真遠啊，老兄

00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,380 Oh *fires shotgun*

搞定！

Oh I killed him?

你的東西我要了喔，非常感謝你喔(ー_ー )

Fucking range on the shotgun, man

這就對啦，謝謝！謝謝你啦！

GOTTEM

我還是要衝過去

I'll be taking all your shit, thank you very much (ー_ー )

一定有人在這裡

That's right thank you- thank you very much

噢幹！

I'm still gonna rush him

我能聽到那混蛋

Oh there's definitely someone in here

他在樓上？

Oh shit

對

I can hear that fucker

幹

Is he upstairs?

tm的，幹，屁

Yee

去你的

*initiate Pro Pewds combat system*

他在搞啥？

Fuck

我就，我就額...在這裡...檢查一下我的電郵，不用擔心

Shit. Fuck. Ass.

就是額...要確定一下

Ass fuck. *shit*

萬事俱備

What's he doing?

這不是在蹲坑

I'm just gonna- just gonna check uh- my emails down here don't worry about it

這是額...確保樓梯是安全的

Just uh, making sure

你知道的，有些人就是不會打掃乾淨嘛

Everything's fine

我這次玩完啦

This is NOT camping

噢幹噢幹

This is uh- making sure that staircase is safe *pussy*

他在等我

You never know, lot of people forget to clean out

請不要傷害我

I'm so fucked *scared*

我是瑞典人啊

*grenade* Σ(O_O)

我應該弄到他想殺我

*grenade blasts*

我不是在蹲坑，閉...閉你tm的嘴

Oh shit oh shit

只是想確定一下

He's waiting for me

他有機會從窗臺跳走

PLEASE DON'T HURT MEE

耶！哈哈哈

I'M SWEDISH

看你能怎麼玩！哼！

I should prolly just make him wanna kill me

爆你tm的頭啊

I'm not camping, sht the- sht the fck up

差一點點就打到胸部

Just making sure

好啦，看看你身上有些什麼

He can jump off the balcony

這就對啦，我會拿這個，這個

*gasp*

這個，和這個，和...

YEAAA BOIII HAHAAaaa

為啥小他會有個煎鍋? *拿來做煎餅的，當然*

whatchu gonna do huh

*日文*多摩阿璃嘎多

roight in the fucking head

好的

almost at tittie

加上瞄准镜

Alright what do you got on you boi?

不行？那就算了

That's right i'll be taking this and this and this

看起來好像瑞典的小村莊，不是嗎？

and this and this and- and

好啦

he got a fucking frying pan? *for pancakes, 'f course*

走吧

Domo arigato

向世界出發

*swaps weapon*

噢幹！幹！不要射！

kay

不！哈哈他瞄不到我！

Scope up.

幹！他tm的在哪裡？

No? Alright well fuck it.

他在哪？

Looks like a swedish little village doesn't it?

他在那裡！我見到他了...看見了...看見了

Mkay

讓我狙擊了他

Let's go out

他不知道我看到了他

Out into the world

他在那裡！看！

*initiate pewds stealth mode*

SB

*distant gunfire*

ok我打中了一下

Oh shIT. SHIT. DON'T SHOOT

tm的！他逃去了哪裡？

DON'T. Well he can't fucking aim. *giggles*

我繞個圈子

Oh shit. WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?

希望他不要發現我

Where is he?

可能是一個蠢主意...他在哪裡？

There he is. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him

來呀！婊子！

I'll scope him out

OK

He doesn't know that I saw him

我想他藏起來了

There he is. Look at him

沒關係

Fucking kek

我能聞到他的恐懼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

*rapid gunshots*

這能力都在我的維京人血脈中

Okay I got one hit

噢他在屋子裡，他在屋子裡！

FUCK. Where'd he go?

我估計他知道我在外頭

I'm gonna go around

tm的看不到他

Hopefully he doesn't expect it

他一定聽見我了！

Might be a stupid fucking move where is he?

我不知道要tm的做些什麼，我該做什麼？

C'mon CUNT

他在這裡！ok, 好的！

'kay

好的！Pewds爸爸 過來找你喔！

I think he's hiding

你最好為我張開你的腿！

That's fine

因為我有把散彈槍

I can smell his fear ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

我真的不想現在就死

It's in my viking blood

好的，沒人

Oh he's in the building. He's in THE BUILDING

他大概聽見我了

I think he knows I'm outside

他在這裡？

Don't fucking see him tho

不

He must've heard me

去死啦！

I don't know what the fuck to do. What do I do?

死啦！

*le gasp*

耶！搞定！

There he is. Okay. Alright

tm的搞定！

Alright. Papa Pewds.. is coming for you boi

你被Poodiepie打趴了！

You better spread your ass for me boi

我要了這個

Cause I got a shotGUN

嘿你有紅牛

I don't wanna die now

多謝－噢新的防彈衣

Kay. Clear

好的我要了

He prolly heard me

噢，一條好褲

In here?

但是我穿不下

No

喔噢喔喔～！

*gaaasp* *shotgun blast*

更多的子彈

*another shotgun blast*

幹~我真的完全不知道-----

DIE

－方向在哪

*lookit his face*

我見到了些人...我想－

DIEE

我想我見到了

YEAH. GOTTEM

又在這屋子裡？

HELL yEAH

對一定有人在這裡頭

YOU Got FUCKED BY THE POODIEPIE

真麻煩，老兄( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I'll take this

你可以清晰的聽到腳踏木地板的聲音

Hey you got Redbull

他們在tm的樓上？

THANKY- OH A NEW VEST

幹，地圖在縮窄範圍，我要走了

Alright have that

但是我知道他在裡面

Oooh. Nice pants

噢－！

Not for me tho

啊幹－！

WHOOOOOOOOO!

我的天我的天我的天我的天

Moar ammo

我走了！我走了，不玩了，tm的不玩了

Fuck I don't know where

我會選擇我的戰場好嗎？我會tm的選戰場

Anything is

閉嘴

I saw someone. I th-

他看見我嗎？

I think I did

幹我們要走了

Is he in the building again?

要不然我們就要死了

Yes someone's definitely in the building

幹，你知道嗎？

Fuck me, man. *gladly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*

我還是要跑過去

You hear that wooden floor so well

叫我瑞典膽小鬼也好

Are they fucking upstairs?

*走音*

FUck. The map is getting smaller. I gotta move.

我不玩了，好不？

But I know he's in there

如果說我學到了些什麼，就是你要選擇自己的戰場來打，老兄

OH *brraapp*

再見了！混蛋！

Oh SH-

他可能還在找我

OMGOMGOMGOMG

混帳

I'M OUT. I'm out. I'm done. I'm fucking done

嘿嘿

I'll pick my battles alright? I'll pick my fucking battles

好啦，我們還有很多的路要跑

Shut the fuck up

幹我們離開太遠了

Did he see me?

天殺的！

Fuck we gotta move

噢靠

Otherwise we're gonna die

噢去你的！

Fuck. You know what?

去你的

I'm just gonna run for it

去你的

Call me a Swedish pussy *cause you are*

去你的

or a figget (probably faggot)

去你的

I'm out alright?

他在...?

If anything I've learned is that you gotta pick your battles, man

啊哈哈哈！

Sayonara mothafcka

他在tm的幹三小啊？

He's probably looking for me still

額哈哈哈

asshole

花惹發－

*giggle*

他看不見我嗎？

Alright, we got a lot of running to do

他就這樣停在我面前喔？

Fuck. We're so far away

噢我要這個和－啊啊謝謝

Gawd dammit

啊警察(防彈衣)

Oh shit.

噢看！很多子彈！

Oh shIT.

噗

Oh sHIT

那是啥小？

Oh SHIT

我的人物看起來很tm的智障

OH SHIT

好的謝謝你的車子啦朋友

OH SHIT

非常感謝

see?

哈哈

AHAHAHAHA

啊幹

WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING?

不

*laughs*

停啊

What the fu-

我不知道他是你的隊友

Did he not see me?

我tm的滾啦！

Did he just park in front of me?

不要再打我了！

Oh I'll take that and O-Oh thank you

我啥米都沒做啦

Ayy a police *?*

這感覺好像《戰慄時空》（遊戲）

Oh look how much ammo

記得你在駕駛著吉普車還是什麼的

pffff

然後看著飛逝的風景甚麼的

The fuck was that?

不過這次是真的

My character looks so fucking retarded *is he?*

這是現實世界

Alright well thanks for the car buddy

顛簸的路啊，老兄

Appreciate it

好啦，就在這裡休息一下

*laugh*

*下車擦傷*我的老天

Ah. Fuck.

好了我們又該移動了

No.

邊界

Stop.

活動邊界縮小啦

I didn't know he was your friend

OK

I'm fuckin outta here

我不知道我該往哪裡去

*distant gunfire*

噢！

STAHP SHOOTING MEEE

我應該－

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

額，算了

This feels a lot like Half Life

算了！

When you're driving that bungee or whatever

啊哈哈！

And like Russian landscapes or some shit

幹！

Except this is REAL

他在幹啥小阿？

This is real life

他長得像tm的《絕地要塞》裡的人物

I'm getting shaky, man

幹我還以為我會死在這裡

Alright. Let's chill here for a while

剛才太差勁啦

*character grunts* Oh for fucks sake

噢老天

Alright we gotta move again

這是我的墨鏡，婊子

Circle

好了又要走了

Circle's getting smaller

趕快回到白色圈子裡

'Kay

幹這也太小啦

I don't know where I should go

還有23個人生存中

OH

我要往那些屋子去

Should I-

啊啊

Eh, fuck it

拜託

FUCK IT

我想起碼當前十名

*maniacal laughter*

我就會滿足了

FUCK

我喜歡這策略

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING?

就這樣駕駛這吉普車逛

It was like a fucking Team Fortress character

ok

Fuck, I really thought I would die there

希望有些人會走過來

That was so fucking bad

噢

Jesus Christ *you need him*

太遠了

Those are my glasses bitch *roasted*

我還是保險些

Alright time to move again

這不是叫沒種

Gotta get back into the white circle ;)

這是叫－

Fuck it's small now ;);););)

－死基－開玩笑而已

There's 23 people alive

我的天

I'm gonna go to the buildings

聽到有人

Oomf

去你的

C'mon

去你的

I wanna make at top ten at least

去你的

Then I'll be happy

天殺的

I like this strategy

來吧－*手機響*手機你閉嘴

Just going around with a bungee

我不能死

Okay

我就是不能

Hopefully they'll come, some people from here

這不是在蹲坑

Oh

OK?

Too Far

閉嘴

I'm playing it safe *pussy*

我就是不想tm的死掉嘿嘿

It's not called being a pussy *yes it is*

幹，他去了哪兒？

It's called being-

他也逃了？

A faggo- I'm kidding *i doubt it poods*

他在這裡

For fucks sake

迪迪出來玩吧！

Here's someone *finally*

幹我瞄不准！

Fuck

天殺的

Shit

噢幹我要移動了

Fuck

喔靠

Goddamn it

噢幹

C'mo- Shut up phone

噢靠

I can't die now

幹，我該做些啥？

I just can't

噢，他在那裡，那裡！

IT'S NOT CAMPING *pussy*

瞄準！

Okay?

死吧

Shaddup

他在tm幹啥

I just don't wanna fucking die hehehe

我的天

Fuck. Where'd he go

為啥他還活著

Did he chicken out as well?

殺啊

There he is

幹

COME OUT AND PLAY BOI

不行我要眨眼，我戴了隱形眼鏡

FUCK I CAN'T AIM

靠

GODDAMN IT

OK我要走了

Oh fuck I gotta move

我有30秒

Oh shit

來吧小子

Oh fuck

還有7個人生存

Oh shit

我去拿我的車子

Fuck. What do I do?

還有什麼地方我tm的可以去？

Oh, there he is. There he is

我從來沒－還有6個人－

AIM

我從來沒有去到這個地步

DIIIIIEEEEE

天

The fuck is he doing? *what am I doing?*

殺

Oh my GAWD

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