"ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING."

PLEASE WELCOME ADAM CONOVER!

♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )

COME ON UP HERE!

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU

BACK.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME BACK.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE ALWAYS SO FRESH FACED AND NATILY DRESSED.

>> I DO MY BEST.

IT'S ALL TV MAGIC.

THERE'S A WHOLE TEAM.

I GOTTA BE HONEST.

THAT'S WHAT I DOUGH.

>> Stephen: YOU CALL YOURSELF AN "INVESTIGATIVE COMEDIAN" WHO

RUINS THINGS BY REVEALING FACTS BEHIND COMMON BELIEFS.

WHEN YOU WERE HERE IN OCTOBER BEFORE THE ELECTION, YOU TRIED

TO YOUI RUEIN THE ELECTION BY SA IT'S NOT THE CRAZIEST ELECTION

THAT AMERICA HAS EVER HAD.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE TO-- AMEND THAT STATEMENT IN ANY

WAY?

>> THE ONE HISTORICAL PRECEDENT THAT TRUMP BROKE WAS THAT HE

WON.

>> Stephen: A CANDIDATE LIKE HIM NORMALLY DOESN'T WIN.

>> GEORGE WALLACE, WHO HE HAS SIMILARITIES TO.

GEORGE WALLACE DIDN'T WIN.

TRUMP DID IN.

NOW WE'RE IN-- I COULDN'T DO ANOTHER SHOW ABOUT HOW THERE ARE

HISTORICAL PRECEDENTS FOR TRUMP BECAUSE IT'S CLEARLY

HISTORICALLY UNPRECEDENTED.

>> Stephen: HE HAS RUINED RUINING EVERYBODY.

AN INVESTIGATIVE COMEDIAN, HOW DOES ONE BECOME THAT?

HOW DID YOU BECOME THAT PERSON?

>> I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN INFORMATION SPONGE IN MY LIFE.

I DON'T LISTEN TO MUSIC IN MY CAR.

I LISTEN TO PODCASTS.

I'M JUST THAT TYPE OF-- I'M ALWAYS COLLECTING FACTS.

I ALWAYS DID INTERRUPT PEOPLE IN PARTIES WHEN SAY, OTHER, OH,

YOU'RE TAKING ANTIBIOTICS."

I DID THAT IN MY LIFE AND IT WAS VERY ANNOYING.

>> Stephen: WOW, WOW, FUN GUEST, AT A PARTY.

>> WELL, YOU'RE STARTING TO SEE HOW I TRANSFORMED IT INTO A

COMEDY CHARACTER FOR MY EGO.

>> Stephen: DID YOU TOUR AROUND THE COUNTRY?

>> NO, HONESTLY, I WENT-- I WAS DOING-- I QUIT DOING OPEN MICS,

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MICS-- IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN TO OPEN MICS,

THEY'RE TERRIBLE.

I WAS A STRUGGLING COMIC AND I STARTED PUTTING FACTS IN MY ACT

TO GET PEOPLE TO PAY ATTENTION.

>> Stephen: YOU WENT FROM STRUGGLING TO GAIN FLEE EMPLOYED

THAT FAST.

>> I LOVE HOW YOU DESCRIBE A SHOW ON truTV, THAT'S GAINFUL

EMPLOYMENT, YEAH!

>> Stephen: A LOT OF COMEDIANS HATE YOU NOW JUST HEARING YOU

SAY, THAT BECAUSE THE STRUGGLE, THE STRUGGLE FOR YEARS, DID YOU

NOT PAY YOUR DUES?

>> OF COURSE, I DID, OF COURSE, I DID.

AS A COMEDIAN YOU DO SO MANY BAD SHOWS.

DIA SHOW-- A SHOW I DID A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE THE TV SHOW WAS

PICKED UP AT AN E.D.M. FESTIVAL.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS -- >> Stephen: WHOOP!

>> I THINK YOU'RE STARTING TO GET AN IDEA OF WHY DIDT DIDN'T

GO WELL.

>> Stephen: YOU DID STAND-UP WHILE THAT MUSIC WAS PLAYING?

>> YEAH, WAY OFF-- WAY OFF IN A DISTANCE.

IT'S AN ACRONYM FOR EVERYBODY IS DOING MOLLY.

AND THE COMEDY TENT WAS IN THE AREA WHERE AFTER PEOPLE HAD DONE

SO MUCH DRUGS, THAT THEIR HEART STOPPED, AND THEN THE MUSIC

BROUGHT THEM BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE IT'S C.P.R. ON THEIR

BODIES.

OH!

LIKE THAT.

THEN THEY WOULD GO TO, LIKE, THE CHILL-OUT AREA WHERE THE COMEDY

SHOW WAS.

>> Stephen: SO THESE WERE PEOPLE WHO WERE, LIKE, DEI HAD

DEHYDRATED AND EXHAUSTED AND YOU WOULD DO COMEDY FOR THEM?

>> YES, THEY WEREN'T YOU KNOW IN LAUGHING MOOD.

THEY WERE A GOOD CROWD BUT -- >> Stephen: THEY WERE ON MOLE,

RIGHT?

>> YES.

>> Stephen: SO YOU WOULD TELL A JOKE AND THEY WOULD SAY, "I

LOVE YOU."

>> YES, YES.

"I'D LOVE TO TOUCH YOUR SHIRT."

>> Stephen: OKAY "ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING."

>> OKAY.

>> HERE WE ARE "ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING," RUIN SOMETHING FOR

ME.

SOMETHING THAT I THINK I KNOW ABOUT.

>> SOMETHING WE'RE DOING COMING UP IS-- YOU'RE A PATRIOTIC GUY,

RIGHT?

>> Stephen, OF COURSE,.

>> DO YOU LIKE, SAY, MOUNT RUSHMORE.

>> Stephen: I'VE NEVER BEEN BUT IT'S AN AMERICAN ICON.

>> DON'T GO.

IT'S AMERICA'S-- I'D SAY WEIRDEST NATIONAL MONUMENT.

IT'S A STRANGE MONIEWRNLGT ISN'T, THE IDEA THAT WE WOULD

CARVE FACES INTO THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN.

IT'S AN ODD IDEA.

>> Stephen: IT'S TO HIDE THE GOLD INSIDE THAT'S REVEALED IN

"NATIONAL TREASURE 2," RIGHT.

THEY DID THAT TO THROW OFF THE TREASURE HUNT.

>> NOT QUITE, NOT QUITE.

>> Stephen: SO RUIN IT FOR ME.

>> SOME FACTS ABOUT IT.

MOUNT RUSHMORE IS ACTUALLY UNFINISHED.

>> Stephen: WHAT JOOTD RUB AT THE BOTTOM-- YOU SEE THE

PICTURES AT THE HEAD AND THE ROCKS AT THE BOTTOM, THAT'S

BECAUSE THEY WERE GOING TO DO THE WHOLE BODES.

THE PRODUCT RAN OUT OF MONEY AND THE WORKERS WALKED OFF THE JOB,

AND THE GFTS WAS LIKE, "THAT'S PLENTY.

WE'RE DONE."

AND THE REASON WAS THE SCULPTOR HAD DIED.

AND HE WAS SOME MANIAC WHO HAD THIS CRAZY PLAN WHERE HE

LITERALLY WANTED TO KEEP THE CONSTITUTION AND DECLARATION OF

INDEPENDENCE INSIDE THE HEADS -- >> Stephen: WITH ALL THE GOLD!

( LAUGHTER ).

>> HE WANTED TO KEEP THEM INSIDE A MOUNT IN SOUTH DAKOTA.

AND THE GOVERNMENT WAS LIKE, "NO, JUST BUILD THE STAT USE,

DUMMIES."

NOW THE PRESIDENT IS ON THE MONUMENT.

WASHINGTON, THE FIRST PRESIDENT, TEDDY ROOSEVELT.

WHY IS TEDDY ROOSEVELT ON THERE SOME.

>> Stephen: BECAUSE HE'S GOES?

>> HE WAS FRIENDS WITH THE SCULPTOR.

THAT'S WHY-- LITERALLY WHY.

A FINE PRESIDENT, BUT THAT'S WHY.

NOT ANDREW JACKSON, YOU WHO MIGHT SAY WOULD BE PERHAPS MORE

FAMOUS AT THE TIME.

IT WAS TED ROOSEVELT BECAUSE GOODSON WAS LIKE, "I WANT TO

SUCK UP TO MY BUDDY."

>> Stephen: DID PEOPLE, WHEN IT WAS FIRST COMPLETED, WE'RE

SAYING THIS IS DONE, DID PEOPLE LIKE IT?

IT'S INSTANTLY A HIT OR "WHAT IS ROOSEVELT DOING UP THERE?"

>> I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT.

I THINK THEY PROBABLY HAD TO LIKE IT BECAUSE IT WAS THERE.

>> Stephen: WAS ROOSEVELT STILL ALIVE WHEN IT WAS

FINISHED?

>> I THINK HE WAS DEAD AT THAT TIME.

>> Stephen: WHEN WAS IT FINISHED?

>> NOW OOUF STUMPED ME.

I DON'T KNOW, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: STEPHEN RUINS EVERYTHING.

>> Stephen: "ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING" IS ON TUESDAYS ON

truTV.

IT'S GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT.