You know this is an audition for James Bond, right?

你知道這是詹姆斯．龐德的試鏡，對吧？

Yep.

知道。

It's not like an underwear commercial, something like that.

不是內褲廣告之類的。

That's pretty obvious.

很明顯吧。

I wear way more underwear than you.

我穿過的內褲比你吃過的鹽還多。

Moneypenny -- Miss Moneypenny. Miss Moneypenny.

吃葡萄不吐… 吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮。

Okay, We're ready for you guys.

好，換你們了。

Hey guys, hey.

兩位好。

- Hey. - Hi.

- 嗨。 - 你好。

- So, thank you so much for coming in. Thank you. Hi, David. - Lovely to meet you.

- 謝謝你們今天來，謝謝，嗨大衛。- 很高興見到你。

Lovely to meet you.

很高興見到你。

Oh, lovely to meet you. Lovely to meet you.

很高興見到你們。

As you know, we are casting the new James Bond.

如你們所知，我們在尋覓新的詹姆斯龐德。

We're literally looking at all sorts of different people, you know.

實際上有各式各樣的人來試鏡。

So, we've got someone like you, David, handsome, kind of attractive, charming.

有像大衛你一樣的人，帥氣、有吸引力又迷人。

Uhh, physical specimen.

性感的代表。

And then there is someone like you, James.

也有像你一樣的人，詹姆斯。

Wait, what does that mean?

等等，這是什麼意思？

It's a little bit weird that he's here.

他在這裡滿奇怪的。

He says, he says it's a little bit weird that I'm here.

他說我在這很奇怪。

Does it feel a little bit weird that I'm here?

我在這裡很奇怪嗎？

Okay.

好。

So, I'm going to put you through a few 007 scenarios and see how you fair.

我要請你們演幾幕 007 的情節，看你們表現怎麼樣。

So let's get you suited and booted.

現在請兩位著裝吧。

- Perfect. - Perfect.

- 太好了。 - 沒問題。

And cut. That was great.

卡，太棒了。

Fantastic.

太完美了。

James?

詹姆斯？

No, I can't do this. I look ridiculous.

不行，我看起來太愚蠢了。

I think you look good.

我覺得你看起來很棒。

I look like Austin Powers.

我像在演《王牌大賤諜》

Well, I mean it is an interesting choice of suit.

恩，那是件有趣的西裝。

But that is not the one we put in your room.

但那不是我們放在你房間的西裝。

What are you talking about? This was the suit that was hanging in my room.

你在說什麼？這件就是掛在我房裡的西裝。

Some one must have changed it.

可能有人調包了吧。

Yes. Someone must have, David.

沒錯，一定是有人調包，大衛。

Okay.

好。

Okay. I see what's going on here.

我知道發生什麼事了。

Okay, James, so we're going to try something else, okay?

好，詹姆斯，我們試試別的，好嗎？

A kind of classic James Bond seduction scene.

經典的詹姆斯龐德誘惑場景。

All right. Shouldn't be a problem.

沒問題，小事一件。

Well, hello there, Miss Hemlock. It's quite a view from here.

你好，漢姆洛克小姐，這真是一番美景啊。

Perhaps we should slip into something a little more comfortable.

或許我們應該一起換個更舒服衣服。

Hi, I'm David Beckham.

嗨，我是大衛貝克漢。

I want to sleep with him.

我想要跟他共度良宵。

Oh, come on, that's not fair. That's not fair. That isn't fair. What is he doing?

拜託，太不公平了吧。不公平！他在幹嘛？

Cut, David. What are you doing?

卡，大衛，你在做什麼？

What are you doing?

你在做什麼？

I thought that was my cue.

我以為那是給我的提示。

Cue for what?

什麼提示？

- Can we start again, please? - You can go.

- 再來一次好嗎？謝謝。 - 你可以走了。

- All right. - Go on. There you go. - Should I go?

- 好吧。 - 快走，那邊請。 - 我該離開嗎？

Yes. You Should.

是的。

- See you later. - What was your problem?

- 待會見。- 你有什麼問題？

Unbelievable.

真不敢置信。

Well, hello there, Miss Hemlock. Perhaps you would like to slip into something more comfortable.

你好，漢姆洛克小姐，想一起換件舒適的衣服嗎？

Oh my God.

我的天啊。

That's disgusting.

太噁心了。

What is this?

這什麼情況？

- Spy [bleep] over there. - I'm not dealing with that. No way. - Cut. Cut.

- 我是天殺的間諜，過來吧。 - 我不接受，辦不到。 - 卡，卡。

- I can't do this. I can't do that.

- 我做不到。

- Bond would. -No, he wouldn't.

- 龐德就會這麼做。 - 他才不會。

- Who wants the part more? - Okay, stop it.

- 誰更想要這個角色？ - 好了，停。

I'm not doing anything.

我又沒做什麼。

Stop it.

停止。

I don't see what the problems is.

我不知道問題在哪。

Stop it.

停下。

You stop it.

你才停止。

- You stop it. - He'll stop it.

- 你停止。 - 他會停止。

I'm not starting it.

我根本沒開始。

Okay, David, so this is your final screen test.

大衛，這是你最後一場試鏡。

I just want you to do a basic James Bond introduction lines.

講基本的詹姆斯龐德介紹台詞就好。

So, let's just see if you can do that without mucking about.

看你能不能順利演完，不胡搞瞎搞。

Okay.

好。

Huit a la banque.

莊家八點。

I admire your courage Miss...

我欣賞你的勇氣，這位…

Hemlock, Bunny Hemlock, I admire your luck, Mr...

漢姆洛克，邦妮漢姆洛克，我欣賞你的運氣，這位…

Bond, James Bond.

龐德，詹姆斯龐德。

No, no, no, You can't do it like that.

不，不行，你不能這樣講。

You can't say it like that. That is terrible. That's rubbish.

你不能這樣講，太糟了，簡直是垃圾。

All right. How would you do it?

不然你會怎麼演？

Easy, say the name is Bond, James Bond.

簡單，我的名字是龐德，詹姆斯龐德。

That is Sean Connery. You're just doing Sean Connery.

那是史恩康納萊，你只是在學史恩康納萊。

No, I'm not.

我才沒有。

Yes, you are.

你就是。

No, I'm not.

我沒有。

Yes, you are.

你有。

At least I don't sound like a girl.

至少我聽起來不像個女生。

At least I don't look like Shrek.

至少我看起來不像史瑞克。

Right, you want to go?

想出去打一架嗎？

Dont' you dare.

你敢。

Try again. See what happens.

再來一次，看會發生什麼事。

Stop it, okay? Stop it. Stop it.

別鬧了，好嗎？停止、停止。

That's enough. That's enough.

夠了、夠了。

This has been a total waste of time. I would like you both to leave.

完全是浪費時間，你們兩個都給我走。

What? So I didn't get the part.

所以我沒有得到角色？

No.

沒有。

What about me?

那我呢？

No. You are both utterly unprofessional.

也沒有，你們兩個一點專業精神都沒有。

This audition is over.

試鏡結束了。

Fine.

好吧。

Fine, yeah. Don't call us. We'll call you.

對，別打給我們，我們會打給你。

What are we doing? We shouldn't be fighting like this.

我們在幹嘛？我們不應該像這樣內鬨的。

I know.

我知道。

We are a team.

我們是同一隊的。

We should be working together.

應該要同心協力。

I love you, man.

我愛你，老兄。

I love you, too.

我也愛你。

I have an idea.

我有個點子。

Let's go.

走吧！

This summer, crime will pay.

今年夏天，罪犯會付出代價。

David Beckham is Batman and James Corden is Robin.

大衛貝克漢飾演蝙蝠俠，詹姆斯柯登飾演羅賓。

Crush them.

打垮他們。

My thanks to David Beckham for helping me wrap up our week here in London.

謝謝大衛貝克漢幫我完成這週在倫敦的節目。

Watch everything we've done, including Emily Blunt and I performing a modern soundtrack to Romeo and Juliet.

點擊觀看我們的所有節目，包括我和艾蜜莉布朗錄製的現代版羅密歐與茱麗葉原聲帶。

You can see all of that right here.

點這裡可以看到所有內容。