Name: 【今夜秀】精選爆笑推文：#我的小孩是奇葩 (Hashtags: #MyKidIsWeird)
Uploaded: 2017-01-30T22:00:00.000Z
Duration: 3 min 5 s

I thought I'll share some of my favorite #MyKidIsWeird tweets from you guys, here we go.

這些是我想要和你們大家分享的 #我的孩子是奇葩 推文

She says, "My kid told me that my butt looked like a bag full of chicken nuggets."

她說：「我的小孩跟我說我的屁股看起來就像是一包裝的滿滿的雞塊。」

- Or more of a truth teller? - No, it's weird.

- 或許比較像在陳述事實？- 不是，這很怪

She says, "My nephew once sneezed out a Sour Patch Kid. I still have no idea where it came from."

她說：「我的姪子曾經打噴嚏打出一顆夢幻軟糖，我到現在還無解那顆軟糖是哪裡來的。」

He hasn't eaten one of those in ten years. - I found them on the sidewalk.

十年來他一顆都沒吃過。- 我在人行道上發現的

那個帳號在推特上已經有了所以...

She says, "One of the kids in my class came out of the bathroom and quietly said to himself, 'Well that hurt...'"

她說：「我班上有個孩子從廁所出來後默默地自言自語說著：『喔，那有點痛。』」

He says, "My friend's kid will just stare at him and meow when he's hungry, since that's what the cat does to get food."

他說：「我朋友的孩子肚子餓時會盯著我朋友喵喵叫，因為貓總是喵喵叫討飯吃。」

She says, "My son told his class that my job is that 'I stand at a hotel and guys come to see me.' I work at the front desk."

她說：「我兒子跟班上同學說我的工作是我站在酒店然後人會來見我...我在服務台工作好嗎...」

She never stays the night, she's only there for few hours a day.

她不會過夜啦，她一天只會在那裡幾小時

She says, "When I caught my daughter picking her nose, she said 'I'm putting it back in.'"

她說：「當我發現我女兒在摳鼻屎時，她說：『我把它放回去就是了。』」

She says, "My 9-year-old daughter asked, 'Mommy when I grow up, will my boobs be as long as yours?'"

她說：「我九歲的女兒問我：『媽咪，我長大之後我的胸部會跟你的一樣長嗎？』」

She says, "Found this on the dining room wall. Asked our 4-year-old son what it meant; He said, 'You can't know.'"

她說：「我在餐廳牆上發現了這個，我問 4 歲的兒子那是什麼意思，他回答：『不能讓你知道。』」

Last one's from @Jenboston. This is a photo.

最後一則是來自 @Jenboston。配上一張照片

She says, "My 3-year-old asks to have her picture taken with store mannequins."

她說：「我 3 歲的孩子說想要跟店裡的人體模型合照。」

Those are The Tonight Show Hashtags. To check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtags

這些是 The Tonight Show Hashtags。歡迎到 tonightshow.com/hashtags 看看更多我們喜歡的推文吧