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  • Hey, what's up, everyone?

    嘿 大家好

  • My name is Motoki.

    我是 Motoki

  • How you guys doing today?

    你們今天好嗎?

  • I'm great, thanks for not asking.

    我很好,謝謝你們的忽略

  • I just want to take a second and apologize,

    我想要花簡短幾秒道個歉

  • because I think I have a cold, and my voice sounds

    因為我覺得我好像感冒了,而且我的聲音現在聽起來

  • so weird right now, I don't even know, sorry.

    非常怪,我甚至不知道 @#[email protected]%⋯抱歉

  • If you saw my last video or some of my other videos,

    如果你有看過我上個影片或是其他的影片

  • you know that I'm single.

    你就會知道我單身

  • Like, very single.

    就是,非常單身

  • But it's cool, I'm fine with it, no biggie.

    但沒差,我很好,沒什麼大不了

  • You know, I cry myself to sleep sometimes, but whatever.

    你知道,我有時候會哭著入睡,但隨便啦

  • Having been single for a long time, I've been around

    我單身很長一段時間,身旁有著

  • a lot of couples, and you know, done some observing.

    很多對情侶,你知道,我做過一些觀察

  • Some stalking, same thing.

    幹過一些跟蹤事,一些同樣的事情

  • In watching these relationships, I've seen so much

    在看了這些戀愛關係後,我見過太多

  • stupid stuff that makes me not want a relationship.

    愚蠢的事情而讓我不想要進入一段關係

  • Now, don't get me wrong, there are obviously

    好,不要誤會了,戀愛關係裡當然有很多

  • great things about relationships, but there are so many things that ruin it for me.

    美好的事情,但就是有太多蠢事讓我無法接受

  • For example, public displays of affection, a.k.a. PDA

    舉例來說,在公眾場合曬恩愛,也就是放閃。

  • AKA PDA AKA PDA AKA... ♫

    放閃、放閃、放閃(自我陶醉)

  • Okay, chill, chill, chill.

    好了,冷靜冷靜

  • I'll be walking down the hallways at school, and oh look,

    我走在學校的走廊上,然後...噢,看哪

  • couples grinding up on each other against lockers.

    情侶靠著儲物櫃卿卿我我

  • Awesome.

    好極了

  • That also goes out to the lovey dovey flirts

    也順帶著在推特跟Instagram上

  • on Twitter and Instagram.

    肉麻的調情

  • (clears throat) By the way, don't forget to follow me,

    (清喉嚨)順帶一提,別忘了追蹤我

  • user name: @motokimaxted.

    我的帳號是@motokimaxted

  • (clears throat) What?

    (清喉嚨)啥?

  • I don't want to see you couples seducing each other, okay?

    我不想要看到你們這些情侶互相色誘彼此,好嗎?(無奈)

  • You can do it privately.

    你們可以私下做

  • Suppress your hormones.

    克制住你們的賀爾蒙(笑)

  • And they always say the same lame stuff

    而且他們總是在每個對話裡

  • in every single conversation.

    說同樣無趣的話

  • "Oh my god, I love you."

    「噢我的天啊,我愛你」

  • "No bae, I love you so much more."

    「不,寶貝我愛你更多」

  • "Oh, I want you inside me."

    「噢,我想要你進到我裡面」

  • "Uh, what?"

    「呃 ,什麼?」

  • Stop.

    停止

  • Stop that (bleep)!

    給我停止那(消音)

  • I just...(sighs)

    我只是

  • Ugh, you know?

    呃,你懂吧?

  • It's funny, though, when couples think they're madly in love

    不過有趣的是,當情侶們認為他們已經轟轟烈烈的愛上彼此

  • when they've literally been dating for like a week.

    但實際上他們只有也才交往一個禮拜而已

  • Oh yeah, that's love all right.

    沒錯啦,那就是愛情啦 (諷刺)

  • Like, am I getting invited to the wedding or what?

    這就像,現在是要邀我參加婚裡還是什麼的?

  • Which reminds me, I hate it when couples get so wrapped up in each other, that they stop hanging out with the friends that they've had for years.

    這讓我想到,我不喜歡當情侶開始膩在一起的時候,他們開始停止跟他們多年的老朋友們一起出去。

  • If you stop talking to your friends, then who are you

    如果你停止跟你的朋友聯絡,那當你的關係告終時

  • going to turn to if the relationship ends?

    你該向誰傾訴呢?

  • But that's none of my business.

    但這不關我的事

  • And that brings me on to my next point.

    而且這帶到下一個我要講的點

  • Relationships cause so much, so so much

    戀愛關係裡有超多、超級多

  • unneeded drama, uh, no thank you.

    不必要的麻煩,嗯,不了謝謝

  • Another reason why relationships suck is because they're expensive, especially for guys.

    另一個為什麼男女關係爛透了的原因,是因為它們很昂貴,尤其是對男生而言。

  • Why is it that guys have to pay for everything?

    為什麼是男生要負擔一切的東西?

  • Come on, society, this is 2014.

    拜託,社會,都已經 2014 年了

  • Where's the equality?

    性別平等在哪裡?

  • Hitler's dead.

    希特勒已經死了

  • I've seen guys drop so much money on gifts and dates,

    我看過男生在買禮物跟約會上砸很多錢

  • and they're like, "Where'd all my money go?"

    然後在喊:「我的錢都跑到哪裡去了?」

  • While single me is sitting at home like...

    而單身的我在家就像這樣...

  • (hip hop music)

    (嘻哈音樂)

  • Something that really annoys me is seeing people

    有件特別讓我惱怒的事是,我常看到

  • in relationships that are constantly unhappy because of their significant other.

    人們因為自己的另一半而常常悶悶不樂

  • That's stupid.

    那真的很愚蠢

  • Obviously, couples fight, but I'm talking people

    情侶會吵架是理所當然的,但我說的是那些

  • who are always upset with each other.

    總是對彼此不高興的人

  • Why do you do that?

    你們為什麼要這麼做?

  • You could be spending time doing stuff that you actually enjoy instead.

    你們可以花時間做一些真正樂在其中的事情

  • Oh right, my bad.

    好吧,是我不好

  • That makes too much sense.

    這說的太合理了

  • You know, I've never understood how younger teens date.

    你知道嗎,我一直都無法理解青少年要怎麼談戀愛

  • I think that at least one person in the relationship

    我覺得至少在關係裡的其中的一人

  • needs to be able to drive.

    需要有能力開車

  • I mean, how else are you supposed to go on dates?

    我的意思是,不然你要如何出去約會?

  • Isn't that the whole point of dating?

    那不就是整個約會的重點嗎?

  • You know, going on dates, right?

    你知道,出去約會,對吧?

  • Like are these freshman guys going to go up to

    好比這些大學新生要去

  • their girlfriend's house, and be like,

    他們女朋友的家,然後說

  • "Ay, come jump on my bicycle!

    「欸,來跳上我的腳踏車吧!」

  • "Let's go get some candy!" (laughs)

    「我們去買個糖吃吧!」(笑)

  • Y'all are wack.

    你們都是怪胎

  • I think that sometimes people feel pressured to be

    我覺得有時候有些人是被迫進入一段關係的

  • in relationships because other people are doing it,

    因為其他人都在這麼做

  • so they do it too to try to be cool.

    所以他們也這麼做,才能看起來很酷

  • Like guys at my school who find out I don't have

    就像是我學校的男生發現我

  • a girlfriend will try to convince me to get one.

    沒有女朋友時,會說服我要交一個

  • "Come on, dude, get that ass!

    「去吧,小伙子,把個妹吧!」

  • "Get that pussy!" (laughs)

    「快把到她!」(笑)

  • Like no, I'm good.

    不,我很好

  • Thanks, though.

    不過謝了

  • Girls, stay away from those guys.

    女孩們,妳們要離那種男生遠一點

  • There are so many that just want to get in your pants.

    外面有太多男生只是想「上你」

  • It's ridiculous, don't get pregnant.

    這實在太荒謬了,小心懷孕

  • Okay, since we're on the topic,

    好,既然我們在討論這個主題

  • and I get this question a lot.

    而我也常被問到這個問題

  • I don't even know why.

    我根本不知道問這個幹嘛

  • But anyone who's wondering, I'm a virgin.

    但是任何在猜想的人,對,我是個處男

  • "Wow, dude, you're such a loser."

    「哇噢,你這傢伙真是個魯蛇」

  • Yeah, I don't really care.

    對啦,我根本不怎麼在意

  • I'm sorry, I don't think about sex 24/7.

    對不起,我不會成天想著性愛

  • It's more like 23 hours a day. (laughs)

    更確切一點是一天想個二十三小時(笑)

  • Look, I'm obviously curious what it's like,

    聽著,我當然很好奇那會是什麼樣的感覺

  • but that's not my first priority in life.

    不過那不是我人生首要做的事

  • Same thing goes for relationships.

    同樣的在戀愛關係裡也是

  • I just want to have fun in high school.

    我只是想享受高中生活的樂趣

  • I don't want to have to worry about another person because I can barely handle myself.

    我並不想還要為別人擔心,因為我根本自己都管不好自己了。

  • I honestly think people spend way too much time

    坦白來說,我認為大家在學校

  • worrying about relationships while they're in school

    花太多時間擔心他們的感情了

  • when instead, they could, oh I don't know,

    事實上他們可以,噢我不知道

  • pay attention in class, yeah!

    專心上課,對!

  • (bleep) me, right?

    (消音)想罵我,對吧?

  • All right, that's just some of the reasons

    好了,這些就是一些

  • why I think relationships suck.

    我覺得戀愛關係爛透了的原因

  • Listen, I'm not trying to hate on anyone

    聽著,我不是要討厭任何

  • who's in relationships.

    在戀愛關係中的人

  • Obviously, I've seen teen couples have

    當然,我看過許多情侶

  • great times with each other.

    跟彼此有很好的相處

  • It just depends on who's involved and how mature they are.

    這完全是取決於人還有他們的成熟度

  • Plus, it's way more fun to rant about how dumb relationships are.

    而且可以誇誇其談戀愛有多麼愚蠢也比較好玩

  • It's kind of weird, because I feel like I'm missing out

    有點奇怪,因為我覺得我好像因為單身

  • on a lot of things being single,

    而錯過很多東西

  • but then I order some pizza, and we're all good.

    但是當我叫了披薩後,一切又是美好的了

  • But who knows, maybe I'll have a girlfriend next month.

    不過誰知道呢,也許我下一個月就交了一個女朋友

  • Probably not, because I have zero game.

    可能不會,因為我沒有任何「把妹神招」

  • But you know, there's always a chance.

    不過你懂得,總有機會的

  • But that's all that I have for you guys today.

    不過今天這個影片就到這邊了

  • My voice is gone.

    我快沒聲音了

  • I can't even, ah, blah, blah, blah.

    我甚至不能@#$%(亂發音)

  • By the way, for like the three of you who are wondering,

    對了,回答你們現在大概三個人在想的事情

  • this is a mole.

    這是一顆痣

  • Yep, I'm human, I have those.

    是的,我是人類,我有這些

  • None of you probably care, but I'm extremely

    還有一點你們可能不在乎,但是我極度地

  • self-conscious, and I just wanted to get that off my chest.

    沒自信,而且我真的很想把這個從我胸口移開

  • But I can't, because it's like literally on my chest.

    但我做不到,因為他真的就長在我胸上

  • Ha ha, I'm so funny, I should make YouTube videos.

    哈哈,我真好笑,我應該要拍 YouTube 影片的

  • If you enjoyed the video, please give me a thumbs up,

    如果你喜歡這部影片,請給我一個讚、

  • comment, subscribe.

    留個言、訂閱

  • You know what to do.

    你知道該怎麼做

  • I appreciate it, thank you guys.

    我很感激,謝謝你們

  • Also, don't forget to add me on your favorite social media.

    同樣的,別忘記要在你喜歡的社群網站加我

  • I post daily Snapchats, if you're into that.

    我每天會發 Snapchat,如果你喜歡的話

  • Thank you guys so much for watching.

    謝謝你們的觀看

  • I'll see you guys soon.

    我很快會再跟你們相見

Hey, what's up, everyone?

嘿 大家好

字幕與單字
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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 情侶 關係 戀愛 單身 男生 女朋友

你一個人嗎?讓 Motoki 來告訴你單身的理由 (Why I'm Single)

  • 48391 2606
    Penny Lin 發佈於 2016 年 10 月 26 日
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