Name: 如何不冷場的對話 (How to Never Run out of Things to Say - Keep a Conversation Flowing!)
Uploaded: 2017-06-02T02:09:07.000Z
Duration: 7 min 40 s

嗨，大家好，這裡是實務心理學頻道

and I'm super pumped to bring back a previous collaborator

And for those of you guys who don't know who I am,

I run a channel very similar to Practical Psychology's.

其實我經營非常類似實務心理學的頻道

And today we're going to be talking about something

that I'm sure a lot of you guys have problems with.

我相信你們很多人都有類似的疑問。

Have you ever had a hard time coming up with things to talk about?

你有沒有碰過，曾經想起有些事想要跟別人說

Your brain ever just freeze and you end up with

一段長時間、笨拙的沈寂而結束?

Well today I'm going to be sharing with you

Learning and using these four topics will allow you

學會並使用這四項主題，可以讓你

to build large amounts of rapport with just about anyone

與任何人建立起大量友好的關係

and will also allow you to create long lasting friendships.

一個簡單的方法記住這四個方法

is through an acronym I like to call "FORD."

他們是我們生活中不可或缺的一部分。

They are the first people that we get to know,

and for that reason, we hold a special place in our hearts for them.

也因此，在我們的心底都會為家人開闢出專屬區域

Studies have found time and time again that

when people share family related matters with strangers,

當人們與陌生人分享家庭事務時，

they feel significantly closer to them afterwards.

之後會感覺到與他們無比的親近

Now, the main problem with speaking about family

現在，來談談有關家庭的主要問題

is that it can sometimes come off very strong

if you ask someone about their family upfront.

如果你想先引出某些人講出他們的家庭

What you need to do instead is branch the conversation

in a way so that the topic of family naturally pops up.

某種程度，家庭的話題就會很自然地跳出來

The first is by talking about your family first.

Let's say, for example, you're at a party

比方說，例如你正在一場舞會上

and you notice there's a very loud, excited guy

你注意到有個很吵、很興奮的傢伙

He really reminds me of my older brother,

who's always energetic and not afraid to let loose.

精力充沛，而且完全不怕展現自己

I feel like older siblings are always like that.

you direct the converstation towards family

and you also make the initiative to open up first.

This gives her an opportunity to talk about her siblings

這讓她有機會，談她自己的兄弟姐妹

you could say something along the lines of,

你一樣可以沿著這條軸線繼續說下去

哦，你有沒有想過，自己有個兄弟姐妹？

Again, the conversation is re-directed towards family,

再一次，這個對話又被導引回到家庭上

is by using what are called "non-sequiturs."

藉著使用所謂的「非序曲」的方式

Basically, assumptions that you make about someone.

For example, let's say you meet someone new

"You know, you look like you come from a big family."

「你知道嗎，你看起來像是來自一個大家庭」

Non-sequiturs like this accomplish two things:

"Uhm... why do you think I come from a big family?"

嗯...你為什麼會認為我來自一個大家庭？

They also sometimes cause the listener to correct your statement.

他們有時也會讓聽者跳出來糾正你的說法

肯定佔去我們生命中的一大部分

It's considered surface-level conversation.

is not to dwell on these surface-level questions

不要再討論這些表面層次的問題

and instead quickly jump into a deeper conversation.

而是要深入鑽研到更深層的對話

and you ask her what she does for a living.

A lot of people make the following mistake;

you enter what's called "interview mode,"

and it's very uncomfortable for the listener.

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