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  • Where in the world is Superwoman today?

    Superwoman 今天在哪裡?

  • In Trinidad and Tobago!

    千里達和托貝哥!

  • (neighing)

    (馬嘶嘶聲)

  • What up, everyone?

    大家好嗎?

  • It's your girl Superwoman.

    我是你們的 Superwoman

  • I have hugged a lot of people.

    我擁抱過很多人

  • In fact, over the past four months,

    事實上,過去四個月內

  • I've hugged over 10,000 people,

    我抱了超過 10,000 個人

  • which means you should hit the thumbs up right away

    這表示你們該立馬給我按讚

  • because of the accuracy and authenticity of,

    因為這精準度和可信度...

  • yo, the teleprompter froze.

    呦,大字報停住了

  • Scroll up, scroll up.

    捲上去,捲上去

  • Too far, too far, too far.

    太多了,太多了,太多了

  • Thumbs up, no, no, keep going, keep going.

    按讚,不、不,繼續繼續

  • Accuracy, authenticity, okay, here we go.

    精準度、可信度,對了,開始吧

  • Authenticity of this video.

    這支影片的可信度

  • (laughing)

    (嘿嘿)

  • Straight up, every once in a while,

    確實,三不五時

  • I have guys come up to me and ask me questions like,

    就有一些男生來找我,問我問題像是:

  • "How do I know if she likes me?"

    「我要怎麼知道她喜不喜歡我?」

  • "Yo, is she mad at me?"

    「呦,她是不是看我不爽?」

  • "Why are girls so confusing?"

    「女生為什麼這麼難懂?」

  • And I'm just like, bruh, you gotta learn

    我就會說:老兄,你得學學

  • the language of women,

    女人的語言

  • because you're up here listening to words

    因為你聽的是她的話

  • and she's delivering you braille.

    但她給你的是盲人點字

  • You gotta feel it out, boo!

    你要用心感覺啊,兄弟!

  • Women don't only communicate through words.

    女人不只透過言語來溝通

  • No, no, they communicate through body language.

    不、不,她們用肢體語言溝通

  • So one way to find out what a girl is thinking

    所以理解一個女生在想什麼的方法之一

  • is to pay attention to the way she hugs people.

    就是注意她是怎麼擁抱別人的

  • So here are all the ways a girl can hug someone

    底下是女生擁抱人的所有方式

  • and what those hugs mean.

    和這些擁抱的意義

  • Number one, the cheek kiss.

    第一個,臉頰吻

  • Now, this hug means that the girl is probably classy as F,

    這個擁抱代表這個女生「很有格調」

  • travels a lot, and regularly eats brunch.

    常旅行、有吃早午餐的習慣

  • She also loves to confuse people

    她也喜歡混淆別人

  • because they never know if it's one cheek or both cheeks,

    因為他們永遠搞不清楚是親一邊還是兩邊臉頰

  • if it's a double or a single kiss,

    是親兩次還是一次

  • and she loves that.

    而她喜歡這樣玩

  • She's like, "Mother F'ers, I wear the pants in this hug.

    她覺得:「去你X的,這擁抱是我做主

  • That's right, I sit on the Iron Throne of hugs.

    沒錯,沒有人不拜倒在我的石榴裙下

  • I am the lead Care Bear up in here."

    我是這裡的女王」

  • Now, if she does this hug

    現在,如果她這樣擁抱

  • and she's meeting you for the first time,

    而且她和你是第一次見面

  • chances are she's trying to make a really good impression.

    有可能她是想留下一個好印象

  • For example, she might hug your mom like this

    舉例來說,她可能會這樣抱你媽

  • if you two are dating, just like, hey, cheek kiss,

    如果你們倆在交往,就像,嘿,親臉頰

  • future mother-in-law.

    未來的丈母娘

  • Hopefully this distracts you from the fact that

    希望這樣可以分散你的注意力

  • you can see my thong when I sit.

    而不去想你看到我坐下時露出的丁字褲

  • Now, if you're not meeting for the first time,

    現在,如果你們不是初次見面

  • and she gives you a cheek kiss when she hugs you,

    而她在抱你的時候給你臉頰吻

  • probably means she likes you more than most people,

    可能代表她喜歡你比喜歡大多數人更多

  • enough to risk getting your cheek herpes.

    喜歡到甘願冒讓你臉頰起疹子的風險

  • Number two, side hug with eye contact.

    第二種,側邊擁抱外加眼神交會

  • Now, this hug means you're cool,

    那麼,這個擁抱代表你很酷

  • but she's not really emotionally invested into you.

    但她並不是真的把情感投注在你身上

  • There's probably a lot of people in the room

    這房間裡可能有很多人

  • that she has to say hi or bye to,

    她得和他們打招呼或道別

  • and you're just another one on the assembly line.

    而你只不過是集會中的另一個人

  • You know, she can't really spending too much time in this engagement

    你知道,她不可能真的花太多時間在這關係上

  • because it doesn't align with her priorities.

    因為這不符合她的優先選擇

  • Also, you're probably in the same category as,

    而且,你很可能被歸類在

  • like, her uncle that she kinda knows,

    像是,她稍微認識的叔叔那類

  • but she's not completely sure how you're related.

    但她不太知道你們到底有什麼關係

  • Number three, side hug with no eye contact.

    第三個,側邊擁抱眼神不交會

  • Now, you see, this hug right here,

    現在,你看,這邊這個擁抱

  • this hug means that, before she entered this room,

    這個擁抱代表著,她走進這房間前

  • she had to mentally prepare to see you

    必須做好心理準備來見你

  • because you are trash and she wants

    因為你是垃圾而她

  • no part of you in her life.

    一點也不希望你出現在她生活中

  • It means I'm mad at you.

    這代表我看你不爽

  • I don't like you. Okay?

    我不喜歡你,好嗎?

  • I would rather hug a grenade than hug you.

    我寧願抱手榴彈也不想抱你

  • This hug is a complete obligation.

    這擁抱純粹是個義務

  • Yeah, I'm just hugging you because people are looking

    沒錯,我只是因為別人在看才抱你

  • and I don't wanna seem rude or mean.

    而我不想要看起來無禮或刻薄

  • You know, I wanna appear to be the bigger person.

    你知道,我想要看起像個大器的人

  • And when I leave this establishment,

    而當我離開這個假象

  • I'm gonna think about how stupid you and your hugs are.

    我就會開始想你和你的擁抱有多蠢

  • Yeah, your hugs are the dumbest, okay?

    對,你的擁抱蠢斃了,好嗎?

  • Your hugs tripped over a cordless phone.

    你的擁抱蠢到能被無線電話絆倒

  • Your hugs went straight to DVD.

    你的擁抱爛到戲院不屑上映,直接出DVD

  • Get the F out of here.

    趕快滾蛋吧

  • Number four, two arms with squeeze.

    第四個,雙手緊緊環抱

  • This hug means I genuinely like you,

    這個擁抱代表我真的很喜歡你

  • and care for you, and you know,

    也很注意你,而你知道嗎

  • when you're not here, I might think about you spontaneously.

    你不在這裡的時候,我可能會不自覺地想到你

  • I hope you don't die, because you're a quality human being.

    我希望你不會死掉,因為你是個特優的人類

  • In fact, you know what, you ever ask me to hang out,

    事實上,你知道嗎,如果你約我出去

  • I might actually pull through and not cancel last minute

    我實際上可能會排除萬難赴約,絕不會在最後一刻取消

  • or pretend I'm sick.

    或裝病

  • Number five, two arms with neck grip.

    第五個,雙手環抱脖子

  • This hug means we've made out in my mind

    這個擁抱表示在我想像中我們已經親熱了

  • at least four times.

    至少四次

  • This is my way of getting my body

    這是我讓我的身體

  • as close to your body as possible

    盡可能接近你的身體

  • without us being Siamese twins.

    而不成為連體嬰的方法

  • And through this hug, I just wanna remind you

    透過這個擁抱,我只是想要提醒你

  • that I have boobs.

    我有胸部

  • Here they are.

    它們在這

  • And I might even arc my back a little bit,

    我甚至可能稍微弓起我的背

  • just so you can see how flexible I am.

    這樣你就可以看到我有多柔軟

  • Number six, hug with head cradle.

    第六個,輕撫頭的擁抱

  • You are like my child, and I will destroy

    你就像我的孩子,我會摧毀

  • anything or anyone that tries to hurt you.

    任何想要傷害你的人事物

  • I don't care how old you are.

    我不在乎你幾歲

  • I don't care if you're a full-fledged adult, okay,

    我不在乎你是不是已經是個毛髮長齊的成人,好嗎

  • you are my fetus, and I will protect your neck, and your spine,

    你是我的寶寶,我會保護你的脖子和脊椎

  • and cradle you in my bosom.

    並將你輕輕擁入懷中

  • Number seven, arm latch.

    第七個,緊抓手臂

  • She's probably in some sort of social setting,

    她可能是在某種社交場合中

  • and your arm is her safety blanket, and protection,

    而你的手臂是她的安樂毯和保護

  • and escape from being social.

    以及逃離社交活動的避風港

  • She's just like, "No, don't make me go out there

    她會說:「不,別叫我出去

  • and talk to all these other people, no!"

    和其他人講話,不要!」

  • It also means I'm codependent,

    這也代表我和你共存

  • probably to an unhealthy extent,

    可能到了不健康的程度

  • but I'm okay with that.

    但我還能接受

  • Number eight, two arms with starfish dance thing.

    第八個,雙手抱外加海星舞蹈

  • This hug means you are my best friend,

    這個擁抱表示你是我最好的朋友

  • and you are my mother F'ing ride or die,

    你是我生死與共的好友

  • and I missed you like hell

    而我超級想念你

  • because everybody sucks compared to you.

    因為每個人和你相比都遜斃了

  • I don't care how long this hug is.

    我不在乎這擁抱多長

  • I don't care who's watching this hug.

    我不在乎誰在看我們相擁

  • This hug is our moment.

    這擁抱是我們的時刻

  • This hug means you've seen me at my worst, okay.

    這擁抱代表你看過我最糟的時候了,懂吧

  • You knew me when I was ugly.

    你在我很醜的時候就認識我

  • You told me when I smelled.

    在我發臭的時候告訴我

  • Girl, you let me know when I was a ho,

    女孩,你在我放蕩的時候點醒我

  • and therefore we are spiritually connected always.

    因此我們在精神上永遠相隨

  • Number nine, hug with lift.

    第九個,離地擁抱

  • This hug means somebody's about to get laid, straight up,

    這個擁抱表示有人就要發生一夜情了,直白地說

  • because we probably haven't seen each other for a minute,

    因為僅僅是一分鐘沒見到彼此

  • and I missed you, and I'm gonna put my legs

    我就好想你,想到要把腳

  • up in the air and defy gravity

    舉到空中對抗地心引力

  • just to give you a sneak peek

    讓你偷偷看一下

  • of what's to come later tonight.

    今天晚上會有什麼

  • Number ten, the dap and hug.

    第十個,擊掌擁抱

  • This hug means that we understand the similar struggle

    這個擁抱代表我們就是能夠互相理解那些

  • that other people just don't get.

    其他人就是無法理解的掙扎

  • There's an unspoken respect between the two of us,

    我們倆之間有不須言喻的尊重

  • and we have a deep connection.

    我們有深厚的連結

  • We're probably from the same city,

    我們可能是來自同一個城市

  • the same team, the same motherland,

    同一個團體、同一個祖國

  • speak the same language.

    說同一種語言

  • This hug means that if we ever drink together and we cheers,

    這個擁抱代表如果我們一起喝酒、乾杯

  • I will make sure my glass physically touches your glass,

    我會確保我的酒杯有碰到你的杯子

  • because I have that type of respect for you.

    因為我對你有這樣的尊重

  • Number eleven, the wrestle hug.

    第十一個,摔角擁抱法

  • Friendzone!

    好人卡!

  • This is basically the friendship bracelet of hugs,

    這基本上就是擁抱版的友情手環

  • so baby boo, if you got one of these hugs

    所以兄弟,如果你喜歡的女生

  • from the girl you like,

    這麼抱你

  • you should know the only way your fingers

    你就該知道你的手指唯一

  • are gonna be going through her hair

    穿過她頭髮的機會

  • is when you're braiding her hair

    就是你在一個天殺的留宿夜一邊看【獨領風騷】

  • during a goddamn sleepover while watching Clueless.

    一邊幫她編髮的時候

  • Boy, move on.

    孩子,加把勁

  • Number twelve, head resting on shoulder hug.

    第十二個,頭枕在肩膀的擁抱

  • This hug means, yo, everything is dumb except for you,

    這個擁抱代表周圍的一切都靜默了,除了你

  • and I need you to hold me as I give up on life.

    當我對人生無望時我需要你的擁抱

  • This hug means my post ain't getting likes.

    這擁抱代表我的貼文沒有人按讚

  • I cheated on my diet.

    我在節食中偷吃

  • I got a degree in something I hate.

    我獲得討厭科目的學位

  • Honestly, my Uber can never find me.

    或老實說,我的 Uber 從來都找不到我

  • My new shoes keep peeling the skin

    我的新鞋一直刮

  • from the back of my ankles,

    我腳跟的皮

  • and I just cannot.

    而我實在受不了

  • So please support me through this trash life.

    所以請你支持我走完這廢物的一生

  • And there you have it.

    這就是全部了

  • Now you know what it means when a girl hugs you,

    現在你知道當女生擁抱你是什麼意思

  • and now, Team Super, this is your cue

    而現在,Super 團隊,聽我指令

  • to go back and check all those meet and greet pictures,

    回去檢查所有見面會的照片

  • and overanalyze them, and send me all the receipts

    仔細鑽研它們,並把結果寄給我

  • like I know you will, ya nasties!

    就像我知道你們會做的事一樣,你們這些討厭鬼!

  • I love you.

    愛你們

  • And don't forget, do hugs, not drugs.

    還有別忘記,要擁抱,別嗑藥

  • Yo, I'm hoping you like this video, straight up,

    呦,老實說我希望你們喜歡這部影片

  • because I am sweating everywhere,

    因為我全身上下都是汗

  • but I still wanted to make one.

    但我還是想要拍影片

  • It's so hot!

    超熱!

  • Check out my last video right over there,

    點這裡看我最新的影片

  • vlogs right over there.

    點這裡看影音部落格

  • Trinidad, my show is tomorrow on the 30th.

    千里達的朋友,我的秀就在明天 30 號

  • Tickets are still available, link in the description,

    票還買得到,連結在這裡

  • and subscribe because I make new videos

    訂閱我吧,我每週一和週四

  • every Monday and Thursday.

    會上傳新的影片

  • One love, Superwoman.

    唯一的愛,Superwoman

  • That is a wrap, and zoom!

    收工啦!再會!

Where in the world is Superwoman today?

Superwoman 今天在哪裡?

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