The holiday shopping is upon us.

同時也是年節採購的時期

And Amazon is trying to make it even easier by debuting a new store concept called Amazon Go.

亞馬遜公司近期推出的嶄新概念「Amazon Go」讓人們的購物更加的容易了

It's a store where sensors detect which items you’ve grabbed, charge your amazon account and you can just walk out.

這種店有感應器可以偵測到你拿的商品，並直接從你的亞馬遜帳戶裡扣款，結束後你就可以直接閃人

(laughing)

（笑）

Don't believe me? Take a look.

不相信嗎？請看影片。

Four years ago, we started to wonder...

四年前，我們開始思考.....

What would shopping look like

這種購物模式會是怎樣

if you can walk into a store, grab what you want, and just go.

如果你能走進一家店，選取想要的商品，然後直接離開？

(laughing)

（笑）

Now Amazon is calling this, "just walk out technology."

亞馬遜稱之為「拿了就走」科技

(laughing) Is this ground breaking?

（笑）這有很新潮嗎？

Well, that’s how I shopped all through my teenager years.

跟你說，其實我青少年時期就是這樣「購物」的。

Now... maybe other retailers can learn from this.

也許其他的零售業者也可以效法。

Hey, CVS pharmacy, are you watching?

哈囉，CVS 藥局，你們在觀看嗎？

(laughing)

（笑）

This is how you do self-check out.

這就是你自助結帳的方式。

Not me scanning my own stuff for 15 minutes while a women with the ring of keys judges me.

不需要讓我自己花 15 分鐘掃條碼，掃到被手拿著一串鑰匙的女士白眼

(laughing)

（笑）

Now apparently, it scans all you items and charges you later.

而是電腦會自動掃描你購買的所有商品並隨後扣款。

But I've got to say, at this point,

但是說實話，到現在，

I’d still be way too nervous that I’d get into trouble.

我還是很怕自己被誤認為偷竊犯

Do you know what I mean?

你懂我害怕的點嗎？

I'd go in, grab a sandwich and be like, "I'm taking this, ok?"

我若走進一家店，拿了一個三明治，會刻意強調：「我要買這個喔！」

(laughing)

（笑）

I'm leaving now, is...(laughing)

我要離開了喔。（笑）

Is everybody cool with this? (laughing) Good, ok.

大家沒有意見吧？（笑）很好，OK。

But I don't know. I prefer the normal way of shopping through Amazon.

不知道耶。我還是比較喜歡平常在亞馬遜購物的方式——

You know, buying stuff online at 2 a.m. and being surprised by whatever shows up at my front door. (laughing)

——凌晨兩點下單，然後享受隔天收到包裹時的驚喜

You come home from work--

你下了班回到家...

Ohhh, a Bowflex.

哇，Bowflex 的健身器材耶

But now let's talk about Donald Trump because this is a late night show and

現在我們來談論一下川普好了，因為這是深夜節目

It's apparently required by law.

而且法律規定我們這樣做。

Today, Donald Trump learned that a new air force one was being built for 4 billion dollars and it won't be ready until after his first term.

今天，川普發現新的空軍一號要斥資 40億美元打造而且還是在他第一任期後才會完成。

And he tweeted that he wants to cancel the order.

所以就在推特上表明他想取消這個訂單。

Now, coincidentally there are already a lot of voters who wish they can cancel an order that they made on November 8th.

恰巧，有許多投票人也希望可以取消他們在 11月 8日下的「訂單」。

(cheers and applause)

（歡呼鼓掌）

Does Trump think that twitter is like Siri for the presidency?

川普是不是認為推特是總統用的 Siri 啊？

He's like, "Twitter, cancel plane order."

例如他說：「推特，取消戰機的訂單。」

"Twitter, appoint someone Secretary of State."

「推特，幫我任命一位國務卿。」

"Oh Twitter, piss off the Chinese woman, Thank you."

「推特啊，請惹怒那位中國女士，謝謝。」

Why is he even doing this?

他幹嘛還要搞這個？

The plane wouldn't be finished until 2022.

戰機要 2022年才會打造完成。

"Hey, Trump, why you gotta cramp president Kanye’s style like that. (laughing)

「喂，川普，你敢麻這樣約束 Kayne 總統的風格」（笑）（註：Kayne 為美國饒舌歌手）

But here is some bad news for anyone flying this holiday season.

如果要在年節搭飛機的人，我有一個壞消息要報告。

United Airlines just announced a new plan where you will have to pay to store a carry-on in the overhead bin.

聯合航空剛發佈一項新的政策，那就是如果你要將手提行李放在機艙的行李櫃的話，就得付費

I know. What next?

我知道。以後呢？

In case of a water landing, your seat can be used as a flotation device for only 129 dollars.

若遇到飛機降落在水面，你的座椅將可成為浮在水面上的裝置，使用這樣的裝置只要 $129 美元。

Major credit cards accepted.

歡迎使用國際通用的信用卡結帳。

So for a lower price, you can fly this service which is called "basic economy."

您可以付較低的價格，搭乘「基本經濟艙」

Or for an even lower price, you can stay in the cargo holder with a bunch of Irish immigrants,

或付再更低的價格，您可以與一群愛爾蘭的移民同胞待在貨艙裡，

hoping to reach a new world.

一同盼望邁向新世界。

(laughing)

（笑）

Now, finally I have to show you this photo that went viral. I don’t know if you saw this.

最後，我要給你們看這張近期很夯的照片，不知道你們是否看過。

A couple in Disney World locked lips for a once in a lifetime photo in front of the Cinderella's Castle.

一對情侶為了照出一張畢生難忘的照片，在迪士尼世界的先度瑞拉城堡前喇舌

And they were accidentally photobombed by a woman who seems to disapprove.

但很不恰巧地被一位似乎對這事感到嫌惡的女人破壞了美好的畫面

(laughing)

（笑）

But hey look at the expression on her face.

看看她的臉上的表情。

(laughing)

（笑）

Now, I will say in her defense, that guy is her husband.

我來幫她說說話，我想那個男的是她的丈夫。

Can we have a look at the photo again?

我們可以再看一次那張照片嗎？

Look at her there. Look!

看她在那邊的樣子。看！

I don't know who this woman is, but I am positive her name is Linda. (laughing)

我不知道這個女人是誰，但我可以肯定她的名字叫琳達。（笑）

Now the thing is what you may not know, this woman has been photobombing kisses for a while.

你可能不知道，這個女人已經破壞他人親吻的畫面很長的一段時間了。

Like who knew she was present at this kiss? (laughing)

誰知道她會闖入這個親吻的畫面？（笑）

And look how she reacted to this kiss? (laughing)

請看她看到她們親嘴時的反應？（笑）

And who knew she can ever have had a problem with this KISS?

誰知道她也會對這個 KISS 有意見？（KISS 為美國重金屬搖滾樂團）