This has gone on long enough. This ends now!

這已經花我夠多的時間了，是時候該結束一切了！

Dude, stop pushing so hard. That's why you keep getting hemorrhoids.

老兄，不要再這麼用力了。難怪你會一直得痔瘡。

It's time to DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- Duel!

是時候要決、決、決、決、決鬥了！

Now remember Yugi, when you start to stutter, go ahead and calm down and take it slow.

遊戲，記得，當你口吃的時候⋯⋯試著冷靜一點然後說慢一點。

It's time to d- du- duel.

是時候要決、決鬥了！

Very good.

非常好。

News anchor: And now to Pallet Town, where a local man was found guilty of animal cruelty.

新聞播報：現在讓我們把鏡頭轉到武鬥鎮，在這裡有一個男人被發現虐待動物。

Reporters: Ash! Ash! Ash! Ash!

記者：小智！小智！

Reporter 1: Is it true that you abused animals?

記者：你有虐待動物，是真的嗎？

Ash: No comment.

小智：不予置評。

Reporter 1: What do you have to say to people who capture wild animals and keep them in confined balls?

記者：你有什麼話要對那些跟你一樣，捕捉野生動物還把牠們關在球裡的人說？

Reporter 2: What about the accusation you are part of a pet underground battling society?

記者：那對於那些你參加地下寵物互鬥的控訴你有什麼回應？

Reporter 3: Do you regret picking a Pikachu?

記者：你會後悔你抓了皮卡丘嗎？

Ash: No comment.

小智：不予置評。

Reporter 3: Ash, what about the threesome with you Brock and Misty?

記者：小智，那跟你一起幹壞事的三人組裡是不是還有小剛跟小霞？

Hey. It was always just Brock.

嘿，一直都只有小剛而已。

Reporters: ASH! Ash! Ash!

記者：小智！小智！

Naruto!

鳴人！

Sasuke!

佐助！

Naruto!

鳴人！

Sasuke!

佐助！

Naruto!

鳴人！

Sausage!

香腸！

What?

什麼？

Oh, oops.

糟了。

Did you just call me sausage? That's not even a good joke.

你剛剛叫我「香腸」嗎？那一點都不好笑喔。

No, no, no. Sorry. The script must have auto corrected Sasuke to sausage.

不不不，我很抱歉。自動校正功能把「佐助」該成「香腸」了。

You know I was just going to hurt you, Naruto. But now I'm going to kill you!

不用再說了，我原本只是想傷害你，鳴人，但我現在想殺了你！

Prepare yourself, Naruto.

準備接招吧，鳴人。

Are you gonna do it, or?

你到底有沒有要出招，還是...？

Just shut up, okay? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to remember all of this?

閉嘴好嗎？你知道我要記住這些手勢有多難嗎？

I mean, do you really have to do all that sign language? I mean, we already have subtitles.

我指，你真的要做完全部的手勢啊？怎麼說呢，我們有字幕在底下做輔助啊。

I said, shut up!

我說了，閉嘴！

Okay. Sorry.

好的，抱歉。

Seriously, how much longer are you gonna -

講認真，你到底要耗上多...

I'm almost done! Can you just let me finish?

我就快好了，你不能讓我一次做完嗎？

Fine! Just hurry up.

好啦！你快點就是了

Okay. Now where was I?

我剛剛做到哪裡了？

Say goodbye, Naruto.

再見了，鳴人

SASUKE!!!!

佐助！！！

SAUSAGE!!!!

香腸！！！

I mean, it's cool that they put us in this magazine and all, but I don't really appreciate how they photoshopped us.

我覺得他們讓我們上這個雜誌很棒，但我不喜歡他們修圖我們。

Hey, Sailor Moon. I mean, I know you're the leader and all, but I was wondering, maybe we could switch planets for this year?

嘿，水手月亮，我知道你是主角，但我在想或許我們今年可以換個星球？

Yeah, we should do that.

對啊，我們應該這麼做對啊。

Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.

對啊，那樣挺好。

No, Sailor Jupiter. We've been through this. The planets represent who we are!

不，水手木星，我們討論過了。星球代表我們的特質！

But, I want to be Sailor Moon!

但是，我想當水手月亮！

You're too big to be a moon! You're the biggest one! That's why you're Jupiter!

你當月亮太大隻了，你是最大隻的所以你當土星！

Ugh, you bitch! I'm self-conscious.

你這個賤人，我很敏感的。

And, Sailor Saturn, you're the only one that can hula hoop here.

還有，水手土星，你是這裡唯一會搖呼拉圈的人。

I said I know HULA. I never said hula HOOP!

我是說我會跳草裙舞，不是呼拉圈。 (hula草裙舞，hula hoop呼拉圈)

And I can hula hoop a little bit. I can switch with Saturn.

我會搖呼拉圈啊，我可以跟她換。

No, because you have to be Mars. You're the manliest one, and men are from Mars.

不行！因為你必須當火星， 你是最像男生的。男人是從火星來的。

Well, if men are from Mars, then women have to be from Venus, and Sailor Venus don't look very womanly.

如果男人是從火星來的話，女人就是從金星來的，但是水手金星看起來不像女生啊。

- Actually, that saying is wrong. - What?

- 事實上，那個說法是錯的。- 什麼？

Women aren't from Venus. Hermaphrodites are.

女人不是從金星來的，陰陽人才是。

Hermaphrodites? You mean people with both parts?

陰陽人？你是說男女器官都有的人？

Yeah, a penis and a vagina.

沒錯，有陰莖跟陰道。

I don't even want to switch planets!

我根本不想換星球！

I'm proud to have a vagina-penis!

我很驕傲我兩個都有！

I'm proud to have a Venus!

我很驕傲可以當今星！

Well, why can't I be Sailor Moon? I moon just as many people as you do.

那我為什麼不能當水手月亮？我也以月亮的名義逞罰過很多人啊。

Yeah, but I keep my shorts on, Sailor Uranus.

是啊，但我至少都有把褲子穿好，水手天王星。

Are you slut shaming me?

你是在「蕩婦羞辱」我嗎？

(Arguing)

（爭論）

Guys, can I not be Pluto anymore?

各位，我可以不要當冥王星了嗎？

(Arguing)

（爭論）

Guys?

各位？

(Arguing)

（爭論）

Oh yeah. I'm not part of the group anymore.

對了，我已經不是是行星了。

Hey guys, smell your armbands. It's so...

各位，聞聞你們的臂章，好噁。

(Arguing)

（爭論）

Girls, right?

女孩們就是這樣嘛，對吧？

- (girl voice) Uh, what is that supposed to mean? - (man voice) No, no, no, no, I just meant that girls fight a lot.

- 呃....你剛說什麼？- 不不不，我只是說女人很常吵架。

- And guys don't!? - Yeah, I mean but we just use our fists!

- 男生就不會嗎？- 對啊，我們只會用拳頭！

So do we!

我們也會啊！

If you're looking for strength,

如果你在尋找力量，

if you're looking for a strong blade,

如果你在尋找利刃，

if you're looking to become stronger than you've ever been before,

如果你在尋找比以往都更加強大的能力，

then come on down to Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes, where we cut and hairstyle ALL anime heroes!

那就來「死神的理髮店」專門將您打造為動漫英雄！我們可以為您修剪各種髮型，統統都是動漫人物的髮型哦！

Men hairstyles to women hairstyles. Short, long, horny, we do it all here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!

不論是男孩還是女孩的髮型。短的、長的、捲捲的，我們都在「死神理髮店」歡迎您前來成為動漫角色！

You want that Super Saiyan look without all that Super Saiyan training?

你想要不透過那麼多的訓練就得到賽亞人的髮型嗎？

Well, I'm sayin', here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes...

就讓我再說一次吧！在這裡你可以得到所有你喜歡的髮型。

Of course we're gonna specialize in bleach and hair! We bleached some of the most famous heroes in anime!

當然了！我們會也提供漂白染髮服務，我們常幫動漫英雄們的頭髮漂白哦！

Heroes you probably thought were AALL natural.

那些動漫角色你以為他們的髮色都是正常的嗎？

Goku to Naruto to Lucy from Fairy Tail!

從悟空到鳴人，到妖精尾巴裡的露西！

We even bleached Sailor Uranus!

我們甚至幫水手天王星漂白髮色哦！

I mean, Pikachu used to be brown, but we got to him!

你看看，其實皮卡丘原本是褐色的哦！

'Cause like the saying goes, "You can't be a real anime hero without cool anime hair."

就如一句俗語所說：如果你沒有酷炫髮型，你不能當一個真正的動漫英雄。

Oh...

喔。

No!

不！

Noooooooo~!

不！

No what?

什麼不？

You - your shoelaces are untied. You almost fell and uh, hit these bricks down.

你的鞋帶掉了。你差點要跌倒，打到這堆磚頭。

Hey, thanks man. That's really nice of you.

謝了兄弟。你人真好。

Yeah.

Yeah!

不客氣！

Yeaaaaaaaah~!

啊！

Are you supposed to be One Punch Man?

你是一拳超人嗎？

Yeah. I can pretty much defeat any anime hero with one punch.

沒錯。我可以打敗所有的動漫角色，而且只需要靠一個拳頭。

Every anime hero?

每個動漫角色？

Yeah.

沒錯。

Oh!

歐！

Not too sure what I can do with that.

我不知道我能怎麼幫你耶。

I guess I could paint an arrow on your head, you could look like Aang.

不過我想我可以在你頭上畫一個箭頭。你看起來就會很像降世神通的「安」。

Delivery?

快遞？

Oh! Thank God.

歐！好險！

Just, uh, sign here.

在這簽名。

I don't remember ordering anything but...

我不記得有買東西啊。

Wait, I don't think I ordered this.

等等，我不記得我有買這個。

You're from Bleach, right?

你是「死神理髮店」的對吧？

Yeah.

沒錯。

Yeah, that was for you.

那就是給你的。

I don't even know what these are. What are these? Like colored rocks?

但我根本不知道這些是什麼東西啊？這是啥，彩繪石頭？

Yes, it says here that they are rocks, but it's a French brand.

嘿丟，那是彩色的石頭，還是法國來的。

So it's not "color", it's "colour"... rocks.

所以，那不是彩繪的...是有色的石頭。

What?

啥？

It's Clorox Bleach.

那就是 Clorox 漂白水。（Clorox Bleach 為一種漂白水品牌）

Wha... what are you... What are you doing here?

你在這幹嘛？

Just... dragging balls. See? (Dragon Ball Z)

就只是...拖著球，看到了吧？ (dragging balls 音近 dragon balls 七龍珠)

Hey man! What's with all the commotion?

嘿老兄，怎麼有陣騷動？

My shoes keep coming untied, no matter how hard I tighten them.

我的鞋帶一直鬆掉，不管我多努力的試著去綁。

Oh, I've got the perfect thing for you.

噢，我有個很適合你的東西。

What is that?

那啥？

It's a tack.

一個大頭釘。

How is that gonna help me tighten my shoes?

那要怎麼幫我把我的鞋帶綁上？

Just stick it into your shoelace and it gets tighter.

你就只要用它把你的鞋帶釘在你的鞋子上。

It's a tack to tighten. (Attack on Titan)

讓它們緊緊貼在一起 （發音梗：Attack on Titan 為進擊的巨人英文名稱）

Oh cool! This Fairy Tail shirt's only $9.99!

噢酷欸！這個妖精尾巴的上衣只要賣 9.99 元！

I guess you could say it's some pretty "fair retail".

你可以說那是個很平價的零售店。 (fair retail 平價零售，音近 Fairy Tale 妖精的尾巴)

You suck!

你爛透了！

Okay! Enough with the bad puns already! Okay, I get it.

好了，夠了，不用再示範了，你的雙關語真是爛到爆。

One Pun-ch Man.

雙關語超人。 （pun 是雙關語，punch 是拳）

Okay, you make puns. Very funny, I get it.

好的，你很喜歡雙關語，很幽默好棒棒。

Actually, I'm not One Punch Man anymore.

其實，我已經不再是一拳超人了。

What? The square root of 4? What? I don't get it.

什麼？根號四？你想跟我表達什麼？

I'm "four-root" punch.

我是根號四拳。 （four root punch 音近 fruit punch 一種雞尾酒）

Seriously? Fruit Punch? That's the best you can do?

真假？果汁飲料？這就是你能想到最好笑的雙關？

Sí.

嘿丟。

Okay, now, you really did go too far.

好的大哥，你現在真的有點太超過了。

You can't make that joke. You're Asian.

你不能開剛剛那種笑話，你是個亞洲人欸。

I know. That's why now I'm...

我知道，這也就是為什麼我是⋯⋯

...punchink.

punchink。（chink 是用來貶低中國人）

Okay, really did just cross the line on that one.

你剛剛真的太超過了。

Actually, I'm uh... still on it.

其實，我，呃，還在線上。

Look. Enough is enough already.

聽著，夠了，真的夠了！

A- Aren't you supposed to be One Punch... just one pun?

你不是應該是一拳超人的嗎？怎麼變雙關語超人了？

How many puns did you made already?

你今天到底說了幾個雙關語？

I don't know. Anywhere from one to a ton.

不知道。從一個到很多。

Wh- what?

什麼？

Aha! See?

啊哈！看吧？

I tricked you! You crossed the "too-many-puns-for-one-video" line, and now you can't make anymore!

我騙到你了！你越過「一支影片太多雙關語」的線了。你現在不能再說雙關了！

So now, I can finally end this video without a dumb pun.

我終於可以不用用愚蠢的雙關為這支影片做結尾了。

Well, you didn't say that was a rule.

你沒說有這個規則啊。

Well, it is! You crossed the line, so you can't make anymore puns.

是規則啊！你越過線了，所以你不能再說雙關了。

If you say so.

隨你怎麼說。

Yes! I do.

就是照我說的。

But just so I'm clear, this line represents the last pun of the video, right?

但我要說清楚，這條線代表的是這支影片最後一個雙關，對吧？

Yeah.

沒錯。

So, technically then, this line is kind of the line I'm saying right now.

所以基本上這條線就是我現在在說的這句台詞。

What?

什麼？

'Cause it's the last punchline.

因為這是一拳超人最後的台詞。（punchline 指的是好笑的梗，尤指故事或笑話的最後部分點題或拋出笑料等）