P: Yeah, you heard the beep

是啊，你聽到嘟嘟聲了吧

R: You sound different today Sean

Sean你今天的聲音不太一樣

R: Welcome back to another episode of

歡迎回到這一集...

R: Cooking...

烹飪...

R: ...but not really

...但不是真的

R: This time

這一次

R: Sean's not here

Sean不在這裡

R: I don't know what character that is

我不知道那是什麼角色

P: I don't know what that was

我也不知道那是什麼

R: Alright so

好吧，那麼

R: This is a special surprise edition

這是特別驚喜的一集

R: of Cooking, but not really

「烹飪，但不是真的」

R: Paco's playing Sean today

Paco今天代替Sean出演

P: What's up

嗨各位

P: I'm sean

我是Sean

P: ...but not really

......但不是真的

R: That's not a good Sean impression

這不太像是Sean的印象

R: You gotta do the eye thing

你可以做Sean那種眼技 (註：Sean會一種將兩眼分開的技能)

P: That's so hard

這也太難了吧!

R: You gotta go outwards

你要兩眼分開

P: I-I don't know how he does that

我...我不知道他是怎麼做的

R: That's why Sean, nobody can replace Sean

這就是Sean，沒有人能取代Sean

R: Alright so, today is Sean's birthday and

好吧，那麼，今天是Sean的生日

R: We had, I had this idea

我們有... 我有這個想法

R: Literally like one hour ago

從字面上看像一小時前

R: It's 3 o'clock

現在是3點

R: He's coming over

他會過來...

R: And everybody's coming over here at 7

每個人在七點都會過來

R: So we have four hours to get this done

所以我們有四個小時能完成這件事

R: What I wanna do

我想幹什麼

R: I don't even know

我不知道

R: If it's possible

如果有可能

R: But we have to get him a - a

我們要給他一個 ...一個

R: I wanna make him a cake

我想給他做一個蛋糕

R: But not a - a dessert cake

但不是甜點蛋糕

R: Like a food cake

像是那種熟食蛋糕

R: For those of you that don't know

對於那些你可能不知道

R: Sean loves KFC Famous Bowls

Sean喜歡肯德基的「Famous Bowl」 (註：肯德基的其中一個產品)

R: Ever since like in High School, when it came out

好像是從高中開始，當它推出之後

R: For us, that's like his favourite food

對我們來說，這就是他最喜歡的食物

R: So what I wanna do

所以我想做的

R: Is make him a *giggles*

幫他做一個...

R: Famous cake? I don't know

「Famous蛋糕」？我不知道

R: This sounds, this sounds so stupid

這聽起來...這聽起來好像有點蠢

R: Now that I say it back

現在我收回這句話

R: It was good in my head

這在我腦中覺得還不錯

R: Alright, so we're gonna make a Famous Bowl cake

好了，所以我們要做出一個「Famous Bowl 蛋糕」

R: We have no time

我們沒有時間了

R: We have four hours to get everything, get it done

我們有四個小時去買所有的東西，然後把它完成

R: We also have to get a regular cake

我們也必須去買一般的蛋糕

R: So we probably should go

所以我們應該要走了

R: And rather than just explaining this

而不是在這解釋這個

P: Yeah we probably should've just did it in the car

是啊，我們也許應該在車上再解釋

R: Yeah, let's go, we should-

是啊，走吧，我們應該...

R: Alright, so we're on the way

好的，我們在路上了

R: Does KFC offer extra like- just corn?

肯德基是否提供額外的...像是玉米？

R: and just-

和...

P: Oh yeah, they have sides of corn

哦，是啊，他們有玉米

R: And just cheese?

和起司

P: And I'm sure we can just order sides of cheese

我肯定我們可以只點起司

P: If not, I mean, we're at Smith's-

如果不能，我的意思是，我們在Smith's...

R: Oh actually you know what? I have cheese at home

哦，其實你知道嗎？我在家裡還有起司

R: It might be old

可能放有點久了

P: I'd eat it

我還是會吃

R: No, we're using the old cheese

不，我們用舊的起司就好

P: Okay, old cheese it is

好，就用它了

R: Yep

是的

P: i think if cheese gets old

我想如果起司變老

P: It just grows another letter

它會變成另一種文字

R: Ha! Mold, get it?

哈！發霉，明白了嗎？

P: *laughs* You got it!

哈哈哈哈，你猜對了！

R: We don't know what kind of cake to get Sean

我們不知道要買你一種蛋糕給Sean

R: I've known him for 20 years

我認識他20年了

R: And I don't know what kind of cake he likes

但我不知道他喜歡什麼樣的蛋糕

R: Same burger cake that Derrick got?

跟Derrick一樣的漢堡蛋糕呢? (註：之前Derrick生日也給他漢堡蛋糕)

R: We got for his birthday?

我們在他生日買這蛋糕？

R: "Dang, a burger cake?

「靠，一個漢堡蛋糕？」

R: That's wassup"

這是挖~操~

R: It might work

也許可以喔

R: Get it again and we're like,

再買一次，然後我們就會說：

R: "Dang, another burger cake?

「靠，另一個漢堡蛋糕？」

R: That's double wassup"

這是雙倍的挖~操~

R: Alright, we're doing it

好吧，決定了

P: Okay *laughs*

哈哈哈好

R: Alright, what else do we need?

好了，還有什麼需要買的？

R: So,

那麼...

P: Gravy

肉汁

P: Mashed potatoes

馬鈴薯泥

R: And one extra corn

還有額外的玉米

R: We have cheese

我們有起司了

R: Hi can I get um,

嗨！我想要...嗯...

R: Ten Famous Bowls

十個 Famous Bowls

R: Four... mashed potatoes

四個...馬鈴薯泥

R: One corn

一個玉米

R: Four gravy

四份肉汁

R: Two...popcorn chicken nuggets

兩個...雞米花

R: Probably trippin' out right now

也許現在跳出來了

R: Alright, so we spent 40 minutes

好的，我們花40分鐘

R: Getting supplies, we still have

獲得這些物資，我們仍然有...

R: Do the math

算一下 算一下 算一下 算一下

P: Three hours and twenty minutes!

三小時二十分鐘！

R: What time is he coming? Seven!

他什麼時候來...七點！

R: Three hours and twenty minutes,

三小時二十分鐘

R: That's a lot of time

時間還滿充裕的

R: This is easy

簡單

P: Yeah we're pretty much done

是啊，我們有足夠時間完成它

R: I know, 'cause we didn't have to actually make it

我知道，因為我們不用真的去製作

R: Alright so this is not a REAL Cooking, but not really

所以這是不是一個真正的「烹飪，但不是真的」

R: 'Cause we're not even kind of cooking

因為我們甚至沒有烹調

R: This is like-

這是比較像...

R: Shaping, but not really *laughs*

「朔造，但不是真的」

P: It's a new segment

這是一個新的部分

R: We got- no well, you know what?

我們不...嗯...你知道嗎？

R: You know what? This is-

你知道嗎？這是...

R: This is still cooking

這仍然是烹飪

P: But not really

但是不是真的...

R: Not really

不是真的

P: Rollin'

到達

P: Rollin'

到達

R: We're wasting time

我們在浪費時間

R: First thing you need to do

你需要做的第一件事

R: In order to make cake,

為了做蛋糕

R: You need the cake

你需要蛋糕...

R: ...tray

托盤...

R: Aw, this is perfect. Look at that

噢，完美！看那個

R: Perfect- aw... it's gonna fit

完美...額...要剛好適合(托盤)

P: Yeah, it'll fit. Pretty sure it'll fit

是啊，剛剛好，非常肯定它剛剛好

R: Alright so we're gonna do this

所以我們要做這個..

R: This is the idea

這個主意

R: Okay, so what we're doing is

好了，我們正在做的是...

R: We're gonna empty these, like

我們要虛擬一下，像是...

R: I don't wanna show you, 'cause I'm don't wanna mess-

我不想告訴你，因為我不想弄壞...

R: Ey, I'm doing it

嗯，我做吧

R: We're gonna empty it out like this

我們來模擬一下像是這樣

R: Two, three, four

二，三，四

R: Squish it together a little bit better

一起壓碎讓它看起來更好一點

R: Put another four

把另外四個放下去

R: And then with that,

然後使用...

R: We're gonna use the extra mashed potatoes we have

我們要使用另外的馬鈴薯泥

R: I'm not, I don't know where it is

我不是...我不知道它在哪裡

R: Fill in the gap, the crevices

填補缺口和縫隙

R: And just sculpt

還有雕刻一下

R: I don't know~

我不知道〜

P: Waaait

等等等

P: Wa-wa wait, do you want to do this instead?

等等等，你想這樣做嗎？

P: Do you wanna layer the bottom a little bit?

你想要在底層圖一點點的奶油嗎？

P: With some mashed potatoes?

和一些馬鈴薯泥

R: Alright let's do that. I like that idea

好吧，就這樣做吧！我喜歡這個想法

R: So first layer?

所以第一層？

P: Go for it, dude

上吧，老兄

R: I don't know, I usually have Sean here to tell me like,

我不知道...平時都是Sean在這裡告訴我怎麼做...像是

R: That'll work, or that won't work

這可行，或是那不可行

P: That does work, because it creates a foundation

這可行，因為它是一個地基

R: Alright, now you're being a little more Sean

好吧，現在你是一個小Sean

R: 'Cause I tell him bad ideas

因為如果我告訴他不好的主意

R: And he tells me if it's gonna work or not

他都會告訴我這可不可行

P: Alright well, this one will work

好了好了，這可行

R: Scrap that idea, putting this back

廢除這個想法，把這個放回去

R: Aw man, I made a mess

噢天，我把它弄糟了

R: I just...

我只是...

R: UH OH

嗯哦

P: Push it out, yeah push it out

將它推出來，對，將它推出來

R: Eyy! Not bad!

耶！不錯耶！

P: One down, seven more to go

一個好了，還有七個

R: Dude, it's kinda fallin'

兄弟，它有點落下來了

R: Look at this technique, dude

看這個技術，兄弟

P: Damn, dude

靠，兄弟

P: After one you get it perfected

做完一個之後你就會更厲害了

R: I call this the uh...

我把這個叫...呃...

R: When we were younger and we didn't get

當我們還年輕，我們沒有...

R: Uh, arrested for doing this to your children

呃...沒有因為這樣做給你的小孩而遭到逮捕

R: Technique

技術！

P: You have to be a little bit more stern with your child

你必須要再更嚴厲的打你的小孩

R: BAD BOY! P: Borderline going to jail

-壞小孩！壞小孩！ -邊緣人去坐牢

R: UH OH

嗯哦...

R: It's not coming out

還是不出來

R: At this point we're basically reshaping it

我們基本上是在重新塑造它

R: OH YOU oh my God

哦，我的天啊...

R: Fix it! Hurry!

修好它！快點！

P: Ugh! It's kinda hot!

唉！這有點燙！

R: Okay don't- don't fix it then

好吧算了不要修了

P: There you go, there you go

好了好了

R:That looks awful!

這看起來太糟糕了！

R: Let's just think about this real quick

我們快點想想還有什麼方法

R: This is risky

這很冒險

P: Ooh! I do like risky

哦！我喜歡冒險

R: If we get all- put all four

如果我們把這四個...

R: Or all eight

或這八個

R: Or let's just do four for now

或者，就讓我們現在先做四個

R: Mix it all up so it's evenly dispersed

混合了全部，然後把它均勻地分散

R: And then reshape it

然後重塑它

R: Here we go

開始吧

R: This looks disgusting now

這個現在看起來好噁心

R: I mean, it works

我的意思是，好像可行喔！

R: Oh! I got it all over the pot handle

哦！我把鍋柄弄的都是

R: See? No Sean, no clean

看到了嗎？沒有Sean，就不乾淨

P: This means it's a lot to HANDLE

這意味著它有很多的處理步驟 (註：handle意指處理或是鍋柄)

P: Right?

是吧

P: Dude, right there, look!

兄弟你看！

R: This is a cake

這是一個蛋糕

P: This is a cake!

這是一個蛋糕！

R: This is... not holding anymore

這個已經支撐不了了

R: This does not look like a cake, dude

這看起來並不像一個蛋糕耶，兄弟

R: At ALL

全都不像

R: Basically, now that I think about it

基本上，現在我在想...

R: I have to redo this all

我必須重做所有的東西

R: Like, I shouldn't have done this yet

就像現在我不應該完成這個

P: Why?

為什麼？

R: 'Cause when you pour this on

因為當你傾瀉在這個上

R: I'm gonna have to reshape it anyway

我就得把它重新朔造

R: I know this looks disgusting

我知道這看起來很噁心

R: But I really want to eat it

但是我真的滿想吃的

R: Well does this look like a cake now?

那麼這個現在是否像蛋糕了？

R: Strategy #4: we're keeping it in the deep dish

戰略＃4：我們把它放到深盤上

R: Oh that feels nasty

噢，感覺好討厭

P: Wait, why are you picking it up like that?

等一下，為什麼你要這樣拿呢？

R: Why not?

為什麼不？

P: 'Cause you just pour it in

因為你可以用傾倒的方式

R: No, this is more fun!

不要，這樣比較有樂趣！

R: Look at that!

你看！

P: MMM!

嗯嗯嗯！

R: See, this is a real-

你看，這是一個真的...

R: How you actually cook

實際上你怎麼烹飪

R: You just use your hands

你只需要使用你的手

R: You don't need tools

你不需要任何工具

R: Oh you know what we could do

哦，你知道我們能做什麼

R: Now I think about it

現在我想想

R: Since we have it like this,

因為我們能像這樣

R: We can still make the top of the cake

我們仍然可以做蛋糕的頂部

R: Look like a cake

看起來像一個蛋糕

P: Yeah, that's what I was saying

是啊，這就是我說過的

R: I don't recall you saying that! FLASHBACK!

我不記得你說過！倒帶！

P: OH MY GOD!

我的天！

P: Yeah dude, it fits perfectly

噢老兄，這完全剛剛好耶！

P: Look at that

你看

P: This is like, this is meant to be

這就好比，這意味著是...

R: Yeah, this is what we intended all along

是的，這就是我們打算一起的

R: Strategy now:

現在策略是...

R: Is to spread this to make it all white

把它全部分佈在上面

R: And look like a cake

看起來像一個蛋糕

R: This looks like it could be something sweet

這看起來像是甜的

P: You would never even know

你永遠不會知道的

R: Hey, this is looking good!

嘿，這看起來很不錯耶！

R: This is starting to look like a cake

這開始看起來像一個蛋糕了

R: See the technique?

看到這個技術了嗎？

R: See?

看到了嗎？

R: BAM!

BAM！

P: The head jerk, that's important

蠢豬，這是很重要！

R: So, we have two options:

所以，我們有兩種選擇：

R: We wait a little bit

我們等一下下

R: Flip it out somewhere so we can finish it up

翻轉出來，然後我們完成它

R: Or we keep it like this and design it like this

或者我們保持這樣，然後在上面創作

P: Design it like this!

在上面創作！

P: This looks good!

這看起來不錯！

P: This is covering up our flaws

它掩蓋了我們的缺陷

P: This is the makeup of our cake

這是我們的蛋糕妝

R: Cheese first

首先是起司

R: So just put this throughout

把它撲滿

R: These are taking place of the sprinkles

正在灑這些起司

R: I think it looked more like a cake without the cheese

我覺得它沒有起司看起來更像蛋糕

R: Well, you know what?

嗯，你知道嗎？

R: We'll just tell Sean we made him a Famous Bowl

我們告訴我們Sean我們做了Famous Bowl 給他

R: A gigantic Famous Bowl

一個巨大的Famous Bowl

R: So we got the cheese

我們得到起司了

R: Now it's time to layer it with the chicken

現在是時候用雞米花這層了

R: I really, really hope we have enough chicken

我真的真的希望我們有足夠的雞米花

R: If not, we gotta space these bad boys apart

如果沒有，我們得把這些壞男孩分開

P: Ay, there we go, there we go look

欸好了，還不錯欸

R: I don't know, we're running pretty low

我不知道，我們運行的很慢

R: Life hacks.

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