All I'm saying is your friend Duane

我只是在說你的朋友 Duane

can be kind of a douche.

有時候有點像渣男罷了

You're calling my best friend a douche

你說我最好的朋友是渣男

and I'm not suppose to care?

而我還不應該感到介意？

I would never say something bad about

我絕對不會說妳好友

any of your friends.

的壞話

Really?

你講認真的？

On October 11, 2015,

2015 年 10 月 11 號，

you said Sabrina was so annoying,

你說Sabrina 有夠惱人，

that it made you grind your teeth.

惱人到你咬牙切齒了

I never said that!

我從沒那樣說過！

Uhh, here we go .

唉，又來了

Let's see, find the file.

來吧，找出那個檔案

Oh, here's the transcript.

喔，筆錄在這裡

Now, is there a video that accompanies this?

有跟這個搭配的影片嗎？

Ah, perfect. Thank you.

啊，完美。感恩

How does she always remember this sh*t?

她怎麼永遠都記得這種東西？

It's like she always waits to bring things up at the perfect time.

彷彿她總是等著在完美的時機提起這些事

I can never win an argument!

我永遠吵不贏她！

Women are like elephants.

女人就像大象

They have extraordinary memories

她們有著非凡的記憶力

capable of recalling the smallest of details.

能夠回想起最微小的細節

The battle men face in relationships involves the ego.

男人在感情中面對的是面子的戰爭

Basically, if you can accept the fact

基本上，如果你能接受

that you will always be wrong

你永遠是錯的這個事實

in every argument you ever have with your girlfriend,

每一次跟女友的爭吵，

YOU'LL BE HAPPY!

你都會感到快樂！

I can't do that.

我做不到

Do you want to get laid again?

你還想上床嗎？

Babe, are you still mad at me?

寶貝，你還生我的氣嗎？

I think I got something that can help us.

我想我找到可以幫助我們的東西了

Aww, babe. This is so accurate.

噢，寶貝。這好中肯喔

Anyway, I'm sorry I said all those things about Sabrina.

總之，我為我對 Sabrina 說的那些話道歉

Aww, thank you babe.

噢，謝啦，寶貝

Well, you're sorry, too, right?

那，你也有覺得抱歉，對吧？

Awwww, hehe.

噢，呵呵