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  • Hey what's up everyone it's ya boy Motoki.

    嗨~大家好,我是 Motoki

  • I have some big news for you today.

    今天有個消息要告訴大家

  • I finally did it, I got a match on Tinder and a date, let's go.

    我終於做到了!我在 Tinder 上配對成功,要去約會了,走吧!

  • That's right mom, you didn't think I could but I did.

    沒錯,媽!妳覺得我做不到,可是我做到了!

  • So if you're watching this, you can stop saying "oh you'll never have a girlfriend, you'll

    所以如果你在看這個的話,你就可以停止說「喔!你永遠都不會有女朋友」

  • never find someone, you'll never amount to anything in your life, you're such a disappoint

    「你不可能找到那個人」、「你一個都不會交到」、「你真是令人失望的傢伙」

  • and I wish I never had you"...

    「真希望我沒生過你」

  • ... f*ck ...

    X

  • But anyways, it's totally legit guys, okay, we matched on Tinder.

    反正各位,這完全是真的,我們是在 Tinder 上配對的

  • Check it out we've been messaging each other, okay, it's totally legit, not fake at all.

    檢查看看,我們一直在互傳訊息,這完全是真的,不是假的

  • Yeah you heard me, I can go on dates if I want to, yeah no big deal, whatever.

    對啊沒錯,如果我想的話我可以去約會,那沒什麼

  • But without further ado, let me introduce you to my date, Melissa.

    但我還是閒話少說,讓我來介紹一下我的約會對象,Melissa

  • Oh what the f*ck.

    喔X,這什麼

  • Aw, there you are!

    啊,你在這!

  • So thank you so much for agreeing to do this video, I know it's kinda weird.

    謝謝妳同意跟我一起做這個影片,我知道有點奇怪

  • I have to admit, I've been wanting to make a tinder date video for quite awhile now

    我必須承認,我一直很想做 Tinder 約會的影片

  • but nobody ever matches with me, so thanks for believing in me.

    可是從來沒有人跟我配對過,所以謝謝妳相信我

  • When I first asked you if you could be in a video, it was kinda sketch cause like,

    我一開始問妳願不願意出現在一個影片裡,聽起來有點可疑

  • what if it's a porno right? "Yeah"

    萬一它是色情片呢是不是? - 對!

  • But, that's for later.

    不過那是之後的事

  • To start out, I thought that I could ask you some questions, maybe get to know you a little bit better yeah?

    那一開始,我想我可以問妳一些問題,也許可以更了解妳一點

  • "Okay yeah sure" Let's do it.

    當然 - 那就開始吧!

  • First question, what would your ideal boyfriend be like?

    第一個問題,妳的男友理想型長怎樣?

  • "I think he'd have to be fit, funny, and attractive".

    我想他身材要好、搞笑、又具吸引力

  • I mean, I can be those things.

    我的意思是,我可以變成那樣

  • Do you want to have kids one day?

    妳之後想要有小孩嗎?

  • "Yes I do" Okay, yeah, same.

    想啊! - 好,一樣

  • We have so much in common.

    我們有好多共通點

  • Would you like kids anytime soon though?

    妳想要快點有小孩嗎?

  • "No"

    不要

  • F*ck, okay..

    X,好

  • So next question, what made you get a tinder?

    那下一個問題,妳為什麼想用 Tinder?

  • "Well, just to make friends and have fun" Okay yeah same.

    就只是想交朋友,然後好玩這樣 - 好喔!一樣

  • People usually use tinder to hook up but we wouldn't do anything like that.

    大家常常用 Tinder 來亂搞,可是我們不會做這檔事

  • "Of course not"

    當然不會

  • Alright, I stopped recording, you wanna have sex?

    好,我停止錄影了,妳想要上床嗎?

  • "Yeah let's go" Aw f*ck yeah.

    好啊走吧 - 哇X

  • We're kidding guys, okay obviously we're not like that..

    我們在開玩笑的啦各位,很明顯啊!我們看起來就不是那種關係

  • Think they'll believe that sh*t? "I think we're good".

    妳覺得他們會相信這種屁話嗎? - 我覺得我們做得不錯

  • If you could marry any celebrity, who would it be?

    如果你可以跟一個明星結婚,他會是誰?

  • "Definitely Zac Efron" Oh yeah he's a daddy.

    絕對是柴克・艾弗隆 - 對,他是個暖男

  • What's something you absolutely hate about guys?

    妳最討厭男生怎樣?

  • "Ugh, when they like Donald Trump" Oh true!

    嗯,當他們喜歡川普的時候 - 喔!沒錯!

  • What is your favorite fruit?

    妳最喜歡的水果是什麼?

  • "Pineapple" Pineapple, more like, you're a fine apple.

    鳳梨 - 鳳梨,有點像,妳是一個好蘋果

  • What's your favorite body part on a man?

    妳最喜歡男人的哪個身體部位?

  • "Eyes" Eyes, such bullshit everyone says that.

    眼睛 - 眼睛,根本就是屁話,每個人都這樣說

  • If you couldn't tell, I don't really get the chance to talk to girls, so this is just new for me.

    就像妳看到的,其實我不太有機會跟女生說話,所以這對我來說很新鮮

  • "How often do you talk to girls" Pff, like all the time, I'm kidding, totally joking,

    "你多久跟女生說一次話?"噗,一直啊!開玩笑的啦!

  • like every day, weekly, monthly, maybe yearly.

    可能每天、一個禮拜一次、一個月一次或一年一次

  • So how do you go about getting girls, not for me for course cause obviously I'm chilling,

    那你覺得要怎麼把馬子,當然不是為了我,很明顯的我一個人很 OK

  • like for anybody who's watching maybe.

    也許給那些在看影片的人

  • "Well you gotta compliment them, and be friendly, tend to her every need, put her first,

    你要讚美她們,對她們好,滿足她的每項需求,把她放在第一位

  • every little thing counts, you gotta get her something every once in awhile, get to know her family,

    注重每個小細節,一段時間就送她一些東西,了解她的家人

  • make sure she feels loved, make her feel special and show her respect"

    確定她覺得被愛,讓她覺得她很特別,尊重她

  • You know what I'm just going to stay single for the rest of my life f*ck it.

    - 你知道嗎?我只想要一個人度過我的餘生

  • Okay so I want to spice things up a little bit.

    好,那我想要讓影片有趣一點

  • I have a script here for us. It's a little skit.

    我這裡有一個劇本,一個幽默短劇

  • You down? "Sure"

    加入嗎? - 當然

  • Alright here we go guys, we present to you, The Plumber.

    那各位,我們開始啦!為你帶來「水電工人」

  • "Oh no, my sink doesn’t work any more, I think I need a plumber!

    喔不,我家水槽壞了,我覺得我需要一個水電工

  • Who could that be?"

    那會是誰?

  • Don't worry!

    別擔心!

  • I'm a plumber, and I'm here to take a look at your pipes!

    我是水電工,我是來看一下你的水管的

  • "Oh wow, that was fast, thank you."

    哇,好快喔,謝謝

  • Do you like my big hard tool?

    妳喜歡我又大又硬的工具嗎?

  • "Yeah, that' s really big!"

    對,它真的很大!

  • Thanks, I guess should look at your pipes now.

    謝謝,我猜我現在應該看一下你的水管

  • Wow, it’s really wet down here.

    哇!這下面真的很濕耶!

  • Just how I like it.

    我喜歡

  • I think I need to drain my fluids..

    我覺得我需要弄乾我的液體

  • I mean, the fluids.

    我的意思是,這些水

  • "Oh yes, please do."

    喔,沒錯,請做

  • First I have to lube these pipes up...

    首先,我要先潤滑這些水管

  • There we go.

    行了

  • All fixed.

    修理好了

  • Looks like we're all done here.

    看起來都完成了

  • "Thanks so much."

    真的很謝謝你

  • Anytime, my pleasure.

    沒事,這是我的榮幸

  • "Wait it says here that we have to kiss?"

    等一下,劇本上說我們這邊要親嘴嗎?

  • I mean if it’s in the script, I guess, you know, we have to, oh darn.

    如果劇本上面有,我想,你知道的,我們就應該… 討厭啦!

  • "Wait, didn't you write the script?"

    等一下,不是你寫劇本的嗎?

  • Shut the fuck up bro what the hell?

    閉嘴,你怎麼回事啊?

  • So what did you think about the date overall?

    所以整體來說你覺得這個約會如何?

  • "I mean, it was interesting".

    蠻有趣的

  • I'll take it.

    我接受

  • How would you score this on like a 1-10?

    1到10妳會打幾分?

  • "Four"

    4

  • Aw f*ck.

    喔X

  • Alright so that's it for this video, actually, I wanted to ask you something.

    這就是這部影片,對了,我想拜託妳一件事

  • I was thinking that for the thumbnail of this video that maybe you could be kissing my cheek.

    我想要做這個影片的縮圖,就是可能妳可以親我的臉頰

  • Just because, I mean, you don't have to..

    恩… 妳也不一定要啦!

  • "I mean yeah" Yeah? Ah fuck yeah!

    可以啊! - 可以?喔耶!

  • I mean, yeah cool.. whatever.

    酷!

  • Alright let's do it, let's do it.

    好,開始吧!

  • Alright.

  • I'm so f*cking hard right now

    我現在很硬

  • Well that's pretty much it, thank you guys so much for watching I hoped you enjoyed the video.

    那就這樣啦!謝謝大家的觀看!希望你喜歡這支影片

  • If you did, please give me a thumbs up to let me know, comment, subscribe if you're

    喜歡的話,給我一個讚,留言、訂閱,如果你還沒訂閱的話

  • not already but otherwise, I'll catch you guys next, Motoki Monday.

    我們下次 Motoki Monday 見

  • By the way guys this is totally fake.

    還有,這些都是假的

  • We're actually friends, and this is to make fun of people who make fake videos like this,

    我們其實是朋友,這只是想取笑那些做像這樣假影片的人

  • but we did match on Tinder..

    不過我們確實是在 Tinder 上配對的

  • "Plus, I'm lesbian".

    還有,我是女同志

Hey what's up everyone it's ya boy Motoki.

嗨~大家好,我是 Motoki

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 劇本 影片 水管 鳳梨 想要 女生

魯了這麼久,終於在交友軟體配對成功!來深入聊聊天 (Meet My Tinder Date)

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    Baran 發佈於 2017 年 06 月 03 日
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