Man vs. Pin

Man vs. Pin

At this f*cking point it feels

在這天殺的時刻，節目感覺

like Man vs. Roses

更像是Man vs. Roses

because

因為

I'm not sure if you were here for the video that I released a couple days ago

我不確定你有沒有看到我幾天前發布的影片

where I made wire roses

我做了一些金屬絲玫瑰

Out of wire

用鐵絲做的

I thought that maybe that would be a good idea

我以為這是個好點子

Turns out that it's not

結果不如預期

It looks like an egg beater

它看起來像是打蛋器

They're all tangled together and whatnot.

它們全部都打結在一起了

This could be a perfect whisk

這可以當個完美的攪拌器

Rob: Yeah- no, no, I got it. It's a- it's a rose

Yeah...不，不，我懂你的意思，但它是玫瑰

Needless to say, uh,

不用我多說，呃

Moral of the story, don't give your significant other

這個故事告訴我們，不要給你的另一半

A bouquet of junk

一大束的垃圾

For Valentine's Day

當情人節禮物

So I promised I would make it up to her, but that means

我承諾我會補償她，但這就表示

Pulling out the f*cking big guns.

該是時候使出殺手鐧了

Now, if you know Corinne

嗯，如果你了解Corinne

You know that she is a big fan of the pizza.

你會知道她非常喜愛比薩

And so when I saw this on f*cking Pinterest the other day

所以當我某天在他X的Pinterest上看到這東西

I knew that this was the f*cking bouquet of roses

我就知道這就是那他X的花束

That needed to be made.

需要被創作出來

Pizza roses! Boom.

比薩玫瑰！碰！

*kaboom*

＊腦漿爆炸＊

F*cking ge - I - Genius!

他X的天...我...天才

Just genius!

只能說...天才！

Pin-O-Meter! What do you think Buddy?

Pin-O-Meter!兄弟，你覺得如何？

You. Right there.

你，就是你

Maybe you should just buy Corinne some real roses

也許你應該買一些真的玫瑰給Corinne

You cheap son of a bitch

你這個吝嗇的混蛋

Eh, you know, I hadn't really thought about that

呃，你知道嗎，我沒有想到那樣做耶

Instead I walked right past the flower section, actually.

事實上，我直接路過了賣花的區域

Uh, and I got a bunch of pizza-making supplies.

嗯，然後我買了一堆做比薩的材料

I got, uh, some pizza dough.

我有，呃，一些比薩麵團

Premade because f*ck all that nonsense.

麵團是預先做好的，因為他X的

I'm not going through that process.

我可不要經歷那段無意義程序

Pepperoni

義大利辣味香腸

Mozzarella cheese

莫札瑞拉起司

Basil

羅勒

And, uh, all the rest of the bullsh*t that I needed.

以及所有我需要的鬼東西

Let's f*cking do this thing

我們來開始吧！

Step One: Get yourself some, uh...

步驟一：拿來一些...

papier parchemin?

羊皮紙？

Oh, parchment paper! Get yourself some parchment paper.

喔！烤盤紙！ 給自己拿一點烤盤紙

And then you got this pizza dough over here

然後這裡有一些比薩麵團

Oh, God damn it

喔，天殺的

I need a f*cking roller to roll this f*cking sh*t out

我需要他X的桿麵棍來把麵團桿開

Got the f*cking roller

拿到他X的桿麵棍了

Flour... right?

撒些麵粉...對吧？

I think that's what all the f*cking pros do, right?

我想那些專業大師就是這樣做的，對吧？

Then you take this. You do a little bit of this

之後，拿起這個，再做一些動作

I think that's called kneading the dough

我想這叫做麵團揉捏法

Flip it in the air a little bit

把他在空中翻一翻

Hey, ho, what do you know?

Hey,ho,你猜怎麼著？

I speak Italian.

我會說義大利文

F*cking Buca di Beppo, eh?

他X的Buca di Beppo，蛤？

All right, and now, I think you take this thing and you do a little...

好的，現在，我想你要拿這個東西然後桿一下...

Oh, that feels good.

喔！這感覺不錯

Parchment paper probably...

烤盤紙好像有點...

Just gonna take that out of the way

只要把它拿走

You're not helping.

你沒有在幫忙:(

'kay, here we go. Here we go.

好的，開始囉，動手吧

nope nope nope nope nope

不不不不不

This is a f*cking workout!

這是個他X的運動呀

Whoo!

呼！

What the f*ck is even happening with this dough?

這團麵團到底發生了什麼事？！

Damn it, it's sticking to the f*cking table everywhere.

該死！它黏得桌子到處都是

I've seen this before in the f*cking... in the movies

我曾經在電影裡看過這招

With the... with the fists.

用...用拳頭揍它

Oh, come on!

喔！別鬧了！

This is f*cking bullsh*t

這他X的太糞了

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~

Oh. You're still there.

喔，你還在看

All right! Let's, uhhh...

好吧！我們來...呃...

Figure this out.

想點辦法

I'm gonna get a- I'm gonna get a marble slab

我要去拿...我要去拿一塊大理石板

Maybe that'll work. I don't f*cking know.

也許會有用，我也不確定

Here we go. Marble slab

拿來了，大理石板

Some flour on there

撒些麵粉上去

Knead the sh*t out of this thing

狠狠揉捏這個鬼東西

Not sure how much better this is, but it's not sticking.

不確定這樣有沒有比較好，至少他沒有再黏住了

You have better f*cking love the f*ck out of whoever you are giving this f*cking thing to

你一定愛死了即將收到禮物的那個人

Because let me tell you what

因為我老實跟你說

This is not an easy job

這不是個輕鬆的工作

Rolling out f*cking dough

桿開他X的麵團

All right, that is close enough.

好的，差不多可以了

All right, now I'm taking the pizza cutter.

現在我拿出比薩刀

Oh, that's nice. Look at that!

喔！這還不錯，看看這個！

Some professional f*cking sh*t here. Boom.

一些他X的專業動作，碰！

NICE

很棒

Good f*cking job!

做得不錯！

Not you, me. Just so the record is clear.

不是講你，是我，需要釐清一下

So I got my strips, now I'm just gonna take this, uh

所以麵團條做好了，我現在要拿這個

marinara sauce.

義大利紅醬

Okay. F*ckin' got it. Whoo!

Okay，他X的打開了，呼！

All right, now you just wanna take that

好的，現在你只要拿那個

marinara sauce and you just kinda want to give it a sweet little f*ckin' coat to it all.

義大利紅醬，然後你只要給它全部好好的鋪上一層

Looking pretty good so far.

目前為止看起來不錯

I mean, it's basic pizza sh*t.

我是指，這是基本的比薩製作

Marinara sauce, mozzarella, or as they say la MOOZARELL.

義大利紅醬、莫札瑞拉，或是他們所說的la MOOZARELL

The cheese, this is like the glue that holds it all together. So, you know, be generous if you like glue

起司，就像是膠水一樣黏著所有東西，所以你知道的， 不要吝嗇，如果你喜歡膠水的話

*Sigh*

哈~

Then you just f*cking pile up these pepperoni.

接下來你就可以排列這些辣味香腸

This is what love is, by the way.

順帶一提，這就是愛呀

Pizza. That's it. That's all it is.

比薩，這就是了，愛就是這樣了

Now you just fold this up along the edge.

現在你只要沿著邊緣折起來

I think that's how I remember it.

我印象中是這樣子做

And then watch this sh*t. Now you just roll it.

然後看好了，你只要捲起來

Whaaat?!

什麼？！？！

That is some f*cking pro sh*t!

那真是專業的技巧

This is f*cking amazing!

這他X的太棒了

Alright, I'm excited.

好好好，我很興奮

And now take your little cupcake tin over here, spray some sh*t down.

然後把你的小杯子蛋糕模具拿過來，噴一些鬼東西上去

And pop that one in! Boom.

把那一個放下去，碰！

Now I'm just gonna take this size and this size

現在我要拿這個尺寸和這個尺寸的

and kinda create like a little f*cking

大概創造出一種

big petal little petal kinda bullsh*t right here.

大花瓣小花瓣間隔的鬼東西

This is gonna, this is where it gets artistic

這個將要...開始從這裡變得很藝術了

Then you put the cheese on

之後把起司撒上去

you close it up like a little pizza taco!

你把它蓋起來，像是小小的比薩捲餅

Look at that!

看看這個！

Can you see that?

你看得到嗎？

That's some real f*cking deal rose-sh*t right there.

這朵比薩玫瑰可不是在唬爛的

Alright! Back in focus here.

好的！把聚焦調回來

Lookin' pretty good!

看起來不賴

Oh Yeah! This is such a good idea!

喔耶！這真是個好點子！

The next step, takin' 'em to the oven!

下一步，把他們送去烤箱

And I'm just throwin' them, uh, into a preheated 350 degree oven for... I don't know. Let's say 20 minutes.

然後把他們丟進這個預熱350度的烤箱烤個... 我不確定，大概20分鐘吧

Oh sh*t! Here they are.

喔，sh*t！烤好了

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Damn!

什麼？！？！？！太棒了！

*beep* Shut the f*ck up!

＊嗶＊給我閉嘴

Oh sh*t!

喔~~~~sh*t~~~~

Alright! Here they are!

好的！這就是了！

Look at this one! oh! Woo!

看看這一個！喔！嗚~~

They're hot they're hot they're hot they're hot they're hot!

很燙很燙很燙很燙，他們很燙！

And they're soft.

而且很軟

Agh! God damn it!

啊！天殺的！

Tray is still hot. Tray. Is still. Hot.

烤盤還很燙，烤盤、還是、很燙

Woo!

嗚！！

Alright.

好的

Ow! God damn it!

嗷嗚！天殺的！

These look f*cking amazing!

這些看起來超棒的

Oh my God, I can't wait to eat one of these f*cking things.

我的天吶，我等不及要吃一個了

Whaaat in the actual f*ck?!

這他X的...

Then you take this f*cking basil over here and watch this sh*t.

你拿起這邊的羅勒後，仔細看好

Ooooh! Damn!

喔！好耶！

That is some f*cking

這真是他X的

Chef Boyardee f*cking bullsh*t right there!

Boyardee主廚的完美作品

Damn! I'm good.

該死！我真是太厲害了！

That's the f*cking thumbnail right there!

這就是我的封面圖了

Alright, she's gonna f*cking...

好的，她一定會非常的...

This is it! Alright, I gotta deliver 'em.

這就是了！好，我要去送禮物了

While they're hot! I gotta get 'em outta here!

我必須趁熱拿出去

Here they come! Pizza roses!

比薩玫瑰來囉！

Actually I'm gonna...

其實我要...

heh...

哈哈...

I'm actually gonna taste one of these myself.

我其實要試吃一個看看

First!

頭香！

Oh my God!

我的天呀~

Mmmm!

*嚼*

Yes!

讚！

Ok... enough... I'm gonna take these down to Corinne.

Ok，吃夠了，我要拿這些去給Corinne

Look at that!

你看看

Alright, come on!

好啦~走吧~

Don't fall down the stairs.

別跌下樓梯

Don't fall down the stairs.

別跌下樓梯

Don't fall down the stairs.

千萬別跌下樓梯

Happyyyyyy Valentine's Dayyyyyy

情人節快樂樂樂樂(*´∀`)~♥

Pizza Roses!

比薩玫瑰！！！

C: Wow!

Wow!

R: Huh?!

如何？！

C: I'm pretty impressed

我挺感動的

that's a good God damn idea!

那是個很棒的想法

R: A little bit better than last time!

比上次好了一點

C: Ah

嗯

Definitely better than the last round of roses.

絕對比上一輪的玫瑰好很多

It's pretty f*cking clever.

這點子滿聰明的

I am blown away.

我對你刮目相看

R: Oh, are you?

喔？是嗎？

C: I am, I may shed a tear.

對呀，我可能流了一點點眼淚出來

R: These are f*cking delicious lookin'.

這些看起來超級美味

C: This is the best thing you've ever done for me.

這是你為我做過最好的一件事

R: What?!

什麼？！Σ(ﾟдﾟ)

C: Uh, I mean, yeah.

呃，我是說，沒錯呀

I mean, can I eat one?

我是說，我可以吃一個嗎？

R: Yeah!

當然！

C: Where are the f*cking stems?

玫瑰花莖在哪裡呢？

R: It's a plate. It's a whole thing.

莖用盤子代替，這是一整組的

R: The basil...

羅勒葉...

C: It is pretty with the basil. Oh yeah. That's a good idea.

和搭配起來羅勒葉很美，喔對， 那是個好想法

C: You didn't even... What the f*ck is this?

你根本沒有...這他X的是什麼？

R: It's just the basil.

就只是羅勒

C: You didn't take it apart or anything

你沒有把它分開來之類的

C:Which way? Just like-

怎麼吃？就像...

R: Epic Meal Time that sh*t!

像Epic Meal Time一樣大口吃

C: Haha. Ok

哈哈，好喔

R: Oooh! Yeaaaahhh!

喔耶~~~~

R: Huh?!

怎樣？

C: HmHm

嗯哼~

R: Now I gotta eat one of these too-

我也該吃一個

C: Yeah, I think you should try it.

對呀，我想你應該嚐嚐看

C: Is there cheese in here?

這裡面有起司嗎？

R: Yeah!

有啊！

R: Well that's the tip: More cheese!

好吧，要記下來：更多起司！

C: Hehehe

呵呵呵

R: But otherwise "Today success!"

除此之外，今日大成功！

C: Yeah, they're pretty delicious.

對呀，他們挺美味的

R: Cheers!

乾杯！

R: To pizza roses.

敬比薩玫瑰

C: Did you have to wipe it on my hand?

你一定要把它抹在我手上嗎？

C: Ok... Alright...Thanks...

OK...好了...謝囉

C: What are you really getting me for Valentine's Day?

但你真的要送我什麼情人節禮物？

R: I dunno.

我不知道

C: It's a dumb holiday anyway. So don't... I don't really want anything.

那是個蠢節日，所以我不需要收到什麼東西

R: You heard it straight from her mouth

你聽到她說出來了

she doesn't want anything.

她不想要任何東西

Awesome! I'll just take these back then.

讚！我就可以拿回這些

C: Wait! I do now, wait wait wait! No no no

等等！我想要禮物了！等等， 不不不，除了這些

R: No, no, I'm sorry.

不不不，我很抱歉

Just take these back right here.

把這些拿回來

C: Hehehe... Stop!

呵呵呵...停下來！

R: Let go, let go.

放手，放手

C: No!

不要！(ﾟ皿ﾟﾒ)

They're mine!

他們是我的！(ﾟ皿ﾟﾒ)

Go away!

走開！

R: Hehehe... Happy Valentine's Day!

情人節快樂((中指

C: Bye!

掰掰

Hahaha

哈哈哈

Agh!

啊！！！

R: Hahahahaha

哈哈哈哈哈

Nice!

好棒~

Mmmm!

*嚼*

So good!

超美味的~

Pizza roses!

比薩玫瑰

We did it!

我們做到了

Woo!

*擦汗*

Possibly the greatest DIY project

大概是最偉大的DIY項目

that this channel has ever seen!

在這個頻道上可以看到的

Maybe will ever see!

前無古人，後無來者

I don't know.

我也不知道

If you are going to give your

如果你要給你的

loved ones something for this

情人一些東西

Valentine's day season

來慶祝情人節

f*ck the real flowers

去他的真花

get the f*cking pizza roses.

做個比薩玫瑰吧

Food is always, is ALWAYS the way to go.

食物永遠、永遠是最佳選擇

That's my one piece of advice for you

那是我在這個情人節給你的

this Valentine's Day.

良心建議

Uh, the other is that you should subscribe

嗯，還有你應該訂閱這個頻道

if you haven't already to this channel.

如果你還沒有的話

You should hit up the like button

用力按下喜歡的按鈕

if you haven't done that already on this video.

如果你還沒喜歡這個影片的話

Become part of the "Notification Squad"

成為"Notification Squad"的一員

You know what I mean.

你懂的

Uh, these actually, uh, are in our

這些其實，呃，在我們的

DFTBA Threadbanger Merch Store.

DFTBA Threadbange週邊商店

Get it! It's red!

買它！它是紅色的！

Get it, you know, for somebody special

買給某個特殊的人

for Valentine's Day.

當做情人節禮物

You know what I mean?

你懂我在說什麼吧？

Leave future comments down below.

在底下留言

Uh, if you see any other roses out there

如果你看到其他的玫瑰

made out of f*cking crazy bullsh*t

是用詭異的材料做成的

I wanna make 'em. I wanna see 'em. I wanna do 'em.

我要製造他，我要看到他，我要做出他

Uhhhh, and until then

嗯~~~在那之前