If reality shows are real, it is real.

SHUT UP!

You make me the happiest man ever, and marry me?

No, I've only known you for two weeks. We've only spent 4 and a half hours together

I don't even know your middle name!

Don't have one.

See, that's weird.

No.

[Ian makes sad, alien sound]

People we need to get this kitchen clean, you wash the dishes, you mop floor, you clean the oven.

[zooms out on cake employees. lol]

God, you guys are so lazy! Looks like I'm gonna have to hire some new cakes around here...

This design is...

Insane. No one will grab it! Yes, it's absolutely disgusting,

Perhaps you design a t-shirt. People love t-shirts. Yes, maybe put on meemee [SHE SAID MEEMEE OMG] on it perhaps the boy he does:

Yeah, the boy. The meemee boy does this

Yes you get it, yes, people love Meemees, not this garbage. Make it work. [clap clap]

Well, here it is.

I'm gonna go dance with the stars! [laughs as he floats towards the Sun]

Man, I love dancing. So you guys don't like salsa - whoo man, it's geting a little hot in here. Maybe we could do a tango or- ooh, ah-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Look at this shite! [Yes chef,] IT'S [bleep] -ING RAW YOU [bleep] -ING DONKEY! [Yes chef.]

[Chef!] Oh my god, I'm sorry, was that ok?

Oh yeah, totally! Uh maybe next take you could call me a [bleep] -ing idiot cow [bleep] -er? Ooh, cow [bleep] -er, yes that's great!

[NEXT!] COW [bleep] -ER!! Yes chef! WHADDYA [inaudible moans] YES CHEF!

And America's next Top Model is...

Whichever one of you has the most instagram followers.

Everyone thinks Mike is kind of a [bleep] -hole, but I don't mind him, in fact

I'm a pretty laid-back guy, so I don't let things like that get to me, you know. I just don't like to fight.

Okay, this is boring as hell. Can you turn up the drama? Yeah! I'm on it!

Mike is a - [bleep] -hole - but to fight - like - so I let - a - [bleep] -hole - get to me - Mike - get to me - [bleep] -hole

[bleep] - hole [bleep] -hole [bleep] -hole Now this is juicy! Juicy Lucy...

00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:58,409 Kim! Hey, Kim! K-Kourtney, Kim!

These Kardashian is really hard to keep up with. Probably why they call it keeping up with the Kard-ash-ians.

Subtitles by DrInfiniteBlox.

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