In Trinidad and Tobago!

千里達和托貝哥！

(neighing)

（馬嘶嘶聲）

What up, everyone?

大家好嗎？

It's your girl Superwoman.

我是你們的 Superwoman

I have hugged a lot of people.

我擁抱過很多人

In fact, over the past four months,

事實上，過去四個月內

I've hugged over 10,000 people,

我抱了超過 10,000 個人

which means you should hit the thumbs up right away

這表示你們該立馬給我按讚

because of the accuracy and authenticity of,

因為這精準度和可信度...

yo, the teleprompter froze.

呦，大字報停住了

Scroll up, scroll up.

捲上去，捲上去

Too far, too far, too far.

太多了，太多了，太多了

Thumbs up, no, no, keep going, keep going.

按讚，不、不，繼續繼續

Accuracy, authenticity, okay, here we go.

精準度、可信度，對了，開始吧

Authenticity of this video.

這支影片的可信度

(laughing)

（嘿嘿）

Straight up, every once in a while,

確實，三不五時

I have guys come up to me and ask me questions like,

就有一些男生來找我，問我問題像是：

"How do I know if she likes me?"

「我要怎麼知道她喜不喜歡我？」

"Yo, is she mad at me?"

「呦，她是不是看我不爽？」

"Why are girls so confusing?"

「女生為什麼這麼難懂？」

And I'm just like, bruh, you gotta learn

我就會說：老兄，你得學學

the language of women,

女人的語言

because you're up here listening to words

因為你聽的是她的話

and she's delivering you braille.

但她給你的是盲人點字

You gotta feel it out, boo!

你要用心感覺啊，兄弟！

Women don't only communicate through words.

女人不只透過言語來溝通

No, no, they communicate through body language.

不、不，她們用肢體語言溝通

So one way to find out what a girl is thinking

所以理解一個女生在想什麼的方法之一

is to pay attention to the way she hugs people.

就是注意她是怎麼擁抱別人的

So here are all the ways a girl can hug someone

底下是女生擁抱人的所有方式

and what those hugs mean.

和這些擁抱的意義

Number one, the cheek kiss.

第一個，臉頰吻

Now, this hug means that the girl is probably classy as F,

這個擁抱代表這個女生「很有格調」

travels a lot, and regularly eats brunch.

常旅行、有吃早午餐的習慣

She also loves to confuse people

她也喜歡混淆別人

because they never know if it's one cheek or both cheeks,

因為他們永遠搞不清楚是親一邊還是兩邊臉頰

if it's a double or a single kiss,

是親兩次還是一次

and she loves that.

而她喜歡這樣玩

She's like, "Mother F'ers, I wear the pants in this hug.

她覺得：「去你X的，這擁抱是我做主

That's right, I sit on the Iron Throne of hugs.

沒錯，沒有人不拜倒在我的石榴裙下

I am the lead Care Bear up in here."

我是這裡的女王」

Now, if she does this hug

現在，如果她這樣擁抱

and she's meeting you for the first time,

而且她和你是第一次見面

chances are she's trying to make a really good impression.

有可能她是想留下一個好印象

For example, she might hug your mom like this

舉例來說，她可能會這樣抱你媽

if you two are dating, just like, hey, cheek kiss,

如果你們倆在交往，就像，嘿，親臉頰

future mother-in-law.

未來的丈母娘

Hopefully this distracts you from the fact that

希望這樣可以分散你的注意力

you can see my thong when I sit.

而不去想你看到我坐下時露出的丁字褲

Now, if you're not meeting for the first time,

現在，如果你們不是初次見面

and she gives you a cheek kiss when she hugs you,

而她在抱你的時候給你臉頰吻

probably means she likes you more than most people,

可能代表她喜歡你比喜歡大多數人更多

enough to risk getting your cheek herpes.

喜歡到甘願冒讓你臉頰起疹子的風險

Number two, side hug with eye contact.

第二種，側邊擁抱外加眼神交會

Now, this hug means you're cool,

那麼，這個擁抱代表你很酷

but she's not really emotionally invested into you.

但她並不是真的把情感投注在你身上

There's probably a lot of people in the room

這房間裡可能有很多人

that she has to say hi or bye to,

她得和他們打招呼或道別

and you're just another one on the assembly line.

而你只不過是集會中的另一個人

You know, she can't really spending too much time in this engagement

你知道，她不可能真的花太多時間在這關係上

because it doesn't align with her priorities.

因為這不符合她的優先選擇

Also, you're probably in the same category as,

而且，你很可能被歸類在

like, her uncle that she kinda knows,

像是，她稍微認識的叔叔那類

but she's not completely sure how you're related.

但她不太知道你們到底有什麼關係

Number three, side hug with no eye contact.

第三個，側邊擁抱眼神不交會

Now, you see, this hug right here,

現在，你看，這邊這個擁抱

this hug means that, before she entered this room,

這個擁抱代表著，她走進這房間前

she had to mentally prepare to see you

必須做好心理準備來見你

because you are trash and she wants

因為你是垃圾而她

no part of you in her life.

一點也不希望你出現在她生活中

It means I'm mad at you.

這代表我看你不爽

I don't like you. Okay?

我不喜歡你，好嗎？

I would rather hug a grenade than hug you.

我寧願抱手榴彈也不想抱你

This hug is a complete obligation.

這擁抱純粹是個義務

Yeah, I'm just hugging you because people are looking

沒錯，我只是因為別人在看才抱你

and I don't wanna seem rude or mean.

而我不想要看起來無禮或刻薄

You know, I wanna appear to be the bigger person.

你知道，我想要看起像個大器的人

And when I leave this establishment,

而當我離開這個假象

I'm gonna think about how stupid you and your hugs are.

我就會開始想你和你的擁抱有多蠢

Yeah, your hugs are the dumbest, okay?

對，你的擁抱蠢斃了，好嗎？

Your hugs tripped over a cordless phone.

你的擁抱蠢到能被無線電話絆倒

Your hugs went straight to DVD.

你的擁抱爛到戲院不屑上映，直接出DVD

Get the F out of here.

趕快滾蛋吧

Number four, two arms with squeeze.

第四個，雙手緊緊環抱

This hug means I genuinely like you,

這個擁抱代表我真的很喜歡你

and care for you, and you know,

也很注意你，而你知道嗎

when you're not here, I might think about you spontaneously.

你不在這裡的時候，我可能會不自覺地想到你

I hope you don't die, because you're a quality human being.

我希望你不會死掉，因為你是個特優的人類

In fact, you know what, you ever ask me to hang out,

事實上，你知道嗎，如果你約我出去

I might actually pull through and not cancel last minute

我實際上可能會排除萬難赴約，絕不會在最後一刻取消

or pretend I'm sick.

或裝病

Number five, two arms with neck grip.

第五個，雙手環抱脖子

This hug means we've made out in my mind

這個擁抱表示在我想像中我們已經親熱了

at least four times.

至少四次

This is my way of getting my body

這是我讓我的身體

as close to your body as possible

盡可能接近你的身體

without us being Siamese twins.

而不成為連體嬰的方法

And through this hug, I just wanna remind you

透過這個擁抱，我只是想要提醒你

that I have boobs.

我有胸部

Here they are.

它們在這

And I might even arc my back a little bit,

我甚至可能稍微弓起我的背

just so you can see how flexible I am.

這樣你就可以看到我有多柔軟

Number six, hug with head cradle.

第六個，輕撫頭的擁抱

You are like my child, and I will destroy

你就像我的孩子，我會摧毀

anything or anyone that tries to hurt you.

任何想要傷害你的人事物

I don't care how old you are.

我不在乎你幾歲

I don't care if you're a full-fledged adult, okay,

我不在乎你是不是已經是個毛髮長齊的成人，好嗎

you are my fetus, and I will protect your neck, and your spine,

你是我的寶寶，我會保護你的脖子和脊椎

and cradle you in my bosom.

並將你輕輕擁入懷中

Number seven, arm latch.

第七個，緊抓手臂

She's probably in some sort of social setting,

她可能是在某種社交場合中

and your arm is her safety blanket, and protection,

而你的手臂是她的安樂毯和保護

and escape from being social.

以及逃離社交活動的避風港

She's just like, "No, don't make me go out there

她會說：「不，別叫我出去

and talk to all these other people, no!"

和其他人講話，不要！」

It also means I'm codependent,

這也代表我和你共存

probably to an unhealthy extent,

可能到了不健康的程度

but I'm okay with that.

但我還能接受

Number eight, two arms with starfish dance thing.

第八個，雙手抱外加海星舞蹈

This hug means you are my best friend,

這個擁抱表示你是我最好的朋友

and you are my mother F'ing ride or die,

你是我生死與共的好友

and I missed you like hell

而我超級想念你

because everybody sucks compared to you.

因為每個人和你相比都遜斃了

I don't care how long this hug is.

我不在乎這擁抱多長

I don't care who's watching this hug.

我不在乎誰在看我們相擁

This hug is our moment.

這擁抱是我們的時刻

This hug means you've seen me at my worst, okay.

這擁抱代表你看過我最糟的時候了，懂吧

You knew me when I was ugly.

你在我很醜的時候就認識我

You told me when I smelled.

在我發臭的時候告訴我

Girl, you let me know when I was a ho,

女孩，你在我放蕩的時候點醒我

and therefore we are spiritually connected always.

因此我們在精神上永遠相隨

Number nine, hug with lift.

第九個，離地擁抱

This hug means somebody's about to get laid, straight up,

這個擁抱表示有人就要發生一夜情了，直白地說

because we probably haven't seen each other for a minute,

因為僅僅是一分鐘沒見到彼此

and I missed you, and I'm gonna put my legs

我就好想你，想到要把腳

up in the air and defy gravity

舉到空中對抗地心引力

just to give you a sneak peek

讓你偷偷看一下

of what's to come later tonight.

今天晚上會有什麼

Number ten, the dap and hug.

第十個，擊掌擁抱

This hug means that we understand the similar struggle

這個擁抱代表我們就是能夠互相理解那些

that other people just don't get.

其他人就是無法理解的掙扎

There's an unspoken respect between the two of us,

我們倆之間有不須言喻的尊重

and we have a deep connection.

我們有深厚的連結

We're probably from the same city,

我們可能是來自同一個城市

the same team, the same motherland,

同一個團體、同一個祖國

speak the same language.

說同一種語言

This hug means that if we ever drink together and we cheers,

這個擁抱代表如果我們一起喝酒、乾杯

I will make sure my glass physically touches your glass,

我會確保我的酒杯有碰到你的杯子

because I have that type of respect for you.

因為我對你有這樣的尊重

Number eleven, the wrestle hug.

第十一個，摔角擁抱法

Friendzone!

好人卡！

This is basically the friendship bracelet of hugs,

這基本上就是擁抱版的友情手環

so baby boo, if you got one of these hugs

所以兄弟，如果你喜歡的女生

from the girl you like,

這麼抱你

you should know the only way your fingers

你就該知道你的手指唯一

are gonna be going through her hair

穿過她頭髮的機會

is when you're braiding her hair

就是你在一個天殺的留宿夜一邊看【獨領風騷】

during a goddamn sleepover while watching Clueless.

一邊幫她編髮的時候

Boy, move on.

孩子，加把勁

Number twelve, head resting on shoulder hug.

第十二個，頭枕在肩膀的擁抱

This hug means, yo, everything is dumb except for you,

這個擁抱代表周圍的一切都靜默了，除了你

and I need you to hold me as I give up on life.

當我對人生無望時我需要你的擁抱

This hug means my post ain't getting likes.

這擁抱代表我的貼文沒有人按讚

I cheated on my diet.

我在節食中偷吃

I got a degree in something I hate.

我獲得討厭科目的學位

Honestly, my Uber can never find me.

或老實說，我的 Uber 從來都找不到我

My new shoes keep peeling the skin

我的新鞋一直刮

from the back of my ankles,

我腳跟的皮

and I just cannot.

而我實在受不了

So please support me through this trash life.

所以請你支持我走完這廢物的一生

And there you have it.

這就是全部了

Now you know what it means when a girl hugs you,

現在你知道當女生擁抱你是什麼意思

and now, Team Super, this is your cue

而現在，Super 團隊，聽我指令

to go back and check all those meet and greet pictures,

回去檢查所有見面會的照片

and overanalyze them, and send me all the receipts

仔細鑽研它們，並把結果寄給我

like I know you will, ya nasties!

就像我知道你們會做的事一樣，你們這些討厭鬼！

I love you.

愛你們

And don't forget, do hugs, not drugs.

還有別忘記，要擁抱，別嗑藥

Yo, I'm hoping you like this video, straight up,

呦，老實說我希望你們喜歡這部影片

because I am sweating everywhere,

因為我全身上下都是汗

but I still wanted to make one.

但我還是想要拍影片

It's so hot!

超熱！

Check out my last video right over there,

點這裡看我最新的影片

vlogs right over there.

點這裡看影音部落格

Trinidad, my show is tomorrow on the 30th.

千里達的朋友，我的秀就在明天 30 號

Tickets are still available, link in the description,

票還買得到，連結在這裡

and subscribe because I make new videos

訂閱我吧，我每週一和週四

every Monday and Thursday.

會上傳新的影片

One love, Superwoman.

唯一的愛，Superwoman

That is a wrap, and zoom!

收工啦！再會！