Oh yeah, thanks. Good work today, Steve.

哦，謝謝。今天干得不錯 史蒂夫

[phone vibrates]

[手機震動]

Let's get dinner tonight. Can you pick? I don't care where.

我們今晚去吃飯吧你會挑嗎？我不在乎在哪兒

I've heard those words before...

我以前聽過這些話......

Always an ordeal...

總是一種折磨...

Never ending well. "We always go there!"

永無止境"我們總是去那裡！"

"Just pick one!"

"選一個吧！"

"Anything but that."

"除了這個"

"But everything is closing!" *Groan*

"但一切都要結束了！"*Groan*

I'm starving. What are you doing for dinner?

我餓死了晚飯吃什麼？

Not now, Steve!

現在不行 史蒂夫

What should we eat? What should we eat?

我們應該吃什麼？我們應該吃什麼？

What should we eat, what should we eat? What should we eat? *Gasp of realization*

我們應該吃什麼，我們應該吃什麼？我們該吃什麼？*恍然大悟*

Hey!

嘿！

So did you pick a place?

你選好地方了嗎？

Even better. You did.

甚至更好。你做到了

What? How is that possible?

這怎麼可能？

Because I finally learned how to answer the most difficult question a couple has to face every day.

因為我終於學會了如何回答一對夫婦每天必須面對的最困難的問題。

"What do you want to eat?" You see, in the past, no matter how many suggestions

"你想吃什麼？"你看，在過去，無論有多少建議

I give you, you reject all of them! We debate for hours and hours! Sometimes to the point.. where I go hungry.

我給你，你全部拒絕！我們爭論了好幾個小時！有時爭得我都餓了。

But not tonight. I've got a plan that's gonna figure out exactly what we want to eat for dinner with zero stress and 100% satisfaction.

但今晚不會我有個計劃，能讓我們在毫無壓力和百分百滿意的情況下 準確地知道晚餐想吃什麼。

How long will this take?

這需要多長時間？

Have a seat!

請坐

Let's start with this.

讓我們從這裡開始。

What is that?

那是什麼？

It's a fortune from Panda Express. See, I know you're always craving their orange chicken and their honey walnut shrimp.

這是來自熊貓快餐的一筆財富。你看，我知道你總是想吃他們的橘子雞和蜂蜜核桃蝦。

It's like your comfort food.

它就像你的安慰食品。

And what's more comforting than a fortune cookie which you always end the meal with?

還有什麼比你總是在用餐結束時吃一塊幸運餅乾更讓人舒心的呢？

I always ask for two.

我總是要兩個。

But when I was dropping off our dry cleaning this morning,

但今天早上我去送乾洗衣物時

I was checking pockets, and I found this fortune in the pants you wore to work yesterday, so I'm guessing you just had Panda. Not surprised.

我在檢查口袋時，在你昨天上班穿的褲子裡發現了這筆錢，所以我猜你剛吃了熊貓。一點也不驚訝

Okay, but what does that have to do with tonight?

好吧，但這和今晚有什麼關係？

Well, do you remember what your fortune said?

好吧 你還記得你的命運是怎麼說的嗎？

Uh, something about having to smile soon.

呃，說什麼很快就得笑了。

Exactly, and smiling made you think of "cheese!" and cheese made you think of cheeseburgers, and judging by the extra burger shack napkins that you

沒錯，微笑讓你想到 "芝士！"，芝士讓你想到芝士漢堡，而從你額外的漢堡店餐巾紙來看

have in your purse over there...

有在你的錢包那邊...

I'm guessing that's what you had for dinner yesterday.

我猜你昨天晚飯吃的就是這個。

How did you...

你怎麼...

Ah!

啊！

But, while you were eating your burger, you immediately started to crave something else. Mexican food. Why? Because as you were eating, you started to think...

但是，在你吃漢堡的時候，你立刻開始渴望別的東西。墨西哥菜為什麼？因為當你吃的時候，你開始想...

why is it called a hamburger if...

如果......為什麼叫漢堡包？

If there's no ham in it. Seriously, why?

如果裡面沒有火腿的話說真的，為什麼？

Ham, pig, pork, you wanted a carnitas bowl, which is what you have for lunch today.

火腿、豬肉、豬肉，你想要一碗肉醬，這就是你今天的午餐。

But something was missing. Say ah.

但還是少了點什麼。說啊

Ah?

啊？

No avocado.

沒有牛油果

But you love avocado. You would never pass up a chance to add avocado to a meal. Unless it was overpriced.

但你喜歡牛油果。你絕不會放棄在飯菜中添加牛油果的機會。除非價格太貴。

Why pay two dollars...

為什麼要花兩美元...

For a half an avocado you can get two for the price of one. You're so frugal.

半個牛油果的價格可以買兩個。你真節儉。

It's basic economics.

這是基本的經濟學原理。

But that left you craving avocados all day. You still had to seize your omega-3s, which leads us to the obvious answer.

但這讓你整天都想吃鱷梨。你還是得補充歐米伽-3，這就給了我們一個顯而易見的答案。

Betsy's Diner for their famous cobb salad, avocado included.

貝茜餐廳（Betsy's Diner），因為他們著名的科布沙拉，包括牛油果。

Sounds great! Let's go there.

聽起來不錯我們去那兒吧

Sure, we could go there, except after you finish your salad, you would start munching on my chili fries,

當然，我們可以去那裡，只是你吃完沙拉後，就會開始啃我的辣椒薯條、

and then you would begin to complain that you're eating too unhealthy,

然後你就會開始抱怨自己吃得太不健康、

considering that you're trying to slim down in order to look "hotter than the other bridesmaids" at Teresa's wedding next month.

考慮到你正在努力瘦身，以便在下個月特蕾莎的婚禮上看起來 "比其他伴娘更性感"。

Wait! I never told you that.

等等，我從沒告訴過你

You also never told me that you had the answer to our dilemma this entire time.

你也從來沒有告訴過我，你有解決我們困境的辦法。

I do?

是嗎？

Yep.

是的。

We've been watching nature documentaries this whole week. Tonight was gonna be about the salmon migration. Which, as I suspected,

這一週我們一直在看自然紀錄片。今晚的主題是鮭魚遷徙正如我所料

you started without me.

你不等我就開始了

After spawning, all Pacific salmon die and the salmon life cycle starts again.

產卵後，所有太平洋鮭魚都會死亡，鮭魚的生命週期重新開始。

Okay. So what? I got a head start.

好吧，那又怎樣？我搶先一步了

What does it have to do with dinner?

這和晚餐有什麼關係？

Well, all you can think about right now is salmon skin rolls and sashimi. Therefore, sushi buffet!

你現在滿腦子都是三文魚皮卷和生魚片。是以，壽司自助餐！

Great! Let's do that.

好極了讓我們開始吧

But! There was a small earthquake on the Izu Peninsula that affected a nearby nuclear plant, causing it to leak into local streams

但是！伊豆半島發生了一場小地震，影響到附近的一座核電站，導致核洩漏進入當地溪流中

contaminating all farms of

汙染所有農場

Eutrema japonicum

Eutrema japonicum

Huh?

啊？

Also known as

又稱

wasabi. You'd see a clickbait video about the contamination on the way to the buffet and be afraid of getting sick.

山葵你會在去自助餐廳的路上看到關於汙染的點擊視頻，然後害怕生病。

I'd then suggest not risking it, because well, we're out of toilet paper.

我建議不要冒險，因為我們的衛生紙用完了。

You forgot to buy toilet paper.

你忘了買廁紙

You know how bad my memory is. My point is

你知道我的記性有多差。我的觀點是

why go out and risk nuclear wasabi poisoning when we could save money and cook a delicious meal right here at home?

如果我們能省錢，在家裡就能烹飪出美味佳餚，為什麼還要出去冒著核芥末中毒的風險呢？

Sure fine, but what will we make?

當然可以，但我們能賺多少？

Obviously, my famous chicken carbonara that you love so much.

很明顯，這是我最拿手的碳烤雞肉，你們非常喜歡。

Actually, that sounds great.

事實上，這聽起來不錯。

But we're out of eggs

但我們沒有雞蛋了

[chicken cluck]

[雞咯咯]

You forgot to buy eggs, too

你還忘了買雞蛋

It doesn't matter.

沒關係。

Because you wouldn't want pasta anyways, because when we eat pasta we always pair with wine. My chicken carbonara recipe uses breast meat, and everyone

因為無論如何你都不會想吃意大利麵，因為我們吃意大利麵時總是會搭配葡萄酒。我的 Carbonara 雞肉食譜使用的是雞胸肉，而每個人

knows that white meat goes best with white wine, like a sauvignon blanc, which I also didn't buy,

我知道白肉最適合搭配白葡萄酒，比如長相思，但我也沒買、

but at home, all we have is red wines. And I'm not about to serve white meat with a Zinfandel!

但在家裡，我們只有紅葡萄酒。我可不想用仙粉黛來搭配白肉！

So I was gonna go to the grocery store to buy toilet paper, eggs, and a perfectly dry Chardonnay, until I remembered that it's been

所以，我打算去雜貨店買衛生紙、雞蛋和一瓶幹得不能再幹的霞多麗葡萄酒，直到我想起，它已經

exactly three years since September 2014, the last time the sun emitted a significant solar flare,

自 2014 年 9 月太陽最後一次發射大規模太陽耀斑以來，整整三年過去了、

which has since ever so slightly affected soil temperatures in the Burgundy region of France. Which,

此後，法國勃艮第地區的土壤溫度受到了輕微影響。其中、

undoubtedly, would ruin any recent production of our favorite brand of wine.

毫無疑問，這將毀掉我們最喜歡的品牌葡萄酒的任何近期生產。

What!?!

什麼？

Are you crazy? I just asked you to pick a place to eat. Why are you making it so complicated?

你瘋了嗎？我只是讓你選個吃飯的地方你幹嘛搞得這麼複雜？

It should be black and white. It shouldn't be this hard!

它應該是黑白的。不應該這麼難

Exactly!

沒錯！

Huh?

啊？

What's the opposite of hard?

難的反義詞是什麼？

Easy? No, soft. What's black, white, and soft?

輕鬆？不，軟。什麼是黑、白、軟？

Told you I had a plan.

告訴過你我有個計劃

Orange chicken and honey walnut shrimp always hit the spot. Thanks, babe. But next time, let's just go with our first instinct.

橙子雞肉和蜂蜜核桃蝦總是很受歡迎。謝謝，寶貝。但下一次，我們還是跟著直覺走吧。

Hey, I guess your fortune was right.

嘿，看來你的預言是對的。

What do you want for dessert?

你想吃什麼甜點？

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

嘿，你們在這裡幹什麼？

Not now Steve!

現在不行，史蒂夫！

It's Chris.

是克里斯

Hey everyone, hope you guys liked that video. It was definitely inspired by true events. Why is it so difficult to decide what to eat?

大家好，希望你們喜歡這段視頻。它的靈感肯定來自真實事件。為什麼決定吃什麼這麼難？

Thank you so much to Panda Express for partnering with us.

非常感謝熊貓快餐與我們的合作。

We're actually doing a really fun contest with them where we're gonna be bringing a few special fans

實際上，我們正在與他們進行一場非常有趣的比賽，我們將邀請幾位特別的粉絲參加

Panda Express right to their door. All you have to do is on social media use Twitter or an Instagram.

熊貓快餐送貨上門。您只需在社交媒體上使用 Twitter 或 Instagram。

Show us in a fun way what gives you comfort, and use the hashtag my kind of comfort.

用有趣的方式告訴我們是什麼給了你安慰，並使用 "我的安慰 "標籤。

It could be a picture of your mom. It could be a gif of your pets.

可以是你媽媽的照片。可以是你寵物的 gif。

Just get creative. All the details are down below. We can't wait to bring you some Panda. See you guys next time. Bye!

只需發揮創意。所有細節都在下面。我們迫不及待地想給你們帶來熊貓。下次再見再見