字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 DAVID WAIN: So the rabbi says to the bartender, why wouldn't I shit in the woods? It's not like I eat pork. ANDY: Oh, gosh, that is such a touching story about how your parents met. Speaking of, how's your love life these days? DAVID WAIN: Looking up, as of about two seconds ago. ANDY: Whoa! David, how are you going to score that? What, are you going to brag about your rollerskates? Or better yet, why don't you tell her about your ceremonial knife collection? DAVID WAIN: Maybe we just need to make one of our bets. Shall we say the usual amount? ANDY: If you can still afford it. DAVID WAIN: Hello, ma'am. ANNIE: Whoa! Ah! DAVID WAIN: I'm sorry. Here, let me help you up. Here-- ANNIE: Stop that! What's wrong with you? DAVID WAIN: Nothin' a little lovin' won't cure. You see how I dropped the "G" in loving? Not "loving," no. Lovin'. Lovin'. If you come over to my house later, I'll drop a few more "Gs" on you. I'm talking about $1,000 bills. You know what I'm saying? ANNIE: No. DAVID WAIN: Knife collecting's something of a hobby of mine. ANNIE: Really? DAVID WAIN: Yeah. ANNIE: I love knives! DAVID WAIN: Oh! ANNIE: For a second I thought you were some kind of weirdo. DAVID WAIN: No! ANNIE: See you tonight. DAVID WAIN: OK. Hi, I'm so glad you came, especially since you don't have my address. ANNIE: When I like a guy, I find way. DAVID WAIN: Oh, well. Come in, I'll give you the grand tour. This is where the magic happens. And now, a regular fifty-cent piece, a coin trick. A coin trick, a coin trick, trick of a coin. ANNIE: Oh! DAVID WAIN: Impressive, maybe. Inventive, no. ANNIE: Ah! Cute bunny! DAVID WAIN: No, no, don't touch that! That's Dr. McMuffin, and he's vicious. So, I hope you like grilled cheese and cereal-- they're the only things I know how to make. ANNIE: What's that? DAVID WAIN: Oh, it's just something I use to look at the heavens. Something I'm sure you're familiar with, my sweet little angel. ANNIE: So, why is it aimed at your neighbor? DAVID WAIN: Oh, I, I thought she was really attractive and it's been awhile since I-- ANNIE: It's a dude. DAVID WAIN: What? Oh, you scared me for a second. She's just got a friend over. [HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM] ANNIE: Shh! You're going to wake Dr. McMuffin! DAVID WAIN: There was a murder! Some scary guy just killed my neighbor! ANNIE: David, stop it. You're imagining things. DAVID WAIN: No, I swear I saw it. I saw it! ANNIE: If we just talk to them, I'm sure-- DAVID WAIN: We can't talk to them, he's a murderer! How are we supposed to talk to a murd-- Annie? Oh! Oh my God, Annie! Ah! Ah! I've got to save Annie! Ah! Ah! Ah! Dr. McMuffin? Ah! Damn you, McMuffin! [EVIL LAUGHTER] DAVID WAIN: Ah! Oh! Ah! It's a real bunny! Uh! I'm coming to save you! I'm going to get you! I'm going to save you, Annie! Ah! ANNIE: Wake up, David. David? David? Wake up. DAVID WAIN: You're alive? FEMALE SPEAKER: Duh. DAVID WAIN: But I don't understand. I saw it with my own eyes. ANNIE: For what it's worth, it wasn't just a job for me, David. I really started to like you. MALE SPEAKER: Come on, Katarina, let's go. DAVID WAIN: Katarina? What the hell is-- a hidden camera? You don't have my address? ANNIE: Just a job for me. DAVID WAIN: Maybe we just need to make one of our bets. ANDY: If you can still afford it. MALE SPEAKER: I'd like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufrain ever got the best of him. DAVID WAIN: It was you! Damn you to hell! ANDY: Well, it looks like I won the bet, eh, David? [EVIL LAUGHTER] That was a long way to go for a $5 bet. I mean, just the camera rental alone cost me $700. Wait a minute. It was you! Damn you to hell! [EVIL LAUGHTER] DAVID WAIN: Hello? DR. PHINEAS T. STINKYBOTTOM: David? It's your doctor. DAVID WAIN: What's up, Dr. Stinkybottom? DR. PHINEAS T. STINKYBOTTOM: I got your test results back and it's not good news. I'm afraid you're dying. You've got about 60 years to live-- 65, tops. I'm so sorry. DAVID WAIN: Wah!