If you stare into the void long enough,

如果你花夠長的時間盯著虛空看

the void…

虛空…

eventually gets a little creeped out.

最終會感到有點噁心

Hi, welcome to China Uncensored, I’m your host, Chris Chappell.

歡迎收看中國解密 我是主持人 Chris Chappell

Since the dawn of time, Man has sought to create.

太古之初 人類力求創造

To invent.

創新

To drive humanity forward.

推動人類向前邁進

But I’ll bet when our ancestors created the wheel...

但我打賭，當我們的祖先創造出輪子以後…

The guy in the next village saw it and created this for half the price.

隔壁村的人看到後只花費了 一半的成本就創造出這個

Yes, bootlegging.

是的，盜版業

The world’s second-oldest profession.

世界第二古老的行業

Wait a minute…

等等…

actually let's not think about that too much.

讓我們不要去想太多

Anyway, you may say bootlegging is shameful and illegal,

總之，你可能會說盜版是可恥與非法的行徑

but you got to admit,

但是你不得不承認

it can sometimes be hilarious!

它有時還能搏君一笑！

So behold!

請看！

All of civilization has led to these 10 Chinese toy knockoffs.

所有人類文明的精華促成 這些中國十大山寨玩具

Number 10 New Style Ninja Tortoise

第十名 新忍者陸龜

This isn't some lame old turtle!

這可不是彆腳的老海龜！

You can tell by its chest.

你可以從他胸前的字看出 [陸龜]

Besides, turtles live in the water.

另外，海龜生活在水中

A tortoise lives on land.

陸龜生活在陸地

So this knockoff actually makes more sense than the original.

所以這個山寨版的名字實際上比起原版更貼切

Seriously, Donatello; why would you need a submarine?

說真的，多納太羅你幹嘛需要一艘潛水艇？

Number 9 Mighty Car

第九名 巨無霸車

An ordinary person might see Mr. T and the van from the A-Team

一般人看到的是天龍特攻隊的怪頭站在他的廂型車旁

But the clever mind of the bootlegger sees so much more.

但是靈光的山寨業者見到的不只如此

He sees Mr. T

他看見怪頭

as the van!

化身為箱型車！

With a machine gun and axe!

手裡還握有機關槍和斧頭！

No one’s gonna give this guy any jibber jabber!

沒人敢跟這傢伙囉嗦！

Number 8 Pokyman

第八名 神奇寶貝俠

No, not Pokemon. Pokyman.

不，不是神奇寶貝 是神奇寶貝俠

Get out of here Pikachu.

皮卡丘你讓開

I choose you,

我選擇你

Rastafarian Pikachu!

拉斯塔法里教徒皮卡丘！

Number 7 Batman

第七名 蝙蝠俠

If this is not a pipe,

如果這不是一根菸斗

then this is not Superman.

那麼這就不是超人

And besides, everyone knows Superman/BATMAN doesn't use guns.

而且每個人都知道超人/蝙蝠俠不拿槍

Number 6 Fun Neddy Lovely

第六名 彩虹小驢

My Little Pony may believe that Friendship Is Magic,

彩虹小馬相信友誼的魔力

but you do not want to know what DEMON DONKEY believes in.

但是你不會想知道惡魔驢子相信什麼

And his requests to TYE ME!!! best go unheeded.

他要求「綁住我！」最好別照辦

Number 5 Harry Potter Obama Sonic

第五名 哈利波特歐巴馬音速小子

I'm sorry, did that not make sense?

抱歉，聽起來完全摸不著頭緒？

How about now.

現在呢

Yeah, still doesn't make sense does it?

啊，還是讓人覺得無厘頭？

Number 4 Mouse and Friends

第四名 老鼠和好朋友

(crying) Whyyyyyy?!

為…什…麼？！

Number 3 Robert Cop

第三名 羅伯特警察

The future of law enforcement is here!

未來的執法人員在此！

No one fights crime like...

沒人能像羅伯特警察這樣…

Robert Cop!

打擊犯罪！

But before you dismiss Robert as a worthless, half-melted knockoff of RoboCop,

在你把羅伯特當成半殘不重用版的機械戰警之前

let's consider what he has going for him.

讓我們看看他有什麼能耐

Besides stealing the Terminator's tagline.

除了剽竊《魔鬼終結者》的對白

He's a:

他還是

-Futuristic Robert

未來版羅伯特

-Terminator (autobotic)

魔鬼終結者（自動機器人）

-exciting movie look

電影角色化身

and he's also a toy.

而且是個玩具

Number 2 The Titanic

第二名 鐵達尼號

Don't let this Titanic toy fool you.

別讓這個鐵達尼號玩具愚弄你

It's more than meets the eye.

它不僅是艘船

This Titanic would probably have been able to avoid the iceberg.

這個鐵達尼號肯定能夠躲避冰山

Though I bet all the people would have still died horrible deaths during the transformation.

但我敢打賭鐵達尼號變形成 金剛時乘客們仍難逃一死

And Number 1 Sense of Right Alliance

第一名 正義感聯盟

Who needs the Justice League,

擁有聽起來更具共產色彩的正義感聯盟

when you have the much more communist-sounding Sense of Right Alliance!

誰還需要正義聯盟

It's got all your favorite heroes:

裡面全都是你最愛的英雄人物：

A Power Ranger.

金剛戰士

Batman!

蝙蝠俠

Other Batman!

另一個蝙蝠俠

Spiderman.

蜘蛛人

Shrek!

史瑞克！

You know, you really shouldn’t mix universes this way.

真不該用這種方式把不同世界 的角色攪和在一塊

Well those are my top 10 favorite Chinese toy knockoffs.

以上是我最愛的前十大中國仿冒玩具

But there were so, so many more to choose from!

但是可以挑選的玩具不勝枚舉！

What’s your favorite Chinese toy knockoff?

你最愛的中國製山寨玩具是哪一款？

Leave your comment and a link below,

將你的意見和玩具連結留在下方

or send me an email with a photo you took to ChinaUncensored@gmail.com.

或傳電子郵件並附上玩具照片至 [email protected]

If there’s enough interest, I’ll do a fan favorites version of Chinese toy knockoffs.

如果有夠多人響應 我會製作中國解密粉絲最愛的中國山寨玩具影片

Once again I'm Chris Chappell, see you next time.

我是主持人 Chris Chappell 下次再見