and I'm super pumped to bring back a previous collaborator

我被以前的合作夥伴力拱回來

due to some amazing feedback.

由於先前大家反應不錯

I hope you guys enjoy!

我希望各位也能喜歡！

- Hey, Improvement Pill here.

嘿，這些有些增強藥丸

And for those of you guys who don't know who I am,

那些不知道我是誰的人

I run a channel very similar to Practical Psychology's.

其實我經營非常類似實務心理學的頻道

And today we're going to be talking about something

今天我們來談一些事

that I'm sure a lot of you guys have problems with.

我相信你們很多人都有類似的疑問。

Let me ask you a question:

問你們一個問題

Have you ever had a hard time coming up with things to talk about?

你有沒有碰過，曾經想起有些事想要跟別人說

Your brain ever just freeze and you end up with

腦袋卻一時僵住，最後以

a long, awkward silence?

一段長時間、笨拙的沈寂而結束?

Well today I'm going to be sharing with you

嗯，今天我就要和你們分享

four extremely powerful topics

四項超有效的主題

that you can talk to just about anyone.

讓你能和別人輕鬆交談

Learning and using these four topics will allow you

學會並使用這四項主題，可以讓你

to build large amounts of rapport with just about anyone

與任何人建立起大量友好的關係

and will also allow you to create long lasting friendships.

並且還將讓你創建長久的友誼

An easy way to remember these four

一個簡單的方法記住這四個方法

is through an acronym I like to call "FORD."

透過我想稱為「FORD」的縮寫

So let's jump right into it.

讓我們直接切入主題吧

F stands for Family.

F 代表家庭

Everyone has some sort of family.

每個人都被家庭所繫絆

They are an integral part of our lives.

他們是我們生活中不可或缺的一部分。

They are the first people that we get to know,

家人也是我們最先認識的人

and for that reason, we hold a special place in our hearts for them.

也因此，在我們的心底都會為家人開闢出專屬區域

Studies have found time and time again that

研究一再發現

when people share family related matters with strangers,

當人們與陌生人分享家庭事務時，

they feel significantly closer to them afterwards.

之後會感覺到與他們無比的親近

Now, the main problem with speaking about family

現在，來談談有關家庭的主要問題

is that it can sometimes come off very strong

它的威力有時會變得很強大

if you ask someone about their family upfront.

如果你想先引出某些人講出他們的家庭

What you need to do instead is branch the conversation

你只需要稍微繞開一下對話

in a way so that the topic of family naturally pops up.

某種程度，家庭的話題就會很自然地跳出來

Here's two way to go about doing this:

以下有兩種方式可以照著做

The first is by talking about your family first.

首先是先講自己的家庭

Let's say, for example, you're at a party

比方說，例如你正在一場舞會上

and you're talking with some girls,

你正在和一群美眉聊天

and you notice there's a very loud, excited guy

你注意到有個很吵、很興奮的傢伙

on the dance floor.

在舞池中扭個不停

You could say something like this:

你可以這樣說

"You see that guy over there?

看到那邊那個傢夥了嗎？

He really reminds me of my older brother,

他真的讓我想起了我哥

who's always energetic and not afraid to let loose.

精力充沛，而且完全不怕展現自己

I feel like older siblings are always like that.

我認為哥哥姐姐都是這樣的

Do you have any siblings?"

你有兄弟姐妹嗎?

By saying something like this,

用這種方式開頭

you direct the converstation towards family

你就會把話題導向家庭

and you also make the initiative to open up first.

而你也率先主動開放

This gives her an opportunity to talk about her siblings

這讓她有機會，談她自己的兄弟姐妹

without having to have her guard up.

而不是對你築起圍牆

If she doesn't have any siblings,

如果她正好是獨生女，

you could say something along the lines of,

你一樣可以沿著這條軸線繼續說下去

"Oh, do you ever wish you had one?"

哦，你有沒有想過，自己有個兄弟姐妹？

Again, the conversation is re-directed towards family,

再一次，這個對話又被導引回到家庭上

and the transition seems smooth.

而整個過場非常平順

Now the second way to get someone

現在，再來看第二種讓人

to talk about their family

談論他們家庭

is by using what are called "non-sequiturs."

藉著使用所謂的「非序曲」的方式

Basically, assumptions that you make about someone.

基本上，你得先假設某人。

For example, let's say you meet someone new

例如，假設你剛好新認識某人

at the bar.

在酒吧上

You can say something like,

你可以這樣開口

"You know, you look like you come from a big family."

「你知道嗎，你看起來像是來自一個大家庭」

Non-sequiturs like this accomplish two things:

像這樣的非序曲，達成兩件事

They create a sense of curiosity,

它們創造出一種好奇心，

leading to questions like,

會導引出像這樣的問題

"Uhm... why do you think I come from a big family?"

嗯...你為什麼會認為我來自一個大家庭？

They also sometimes cause the listener to correct your statement.

他們有時也會讓聽者跳出來糾正你的說法

Maybe they don't come from a big family,

也許他們確實不是來自大家庭

and they start talking about it.

但他們已經開始談起家庭

Maybe they do come from a big family,

也許他們正好來自一個大家庭

and they go into details about it.

他們就會深入細節來說明

The second topic is O,

第二個主題叫做 O

which stands for "occupation."

代表職業

They say that 45% of our lives

據說人類45%的人生

are spent on our occupation.

都花在工作上

Whether it be at school, or at work,

不管是在學，或者在工作上

it's definitely a big part of our lives.

肯定佔去我們生命中的一大部分

Speaking about someone's occupation

談起個人的職業或工作

is actually very common.

實際上非常平常

It's considered surface-level conversation.

它常被認為是很表面的對話

You've probably heard lines like,

你很可能聽過很多人這樣說過

"What's your major?"

「你的專業是什麼？」

dozens of times before.

幾百次了吧

The key to speaking about occupation

關鍵就在於談論工作

is not to dwell on these surface-level questions

不要再討論這些表面層次的問題

and instead quickly jump into a deeper conversation.

而是要深入鑽研到更深層的對話

For example, let's say you're on a date,

例如，假設你正在約會

and you ask her what she does for a living.

你想問她靠什麼過活

She says, "I'm a schoolteacher."

她說，我是學校老師

A lot of people make the following mistake;

很多人會犯了以下的錯誤

they go, "Okay,

他們會接著說「好呀」

what subject do you teach?"

那你教什麼科呢?

"Okay, what school do you teach at?"

「好，你在哪個學校教呢?」

"Okay, how old are the kids you teach?"

「好，你教幾歲的小朋友呢?」

When you ask question upon question,

當你問出以上問題

you enter what's called "interview mode,"

你就進入所謂的「面試模式」

and it's very uncomfortable for the listener.

會讓聽者很不自在

What you want to do instead

此時，你應該做的反而是

is to add a comment before asking another question.

在問另一個問題前，先加進一則評語

For example, let's say she says,

比方說，假設她說的是

"Oh, I'm a teacher."

喔，我是個老師

You could say something along the lines of,

你可以順著這個話題軸線沿伸著說

"Wow, you know, when I was younger,

哇，你知道，我小時候

I always wanted to be a teacher.

就一直想要當個老師

There's something about inspiring others

如此一來，就會啟發對方

that's very fulfilling."

這樣很踏實

By saying something like this,

透過這樣的表達

you're adding a little bit about what YOU feel

你為她的工作，多加了一些

about her occupation before asking the next question.

感受，在問下個問題之前

This leads to significantly deeper topics than,

讓這個話題顯著地加深

"Oh, what school do you work at?"

遠比「哦，你教哪個學校呢?」更深刻

When meeting a stranger,

遇到陌生人

talking about occupation first

先談工作

is usually the best bet.

常是最佳的賭注

This is because out of the four topics,

這是因為在我們的四個主題中

occupation is talked about the most.

工作往往可以著力最深

They feel extremely comfortable talking about it.

而且對方在談工作時，通常也最舒服自在

The next topic is R,

下一個主題是 R

which stands for "recreation."

代表休閒娛樂

Everyone has some sort of recreational activity.

每個人總有些休閒活動

It could be an interest, or a hobby,

它可能是個人興趣或是嗜好

sometimes it's even something that

有時它甚至會是

they're very passionate about.

他們非常熱衷的事物

Similar to talking about occupation,

跟談論工作相仿

you want to ask surface-level questions

你要先詢問表面層次的問題

while adding comments in between.

然後在其間加上評論

An easy way to lead a conversation

要輕鬆地帶入對話

into talking about recreation is by simply asking,

讓雙方開始談論休閒活動，只要簡單地問：

"What do you like to do?"

你都做些什麼活動呀?

Yes, I know it's cliche, but it works very well.

是啦，我知道它有點老套，但它卻是非常有效

Recreation can sometimes be

休閒活動有時

a little bit harder to talk about than occupation,

會比談工作，稍微有些難度

because oftentimes, you'll meet someone

因為常常，你會碰到某些人

who likes to do something you know nothing about.

他們做些你完全一無所知的事

Don't worry, because in these cases,

但別擔心，正因為這些案例

all you have to do is approach the conversation

你只需開啟對話

with the following mentality:

以下列這種心理

Why is this activity so exciting for him or her?

什麼活動為什麼可以讓他／她如此興奮?

Let's say for example

讓我們打個比方

you meet someone who tells you

你碰到一個人這樣跟你說

they like rock climbing

他們喜歡礬岩

and you've never done it before,

而這一項活動你以前根本從未碰過

you could say something along the lines of,

但你還是可以沿著這條軸線說

"Oh, that's cool, I've always thought

喔，好酷喔，我以前總想

rock climbing was an interesting sport.

攀岩應該是很有趣的運動

Why do you like it so much?"

但你為什麼這麼喜歡它呀?

Questions like these really make the other person

如此問法會讓其他人

feel like they're being listened to.

覺得他們受到傾聽

They also allow the other person to really dive deep

他們也會讓其它人真正深入

and explain to you why they enjoy

而且向你解釋他們為何享受

their recreational activity as much as they do.

這項活動，而且樂此不疲

The final topic is D,

最後一個主題是D

which stands for "dreams."

代表「夢想」

Without a doubt, this is the most powerful topic you can talk to someone about.

毫無疑問地，這在所有話題中是個很好聊的主題

Everyone has a dream that they are pursuing

每個人都有個夢想要去追求

or wish they could be pursuing,

或著希望他們能如願以償

and this topic is especially powerful nowadays

而這項主題在今日，特別具有威力

because the average person does not

因為一般人，通常不會

get to pursue their dream.

努力逐夢

Oftentimes it's because there is very little support

常常是因為少有外力支持

found in our society.

在我們的社會之中

Most people are told to just get conventional jobs

大多數人都被告知去找個正常工作

instead of pursuing their passions by everyone around them,

身邊的人都不要追尋熱情

including their parents and friends.

包括他們的父母和朋友

So if you step in and show that you are supportive

所以，一旦你踏進入並顯示，你支持

of their dreams, they begin to think very fondly of you.

他們的夢想，他們會開始對你有興趣

Dreams are oftentimes the hardest things to

夢想有時很難去

get people to open up about,

讓人們敞開胸懷

and this is why it's the last of the four topics

這就是它為何會是四個主題中的最後一個

I like to bring up with someone.

我喜歡和別人閒話家常

You want to make sure you've built

你應該確定你已經建立

a sufficient amount of rapport before leading the conversation towards dreams

足夠的關係，然後才將話題導向夢想

in order to get truly meaningful responses.

這樣才能獲得真正有意義的回應

So I'll share with you guys

所以我會和大家分享一下

two tricks that I personally use

我個人常用的兩個技巧

to redirect the conversation towards dreams.

將對話轉引向夢想

Number 1:

第一

Sometimes you'll get an idea

有時候，你會知道

of what a person's dream is, by talking

別人的夢想是什麼，這是你在

about their recreational activity.

跟他們聊休閒活動時知道的

If they mention that they like to draw,

如果他們提到自己喜歡畫畫

their dream might be to become an artist one day.

他們夢想可能是某一天能成為一名藝術家

So the first trick is to use this information

所以第一個技巧就是使用這個訊息

and make an educated guess.

並且做出有意義的猜測

So for the person who likes to draw,

所以對於喜歡畫畫的人來說

you might ask,

你可能會問說

"Have you ever thought about becoming an artist for a living?"

「你有沒有想過要成為藝術家來維生？」

And as you can see, this can easily lead

如你所見，這很容易導致

to deeper conversation.

更進一步的對話

Now, the second way - my most favorite way -

現在，第二種方式 ，我最喜歡的方式 -

to get someone to open up about their dreams,

讓某人打開他們的夢想

is to talk about the bigger picture.

就是來談談更大的願景

Now, what does that mean?

但現在，這是什麼意思呢？

Well, sometimes I'll be on a date,

嗯，有時我會約會

and I'll be walking with a girl through a park

我會和一個女孩相偕走過一個公園

and I'll just look at the night sky and say,

我會看著夜空說

"Just look up there, the universe is so vast.

「只要仰望那裡，宇宙如此巨大

It's so big. I feel like our lives have more meaning

宇宙太大了，我覺得我們的生活應該有更多的意涵

than just working a 9-to-5.

而非只是朝九晚五的工作

You ever dream of accomplishing something bigger

你是否曾夢想過要做更大的事

than what you're doing right now?"

遠比你現在正在做的事？

Yes, it's super cheesy, but again, it works.

是啦，這有點落於俗套，但再說一次，它很有效

It redirects the conversation to dreams.

它將會把話是重新導引到夢想

I also like to ask questions like,

我也想問這類問題

"What's something you want to do before you die?"

「在你死前，你最想做什麼事？」

I like to make the question relevant

我提的這個問題

to the things happening around me.

會跟我日常生活的事情有所關連

Maybe I'll be at a bookstore with someone,

也許我會跟某人在某個書店

and I see a biography of someone who's passed away.

翻到剛剛過世的某個人的自傳

Or maybe I'll be on the bus with someone

或者我會和某人一起搭著公車

and we'll drive past a cemetery.

經過一座公墓

And there you have it,

你就可以這樣開場了

these are the four topics that you can talk

以上是你可以談論的四個主題

to anyone about.

對任何人

These are the same four topics I used

這些是我常用的四個主題

back in the day when I was a door-to-door salesperson.

我那時候是一位挨家挨戶上門推銷的銷售人員

In those days, I was forced to build

過去的日子裡，我被迫

a large amount of trust with absolute strangers

與陌生人建立起信任

in under an hour,

而且在一個小時之內就得達成

and convince them to give me

並說服他們給我

their social security number for credit checks

社會安全碼來查核信用卡資料

and their credit card information for the actual purchase.

或是信用卡資訊來購買東西

So I can swear by these four topics.

我可以用這四個話題發誓

If you guys enjoyed this video,

如果你們還喜歡這段短片

please check out my channel Improvement Pill

請查看我的「改善藥丸」頻道

for more similar concepts and ideas.

有更多類似的概念和想法

- Leave a comment below if you'd like more of

並在底留下評論，而如果你還喜歡

Improvement Pill's stuff on this channel.

在這個頻道裡的改善藥丸

And go check out his videos if you haven't already,

就來看看，你還沒有看過的短片

they're freakin' amazing!

它們會讓你很驚豔

Thanks for watching, and subscribe for more.

感謝你的觀賞，並記得訂閱喔