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  • Previously on You Suck At Cooking

  • Hey Douglass...

  • John...

  • *crack*

  • It wasn't a homicide...

  • They murdered 2 innocent eggs and made an escape.

  • *bork bork*

  • I believe you've been looking for me...

  • I didn't catch your name?

  • John.

  • Oh my god...

  • I've been making you this.

  • A trampoline?

  • To celebrate us being home free for life.

  • I will hunt you down...

  • ...until you're dead.

  • Hang on, Dennis.

  • I'm comin'.

  • You Suck at Cooking, Yeah you Totally Suck.

  • For the breakfast burrito, you're gonna need

  • a tortilla,

  • tomato, avocado,

  • black beans, cheese

  • onion, onion

  • salsa

  • sour cream

  • and eggs.

  • whoop!

  • hehe...

  • woah!

  • whoaa!

  • t h i s i s s o c o o l

  • Gonna take your green onion,

  • and ripple... chop.

  • We're chopping green onion for the eggs and purple onion for the black beans.

  • and we're chopping tomato for fun.

  • And let's open the avocado and put it on standby.

  • Throw in some olive oil,

  • So once this is cooked up a bit, add in your black beans

  • some salt; some pepper pepper pepper;

  • and some cumin.

  • And really... really take in that aroma of cumin.

  • *snnnnifffffff*

  • Yup. I know that smell alright.

  • *sniff* ahhhh...

  • What the hell is that guy doin'?

  • Ummmmmmmmmmm...

  • Police work.

  • I'm trying to track down a criminal.

  • A criminal who doesn't realize that he sprayed evidence all over this wall here.

  • Evidence? You mean piss?

  • Haha. Yeah. Piss.

  • Evidence comes in a lot of forms.

  • Did you guys see anything suspicious around here lately?

  • I will straight up taze you.

  • He went that way.

  • Great.

  • Your visual observations combined with this evidence here

  • combined with my tracker device that shows me exactly where he is at all times

  • means I know exactly where to go.

  • You stay out of trouble.

  • Ummmmm...

  • *sniffffff*

  • If the beans get too dry, you can add a little bit of water

  • I've already burnt the onions, so that's great

  • So at the last possible second, we're gonna cook the eggs.

  • Now the tortilla is warming up over here,

  • I like 'em just barely cooked

  • K. We're gonna take the warm tortilla,

  • The sour cream.

  • And salsa.

  • This is for moisture distribution purposes.

  • Egg goes on,

  • Grated cheese goes on,

  • That's when you want to hit it with the beans,

  • So it all melts,

  • Oh man, I'm putting too much stuff on here

  • the tomato,

  • some avocado,

  • and I made some burrito sauce,

  • I like to have enough sauce to eat my burrito and drink my burrito at the same time.

  • I like the type of burrito that threatens to leak all over my pants.

  • God, I love camping.

  • The smell of the forest,

  • The wind in the trees,

  • Could anything be better?

  • No.

  • Are you alright?

  • Yeah... I'm great...

  • Camping.

  • It's the best...

  • You seem like something's on your mind.

  • I think I left the stove on

  • There's a stove at the warehouse?

  • Or I might have left the windows open

  • It could rain

  • Uh huh.

  • I think I forgot to put the tarp over the trampoline.

  • If it gets dusty......

  • You know what I think?

  • I think you're hiding something.

  • Wh-wha--...I... I'm not...

  • I think you're hiding your feelings.

  • You need some time alone?

  • You wanna go for a walk?

  • I don't give a care.

  • Oh. Yeah.

  • I think you're right,

  • I just need some time to think

  • I'll see you...

  • Back here...

  • Later.

  • Oh no...

  • Ohhhh crap.

  • Pull that back......

  • And then

  • Damn.

  • Ideally, you want to be able to fold

  • I've really done it, haven't I?

  • Just go ahead and serve.

  • Inside that can

  • from the black beans

  • And if you have a second one you can put it on top

  • And tape it together

  • And take it to work like that.

  • But that's not gonna leak over anybody's pants.

  • I don't care what kind of pants they wear.

  • Another approach is to take a straw

  • And then just drink your burrito.

  • And the other approach would be to make sure you wear your burrito pants.

  • When that door opens

  • I'm gonna bust these ropes off jump up

  • Karate kick em in the face and

  • oh my god don't hurt me I'll do anything you want.

  • Today's your lucky day, kid.

  • Chief! Oh my god!

  • I can't thank you enough!!

  • No, Dennis. It's my fault.

  • I should have believed you.

  • How in the world did you find me?

  • Good ol' fashioned police work.

  • A splash of evidence...

  • Annnnnd a tracking device.

  • A... tracking device?

  • Uh... mostly just evidence

  • You put a tracker on me?

  • On you? No.

  • I did not put a tracker on you.

  • It's best not to think about this too much.

  • It could get pretty uncomfortable.

  • I put it up your a-

  • You son of a bitch.

  • How could you?

  • How could YOU?

  • How could I what?

  • How could you betray the whole force?

  • You've been double-dealing with the freeriders.

  • I'm trying to bust the freeriders.

  • I was undercover.

  • You've been taking kickbacks. Flapjacks.

  • Sabotaging our operation at every turn.

  • And now you'll be able to spend the rest of your life with your precious freeriders.

  • In prison.

  • Chief...

  • It's time to go, Dennis.

  • I don't think so...

  • You're under arrest.

  • Uh, that's interesting.

  • Considering neither of you are leaving here alive.

  • John....

  • We're on the same team here.

  • You swore you'd kill me if you ever got free.

  • I'm no math expert,

  • but-

  • I'm a wanted man now.

  • Things have changed.

  • You killed 2 innocent eggs to make your escape.

  • You and your friend there. Douglas.

  • We do what we had to do.

  • We did what?

  • What are they talking about, John?

  • Nothing.

  • Are they talking about... the decoys?

  • The decoys names were Pat and Terry.

  • Pat and Terry? John!!

  • Y-you killed them?!

  • I-I... we were all gonna die anyway...

  • What?!

  • I tried to tell you...

  • I NEVER would have gone along with that!

  • It was our only way out...

  • The fingers... went off--

  • I thought we were friends!

  • Friends?

  • Yeah.

  • That night, that we--

  • I don't want to talk about it...

  • But we--

  • I don't want to talk to you, ever again.

  • But----

  • sgdlkjfhfghdkghgvbnc

  • It was our only way out...

  • HASDHJGSDFJKSJDFHSDASDSA

  • *screech*

  • he he he he he he ha ha ha ha haaa....

  • *motorcycle noises*

  • *motorcycle noises intensify*

  • Youuuu suckkkk at coooking oh my god youuuu suckkkkkkkkk

Previously on You Suck At Cooking

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B1 中級 美國腔

(Breakfast Burrito - You Suck at Cooking (episode 47))

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    佳萱 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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