Whoa, whoa, whoa, whao

噢，等等等等！

Having sex? What, what?

發生關係？什麼？

What happened to friends?

單純的友誼還存在嗎？

What happened to just caring about your buds?

單純互相關懷的那種

I'm Liam and I'm team Game of Thrones

我是 Liam，我是權力遊戲派的

I'm Jonathan and I'm with Lord of the Rings

我是 Jonathan，我是魔戒派的

The 3 things that I don't like about Lord of the Rings are...

我不喜歡魔戒的三個地方是…

The character development

角色性格發展

The lack of anything really visceral that goes on,

情感上的缺乏

and just the setting of Middle Earth itself.

還有中土世界的場景設定

The 3 things I don't like about Game of Thrones,

我不喜歡權力遊戲的三個地方

is it's morally bankrupt, like just great morals to teach kids,

首先是權力遊戲裡的道德淪喪，教導孩子這些真是好棒棒 (反話）

and each episode ends on this cliffhanger, who's gonna die next, it's like a soap opera.

以及每一集都結束在高潮的地方、誰是下一個死掉的人，就像肥皂劇一樣

Thirdly, it's just not as fun.

第三，它就是沒那麼有趣

Bite your tongue!

收回你說的話！

Tyrion drinks, he whores, he does whatever he wants.

Tyrion 喝酒、他召妓、他做任何他想做的事

Literally, YOLO 24-7

真正地「你只會活一次」，無時無刻

Walk me through how Bran Stark got paralized

那你好好解釋一下 Bran Stark 怎麼會癱瘓了

Brand Stark.

Brand Stark

Bran, like Bran Flakes.

Bran，跟麥麩薄片的 Bran 一樣拼法

Bran Flakes, oh, ok.

麥麩薄片，喔，好

Bran Stark， he was on a horse, and he got thrown off it,

Bran Stark 他騎在馬上，然後被扔下馬背

and then his dad takes him to the doctor and he's like,

然後他爸爸帶他去看醫生

"Bran, as healthy as your name may sound,

「 Bran，即使你的名字聽起來很健康

you are not gonna be healthy for the rest of your life.

你接下來的人生將不再健全了

You are paralyzed."

你癱瘓了。 」

A for effort.

你盡力了

What actually happened,

實際狀況是

is that he got pushed out of a window.

他被推出窗外了

One day, he's climbing in a tower. He looks in the window and there is Cersei and Jamie Lannister

某一天，他爬上一座塔，從窗戶外看進去時看到了 Cersei 跟 Jamie Lannister 在做某件事

going at it. It's only natural. They're married right?

這很正常，他們結婚了，對吧？

No!

不！

Jamie and Cersei Lannister are twins.

Jamie 跟 Cersei Lannister 是雙胞胎姐弟

Oh!

喔！

Jamie Lannister jumps up and he just grabs him and pulls him in and he's like,

Jamie Lannister 嚇了一跳然後抓住了他並把他拉過來，說道

"The things I do for love." And he just pushes him right out the window.

「 我現在做的事是為了愛。」 然後馬上將他推出窗外

I was right about him falling.

至少墜落的部分我講對了

Yes

是的

Was there a doctor?

那有醫生嗎？

There was a maester.

那裡有學士

Maester-bates

Maester-bates ( 芬蘭音樂團體Turmion Kätilöt 的bass手 )

How about that?

如何？

Sam, he's a good cook.

Sam，他是個好廚師 ( 指魔戒中的 Samwise Gamgee )

He knows vegetables. and he ESPECIALLY knows potatoes.

他對蔬菜很了解，特別是馬鈴薯

This Sam could cook potatoes.

這個 Sam 很會料理馬鈴薯

So can this Sam

這個 Sam 也是 ( 指權力遊戲中 Samwell Tarly )

He cooked potatoes for everybody.

他為大家料理馬鈴薯 ( 指魔戒中的 Samwise Gamgee )

So would this Sam!

這個 Sam 也會 ( 指權力遊戲中 Samwell Tarly )

How would he help you in a situation like, you went to a bar with him and you needed a wingman?

如果現在的情況是你要跟他走進一個酒吧，而你需要一個同伴，他會怎麼幫你？

Here's what I think Boromir's pickup line would be,

我想 Boromir 的開場白會是

"Hey, wanna see my horn?"

「 嘿，想看看我的號角嗎？ 」

The horn of Gondor?

剛鐸的號角？

Yeah.

沒錯

And I guarantee you that Stark over here, he would just talk about the weather,

而我跟你保證 Stark 在那裡只會講到天氣

and we all know that the weather is the most boring topic of conversation you can bring up.

我們也都知道天氣是所有能想到的話題中最無聊的一個

Hmm... I disagree.

嗯…我不同意

Winter is coming. And so will you.

冬天快到了，你也是 (雙關）

If you google Hodor, the internet spits back at you,

你如果搜尋 Hodor ，網路上會出現的是 Hodor…Hodor…Hodor…

Hodor is not just a person, it's a word that means everything.

Hodor 並不只是個人，它也是個代表所有事物的字

Ask me a question, any question.

問我一個問題，任何問題

What is your basic religious philosophy?

你基本的宗教觀為何？

Hodor, hodor, hodor.

Hodor，Hodor，Hodor

I would die, fairly quickly in Middle Earth, of something very boring.

在中土世界，我會因為一些很無聊的事情突然死掉

Coming from the future you'd have a lot of diseases you'd have built up immunities to just sitting in your body.

從未來時間來的時候你會有很多疾病以及很多抗體存在你的身體裡

Right.

沒錯

Perpeciphilades Middle Earth edition.

Perpeciphilades 中土世界版本

Right.

沒錯

While everybody is out, at Helm's deep, at the battle of their lives,

當所有人都出去，在聖盔谷，在生死決戰的當下

I'm at home, dying of ork flu.

我在家裡，因為獸人的流感而快死了

If I was living in Westeros, I give it a month before I die some horrible death.

如果我生活在 Westeros ，在我因為一些可怕的原因死掉前，我會花一個月時間

I'd probably either join a mercenary group, or join a mummers troupe.

我可能不是加入傭兵團，就是加入旅行劇團

I'd probably tour the Seven Kingdoms, in either capacity,

我可能會遊歷七大王國，以任何一個資格

probably wouldn't be that long before I ran afoul of some very ornery soliders,

可能不會那麼久，在我跟某些兇惡士兵起衝突

who decided they didn't like my face for whaever reason

而他們因為看我不順眼就決定

and stabbed me to death.

把我刺死

The most sexual thing that happens in the books, Faramir kisses Eowyn's forehead.

在魔戒裡關於兩性關係，頂多是 Faramir 親吻 Eowyn 的額頭

Meanwhile, in Westeros,

同時，在 Westeros

you have Tyrion Lannister having sex with three women at the same time.

你可以看到 Tyrion Lannister 同時跟三個女人上床

Why wasn't there any nudity in the movies?

為什麼魔界裡面沒有裸露畫面？

I think that Peter Jackson, he's a sweaty looking guy,

我以為 Peter Jackson 看起來是個容易流汗的人

We all sweat!

我們都會流汗！

You sweat a disgusting amount and with sweat comes stink.

你流的是充滿噁心且發臭的汗水

And with sweat did J.R.R. Tolkein make those books?

那些汗水讓 J.R.R. Tolkein 成就了那些著作嗎？

They don't need to be talking about the birds and the bees, and the boobs

他們不需要提到那些性內容與胸部

and he still wrote one of the greatest pieces of literature.

他也能寫出經典文學名著

With no boobs.

在沒有提到胸部的情況下

Boobs are awesome. Specifically just my girlfriend's though.

胸部很棒，我是說只有我女朋友的

That's it. That's the only one. She's gonna see this, she's gonna kill me!

就這樣，她會看這部影片，她會殺了我！

Everybody's kind of a nerd these days as a result of Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings, or both!

因為權力遊戲跟魔戒，讓大家這陣子都變成了書呆子

Nerds have taken over the world!

書呆子接管了世界！

Girlfriends!

女朋友們！

Boyfriends!

男朋友們！

coworkers

同事們

jocks

運動健將們

husbands

老公們

Grandparents

祖父母們

My mom's a nerd

我媽也是書呆子

The term has lot it's meaning

這個詞有很多意思

Has it? I think it's just gained a new meaning.

有嗎？我以為它有了新的意義