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Hello, hello mamis* (chicks) How's you doing? How's you doing? I gonna be your substitute teacher
How's you doing?
My name is Maria Linda Rosas Rodriguez de Segrita
de Seguan, bam bam la bam, gracias* (thanks) I love much a you* (I love you to much)
Where is Ms. Marie Helen?
Oh sweetie, She is in my school, PS2, 24
a part of the teacher´s exchange program
She is over there right now
Let's pray for her, oh los dios mio! (oh my god) She's gonna get killed
Ok, far away your books
-Far away your books sweeties -Tea..teacher..this is algebra class
Attention mamis (chicks), I'm here for sex educacion* (education)...ok?
Lesson numero uno* (number one)
Don't be a slut, wash your butt!
Listen mamis *(chicks)
Women have a lot more crevices than guys do
a lot of dark and mysterious places for the funk to be hiding
Honey, we'll hide on you
seek it out, deodorize, perfumerize* (perfumerize), sanitize!
Ok, we well
Lesson numero two-no* (number two)
There is no excuse to be loose!
A cup, B cup, C cup, whetever strap them things down, mamis
Wait a minute, wait a minute! Why you not wearing a bra?
-I don´t need to wear a bra -Ooooh!
wait a minute, wait a... listen miss tatas
nobody wants to see you stuff hanging all the time
honey, if you don't be putting a bra
one day they gonna hang down like suspenders, that is just nasty!
Ok, escuchen (listen)
Ok, um... Mrs... whatever
um.. this is all really informative
but how are we going to learn our stuff for algebra test?
Escuchen mamis (listen chiks)
the only test you gonna worry about passing is the pregnancy test
because if you get an F, that stands for "Fertilized"
-y* (and) the stick turns blue mamis (chicks) -(yuck) -Okay, okay
Now, I wanna give you an analogy. Who can explain what an analogy is?
An analogy is a correspondence in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar
Muy bueno* (very good) R2-D2, but not
An analogy is that you used to explain when something sounds like another something
-verdad?* (isn´t?) -No
It's simula but it ain't da same
Estúpida!* (Stupid)
lesson numero tres* (number three)
get this down honeys
Kissing leads to humping, just like farting leads to pooping!
I do not think my mother will approve of you, Miss Teacher Farty Poopy
Kind of, kind of a bad teacher
I'm not learning anything
Listen... ok fine... ok fine, I try to teach you something
but if you wanna go and be a hoe, just go
Sit your butt down, mami!
Oooh~ dang! She called you a hoe!
Listen to me, listen! I'm trying to save your lives over here
There are men out there that want your stuff, this is good stuff you gotta protect it!
Listen mamis, they fighting wars for your stuff
you got... is getting worst
They'll be putting testosterone in the water, mamis
Listen, if you gonna be humping, at least put on something!
This is against god!
Listen mami, don't be afraid of this, this is profilactico* (prophylactic)
I know
Don't be listening to all guys talk about on this don't feel natural
You know what? Neither does this, you see this?
In the summertime, you'll be hot, you know what I'm saying?
Oh, I lost... OK, I gotta go outside and smoke a cigarette, you know what I'm saying?
and I come back in and we give to lesson number four
If you didn´t get yours, he didn't do his chores
Are you ready for that? Is so estupidas, is so young.


Mad TV - Substitute teacher 代課老師

3167 分類 收藏
Simon Chen 發佈於 2013 年 6 月 2 日    Steven 翻譯    Mandy Lin 審核
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