from a man named John Piper

是一個叫約翰派伯的人說的；

who is a well-known Bible teacher

他是一個著名的解經家﹔

and he talks about marriage

他談到婚姻，

and how this mystery refers to Christ and the church

及婚姻與基督和教會之間的奧秘時

and he says this

他說，

"Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically

結婚，主要的考慮不是經濟上的強強聯合，

It is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love

而是要體現盟約式的愛

between Christ and his Church"

就是基督與教會之間的盟約的愛。

he says, "Knowing Christ is more important

他說， 認識基督是首要，

than making a living

比養家糊口更重要。

treasuring Christ is more important

愛基督是首要，

than bearing children

比生兒育女更重要。

either way, it is short

不管怎樣， 婚姻是短暫的，

it may have many bright days

可能有很多明朗的晴天，

or it may be covered with clouds

也可能有很多的陰暗的雨天，

but if we set our face to make of marriage

但如果我們努力經營婚姻，

mainly what God designed it to be

按神的設計去經營婚姻，

no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way

那麼任何的悲傷和災難都不能讓婚姻觸礁。

every one of them will be not an obstacle to success

任何的困難都不會阻礙，

but a way to succeed

都會成為通向成功的路徑。

the beauty of the covenant-keeping love

盟約式愛情的美麗，

between Christ and his Church

也就是基督和教會式的盟約，

shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it"

在兩人都完全依靠基督時， 散發出最明亮的光輝。

Ian and I first met in 2005 at college

我和李恩是2005年上高中時相識的，

and had a blast for ten months getting to know each other

我們熱戀了十個月的時間，

I was looking through and I found one of my favorite pictures

有一天我整理照片， 看到一張我很喜歡的照片，

which I think was actually taken right before his accident

是他出車禍前照的，

he set up a camera on his tripod

他把相機安在腳架上照的。

and it's just a classic Ian face

照片捕捉到他最典型的表情，

that, to me, sums up who he is

我覺得那是最能體現他是怎樣的一個人，

we had been dating for ten months

我們交往了十個月的時間，

and he was working an extra job for his dad

那時他正在幫他爸爸做事，

and he was on his way to work near Pittsburg

有一天， 他在比茲堡附近干活，

and we got a phone call that he had been in an accident

我們接到電話， 說他出了車禍，

and we didn't know if it was when he got to work

我們當時不知道車禍是什麼時候發生的， 是他已經到了工作地點，

or on his way

還是在路途中，

and so we got down to Pittsburg

我們趕到比茲堡，

and I was just praying the whole time in the car

我在車上不住地禱告，

that it wouldn't be his brain

希望車禍沒有傷到他的大腦，

after being at the hospital for a few hours

到了醫院幾個小時后，

we found out that it was

我們知道他頭部受傷，

and he had been in brain surgery for a few hours

已經動腦手術好幾個小時了，

and had suffered a traumatic brain injury

他頭部傷得很嚴重，

God totally spared his life

但神保守了他的性命。

one night he was failing four out of five brain activity tests

有天晚上， 他做了五個腦部反應檢測， 四個都沒有通過，

and the next morning he was doing well

第二天早上他的情況又好轉，

and his brain was starting to respond again

他的大腦又開始有反應了，

I moved in with his family after the accident

車禍后我搬去和他家人一塊兒住，

so I was really involved in his therapy

我參與了他整個治療的過程，

and just did whatever I could to make his life fun

只要能讓他過的好些， 我能做什麼就做什麼，

we'd go out on dates and, looking back, it's weird

我們還出去約會， 現在想起來， 覺得挺奇怪的，

cause he couldn't talk

因為， 當時他說不了話，

and he couldn't eat

也不能進食，

so we probably looked like complete weirdos being on dates

我們約會， 就像一對怪物，

but we had a blast and I just talked to him all the time

可是我們很享受， 我不停地跟他說話，

I knew that before Ian's accident he was very serious

我知道李恩車禍前， 他是認真的，

about marriage and was ring shopping

他想娶我， 還正准備買戒指，

so I knew where he was

我明白他的心意，

and that helped me so much

這一直支撐著我，

after he couldn't talk

他不能說話以后，

I knew that he loved me

我知道他愛我，

and I knew where he wanted the relationship to go

也知道他想我們的關系會怎麼繼續下去，

because we were dating very intentionally

因為我們是真心地約會，

we just prayed that marriage would someday happen

我們禱告有一天我們會結婚，

and watched all of our friends get married

我們看到周圍的朋友結婚了，

and start having families

生孩子了，

and that was challenging

我們感到有壓力，

but we just tried to hold out hope

但我們只能抓住一個盼望，

that that would be us someday

有一天， 結婚的是我們，

This is our board of gratefulness

這是我們的感恩布告牌，

and we encourage anybody who comes in

我們邀請每個來看我們的人，

to write a note of something they're thankful for

寫下他們感恩的一件事，

it could be really small

哪怕是很小的一件事情，

mine is just Saturday mornings

我把感恩日定在星期六早上，

it's just a good way that we found to be

我們發現這是個好辦法，

just practicing gratefulness

可以練習向神感恩，

Ian, I think half of yours say, "My wifey"

李恩， 我想你的另一半在說， ‘我的老婆’，

yeah

是啊，

which is pretty cool

好酷，

yeah

是啊，

we decided that we couldn't really

我們決定， 我們還不能

consider marriage as an option

考慮辦婚事，

until Ian was able to communicate

要等到李恩能用言語溝通。

but if he could communicate with me

但如果他能和我溝通，

then we could have a marriage

我們就可以考慮結婚，

knowing it would be really different

要知道那就當然就不一樣了，

but as long as Ian could talk to me

但只要他能對我說話，

then we could make it work

那我們就要往這個方向努力。

so once Ian began communicating

李恩開始說話時，

it became a little bit more of an option

就有好多事可做了，

and then we just kind of watched Ian progress

我們就留意他的進展，

Hi, husband!

你好， 老公，

Hi, wifey!

你好， 老婆，

How are you?

你好嗎？

Fine. How are you?

好， 你呢？

What?

什麼？

How are you?

你好嗎？

I'm good, it's good to see you

很好， 很高興看見你。

How was your day? Good?

今天過得怎麼樣？ 好嗎？

Good, yes

好， 很好。

A conversation I had with his dad

我和他爸爸談了一次，

it was one of those conversations

我們談的事，

where I realized this could happen

讓我有了不同的想法，

then that August his dad was diagnosed with brain cancer

八月， 他爸爸被診斷， 患了腦癌，

and at that point his dad's biggest concern was Ian and I

那時他爸爸最關心的， 就是我和李恩，

and whether or not we were going to get married

我們是不是要結婚，

or step away from our relationship

還是要分手，

he wanted us to make a decision

他想我們做個決定，

to move our lives in some direction

對我們自己有個交代，

he passed away before he was able to see us get engaged

他過世了， 就在看到我們訂婚之前，

but that was a huge impetus in why we started to pursue engagement

但他給了我們一個催促， 所以我們開始訂婚，

throughout premarital counseling

我們參加婚前輔導，

we just used This Momentary Marriage

用的是《短暫的婚姻》

it was so helpful because John Piper talked a lot about

給我們很大啟發， 約翰派伯說得很多內容

primary things and secondary things

都是關於什麼是首要的， 什麼是次要的，

which is real important for us

這對我們很重要，

because we were walking out our marriage practically

因為我們要用實際的眼光去看我們的婚姻，

Ian can't do the secondary things like working

李恩不能做很多婚姻中次要的事情， 比如工作，

or making a meal for me

給我做飯，

everything that's primary, though, he can do

但那些首要的事情， 他能做，

which is leading me spiritually

比如在靈命上引導我，

Ian always comes back to

李恩總是會提醒我回到起跑線，

the foundational truths of who God is

就是回到最根本的事實： 神是怎樣的神，

and kind of reels me back in from my emotions

他幫助我從自己的情緒中走出來，

and that's the most important thing

這是最重要的事。

we have two friends that we're going through the book with

我們有兩個朋友，和我們一起看這本書，

I think we've just been able to help them see

我覺得，我們開始讓他們明白，

that maybe the little things that they're excited for

那些讓他們很興奮的小事情，

about marriage are worth being excited about

當然結婚會有很多值得高興的小事情，

but they're not the end-all and be-all of their marriage

但那些事情不是婚姻的全部，也不是有那些就夠了，

but we also have so much to learn

不過我們自己也有好多東西要去學，

and we're learning from them

我們從他們身上也學到很多，

and things that they share

從他們的分享中學到很多，

because our relationships are different

我們的關系有很多變化，

and we can glean different things from each other

能彼此互相補充，

I think what helped us in deciding to make

我覺得， 能幫助我們決定，

this commitment to each other

作出婚姻承諾的，

at least for me

至少對我來講，

is knowing that Ian wouldn't have left me

就是知道， 李恩不會離開我，

if the roles were reversed

換了是我出了事，他不會離開我，

and that we love each other and we know

我們彼此相愛， 也知道

that God is going to be faithful to our marriage

神會用信實保守我們的婚姻。

we're able to love each other

我們能愛對方，

with, I think, a more Christ-like love

用像基督那樣的愛。

because of Ian's disability

因為，李恩的殘疾，

and just understand that picture

使我能更清楚地看到這一點，

a little bit better than if you were healthy

比人在健康時看得更清楚。

Do you agree?

你同意嗎？

Yes

同意。

What about God enables you to have a happy marriage?

神能給你一個快樂的婚姻， 你說呢？

You know...

要知道。。

What?

什麼？

He's awesome!

衪太棒了！

He's awesome?

衪太棒？

Yeah

是啊。

"When all around my soul gives way He then is all my hope and stay."

心中渴慕皆放下，唯靠主恩信永駐。

Desiring God exists to spread the truth that

願主同在， 傳揚真理。

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.

在主裡心滿意足， 是我們最榮耀神的時刻。