A lot of you on Facebook?

很多人嗎？

[APPLAUSE]

［鼓掌］

I don't know what's going on with this timeline thing that now that's going.

我不知道現在那個動態時報到底是要幹麻

I don't like it 'cause it makes it harder to go through the pages.

它讓我很難查別人的個人頁面，我不喜歡

And it's what I've been doing all day long, before you got here.

你們來這之前我整天都在查你們的個人頁面

I needed to see who was coming to my show.

我需要知道有誰要上我的節目

I want to show you what I've found

給你們看看我從你們之中某些人的個人頁面

from some of you folks here today.

看到了什麼

Where is Jared Hanson, where are you?

誰是 Jared Hanson？你在哪兒？

Jared?

Jared？

There's that vote of confidence that I'm looking for.

我就是在尋找這種自信心！

Hello.

哈囉

So do you have any compromising photos that you think I might not want to see?

你有沒有 po 什麼不想讓我看到的照片？

Umm...Not that I know of.

呃，我不記得有

Really?

真的嗎？

I just wanna ask you about this particular photo right here.

那我想問你關於這張照片的事

You're talking to someone.

你在跟別人視訊

No!!

不～～～

Let's zoom in on this little area right here.

我們來放大左上角這一塊

No!!!

不！！！

[APPLAUSE]

［鼓掌］

Yeah.

對

So Jared, what's going on with that area there?

所以，Jared，這邊發生什麼事啊

It looks like a fig leaf of some sort.

看起來像某種無花果葉

I was Adam for Halloween, and my friend was Eve.

我萬聖節時喬裝成雅當，我朋友是夏娃

All right, you were Adam, and then, can we zoom out to see what Eve looks like?

好，你是雅當，那我們看一下夏娃長什麼樣子好嗎？

I was a bit more committed.

我比較融入扮裝之中

Yeah, I don't think that's really what Eve looked like,

對，從我看過的一些圖片判斷

from the pictures I've seen.

我覺得夏娃應該不是長那樣

All right, so, she looks like she's looking right at the fig leaf,

而且他看起來像在直視你的無花果葉

if you look at her eyes.

如果你順著她的視線看的話

Aye Caramba!

唉·卡藍芭（註：中南美普遍使用的驚嘆語）

All right, well thank you for letting us, or you didn't let us, I just did it.

好啦，謝謝你讓我——其實你沒有讓我，我自己就做了

Thank you.

謝謝

Where is Katie Gallagher, where are you?

Katie Gallagher 在哪裡？

Hi, Katie.

嗨 Katie

Hi.

嗨

How are you?

你好嗎？

I'm Fine.

很好

How's it going?

最近如何呢？

Awesome, how are you?

很讚，你呢？

Awesome as well.

我也是

Do you know which picture I'm gonna show of yours?

你知道我要秀出哪張你的照片嗎？

I have no idea.

完全不知道

All right, well here's what,

好的，其實呢

I'm a firm believer that you should never stop learning.

我非常相信每個人都不能停止學習

You should always, always grow as a human being.

身為人類，你應該不斷成長

You should learn things in life,

應該用生命不斷的學習

and it appears you're taking a class here, let's take a look.

這張照片看起來像你在上一堂課

All right.

好的

I assume it's a class, but.

我直覺判定是在上課啦，但⋯⋯

Yeah, yes, it's a class.

對、對，是在上課

It was a class?

是一堂課？

A pole dancing class.

鋼管舞課

It was a pole dancing, exactly.

對，是鋼管舞

So here is another move of yours that is on here.

這是另一張你 po 在網路上的照片

One of the all-time sexy moves.

其中一種空前的性感舞步

When you see that, that's when the money comes out, when some one is-

當你看到這個姿勢時，就是錢被掏出口袋的時候，當一個人在——

Just holding on like a

抓得像這樣

All right, and then of course, the big finish here.

好的，當然，最後的完美結束

All right, so when you're leaving today, if anyone needs change or singles, I think Katie has singles.

大家今天要離開的時候，如果需要零錢，我想 Katie 有很多零錢

All right,

好的

where is-

你們在哪裡？

Lisa Sowatski and Jackie Hanson?

Lisa Sowatski 和 Jackie Hanson？

Where are y'all?

你們在哪呢？

Hi.

嗨

Hi.

嗨

Everybody, for posting the pictures you post, y'all are all so shy.

你們大家敢 po 這種照片，但現在又那麼害羞

It's just, it's so easy to do that when you're at home, going, that would be good to put on there.

在家做什麼都很簡單對吧？你們就想說，對！po 這個很棒！

Are you, you're two friends?

你們兩個是朋友嗎？

-Yep. -How long have y'all known each other?

-對的 -認識多久了呢？

-Eight years? -Eight years.

-八年？ -八年

-How long? -Eight years.

-多久？ -八年

Eight years.

八年

And you took a picture that is,

妳們拍了一張

it's really sweet. What were y'all doing in this picture?

很溫馨的照片，你們在照片裡在幹麻？

Let me, tell me.

告訴我一下

I don't remember meeting you ever and-

我完全不記得有遇到你們過

She did it.

她做的

That, okay.

那個、好啦

What was it?

什麼？

She requested tickets to the Ellen Show

她說她想要艾倫秀的票

for her birthday which is today, by the way.

當作生日禮物——她今天生日

And she got them, and I was so excited,

然後她收到了，我很興奮

and my husband let me know early that we got the tickets.

而且我的老公提早讓我知道我們得到票了

So that was her valentine from me and,

所以這是我送他的禮物，還有

don't you remember we were on the red carpet with you?

你不記得我們有跟你一起走紅毯嗎？

I do not remember it and

我不記得，而且

the photoshopping is probably the worst I've ever seen in my-

你的修圖技術大概是我人生中看過

In my life.

最爛的

Like, but it's also an older picture from,

而且還是很舊的照片

I don't know when that is from,

不知道是什麼時候的

so you need an updated picture. Come on down,

所以你需要一張新的！下來吧

let's take a picture together.

我們一起照張相

[APPLAUSE]

［鼓掌］

Hi.

嗨

Nice to meet you.

很高興認識你

Hi, hi.

嗨、嗨

Good to see you again.

很高興又看到你

You too.

你也是

Yeah, great.

對，很棒

All right, let's take a picture.

好，我們來照張相吧

- All right. -Thank you.

-好了 -謝謝

Go post that one.

去 po 這張吧！

All right, all right.

好的、好的

Where is Megan Wise, Megan where are you?

Megan Wise 在哪裡？

Hi, Megan.

嗨 Megan

Hi.

嗨

How you doing?

你過得怎麼樣？

Good, how are you?

很好，你呢？

I'm fantastic, thank you.

我過很棒，謝謝

Megan, who are you here with?

Megan，你今天跟誰來呢？

My mom and my sister.

我媽跟我妹妹

Your mom and sister, hi.

媽媽跟妹妹，嗨

Do they follow you on Facebook?

他們跟你是 Facebook 好友嗎？

Yeah.

是呀

-I don't. -My sister, yeah.

-我不是 -我妹是

Your mom does not?

你媽不是？

-No. -Okay.

-不是 -好

Hi mom.

嗨媽媽

Hi.

嗨

You're about to see something right now.

你準備要看到很精彩的東西囉

Do you know what I'm gonna show?

你知道我要秀哪張嗎？

I have no idea.

完全不知道

Really? You have that many photos that would be-

真的？你有這麼多照片可以秀？

It's a possibility.

有這個可能性

All right, well anyway, I just am curious, again,

好的，我只是很好奇

I don't know who thinks of these things.

我不知道誰會想出這種東西

And you go, yeah, all right,

然後又會想說，好啊

well, let's just take a look.

好啦，我們先來看看

Sorry mom.

對不起，媽媽

All right, first of all,

首先

First of all.

首先

How much better do the rest of you feel right now?

你們其他人現在應該感覺超好吧？

Because-

因為

All right, so first of all you go, hey,

首先你會說，嘿

I got an idea.

我想到一個點子

Then somebody goes, I have

然後另一個人會說

let's get a camera.

我們拿相機拍吧！

And then someone says, let's post it.

又會有人說，我們 po 上網！

So who is this with you?

所以跟你在照片裡的是誰呢？

That is my friend Mary Ellen.

是我的朋友 Mary Ellen

-Your friend Mary Ellen, and -She probably hates me right now.

-你的朋友 Mary Ellen -她現在應該恨我

You what?

什麼？

She probably hates me right now.

她現在應該恨我

Did she not know this was, she must know it's up here.

他不知道這、她一定知道這在網路上吧

She's seen it, she's seen it.

她看過、她看過

A lot of people have seen it now.

很多人都看過了

All right, how about that mom,

好啦，媽媽你覺得怎樣

there's your daughter.

你的女兒拍這種照片

A proud parent moment.

是一個做父母的驕傲時刻

So proud.

非常驕傲

So proud.

非常驕傲

All right, well if I showed your picture today, you're all getting an iPad.

好的，如果我今天有秀出你的照片，你會帶著一台 iPad 回家