So Daimler and Benz Leach and Peugeot Ford Olds and a bunch of engineers and dreamers and iron workers came up with cars and the universe said, oh shit, these machines aren't easy to understand for ordinary folks and they cost a lot of money.

於是，戴姆勒、奔馳、標緻、福特、奧爾茲以及一群工程師、夢想家和鋼鐵工人發明了汽車，而宇宙卻說，哦，該死，這些機器對普通人來說並不容易理解，而且要花很多錢。

We'd better get some sales people quick.

我們最好快點找些銷售人員來。

And so the universe gave us car salesmen.

於是，宇宙給了我們汽車銷售員。

The universe said I need someone willing to work Bell to Bell six days a week, make 100 phone calls a day.

宇宙說，我需要一個願意每週工作六天，每天打 100 個電話的人。

Handle, floor traffic, close four deals on the last day of the month.

在本月的最後一天，完成四筆交易。

Stay out till last call celebrating and still make it into the 8:30 a.m. sales meeting the next day wide awake and ready to kick ass and take names.

在外面慶祝到最後一刻，第二天早上 8:30 還能清醒地參加銷售會議，隨時準備大顯身手。

So the universe gave us car salesmen.

於是，宇宙給了我們汽車銷售員。

The universe said I need someone who can charm the pants off.

宇宙說，我需要一個能把我迷得神魂顛倒的人。

A none talk business with executives, football with steel workers and knows just enough about just about everything to have an intelligent conversation with anyone no matter their hobbies or line of business.

他與企業高管談生意，與鋼鐵工人談足球，對任何事情都瞭如指掌，無論對方的愛好或業務範圍如何，他都能與之進行睿智的對話。

I need a fellow with brass balls, the size of grape fruits.

我需要一個有黃銅球的傢伙，像葡萄果實那麼大。

The confidence of a trapeze artist, the bravado of a pool hustler, the memory of an elephant, the skin of a rhinoceros, the horns of a bull and the Polish of a statesman.

空中飛人的自信、撞球藝人的張揚、大象的記憶、犀牛的皮膚、公牛的犄角和政治家的波蘭語。

So the universe gave us car salesmen.

於是，宇宙給了我們汽車銷售員。

The universe said I need someone to shovel snow for me in Minnesota, cold winters and to move a minivan's worth of stuff into a new car in Texas heat.

宇宙說，在明尼蘇達寒冷的冬天，我需要有人幫我剷雪，在德克薩斯炎熱的夏天，我需要有人幫我把小貨車裡的東西搬進新車。

I need someone with the patience to teach your grandmother how to use her factory navigation system.

我需要一個有耐心的人，教你奶奶如何使用她的原廠導航系統。

But the drive and determination to do a 90 minute demonstration for every customer, even if they come in 10 minutes after close and can't finance a hot dog.

但是，我們有動力和決心為每一位顧客做 90 分鐘的演示，即使他們在打烊 10 分鐘後才來，而且連一個熱狗都買不起。

So the universe gave us car salesmen.

於是，宇宙給了我們汽車銷售員。

The universe said I need someone who can get things fixed at service without running up a bill.

老天爺說，我需要一個能在服務時把東西修好而又不增加賬單的人。

I need someone who can entertain kids and shut down third baseman and stand up to sales managers of corporate types and close three deals by noon.

我需要一個人，他能逗孩子們開心，讓三壘手無話可說，還能面對企業類型的銷售經理，並在中午之前完成三筆交易。

I need someone who can survive for 14 hours on nothing but coffee, adrenaline and half a slice of pizza inhaled in a three minute lunch break and deal with folks that shop their prices against every dealer in the tri state area and still have to think about it.

我需要這樣一個人：他能在咖啡、腎上腺素和三分鐘午休時間內吃下的半塊披薩的支持下，連續工作 14 個小時；他還能與三州地區的所有經銷商進行價格競爭，卻仍然需要考慮。

I need someone who isn't going to break down when he has three deals.

我需要一個在有三筆交易時不會崩潰的人。

Unwind in one day.

在一天內放鬆身心

Someone who is willing to stay five hours over so his teammate can watch their kids recital and get the short end of a split deal and not bitch about it.

有人願意多待五個小時，讓隊友去看他們孩子的獨奏音樂會，在分錢的時候也不抱怨。

I need someone who knows his product line inside, outside, upside down and can still sell what's on the lot today.

我需要的是一個對自己的產品線瞭如指掌的人，他必須對產品線瞭如指掌，而且還能把現在的產品賣出去。

But most of all, I need someone who will study, learn the craft.

但最重要的是，我需要一個會學習、學手藝的人。

Treat the people right.

正確對待人民。

Train the new guy when you're not playing pranks on him, take him under your wing, pass down everything you've learned.

在你不惡作劇的時候，訓練新人，把他帶在你的羽翼下，把你學到的一切傳授給他。

So that one day after you've sold everyone and their families and their friends and their coworkers and you're living out your days pottering around dealerships, doing dealer trades.

有一天，你把所有人和他們的家人、朋友、同事都賣掉了，然後你就在經銷商處閒逛，做經銷商的生意，度日如年。

You can look out at all the young faces in the showroom and know that somehow some way you made an impact on our world.

看著陳列室裡一張張年輕的面孔，你會知道，在某種程度上，你對我們的世界產生了影響。

And so the universe gave us car salesmen.

於是，宇宙給了我們汽車銷售員。