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  • HONEST TRAILERS - THE LORD OF THE RINGS

    誠實預告-魔戒三部曲

  • NARRATOR From the director of the King Kong Universal

    由環球影業《金剛》的導演

  • Studios ride...

    打造的巨作

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Comes a film adaptation of the overly dense,

    改編自一本厚重的宅男寶典

  • nerd bibles that employed an entire nation.

    內容涵蓋許多種族

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) When an evil vagine-eye awakens - its up to

    當邪惡的陰道眼覺醒時

  • this Hobbit and this Fantasy Boy Band to destroy it’s jewelry...

    由哈比人與他的夢幻男孩團體,一同去摧毀魔戒

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Prompting these unlikely heroes to embark

    促使這些不太可靠的英雄踏上了

  • on an 11-hour New Zealand Tourism Commercial...

    整整 11 小時的紐西蘭觀光廣告之旅

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Rife with walking...

    帶來滿滿的...行走

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Roaming...

    閒晃...

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Hiking....

    遠足...

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) More walking...

    又走來走去

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) And strolling.

    還有散步

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Join our heroes as they face ruthless armies

    加入我們英雄的行列,一起面對中土最殘忍的

  • of Middle Earth

    軍隊

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) All vying for the most powerful object in

    所有戰爭都是為了取得最強的力量

  • the world -the one ring to rule them all!

    一枚能支配全世界的魔戒

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Which does absolutely nothing, besides turn

    除了隱身之外

  • you into an invisible crack addict...

    也能讓旁邊的人變成癮君子

  • BILBORaaah!”

    Raaah!

  • NARRATOR Behold a quest so long, these heroes will

    這些英雄們為了完成漫長的征途

  • need to be...

    將會需要...

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Carried by horses...

    騎著馬匹

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Carried by orcs....

    騎著半獸人

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Carried by trees...

    騎著樹人

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Carried by eagles...

    騎著老鷹

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) And carried by hobbits.

    還有騎著哈比人

  • SAMWISE “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry

    「我不能幫你背負使命,但我可以

  • you”.

    揹著你」

  • NARRATOR Meet characters who’s names are so complicated,

    來認識這些角色超級複雜的名字吧

  • only a linguist could remember... like:

    只有語言學家才能記得,像是

  • ELRONDGandolf

    「甘道夫」

  • BILBO - O.S. “Frodo!”

    「佛羅多」

  • FRODO – O.S. “Bilbo!”

    「比爾博」

  • GRIMA WORMTONGUE O.S. “Sauron

    「索倫」

  • FRODOSaruman

    「薩魯曼」

  • BOROMIRArogorn

    「亞拉岡」

  • FRODO – O.S. “Son of Arathorn

    「亞拉岡之子」

  • AROGORNBoromir

    「波羅莫」

  • LONG HAIR MANFaramir

    「法拉墨」

  • THEODENEowyn

    「伊歐玟」

  • ELRONDArwen

    「亞玟」

  • ELRONDGimli Son of Gloin

    「金霹、葛羅音之子」

  • ELRONDIsildur

    「埃西鐸」

  • LEGOLASMorgoth

    「魔苟斯」

  • GALADRIELGaladriel

    「凱蘭崔爾」

  • HALDIRCaras Galadhon

    「卡拉斯加拉頓」

  • THEODENTheodred

    「希優頓」

  • RED BEARDGrima Wormtongue

    「葛力馬‧巧言」

  • HALDIRLegolas, Son of Thranduil

    」勒苟拉斯、瑟蘭督伊之子」

  • FRODOSam

    「山姆」

  • NARRATOR Featuring the award-winning visual effects

    以本片獲得殊榮的特效團隊

  • team - that launched the career of one man

    讓某人開啟了

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Who must now wear skintight spandex and face

    必須全程穿著緊身衣

  • dots for the rest of his life...

    的職業生涯

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Comes... A movie bursting with so much manly

    一部充滿了男性互相憐憫

  • compassion...

    的電影

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Youll think youre watching Brokeback

    你還以為自己在看

  • Mount Doom

    「末日斷背山」

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D)

    (CONT'D)

  • A tale that will strive to prove that people of all walks of life can work together...

    一個證明不同種族之間也可以團結合作的故事

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) As long as theyre all white... Seriously

    只要他們都是白人

  • even when they die, they come back whiter.

    說真的,他們就算死了也一樣白

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) And an adventure where every lead character

    每場冒險,主角總是要面臨同樣的瀕死危機

  • faces constant mortal danger - but only Sean Bean dies...

    但這次只有西恩賓死了

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Gee... haven’t seen that before...

    咦,絕對沒有在哪看過...

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Starring.

    主演

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) A film that took so much of Peter Jackson’s

    這部電影花了彼得‧傑克森的大半人生

  • life - he didn’t want it to end

    他還捨不得結束掉

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Prompting FIVE completely separate endings...

    還推出五種完全不同的結局

  • that go on and on forever...

    沒完沒了

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Making it really hard to hold in your pee.

    讓你憋不住小便

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) A film with such fake emotional stakes - Gandalf

    一部欺騙你我感情的電影

  • will sacrifice himself for his friends, only to somehow come back to life, making

    敘述甘道夫為了朋友犧牲自己,卻又莫名其妙地復活

  • it not really a sacrifice...

    這算哪門子犧牲啦

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) And a story where the protagonists can’t

    一群主角沒辦法靠自己贏得戰爭

  • win their own battles without convenient Ghost Armies, Living Trees and Magic Eagles...

    還得要幽靈大軍、活的樹人和魔法老鷹來救援

  • PIPPENThe Eagles are coming!”

    「老鷹來幫我們了」

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Ughh, I can’t believe were only half

    我真不敢相信,這部彼得‧傑克森的宅男寶典

  • way through this Peter Jackson nerdgasm.

    只拍了一半而已

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Happy Hanukkah Screen Junkies! Make sure to

    燭光節快樂!

  • check out our trailer for Jewish Elf

    歡迎大家來看看我們的猶太精靈預告片

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) Oh and if you think I sound different, read

    哦,如果你想聽聽我不同的聲音

  • the description below

    請閱讀底下的描述

  • NARRATOR (CONT’D) And don’t forget to leave a comment with

    別忘了給我留言

  • something you’d like to hear me say in my epic voice.

    指定你想聽我用史詩級美聲說什麼句子

HONEST TRAILERS - THE LORD OF THE RINGS

誠實預告-魔戒三部曲

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誠實預告片 - 魔戒 (Honest Trailers - The Lord of the Rings)

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