(Omg it's the jingle from the other two Chris videos, but this time extra spoopy)

殭屍？我知道。我看到他們了...

(A Distant Erotic Scream)

在陰屍路™的第六季...

Tom, there are zo-

可在NowTV™觀看

Zombies? I know. I saw them...

這是呃...這是一個贊助影片™嗎？

In season 6 of The Walking Dead™...

畢竟總得吃飯™

Available now on NowTV™

我不認為你需要再吃飯™

Is this erm... Is this a sponsored video™?

很傷人耶，克里斯。

A guys gotta eat.™

（吱吱作響的噪音......不，我不是在開玩笑）

I don't think you do Tom.™

克里斯，你被咬傷了。你會變成殭屍。

That hurts Chris.

我知道！我該怎麼辦？

(Squeaky noise... No, i'm not kidding)

你會變成一個殭屍。

Chris, you've been bitten. You're gonna turn a into zombie.

我知道，我該怎麼辦？

I know! What am I gonna do?!

你會變成一個殭屍。

You're gonna turn into a zombie.

令人難以置信。

I KNOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

我該如何阻止它，湯姆？

You're gonna turn into a zombie.

別擔心......我有一個想法...

(The slappiest of slaps)

（一個老掉牙的撥接上網聲™......我開玩笑的，其實只是沉默）

Unbelievable.

是什麼....哎唷！湯姆！為什麼！？！

How do I stop it Tom?

現在，你不會變成一個殭屍了。

Don't worry... I have an idea...

是啊！只是因為我就要變成吸血鬼™了。

(The Sound Of An Old School Internet Modem™... I'm kidding it's silence)

這不在計劃之中...

What is i- OUCH!! Tom!! WHY!!?!

湯姆！我還以為你很聰明！

Now you won't turn into a zombie.

愛因斯坦™很聰明，他已經死了，克里斯。

Yeah! Only because i'm gonna turn into a vampire™.

我竟然沒這樣想過？

I did not plan for this...

（湯姆是吸血鬼的奴隸™再次奮力一擊）

TOM! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART!

我有一個新的計劃。狼人™計劃。

Einstein™ was smart Chris and he's dead.

（咬下去）哎喲！

I never thought of it that way...

別客氣。

(TOMMY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER™ STRIKES AGAIN)

但狼人™更慘了！

I have a new plan. A werewolf™ plan.

這是這是狼者™克里斯。

(BITEY BITEY) OUCH!

我不相信狼學™好嗎，湯姆。我從來沒有 經歷過。

You're welcome.

我也沒有...也許它不存在？

But werwolves™ are even worse!

（爆頭™...不盡然，但它聽起來很酷）

That's wolfist™ Chris.

但我也不希望變成狼人™阿！

I don't believe in wolfism™ Tom. I've never experienced it.

幽靈™怎麼樣？

Neither have I... Maybe it doesn't exist...

但舞會就在明天，我會沒有身體™一起去。

(BOOM HEADSHOT!™ ... not really, but it would have been cool)

真的嗎？

But I don't want to turn into a werewolf™ either!

我很孤獨。

How about a Ghost™?

媽咪™怎麼樣？

But the prom is tomorrow and i'll have no BODY™ to go with.

我不確定是否準備好有孩子™了。

Seriously?

一個女巫™怎麼樣？

I'm very alone.

我不會下咒™

How about a Mummy™?

高智能馬人™？

I'm not sure i'm ready for kids™.

我不喜歡™

How about a Witch™?

外星人™

I don't know how to spell™

他在這兒合法？

Hyper Intellegent Horse Person™?

殭屍？

I don't love it™

噢，對！等等！ 不！現在我又變成 殭屍了！

Alien™

（殭屍傷心™）

Is he here legally?

那我該怎麼辦？

Zombie?

你會變成一個殭屍。

Oh yeah! Oh wait! NO! NOW I'M TURNING INTO A ZOMBIE AGAIN!

湯姆，做點事！

(Sad Zombie Cries Away™)

（湯姆會做什麼呢？等等就知刀...道了）

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!

哎喲！

You're gonna turn into a zombie.

沒錯！問題解決了。

T-Tom do something!!

我感覺從所未有的好？

(What will Tom do? Find out Nex- Now)

比以往更好。

OUCH!!

感謝，湯姆！我希望更多的人都像你。

There! Problem solved.

我也是，克里斯。我也是。

I'm all better?

哎喲！

Better than ever.

有什麼問題嗎？

Thanks Tom! I wish more people were like you.

我被一隻蚊子™咬

Me too Chris. Me too.

（我的天。）

Ouch!

不，我敢肯定一定沒事的。

What's wrong?

（這不是沒事吧！）

I've been bitten by a mosquito™

阿!!!!!

(OH. MY. GOODNEES.)

Nah, i'm sure it'll be fine.

(SHIT IT'S NOT FINE!!)

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!