Name: 【TEDx】 Katerina Vrana 告訴你各國的刻板印象 (Stereotypes -- funny because they are true | Katerina Vrana | TEDxThessaloniki)
Uploaded: 2017-01-01T21:59:56.000Z
Duration: 15 min 41 s

I am Greek, I live in the UK, I live in London,

我是希臘人，我住在英國倫敦。

As far as the power to create goes, I am stand-up comedian.

自從創造力的概念出現後，我就是一位獨角滑稽秀演員

I've got two brothers, one is 30 the other is 14;

我有兩個哥哥，一個三十歲，另一個十四歲；

the 30 years old is a drummer and a photographer.

三十歲的那位是位鼓手和攝影師。

In fact, he is the drummer of the band that's going to be closing

事實上，他是樂隊的鼓手，一個靠近

薩羅尼加的 TED (Thessaloniki，希臘東北的城市)的地方。

So our Greek parents are very proud of our professional choices.

所以我們的希臘父母對我們的職涯選擇感到很驕傲

就像是：「那會賺錢嗎？」「不會」

喔！還有我的頭髮，我的頭髮。

My hair is like this because this is how it is, OK?

我的頭髮會這樣是因為他本來就是這樣，好嗎？

In Greece, this doesn't stand out that much.

在希臘，他沒有那麼明顯（這麼蓬）。

It's big, but it's not that extraordinary.

In the UK, it's become a sightseeing thing.

在英國，就會變成是注目的焦點。

People stop me in the street, people touch it without asking me.

人們會在路上把我攔下來，沒有問過我就去觸摸它。

And then, there's teachers that bring little children out

of the classrooms and go, "Look, look at the lady who looks like a tree!"

教室然後做出（以下這樣的行為）「快看，看這位看起來像棵樹的女士」

I was born here, I was raised here, both my parents are Greek,

我出生在這裡，我在這裡長大，我的雙親都是希臘人，

I have no idea why I speak English like this.

我也不知道為什麼我的英文會講的像這樣。

The rest of my family doesn't speak English like this,

我大部分的家人講的英文都不是這樣，

他們說的就像是完完全全的希臘人。

"How come when I speak English I sound awesome?

「為什麼當我說英文時，我聽起來很屌（如此的英國腔）？

And the rest of the family sounds like bloody foreigners."

然後我其他的家人聽起來卻像是個完全的外國人。」

"Ah, darling, when you were born, you were so very, very ugly!"

「啊，親愛的，當你出生的時候，你超級超級醜！」

Your father and I thought, "This one will need personality, and language helps.

你爸和我想說「這個孩子可能需要有個性一點，學習語言會有幫助。

I wanted French and maybe piano, your father wanted English."

我希望是法文，或者是鋼琴，但你爸希望是英文。」

"Yes Katerina, I wanted English," - that is my father -

「是的，Katerina，我希望是英文。」這就是我爸

"I will tell you why: because British royalty marries very ugly women.

「讓我告訴你為什麼：因為英國皇室會娶很醜的女生。」

No! No. William is already married, and Harry has very red hair.

才不呢！威廉已經結婚了，然後哈利有非常紅的頭髮。

And I haven't got anything against red hair, right?

我沒有什麼力場能紅頭髮有意見（我自己就有著爆炸頭），對吧？

It's because I would totally have the sex with Harry.

就只是因為我一定會跟哈利做愛。

I just, I wouldn't do it in the sun, I'd do it in the shade.

我只是，我無法在光天化日下做，我會想要低調一些

If you have sex with Harry in the sun, he'll explode, "Aaa!"

如果你在大太陽底下跟哈利做愛，他會曝光的。啊啊啊啊！

The thing is that I've been living in London as I said, for about a decade,

就像我說的，我已經在倫敦生活了近十年，

and what's happened is, over there I feel definitely Greek,

而情況是，在英國我就是個完全的希臘人，

but what happens is when I come back home

there's been a bit of a shift in my identity, and suddenly,

我對我是希臘人的自我認同卻有些許改觀

"Why can't the Greeks form orderly queues? God damn it!"

「為什麼希臘人就無法好好排隊呢？我的老天！」

I am trying to balance out the things to not feel foreign in two countries.

我試著在兩者之間去平衡，不要在兩個國家中覺得自己哪裡都部屬於

One of the things I've really come to find endearing about the British,

我發現英國很可愛的其中一件事是

When a British person gets angry, they write you a strongly-worded letter,

當一個英國人生氣時，他們會給你寫一封嚴厲譴責的信，

"Dear Sir..., regret to inform..., ... most upset!"

「親愛的先生...很遺憾的我必須要告訴你.....最糟糕的！」

An English friend of mine was in a train.

有一次我的一位英國朋友搭火車

The train got stuck, they stopped in the middle of nowhere between two stations,

火車停了下來，停在兩站之間一個什麼都沒有的地方

and they left them there for an hour and a half;

然後就讓他們在那裏乾等一個半小時

they didn't explain why, they just kept apologizing.

他們沒有解釋火車為什麼停下來，他們只是不停道歉

My friend's telling me this story said, "Katerina, I was so angry, I was livid.

我朋友跟我說的這個故事是要表達：「Katerina，我很生氣，我面色鐵青。

I was so livid, I was tempted to complain!"

我臉色超級臭，我被搞的要抱怨了！

there is no strongly-worded letter, there wouldn't have been a train."

那裡沒有時麼遣詞嚴厲的信件，也不會有人會待在火車上」

You keep the Greeks five minutes longer than they need to be anywhere,

你讓希臘人等超過五分鐘，他們一定無法忍受。

you know, like in the boat at the time of "disembarkation"

你知道的，就像是船要靠岸的時候

and it's like, "What? What you keep us here like animals, like animals?

那就會像是「啥？你要把我們像動物一樣關在這，我們是動物？

You call this an European country? This is not Europe, I don't understand!"

你說這是一個歐洲國家？這不是歐洲，我不懂」

"Where is the manager? I want to speak to the manager!"

「經理在哪裡？我要跟經理說話？」

"Please sir, please sit down, you are becoming hysterical!"

「抱歉，先生，請你坐下，你變得歇斯底里了！」

"Who are you to tell me what to do? Who are you?"

「你誰呀？憑什麼跟我說要做什麼？你是誰？」

It takes five seconds to escalate that level.

只要五分鐘場面就會昇華成這樣

the "Screw your mother!" It makes no sense!

「管你媽！」其實沒有什麼意思！

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【TEDx】 Katerina Vrana 告訴你各國的刻板印象 (Stereotypes -- funny because they are true | Katerina Vrana | TEDxThessaloniki)

applause

regret

slightly

screw