This first is from @Erica Marasco.

第一則是 Erica Marasco 的推文

She said, "My husband said his diet was going really well.

她說：「我老公說他的減肥計劃進行得蠻好的

He butt-dialed me the next day and I could hear him ordering at the McDonald's drive-thru."

隔天他不小心撥電話給我，我就聽到他在麥當勞的得來速點餐的聲音」

Oh, I was getting my salad supersized, honey!

我正要點加大版的沙拉啊，親愛的！

This is @LanaBananaTime.

這是 LanaBananaTime 的推文

She says, " My dad once caught me smoking cigarettes behind our house.

她說：「我有一次在我們家後面抽菸被我爸抓到

He confiscated them, and then a week later my mom caught him smoking them behind our house."

他把我的菸沒收，然後一個禮拜後我媽抓到他在我們家後面抽他沒收的那包菸」

I learned of what to , dad.

我學到該怎麼做了，老爸

You ruined me.

你毀了我

Um... This one is from @rachel_winters.

這是 rachel_winters 的推文

She said, " A guy I had a crush on asked me out. After he asked, I forgot to hang up the phone before I screamed "YAYYY!"

她說：「我迷戀的男生約我出去，在他約我出去後，我忘記先掛電話再尖叫！」

-That's good. -Good. Embarrassing is cute.

-這很棒 -很棒，尷尬得很可愛

This one is from @ChrisPBacon...

這是 ChrisPBacon 的推文...

Now I got it.

我懂了

Wow, nice.

哇，真棒

This is from @ChrisPBaconJR.

這是 ChrisPBaconJR 的推文

-You got me. -Yeah, you got it.

-你懂我 -對，你懂

-Crispy Bacon. -Yeah

-脆皮培根 -對

Fantastic. Junior. -Yeah, junior.

太讚了，Junior -沒錯，Junior

-Junior -Like Carl's Jr.

-Junior -就像 Carl's Jr. (美國連鎖漢堡餐廳)

-I come number two. -Come number two?

-我要點二號餐 -點二號餐？

-Yeah -You, you like that?

-對 -你喜歡？

-No. -What are you doing?

-不 -那你在做什麼？

He says, "I was pulled over by police for a broken tail light.

他說：「我因為車尾燈壞掉而被警方臨檢

I told him I knew nothing about it, but then my wife kindly reminded me that I'd known about it for weeks."

我告訴警察我什麼都不知道，但我老婆親切地提醒我其實我早就知道好幾個禮拜了」

Thank you. Thank you so much, honey.

真是謝謝，非常謝謝你，親愛的

This one is from @_bluebyme

這是 _bluebyme 的推文

B-L-U-E.

B-L-U-E

Blue by me ?

我身旁的藍色？

-Blue by me? -Blue by me.

-我身旁的藍色？ -身旁的藍色

She says, "One time I had a bad day, but when my mom came in I was crying into the mirror to see if I looked cute when I cried or not."

她說：「有一天我心情很差，但當我對著鏡子，想要看我哭的時候可不可愛時，我媽就進來了」

-Put the mirror up and ... -Wear mascara. Yeah.

-把鏡子拿起來並且... -刷上睫毛膏吧！

Duck faces.

(註：duck faces 用來表示照相時嘟嘴、噘嘴的表情)

This one is from @PrissDubs.

這是來自 PrissDubs 的推文

She says,"My supervisor found me online shopping during the day.

她說：「我的主管發現我在工作的時候網購

I tried to change tabs but the tab I switched to was more online shopping."

我試著切換頁面，但另一個頁面還是購物的網站」

Last one is from @Auntgirl.

最後一個是 Auntgirl 的推文

She said, "I was looking up a guy's info on a college computer. Heard his voice from behind telling me how correctly spell his last name."

她說：「我在學校的電腦上搜尋一個男生的資訊，聽到他的聲音從我後面傳來，跟我說他的姓氏要怎麼正確地拼」

Oh!

喔！

There you have. Those are tonight's show. Hashtags.

以上是今夜秀 Hashtags 單元

Check out more of my favorites. Go to tonightshow.com/hashtags

到 tonightshow.com/hashtags 的網址看更多我喜歡的推文