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  • - The two of you together--

  • first of all, the movie is hilarious.

  • I was laughing so hard.

  • And that whole gag reflex thing--

  • I don't know how you both didn't just lose it

  • every single time.

  • - I--I did.

  • I basically ruined the--

  • I mean, I ruined, like, 15 takes.

  • - We did a lot of takes. - Yeah.

  • Had you met before?

  • - Met, yeah. We'd met. - Yeah.

  • - But we didn't really know each other.

  • - I remember meeting Johnny-- I was invited to, like,

  • some type of aftershow thing in London.

  • - Yes.

  • - And it was the first time we really hung out, and--

  • - How long ago was this?

  • - Maybe four or five years ago. - Yeah, four or five years.

  • - And I went in, and, you know,

  • I thought I was, like, sort of cool

  • until I met him.

  • - [chuckles]

  • - And then he was, like, so cool

  • and rolling cigarettes and stuff and--

  • and I was like, "Wow, I'm a total nerdy mom,

  • and I'm like"--

  • [laughter]

  • And then he was like--

  • oh, I was like, "Wow, you can roll a cigarette like that?"

  • And he's like--

  • - It may not have been a cigarette, Gwyneth, but--

  • [laughter] - Got a good point.

  • - So you didn't really know each other,

  • and then you worked together.

  • Were there surprises?

  • Were there-- he's hilarious, isn't he?

  • That, to me, I think... - No.

  • - Is a surprise to a lot of people,

  • is how exactly funny he is.

  • - He's the funniest person I've ever worked with.

  • I wet myself and, like, pitted out laughing.

  • [laughter]

  • Was that-- was that in the bathtub?

  • [both laughing] - No, it wasn't.

  • - 'Cause--because I did wonder.

  • [laughter]

  • - Why the water was staying so pleasantly warm?

  • - It was so warm.

  • [laughter]

  • - So what drove you crazy about Johnny?

  • Tell us the worst thing about him.

  • - [clicks tongue] - [laughing]

  • - He's sort of perfect. - Yeah.

  • - I mean, he's pretty amazing. - Aw.

  • - Something must have-- no, something must have

  • driven you crazy working with him.

  • - You know how, like, your alarm clock might go off,

  • and it might say, like, "Oh, it's 8:00.

  • I need to get up and go to work."

  • - Right.

  • - I think when Johnny's goes off,

  • he's like, "Oh, I need to sleep for six more hours."

  • [laughter]

  • - Because I have to work today.

  • - Right. - [chuckles]

  • - He just has a different-- he's too cool

  • to follow a regular 24-hour schedule like we do.

  • - I see.

  • - I mean, my on time is just slightly late.

  • That's all. [laughter]

  • - Right.

  • - Well, then why don't people tell you, like,

  • an hour or two earlier so that then you would be.

  • - I've begged them to.

  • I've begged them to.

  • - And they don't do it? - They won't.

  • They won't fool me.

  • - [laughing]

  • - What did--what just--

  • they don't fool you?

  • - They can't fool me that way. - I see.

  • And what does Gwyneth do that is--drives you crazy?

  • - She's just Gwyneth.

  • [laughter]

  • She's just-- look at her.

  • - Yeah. - Yeah.

  • - She's fantastic. - She's a wonderful thing.

  • - She is a wonderful thing.

  • - All the way. Yeah.

  • - You each have two children.

  • How old are your kids now, Gwyneth?

  • - My daughter's 11, and my son is 8.

  • - That's crazy. - I know.

  • It's going fast. - And your kids, Johnny?

  • - My boy's 12, and my daughter's 15.

  • - And have they met?

  • Have your kids met each other?

  • - Our kids met Jack on set. - That's right, yeah.

  • - Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

  • - And what's the easiest?

  • The girl or the boy?

  • [laughter]

  • Yeah, I'll start with Johnny.

  • - Ha! Um...

  • Yeah.

  • [laughter]

  • Yeah.

  • - Are they both hard?

  • - They're both wonderful.

  • [laughter]

  • - But, you know, as a-- as a grown man and a father

  • and, you know, a man, uh...

  • there's--you--

  • there's nothing you can understand about a teenage girl.

  • Nothing. - Yeah?

  • - [laughing] - Yeah.

  • - Really?

  • - Yep. [laughter]

  • No, she's amazing. - But you're so cool.

  • - The problem is, she's more--

  • infinitely more sophisticated than I am,

  • and she can run circles around me,

  • and she knows that she's got me wrapped...

  • - Oh, I see. - Around her pinky.

  • - But she has to know how cool you are, right?

  • - I don't think she would ever think that.

  • - Really? [laughter]

  • - Most likely not.

  • - That's just insane that your daughter

  • wouldn't understand how cool--

  • Does--do your kids know how cool you are?

  • - Well, I thought they thought I was cool until--

  • we were just on holiday,

  • and my son asked me not to walk near him on the sidewalk.

  • audience: Aw.

  • - Yep. - Which felt great.

  • And my daughter was like,

  • "Mom, we're going to brunch without you, bye."

  • And I was like, "You realize I'm here alone.

  • Like, if you guys go..." [laughs]

  • They're like, "We're fine. We're going by ourselves."

  • So, yeah, Moses didn't want to walk next to me

  • after she didn't want to have brunch with me,

  • and I was like, "You know, like,

  • I'm, like, in movies and stuff," you know?

  • And he's like, "Exactly."

  • [laughter]

- The two of you together--

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約翰尼-德普和格溫妮絲-帕特洛在保持正直的面孔上。 (Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow on Keeping a Straight Face)

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