Man, you stay here anytime you want.

兄弟，你什麼時候要來都歡迎你

Thanks man.

謝了

Anything you want.

隨時都歡迎

You're the best!

你人最好了

You're like my brother to me.

你就像我兄弟一樣啊

More than a brother...

比兄弟還讚...

We're best friends.

我們是最好的朋友！

Hey, what can I give for you?

兩位好，想點些什麼？

I'll have the bread platter please.

我要一份麵包拼盤

Okey, and for you?

好，那你呢？

I was gonna get a caeser salad but I'll get a bread platter too.

我本來想點凱薩沙拉的，但我也來一份麵包拼盤好了

Don't you have a gluten allergy?

你不是對麩質過敏嗎？

Not if you don't, best friend.

如果你沒有我就沒有喔，我的寶貝

Oh, that's adorable.

哦，真可愛

(Gesture speaking) Hey, how was your weekend?

嘿，你周末過得怎麼樣？

(Gesture speaking) So good, I finally dumped John

超爽的～我終於甩掉那個約翰了～

-You humped John? -No, dumped John

- 你上了約翰？ - 不是啦！我「 甩 」了約翰

Oh, good, you go girl up.

那太棒了 做得很好！

(Tries the same but he can't)

Whaat??!!

My mom's my best friend.

I am so happy to our meeting.

You guys will get along so great.

I'll be right back.

So, Caitlyn, what are you...?

If you hurt my friend, I will find you...

I will kill you...

I will chop you to little pieces...

怎樣啦？

and feed you to your family... got it?

我媽就是我的好朋友啊

(Scared as hell) Yeah... yeah, ye-ye-ye-yeah.

我好高興見到你們兩個

What are you guys talking about?

你們一定會處的很好！

Gathering his tickles.

我等等就回來

Oh, that's so sweet.

所以凱倫 你. . .

Uumh, we're just friends.

如果你傷害我的朋友

Hey, how you...? Oh...

我會找到你

What happened to you?

我會殺了你

I got elbow playing volleyball.

我會把你剁碎 拿去餵你的家人們

All right.

懂嗎？

Oh my god, Katherin, what are you doing?

我懂(;ﾟдﾟ)

¡¡Best-friends-look-the-same!!

你們在聊什麼？

I'm so excited to show you off to all my friends.

切他老二啊(´≖◞౪◟≖)

Yeah, me too, babe.

你們也太甜蜜了吧

-Hey, girl. -Hey! Matt, meet my best friend, Kelly.

呃. . . 我們只是朋友？

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you too.

嘿 最近過得. . .

Oh my god, Amanda!

你怎麼了？！

(screams) Matt, this is my best friend, Amanda.

我打保齡球的時候被人肘擊

Hi... but I thought...

好吧

-What up, biiiitch?! -Biiiiitch!!

(ﾟд⊙)

Matt, this is my best friend, Amy.

歐買尬 你是在衝沙毀？！

Hi...

(((ﾟДﾟ;)))

Okey, hold on, how do you have this many best friends?!

好...

Okey, you're literally ruining the meaning of the word "best."

朋友...

-Okey, so who's your best friend? -Jordan Gutierrez, duh.

看起來...

What?! Jordan's your best friend? Then what am I, man?

也要...

You're like... my best friend too...

一樣！！！

I get it.

Σ(ﾟДﾟ；≡；ﾟдﾟ)

Yo, secret hadshake.

好兄弟！

You deserve... so much better than him.

我等不及把你介紹給我所有朋友了

(Sobbing) You're so sweet.

我也是啊 寶貝

I wish I could meet a guy like you.

嘿！

You know...

嗨！

I'm a guy...

麥特！見見我最好的朋友凱莉！

like me...

很高興見到你

Maybe we could...

我也是！

(Throwing up)

天啊 亞曼達 是你！

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

麥特！見見我最好的朋友亞曼達！

It's just... the idea of dating with you is like... so disgusting to be.

嗨！

It's ok... I still got a boner.

但我以為. . .

You're my best friend. Why would you tell her my secret?

怎樣啊？小婊子？

Hey, dude, I got... umh... something important to ask you...

婊子子子子子子子

Would you be my best man?

麥特 這是我最好的朋友艾咪

I love you.

嗨. . .

Come here, my best friend! You're my best friend!

好喔 等一下下. . .

I think I love you.

你哪來這麼多「最好的朋友」？

(Inaudible) Is this on?

你把「最好的」這三個字給毀掉了

Oh, yeah, what's up, y'all? It's me again.

OK 那誰是你「最好的朋友」？

I just moved in to my dorm and I'm finally gonna meet my new roomie

喬登啊 不然勒？

and new best friend, Kyle.

什麼？喬登是你最好的朋友？

We've been talking a while for months now

那我呢？老兄

we like all the same things, like pleated slacks, drinking in shore...

呃. . . 你也是我. . .最好的朋友啊

'sup, gowdy? How does it hang?

我懂你了

-K-Kyle? -Yeah!

YO 來個秘密握手法！

How old are you?

比他更好的男人才值得你！

Age is just a number, fresh prince. Now slap me four!

你人真好. . .

I lost a finger in war.

我多希望能遇到跟你一樣的男人啊！

Yeah. You're my best in-school friend.

那個. . .

I'm so glad you could come over. This will be really fun.

我就是那個. . .

Definetily. I'm kinda surprised Kathy isn't here though.

跟「我」一樣的男人啊

Yeah... I did tell her we can't be friends.

也許我們可以. . .

She was just... way too clingy.

Σ(;ﾟдﾟ)

-Let's go bake some cookies. -Sounds awesome.

老天 我很抱歉

Hey, guys, thank you for watching and subscribing.

只是我跟你都那麼熟了

If you wanna watch "Every dating app ever", click the box on the left.

要這麼親密好噁心喔. . .

and to watch "Every bathroom ever", click the box oon the right.

沒關係啦

Thank you.

我的GG還硬硬的ㄛ(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)