For like completely different, unrelated reasons.

為著完全不一樣、也不相關的理由

All three are mad at me right now.

三個人全部都在不爽我

For those of you struggle at math, that means that 100% of my children are angry with me right now.

我再特別為數學不好的人說一次，100% 我的小孩正在生我的氣

And you know what,

但是你知道嗎

I don't care.

我一點都不在乎！

You know why?

你知道為什麼嗎？

Because I am not their buddy, I am their parent.

因為我不是他們的麻吉，我是他們的老媽

They're angry at me because I PARENTED them.

他們對我生氣是吧？那是因為我正在教育他們！

My number one job as their parent is to love them.

身為一個媽媽最重要的工作就是要愛他們

And loving them does not mean making sure they are always happy and get every single little thing they want.

而「愛」他們並不代表讓他們一直都很開心，或者是讓他們想要什麼就有什麼

Loving them means raising them into healthy, decent human beings who I would actually wanna hang out with someday.

愛他們，是讓他們成為健康又正派的人類，那種我自己會想要跟他們出去的人

That's what loving them means.

這才叫做愛他們

Until my kids are adults, I am not their friend, we are not on the same level.

在我孩子長大成人以前，我不會是他們的朋友，我們也不會平起平坐

I'm the authority, my child's well-being is more important to me than my child's opinion of me.

我是有權威的，而我孩子的身心健全遠比他們對我的看法還要重要

My job is not to be liked by my kid and I don't take it personally when my kid doesn't like me.

我的工作並不是讓我的孩子喜歡我，而當他們不喜歡我時我也不會介意

And honestly, if my kids like me 100% all the time, I'm probably failing at parenting.

而且說真的，如果我的孩子總是百分之百喜歡我，那我可能是個失敗的家長

So listen, parents, I know this parenting thing is really, really, really, really hard. I know.

所以聽好了，家長們！我知道做好一個爸媽實在是件超級宇宙霹靂無敵困難的事，我瞭

And I know you're trying to do the right thing and you're trying to be strict when it's necessary.

我也了解你在試著做對的事、試著在必要時對他們嚴格

And then your child gets upset at you and then you give in. Don't do that!

然後他們就生氣了，然後你就會讓步。不要讓步！

Don't give in. Hold your ground.

絕對不要讓步！堅持你的立場

And I hear some of you parents say things like, "Oh my little kid is my best friend."

我也聽過一些父母說：「喔！我的寶貝是我最好的朋友。」

That sounds really cute, no?

沒錯，那聽起來是很可愛

But let's just be honest, if you're like 30, 40 something and your best friend is an eight-year-old,

但是讓我們說實話吧，如果你都已經三、四十歲了然後你最好的朋友竟然是個八歲的小孩

like that just WEIRD.

拜託，那真的超怪

That's weird.

真的超怪啊

Don't be so insecure and desperate for your kid to always like you.

不要那麼沒安全感然後總是希望他們無時無刻都愛你

Parent your child and then find friends your own age.

認真教育你的孩子然後找個和你同年紀的朋友吧

Now here's the good news, if you're trying to do the right thing and parent your children,

跟你說個好消息，如果你嘗試做對的事並好好教育你的孩子

They're not liking you is not terminal, it's not gonna last forever.

他們不喜歡你又不會死，不會永遠都這樣

Your know what's terminal?

你知道什麼才是沒救的嗎？

They're turning into entitled, bratty adults, the rest of the world now has to deal with. That's terminal.

讓他們成為自大的、被寵壞的大人，成為全世界的負擔。這才會讓人很想死！

But they're not liking you, that's not gonna last forever.

就只是現在他們不喜歡你嘛！這絕對不會持續很久啦

And I have some more good news, at least one brand of ice cream at your grocery store right now is on sale.

最後我還有一個好消息，在你家附近的超商絕對有至少一種冰淇淋在特價

So go get it.

所以快去買來享受吧！