I see you when you're sleeping.

我看得到你在睡覺

I know when you're awake.

你不睡，我也都知道（譯註：這段為經典聖誕曲Santa Claus is Coming to Town的歌詞）

Okay, that... that's good.

好好，很不錯

Let's try it again; maybe a little more jolly.

我們再試一次看能不能表現得開心愉快一點？

Think "Santa".

想想聖誕老人都是怎麼樣

I see you when you're sleeping.

（笑聲）我看得到你在睡覺

I know when you're awake.

你不睡，我也都知道

I watch you when you're sleeping.

（笑聲）我看得到你在睡覺

Oh, yeah.

沒錯

I know when you're awake.

你不睡，我也都知道

I know.

我知道得清清楚楚

I'm making a list and checking it twice.

我寫了個清單，檢查兩遍

I'm gonna find out who's naughty or nice.

我會知道誰乖誰壞壞

Okay, I... I th... I think maybe that's a little too intimidating.

呃好，我在想，我在想這可能有點...

Yeah, but I... if you don't mind me saying, I think it's right, you know.

你不介意的話，其實我覺得這樣才是對的

Do you understand what Santa's saying here?

你知道聖誕老人講什麼嗎？

It's... he's making a list; naughty, nice. He's detailed.

他做了一張清單欸，乖小孩、壞小孩清單鉅細靡遺

He's single-minded.

非常堅定

He's an eye in the sky bringing swift judgment

他就是舉頭三尺有神明啊，要快速做出判斷的（笑聲）

Okay, but... but he's also bringing toys to children.

對，但他也是會帶玩具送給孩子們啊

Not the naughty ones.

絕不給壞小孩

And let me tell you something about that reindeer that ran over grandma.

再讓我來講講關於那隻跑過我阿罵頭上的馴鹿（譯註：梗來自Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer這首聖誕曲）

I will look for him.

我會去找他

I will find him.

我會找到他

And i will kill him.

我會宰了他

But do you mind if I... if I try something ⏤ and that's not a question.

不知道你介不介意我試試...這不是問句

Okay.

（清喉嚨）好的

Release the Kringle!

放開那個耶誕老人！！！！

It's "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"!

以上是史蒂芬荷柏晚間秀！