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  • - IAN: Mmm, oh yeah, that's good.

    - 伊恩: 恩,喔耶,太好吃了

  • That's a very good Christmas tree.

    這棵聖誕樹真好吃

  • - ANTHONY: Shut up!

    -安東尼: 你給我閉嘴!

  • - NARRATOR: Previously on Food Battle...

    -旁白: 本集食物大戰前情提要...

  • - [whispering] I feel like we're forgetting something.

    (竊竊私語) 我總覺得我們好像忘記什麼事了

  • - I'm unemployed.

    -我失業了

  • - Oh my God, we forgot Food Battle!

    -喔我的天啊,我們完全忘記食物大戰了!

  • (man screaming, car crashing)

    (慘叫聲+車子撞毀聲)

  • - My new favorite food, pink frosted sprinkled donut.

    -我最愛的食物,粉紅糖霜甜甜圈

  • - (screams)

    -(低吼叫)

  • (dramatic music playing)

    (戲劇張力十足的音樂)

  • - You can't have the same food as me!

    -你不能跟我選一樣的食物!

  • - Uh-uh-uh-uh! Mine's vegan.

    -呃 呃 呃 呃!我的這個可是素的

  • - (gasps) Wait, what's the difference?

    -(倒抽口氣) 等等,啊是有啥差別喔?

  • - Oh, if you listen closely,

    -喔,如果你仔細聽的話

  • you can hear the screams of suffering animals.

    你可以聽到你甜甜圈裡,那遭慘無人道對待的動物慘叫聲

  • (faint cries of animals, gun firing)

    (動物無力喊叫聲,槍火炮聲)

  • - So you're gonna do this or what?

    -所以我們到底有沒有要比啊?

  • - Yeah.

    -嘿啊

  • - Well if you think your pink frosted sprinkled donut

    -哼,你要是以為你的粉紅糖霜甜甜圈

  • can do more everyday tasks than my

    可以比我的粉紅糖霜甜甜圈

  • pink frosted sprinkled donut, then you're going down,

    完成更多事情,那你可就大錯特錯了

  • dookie-brown! (eating donut)

    你這坨咖啡色的狗屎!(吃甜甜圈)

  • (heavy metal music plays) Food Battle 2016

    (重金屬音樂) 2016年食物大戰

  • - Let's see your stupid donut be...

    -我們來看看你那笨甜甜圈能不能...

  • ...the child you just found out you had

    ...當成是你跟你高中女友

  • with your high school girlfriend that you now have

    生的小孩,然後你打算用探親權

  • visitation rights with!

    來探望它!

  • - You're just a little baby donut?

    -你這個可愛的甜甜圈小親親

  • Yes you are. (baby crying)

    你就是那摸滴口愛 (嬰兒哭聲)

  • It works. (ding!)

    成功了 (成功!)

  • Okay, now Daddy needs his peace and quiet.

    好啦,現在爸爸呢,需要一點點安靜的空間喔

  • (window breaks, cars crash)

    (窗戶破裂聲、車子撞毀聲)

  • (alarms wailing, people screaming, flames crackling)

    (警鈴響起、尖叫聲、大火爆裂聲)

  • - REPORTER: Marine biologist Emerson Dibley

    -記者: 海洋生物學家艾默森.狄伯利

  • has discovered a new breed of octopus,

    剛剛發現了新的章魚品種

  • which has two more tentacles than a

    牠比一般的章魚還多了

  • normal octopus, and is being

    2隻觸角,因此被

  • called by specialists in the field...

    相關領域的專家稱為...

  • - Uh, oh no! - REPORTER: ...a squid.

    -喔,喔不! -記者: ...烏賊

  • - (gags) My baby boy!

    -(作嘔) 我的小寶貝!

  • My baby boy-- (ding!)

    我的小寶貝啊...... (成功!)

  • - Let's do a...

    -那我們接下來...

  • ...clone--wait, a clone?

    ...做複製人... 蛤,複製人?

  • - What the hell kind of catalogue have we been using? (Cream Cheese And Other Things)

    -我們到底一直在用什麼鬼目錄來比賽啊? (奶油起司和其他瑣碎雜物)

  • - Huh. - Makes sense.

    - Huh -這樣就說得過去了

  • - Okay, donut, time for you to become my clone.

    -好啦,甜甜圈,是時候變成我的複製人啦

  • (whoosh!)

    (whoosh!)

  • Whoa. I look just like me.

    哇嗚,我看起來還真像我

  • - I do. (punches real Ian)

    -沒有錯 (重擊真伊恩)

  • (ding!)

    (成功!)

  • Oh, Anthony? I'm ready for the Food Battles.

    喔,安東尼?我可是已經準備好繼續挑戰食物大戰了喔

  • (laughs sinisterly)

    (邪惡地笑)

  • - All right, donut, double as my clone.

    -聽好了,甜甜圈,變成我的複製人吧

  • (electricity zaps)

    (電擊聲)

  • - [weakly] Kill me...

    - (孱弱叫聲) 殺了我吧...

  • - (screams)

    - (尖叫)

  • (buzzer)

    (失敗)

  • Are you gonna choose something or what?

    啊你現在到底是要選還是不選?

  • - Okay.

    -好喔

  • - Are you okay?

    -你發燒了是不是?

  • - It feel good to be Ian. (real Ian yells,

    -當真伊恩感覺還真不錯 (真伊恩吼叫

  • punches fake Ian)

    重擊假伊恩)

  • - Hooh, all right.

    -呼,好啦

  • Let's do, um... glue?

    我們來試試看,恩...膠水?

  • - What?

    -什麼?

  • - Let's do glue! - Okay.

    -我們來挑戰膠水啦! -好啦好啦

  • - Okay, donut, I need to find something

    -聽好了,甜甜圈,我需要找樣東西

  • to break so I can put it back together.

    可以讓我破壞,好讓我把它黏回去

  • Oh, that'll work.

    好喔,找到了

  • - No!

    -不可以!

  • Not my limited edition finger telecaster deluxe

    不要拿我那把上面有迪斯科集體瘋狂樂團裡

  • signed by world-renowned singer, song writer

    長得超帥的世界知名歌手兼作曲家

  • and very handsome man Brendon Urie

    布倫登·尤里親筆簽名

  • from the band Panic! at the Dis--

    的限量豪華版手彈電吉他

  • (heavy metal music plays, guitar breaking)

    (重金屬音樂,破壞吉他聲)

  • (heavy metal music continues)

    (重金屬音樂)

  • - It worked! (buzzer)

    -它黏起來了!(失敗,明明就不行)

  • - All right, donut, please be the glue

    -好啦,甜甜圈,拜託你成為

  • that holds my family together.

    我們家人之間的感情修復黏著劑

  • - Why are the dishes never done when I get home?

    -為什麼每次我回到家,碗都丟在那還沒洗?

  • This place is a God-damn pigsty!

    這裡真他媽越來越像豬住的地方了!

  • - My body is a pigsty because you never satisfy me, sexually.

    -我的身體越來越像母豬,還不是因為你在性方面都沒辦法滿足我

  • - Oh, really... - Please fix this, donut.

    -哦,妳還敢... -拜託幫幫我吧,甜甜圈

  • - Oh, God damn it, Anthony. Stop it.

    -喔,你他媽的,安東尼,滾去旁邊玩

  • - Stop it. - And I told you,

    -不要這樣子 -我跟妳講過

  • I am tired from a long day of work at the office,

    -我一整天待在辦公室不斷工作已經夠累了

  • and, my penis don't work sometimes.

    當然我的老二有時候就硬不起來嘛

  • - And that is why I'm sleeping

    -這就是為什麼我選擇跟吉普車上

  • with Robert from the Jeep!

    跟羅伯特搞車震!

  • - Are you kidding me? Robert?

    -妳在跟我開玩笑嗎?羅伯特?

  • (distant arguing)

    (吵架聲不休)

  • - Oh well. Guess I'm getting

    -喔那好吧,那我明年

  • double Christmas presents next year.

    大概可以拿到兩份聖誕節禮物吧

  • (buzzer)

    (失敗)

  • Let's do... (scrunches paper)

    我們來試試... (把紙撕碎)

  • (dominoes clicking, Ian and Anthony singing)

    (骨牌推倒聲,伊恩和安東尼哼著歌)

  • (bucket clanking, ball rolling, Ian and Anthony continue)

    (水桶叮噹作響聲,滾球聲,伊恩和安東尼繼續哼唱)

  • (flames whooshing, rope breaks)

    (火焰點燃聲,繩子斷裂聲)

  • (both singing)

    (兩人繼續哼唱)

  • A dabbing Harambe!

    輕拍著小男孩的哈蘭貝! (譯註: Harambe是發生在2016年5月美國俄亥俄州辛辛那提動物園,因家長疏忽導致男童跌落大猩猩園區,大猩猩Harambe遭射殺事件)

  • - Okay!

    - 好喔!

  • All right, donut, I know you can be a dabbing Harambe.

    太好了,甜甜圈,我知道你可以變成輕拍小屁孩的哈蘭貝

  • - Stop!

    -住手!

  • (music plays)

    (音樂)

  • - IAN: Meme police!

    -伊恩: 網路爆紅警察!

  • - You're under arrest for referencing

    -你已經被兩名過時的

  • two outdated memes multiple times!

    網路警察通緝很多次了!

  • - Damn, Daniel! What are those?

    -太潮了,丹尼爾!這也太炫了吧? (譯註: Damn, Daniel的梗是來自兩個美國高中生拍攝Vine時講了這句話,因為很有魔性,在推特上爆紅,甚至還被邀請到艾倫秀)

  • That boy's back at it again with the white vans.

    穿著Vans Authentic白鞋再來一次

  • (suspenseful music building up)

    (懸疑音樂漸趨大聲)

  • - You're free to Pokémon GO.

    -你現在可以「玩精靈寶可夢」了 (譯註: 原本應該是You're free to go「你可以走了」,這裡加上時事梗,Pokémon GO為2016年爆紅的一款手機遊戲)

  • (music plays) - IAN: Meme police!

    (音樂) -伊恩: 網路爆紅警察!

  • Hah, it worked!

    哈,成功了!

  • (buzzer)

    (失敗)

  • (muffled grunting)

    (低沉慘叫)

  • That hurt.

    好痛啊

  • - C'mon, donut, I know you can be a--

    -快點,甜甜圈,我知道你可以變成......

  • (buzzer)

    (失敗)

  • What? I didn't even get to say any--

    為什麼?我都還沒有講......

  • (buzzer) Come on, I didn't even--

    (失敗) 怎麼這樣,我都還沒...

  • (buzzer) What?

    (失敗) 你他媽?

  • (buzzer) No, I--

    (失敗) 欸,我根本就......

  • (buzzer)

    (失敗)

  • Let's see your stupid pink turd be a...

    我們來試試看你那坨粉紅色的大便能不能變成...

  • - Christmas tree topper!

    -聖誕樹上裝飾的星星!

  • (car crashes, people screaming, alarm wailing)

    (車子撞毀聲、尖叫聲、警鈴響起)

  • Come on, donut. Let's make this day magical.

    來吧,甜甜圈,讓我們一起讓今天變成神奇的一天吧

  • (heavy metal music plays)

    (重金屬音樂)

  • (boxes clattering) Sh*t!

    (箱子撞擊聲) 馬的!

  • (boxes clattering)

    (箱子撞擊聲)

  • (grunting)

    (哀嚎)

  • (screams) (baubles clattering)

    (慘叫) (小東西撞擊聲)

  • (grunting)

    (用力的聲音)

  • (panting)

    (喘氣聲)

  • Hah! (ding!)

    哈!(成功!)

  • What's the matter, man?

    怎麼了,兄弟?

  • Why aren't you making your donut

    你為什麼不把你的甜甜圈

  • be a Christmas tree topper?

    掛在聖誕樹上?

  • You should've seen mine. It was so close, like

    你剛剛都沒看到,剛真的超驚險

  • (imitates grunting) and then I died and I freakin' loved it.

    (模仿叫聲) 我差點摔死,但我超愛這樣子的

  • What's wrong, man?

    怎麼了,兄弟?

  • - Ian, do you ever think about...

    -伊恩,你有沒有想過...

  • ...getting older, and... you know...changing?

    ...人長大了之後...你知道...是不是行為也該有所改變了?

  • - Like...becoming a butterfly?

    -你是說....變成一隻蝴蝶嗎?

  • 'Cause I'm still working on that.

    因為我到現在還會扮成蝴蝶飛呀飛

  • By the way, do you know where I could buy a cocoon?

    欸對了,你知道可以在哪邊買到繭嗎?

  • - No. Why are we still doing Food Battle?

    -別鬧了,為什麼我們還一直堅持做食物大戰?

  • How many times can one person die?

    每一次我們都要死掉幾次?

  • - So far, nine.

    -目前為止 9 次吧

  • And then there's that time we swapped brains

    還有一次你記得就是我們交換身體

  • which kinda felt like dying on the inside.

    搞到那一次最後差點死掉

  • - Okay, but seriously,

    -是沒錯,但說真的啦

  • do you still even wanna do Food Battle?

    你真的還想繼續做食物大戰系列的影片嗎?

  • - (sighs)

    - (嘆氣)

  • I don't know. I don't know, man.

    你考倒我了,我也不知道,兄弟

  • - Yeah... I don't know either.

    -對啊... 我也不知道

  • - Hey. We did have some good times though.

    -嘿,但我們過去也真的玩得很開心啊

  • - Yeah.

    -是沒錯啦

  • - IAN: ♪ I will remember Food

    -伊恩唱: ♪ 縱使光陰流逝 ♪

  • Battle through all the years

    ♪ 我仍會依然記得食物大戰 ♪

  • We died so many times

    ♪ 雖然死過那麼多次 ♪

  • But are somehow inexplicably still alive

    ♪ 但最後我們還是很神奇地繼續活著 ♪

  • Don't try to make sense of any of itttttttt... ♪

    ♪ 一切不過只求博君一笑...... ♪

  • (singing)

    (發瘋唱)

  • - Okay, the montage is over.

    - 好了啦,回到現實

  • Ian! - Sorry.

    伊恩! -抱歉

  • So...do you really wanna end Food Battle...

    所以......你真的想.....永遠結束

  • ...forever?

    食物大戰嗎?

  • - Yeah. I think so.

    -對啊,我是這樣想的

  • What do you say we...

    我們就把這些...

  • ...toss these donuts and move onto newer things?

    ...甜甜圈丟掉,去做點新鮮的事情,你說好不好?

  • - Yeah... like Food War 2017!

    -太好了...比方說像2017年食物大戰?

  • - No. - Sorry.

    -不是 -抱歉

  • Well... what do you say we...

    這樣的話... 那我們就離開...

  • ...get out of here, sport?

    ...這裡,然後去打球吧?

  • - All right, champ. Let's do it.

    -聽你的,冠軍,來吧

  • - Good-bye, donut. - Good-bye, Food Battle.

    -再會了,甜甜圈 -再會了,食物大戰

  • (dramatic music playing)

    (戲劇張力十足的音樂)

  • (heavy metal music plays)

    (重金屬音樂)

  • - Ian! Ian! Anthony!

    -伊恩!伊恩!安東尼!

  • You just ended Food Battle and I'm out of a job.

    你們剛剛結束掉食物大戰的系列,我也剛好失業了

  • What are you gonna do now?

    那你們現在要做什麼呢?

  • - We're gonna live, damn it.

    -我們要他媽的跟一般人一樣活著

  • We're gonna live.

    平凡地活著

  • - Oh boy, you're gonna live! Can I come?

    -喔兄弟,你們要平凡地活著啊,那我可以加入嗎?

  • - Sure. buddy.

    -當然,兄弟

  • - Get in here. - Oh...

    -快來吧 -喔...

  • Wait...does this mean I'm fully unemployed now?

    等一下,那這是不是我表示我完全的失業了呢?

  • - IAN & ANTHONY: Yep. - ANNOUNCER: F*ck!

    -伊恩&安東尼: 沒有錯 -裁判: 幹!

  • What am I supposed to do?

    那我以後要怎麼辦?

  • - IAN: Foot greaser? - ANNOUNCER: No!

    -伊恩: 足部潤滑師? -裁判: 不要!

  • - ANTHONY: Clean windows?

    -安東尼: 大樓窗戶清潔工?

  • - ANNOUNCER: I don't do windows.

    -裁判: 我最不會擦窗戶了

  • - IAN: Plumbing? - ANNOUNCER: No!

    -伊恩: 水電工? -裁判: 不要!

  • - ANTHONY: Paint rocks? - ANNOUNCER: For money?

    -安東尼: 石頭彩繪家? -裁判: 然後拿去賣嗎?

  • - ANTHONY: Yeah. - ANNOUNCER: No.

    -安東尼: 對啊 -裁判: 我才不要

  • - IAN: Taint tickler?

    -伊恩: 心靈治療師?

  • - ANNOUNCER: I already do that for free.

    -裁判: 我早就開始在做了,只是我沒收人家錢

  • - IAN: Well, you should start charging.

    -伊恩: 這樣的話,那你最好現在開始收費

  • - ANTHONY: Hey guys. Thank you so much for watching

    -安東尼: 嘿大家,感謝你們收看這集影片

  • and supporting Food Battle over all these years.

    也很感謝你們一路以來支持食物大戰系列的作品這麼多年

  • - IAN: Yeah, and we can not wait

    -伊恩: 對啊,我們等不及

  • to show you guys what we have--

    要向你們大家.......

  • - BARNEY: Hey there, kids! It's Barney!

    -邦尼: 嘿,孩子們,是我邦尼!

  • You thought you could end Food Battle without me?

    食物大戰系列要結束了,怎麼可以少了我跟大家說再見呢?

  • I don't think so. (chainsaw whirring)

    怎麼可能那麼簡單就結束呢?(電鋸呼呼聲)

  • I'm gonna cut off your scrotes and wear them as jewelry!

    我要把你們的睪丸通通割掉,然後當作珠寶一樣掛在身上!

  • (Ian and Anthony screaming) (laughs maniacally)

    (伊恩和安東尼慘叫) (邪惡笑聲)

  • So much blood! (Ian and Anthony scream)

    好多血啊!(伊恩和安東尼慘叫)

  • Oh, these are wonderful scrotes.

    喔,這兩顆睪丸真漂亮

  • (suspenseful music plays)

    (懸疑音樂)

  • THE END?

    食物大戰系列全劇終?

- IAN: Mmm, oh yeah, that's good.

- 伊恩: 恩,喔耶,太好吃了

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 伊恩 甜甜圈 安東尼 大戰 食物 裁判

【Smosh】2016年食物大戰 (FOOD BATTLE 2016)

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    Steven 發佈於 2017 年 01 月 04 日
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