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  • Ghouls are basically glorified vampires that eat human flesh.

  • That's why this shit's stupidly popular on Tumblr!

  • HEY OL' BUDDY OL' PAL!

  • I'm your BEST FRIEND!

  • Even though I'm not that actually relevant till the end.

  • GO HIT ON THAT GIRL!!

  • You mean the edgy teenager who looks like she has daddy issues?

  • hi

  • No, THAT ONE.

  • Do you want to come over for dinner?

  • [Fuck yeah she wants to have me for dinner!]

  • OH GOD SHE'S HAVING ME FOR DINNER!!

  • Tough luck!

  • I'm one of the strongest ghouls out there!

  • Hahahah!

  • HAHAHAHA-

  • (lol)

  • FALLING PIPES...

  • MY ONE WEAKNESS!!!

  • O-shi-e-te-

  • *coughing n' shit*

  • "Nope, can't do it."

  • Well that date could have gone better.

  • All your organs were ruptured but luckily there was a random lady next to you with all her organs intact!

  • So we just put them in you, no questions asked!

  • That sounds stupidly illegal and irresponsible.

  • I KNOW!

  • btdubs

  • If you're a ghoul, you can't eat human food!

  • (desperation)

  • [I DON'T WANNA BE A GHOUL]*vomiting in the toilet*

  • (crying)

  • Hey, uh, are you gonna eat that?

  • *KICK*

  • What the fuck is wrong with you?

  • *ANOTHER KICK*

  • Oh it's you...

  • eat this human meat.

  • NO!

  • I DON'T WANNA BE A GHOUL.

  • Eat it!

  • I DON'T WANNA BE A GHOUL!

  • (Kaneki still crying, spewing unintelligble nonsense)

  • *SLAM*

  • Nobody gives a shit!

  • Gramps, he won't stop crying...

  • can you help?

  • Drink coffee.

  • Wow, this is great.

  • See? This isn't so bad-

  • (Kaneki cries some more)

  • There he goes again!

  • C'mon. We need to get you a mask from anime Skrillex.

  • Hi, I'm anime Skrillex, and I'm not actually gonna do anything in the show.

  • ME TOO!

  • Me three.

  • What about him?

  • I'm fabulous and a potential pedophile!

  • Would you like to come back with me for some candy?

  • [Now Kaneki dear...]

  • [Remember what Mama told you to say when strange men who are potential pedophiles offer you candy?]

  • YES!

  • MOM YOU LIED TO ME!!

  • Sheesh, it was just a joke.

  • Here, you can clean up at my place.

  • [I don't see any harm in that!]

  • *Take My Breath Awaaayyyy!* (HARMONYYYY!!!)

  • (gross)

  • I'm a maniacal sadistic fuck who looks like he raped babies for a living!

  • I'm the righteous white knight partner!

  • Who for some reason doesn't care about anything he does.

  • Oohhh look...

  • A defenseless little girl!

  • Would you like some candy?

  • Don't fall for it it's a trap!

  • AAGH!

  • [Where the hell is that Kaneki when I need him?]

  • Oh what the fuck?

  • (Kaneki crying and spewing unintelligible nonsense... again)

  • I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

  • *WHOOPS*

  • [Oh God what have I done]

  • Shh, It's okay, have a Snickers.

  • I can't believe I got killed by a little girl!

  • Serves you right you sadistic-

  • [Wait a minute]

  • *climax intestifies*

  • [I LEFT THE STOVE ON!]

  • [oh and he was married]

  • ...

  • nooooooo....

  • I'm looking for my sister.

  • Nii-ssan?

  • He's your brother?!

  • (dun Dun DUU-)

  • Well, you two DO look very alike.

  • *Jason fucks up Kaneki*

  • Kaneki's been kidnapped!

  • Oh I'm sure he's doing fine!

  • (Screaming in the background) Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall. Ninety nine bottles of beer!

  • Alright, I GUESS we can get him.

  • Why are you doing this to me, Jason?

  • BECAUSE I'M A WALKING COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!!!

  • Haha, you look pathetic.

  • Says the person who got killed by some falling pipes...

  • Fuck you.

  • Hax mode: ON!

  • What?!

  • Why has your hair turned white?

  • 'Cause it makes me look more badass.

  • So why have your nails turned black?

  • 'Cause it makes me look

  • FABULLOOUUUSSSS!!!!

  • (Jason jealous of Kaneki's fab)

  • It's the most dangerous Ghoul of all time...

  • The One-eyed Owl.

  • Woah Kaneki you look different.

  • I am not Kaneki anymore,

  • I am...

  • Kan-edgy.

  • *silence*

  • Fuck you I have white hair.

  • So, are you coming back with us?

  • Thanks, but Imma join the people who kidnapped and tortured me.

  • What? That makes no sense!

  • Probably does in the manga!

  • I'll always remember your physically deformed face as you were trying to slaughter children.

  • Hey hotness, what brings you to this grave?

  • He's my dad.

  • HE'S YOUR WHAT?

  • We were so desperate for new recruits we even hired a small boy!

  • Why are you a girl?

  • I DUNNO!

  • Will you be my daddy?

  • Sure. Just make sure to behave yourse-

  • (maniacal laughter in background) Oh, there he goes maniacally killing things again!

  • They grow up so fast...

  • WATCH ME SPIN THIS PEN!

  • BBBRRRROOOOOHHHHAHAHAA oYAAAA!!!!!!

  • So, what now?

  • We listen to the out of nowhere awesome soundtrack!

  • *Glassy Sky plays while out of nowhere awesome things happen*

  • Does any of what happen matter anyway?

  • Probably does in the manga!

  • OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

  • Touka!

  • Kaneki's back in town!

  • [He's what?]

  • (DEJA VU)

  • *Deja Vu by Initial D plays*

  • hi-

  • *PUNCH*

  • FUCK YOU!

  • Fancy meeting you here again...

  • I was thinking about your dad, who I respected a lot.

  • My dad was a psychopath.

  • Yeah well he's dead now, so we're supposed to like him.

  • Oh God, talking about my dead father makes me so HORNY.

  • *romantic piano music*

  • [wait a minute...]

  • *never gonna give you up plays* (OHHHHHHHHHH!!!)

  • Hey guys...

  • GUYS!

  • Guess who I'm doing an impression of?

  • *silence*

  • Guys?

  • GUYS?

  • Oh, whatever just start the war!

  • (war starts)

  • I have to find Kaneki!

  • *Running In The 90's starts playing*

  • (Ready?)

  • *Build-up...*

  • (GO!)

  • *MUSIC INTENSIFIES* [Must Find Kaneki]

  • Oh GOD!

  • You look like Vash the Stampede and Alexander Anderson had a gay mutant baby!

  • And you look like Luigi started taking steroids!

  • [EPIC OWL FIGHT]

  • [epic owl fight]

  • (RUNNING IN THE 90'S! IT'S A NEW WAY OF LIFE TO ME!)

  • I'm DYING, ol'buddy ol'pal!

  • No!

  • *whimpering* You were...you were...

  • wait, who were you again?

  • I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND!

  • You were my best friend!

  • [Don't worry pal]

  • [I'll get you to the place you belong.]

  • *opening theme song Unravel plays*

  • [Here we go]

  • [we should be getting there aaany second now...]

  • [OH GOD HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN WALKING?!?!]

  • [My legs are in so much PAIN!]

  • [Are we almost there yet?]

  • [I hope to GOD Touka is doing better than ME!]

  • Olympics announcer: "And Jamaica retain their title, 36.85; and the world record has been taken apart!"

  • *Nightcore version of Unravel plays*

  • Hey guys, Gigguk here! Hope you enjoyed the latest episode of anime in minutes!

  • If you'd like to see the previous episode, which was Sword Art Online, or any featured episodes then just click on the links here!

  • And I'd like to give a HUGE thanks to my voice actors for doing a GREAT job at making this episode what it was.

  • Also I know

  • I said in the previous episode that I was aiming for a monthly schedule but,

  • in case you missed it, it's looking more like a 6-week schedule per episode at the moment

  • considering how much work it takes...

  • unless I can find someone to help me lessen the load in the future.

  • Anyway that's it for me, not many updates from me today.

  • So, I've been Gigguk and I'll see you all next time!

Ghouls are basically glorified vampires that eat human flesh.

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東京食屍鬼5分鐘 (Tokyo Ghoul IN 5 MINUTES)

  • 150 10
    Mine Shi Lee 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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