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  • [Distorted Windows start-up music]

    所以你找到我的秘密了

  • So you've found my secret, huh?

    為什麼?? 為什麼你想知道我的秘密

  • [Bell chimes]

    對!你是對的

  • WHY.

    密集恐懼症

  • WHY do you want to know my secret?

    *密集恐懼症*

  • [Bell chimes, louder]

    為什麼這種不虔誠的東西存在?

  • Yeah, well, you're right.

    我都看過...

  • T r y p o p h o b i a .

    泡疹爆裂

  • [Organ plays, choir sings]

    腳趾喪失

  • Why does this un-godly thing...

    但都無法接近

  • ...exist?

    密集他媽的...

  • I've seen it all.

    恐懼症

  • Pimple poppin'.

    *警告:立馬離開這部影片*

  • [Distorted noise]

    *你已經被警告了!*

  • Toe nails losing.

    好的,開始吧

  • [Distorted noise]

    *在經過5億年的演化後*

  • BUT AIN'T NOTHING COME EVEN CLOSE

    *負子蟾在它背部的袋中產卵*

  • to trypo...

    *現在離開了洞*

  • [whispers] ...mother fucking...

    殺了它!!

  • [whispers] ...phobia...

    這就是為什麼我們要發明噴射火焰 (註:是寶可夢第一世代的火屬性技能)

  • DON'T WANNA CLOSE MY EYES

    燃燒吧!!孩子們

  • ♫I DON'T WANNA FALL ASLEEP

    如果這是寶可夢戰鬥

  • ♫'CAUSE I MISS YOU, BABY

    我對上負子蟾

  • AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING

    我會死

  • Alright, here we go.

    我可以接受我的命運,然後死去

  • [Narration]: "In the course of half a billion years of evolution,"

    快速死去

  • "a Suriname toad has eggs that hatch in pockets on her back."

    為什麼!!!

  • OHHHHH.

    為什麼他有洞??!!

  • "Skin care, as it were."

    為什麼我這麼害怕

  • OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

    除了特定的型態

  • "They're now leaving the--"

    我他媽的知道是什麼意思

  • [Pewds gagging]

    這看起來像屁眼...多重的

  • Just kill it!

    然後...我可以尊重它

  • This is why we invented flamethrowers.

    所以我對這些...屁眼東西沒什麼問題

  • F-F-FLAME AWAY, BOIS

    這是啥??

  • If it was me - If it was a Pokemon battle...

    這他媽三小??

  • Me VS Surinam toad

    我不知道這是啥

  • I'd be dead!

    我不在乎它是不是活的

  • I'd just accept my fate, and die...

    但它必須死

  • Die fast.

    我討厭洞... 我只是討厭洞

  • ooooohhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    我還能說什麼??

  • WHY!!!!!!!!

    你是瑞典人

  • What is with HOLES?

    是天殺的維京人

  • And why am I so scared of them?

    你必須擺脫你的恐懼症 你必須擺脫...

  • except a ceRTAIN TYPE OF THEM.

    我知道這是通心粉

  • [Distorted] IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

    但它看起來他媽的恐怖

  • Now these look like buttholes, that multiplied...

    讓我們繼續看下去

  • ...and I can respect that.

    喔!天哪!

  • So I don't have a problem with this- the butthole thing.

    *警告:你最好不要看這個 它可能會永久的嚇尿你

  • What is this?

    我現在好想死

  • . . .

    發生什麼事??

  • What the fuck is that?

    生命不值得活下去

  • I don't know what it is.

    Michael

  • I don't care if it lives.

    把我的頻道交給Edgar

  • But it needs to fuckin' DIE.

    這不值得...

  • I hate holes. I just hate holes!

    不值得活下去...

  • I... what can I say-

    在這星球上

  • ooOOOHHH!!!!!!!

    我怕死了

  • AAHHH!!

    他甚至沒戴天殺的手套

  • God...!

    他甚至沒戴手套...

  • *gorilla sound*

    在這影片之後,那老兄...

  • You're a SWEDISH...

    會跟我一樣

  • ...fuckin'...

    那老兄是我的英雄

  • ...VIKING.

    三小?!這是Google地圖的連結

  • You gotta get over your phobia, man.

    這他媽是三小

  • You gotta get over it.

    必須炸了那個地方

  • Ohhh......

    就是現在!

  • [Inhales]

    呼叫... *呼叫Ethan Bradberry*

  • ooohhhh...

    呼叫總統先生

  • I know it's macaroni... but it looks so fuckin' nasty

    *呼叫總統先生*

  • Let's move onto the next one!

    我取得一個座標

  • Oh, God!

    北緯49.04.41.0

  • [High pitched scream]

    炸了這鬼東西!!

  • I wanna die now!

    到外太空去

  • [sad piano music]

    什麼國家有這種邪惡?

  • Michael: What happened?

    在這星球上...有什麼地方 可以含有...

  • Life is not worth living....

    這是地獄

  • Michael?

    那類的...kappa...

  • Michael: yeh?

    華盛頓!!!

  • Give my channel to Edgar.

    天哪這是mozzarella,對吧 (註:一種起司)

  • It's not worth it.

    但是..天殺的 我討厭它

  • It's not worth living...

    食物是...別對我摧毀食物

  • ...on this planet.

    謝謝喔

  • I'm scared. [Laughs]

    你們還在嗎??

  • He's not even wearing fuckin' gloves.

    這真困難

  • He's not even wearing gloves...

    我...我...我了解 我不是...(噁)

  • By the end of this video, that man, will be ME.

    好的,一部影片

  • That man is my

    耳垢...

  • HE-RO.

    喔,不...

  • What the fu- this is a Google Maps link...

    喔,不...

  • ...What the fuck is thi-

    誰做的影片??

  • eeeEEEWWWAAAAAHHHH

    你他媽...他媽的怪咖

  • We need to BOMB THAT PLACE

    為什麼這看起來像爆米花?

  • RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW.

    有一個寶寶在他耳朵裡??

  • --CALLING --[Computer voice] Calling: Ethan Bradberry...

    為什麼有寶寶在裡面??

  • CALLING MR. PRESIDENT.

    全部出去!!

  • [Computer voice] Calling: Mr. President.

    全部出去!!

  • I have the coordinates..

    喔,天哪...

  • 49... 04'41...

    清一下耳朵好嗎,老兄??

  • 0...

    妳幹嘛對妳的臉做這種事??

  • North...

    史上最佳萬聖節裝扮

  • BLAST THAT SHIT TO SPACE!! [Explosion]

    最糟的

  • What fuckin' country... can contain this EVIL...

    最糟的...這是最糟的

  • what fuckin' PLACE on this PLANET can contain--

    是花... 原本應該很美的

  • THAT is HELL.

    但天殺的...

  • That sort of...

    喔!這是橡皮筋

  • WASHINGTON!!

    它好詭異

  • [soft cheery music]

    我的天,你好

  • oh God, it's mozzarella, isn't it..?

    這是我早晨的樣子(汙),女士們

  • But goddamn, do I hate it...

    抱歉

  • FOOD Is something--you're--eh--don't--

    對...這是我...之後(污)

  • STOP RUINING FOOD FOR ME. Thank you very fuckin' much.

    還有一個

  • Oh, you're still with me? Cause.. this- this is HARD, man...

    再一個,就能成為真漢子

  • I- I -I un... I understand that I'm not the

    再一個...就能擁有蛋蛋

  • UUAGH

    在下巴上

  • Alright, a video...

    再一個,寶貝 來吧!!來吧!!

  • Earwax...

    這是奇怪的玩具

  • [Soft cheery music continues]

    不能多糟了

  • oh no...

    沒有芭比應得到這樣對待

  • Oh, NO...

    地球很美...

  • Who MADE this?.. you fuckin'... fuckin' weirdo..

    是個很美的地方

  • the fuck- why does it look like popcorn??

    (註:Marina Joyce)

  • Is that a BABY in his ear?!

    那裡沒有那種東西...像是正常的洞

  • [Sadly] Why is there a BABY in there...

    那裡沒有那種東西...

  • GET IT ALL OUT.

    *我的夢想是在秘魯蓋一間神廟*

  • GET IT ALL OUT...

    *在秘魯蓋一間神廟*

  • Oh god..

    我哭了...

  • Just clean your fuckin' EARS, man!

    好的!希望你喜歡這影片

  • Why would you do that to your face?

    如果你喜歡... 把喜歡給按下去

  • "Best Halloween costume ever"

    我才能得到更多喜歡 因為...

  • Worst... the worst

    我不知道...我猜對我有幫助??

  • It's the WORST..

    身為最大的Youtube頻道 卻不知道這網站是如何運作的

  • Oh, it's- eUgh..

    讓我知道...之類的,好嗎?

  • It's FLOWERS and it's supposed to be BEAUtiful, but

    也許留個言 也許按訂閱兩次

  • GODDAMN.

    肏這系統...我不知道

  • Oh, this is rubber bands...

    但一如往常的

  • This one is weird...

    非常感謝收看

  • Oh my GOD. Hello.

    保持這麼讚喔,Bros

  • It's me in the morning, ladies.

    翻譯,時間軸: 從頭到尾都很淡定的John

  • Sorry...

  • [Laughs]

  • Yup, that's me right after..

  • Don't know where it goes, but it's home to me

  • [Distorted] ♫And I wal--♫

  • We got one more. One more...

  • To be a MAN.

  • One more...

  • To have some fuckin' BALLS.

  • On your chin.

  • One more, baby. C'mon. C'mon!

  • [Barks]

  • This is weird toys...

  • It can't be that bad...

  • [laughs]

  • [laughing] Why...

  • Not even Barbie deserved this...

  • [Pewds, echoing, over serene music] The Earth is beautiful...

  • The Earth is a beautiful... place...

  • *MARINA INTENSIFIES*

  • There is no such THING.. as irregular... holes..

  • [Marina Joyce, distorted]: "I believe in love."

  • [Whispers] There is no such thing...

  • [Marina]: MY DREAM IS TO BUILD A TEMPLE IN PERU

  • [Marina, slowed down]: T E M P L E I N P E R U

  • [Sniffs]

  • I'm crying.

  • ALRIGHT, Hope you enjoyed this video, if ya did

  • Slam that like on, so I get more likes because...

  • I don't know, I guess it helps????

  • Biggest channel on YouTube, have no fuckin' clue how this site works.

  • Uh, let me know, though, or whatever, alright?

  • Maybe leave a comment, maybe hit subscribe twice??

  • FUCK WITH THE SYSTEM... I don't know.

  • But, as always, thank you so much for watching *smoochy smooch*

  • Stay awesome, bros.

  • [Slurp]

  • Got a lotta saliva coming out.

  • [Slurp]

  • [Horror music]

  • "Try not to laugh 'che-lle-nege'"

  • "Collected by GaryTheViking"

  • Is that Leafy?

  • Alright, here we go.

  • [Woman's voice]: They ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine,

  • when you're not really fine, but you just can't--

[Distorted Windows start-up music]

所以你找到我的秘密了

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