A: So by the end of the month, I'll be running the whole department!

G: That is incredible!

You have to let me

come see your new office

when I get back from Tokyo.

A: That would be great! G: So good to see you!

A: You too! Where are you parked? I'll walk you.

G: Oh my god, I was about to say

I should walk you!

(both laughing)

A: Seriously! Where's your car?

G: Oh. No. Forreal.

I'll walk you, it's not a big deal.

Look, I have my keys already.

A: Oh that's so cute!

Look at what my mom sent me.

G: Aww! A: Pepper spray!

G: Oh my god! That's so nice of her!

Mine ran out downtown.

But y'know what, seriously.

I'm running a 6 minute mile now,

so I'll walk you to your car and then

I'll just sprint back to mine.

A: Oh, but that seems risky

cause you're so

approachable-looking.

Maybe we should BOTH

run to your car and then

I'll high kick back to my car

cause I'm learning Krav Maga!

G: Mm. I just don't think hand-to-hand combat

will be any use against a gun.

A: You know what! I thought about that!

And that's why I also carry! (pause)

this hammer!

G: Mm. Can't someone just take that

away from you and use it against you?

A: That's a good point.

I probably shouldn't carry it every day,

it's giving me back pain.

G: You know what,

let's strategize.

A: Ooh!

A: Okay. What if we ran to your car,

and then I doubled back to my car,

zig-zagging in between lanes

so that a predator couldn't catch me!

G: Well, here's my idea.

I walk you to your car.

And then I walk back to my car

really fast holding my phone to my ear

as if to say

"someone would notice if I disappeared!"

A: Yeah but, rapists won't care about that,

only kidnappers.

G: You're right.

G: Should we call an uber?

A: Are you kidding?

Those drivers will kill you.

♪ (chill rock music) ♪

A: I guess we die here.

Subtitles by the Amara.org community