will be taking your questions live over the phone

or through social media.

(SINGING) I am so smart.

I am so smart.

S-M-R-T. I mean, S-M-A-R-T.

ANNOUNCER: Ask him about women--

A woman is more like a beer.

They smell good.

They look good.

You'd step over your own mother just to get one.

ANNOUNCER: --or work ethic--

You tried your best, and you failed miserably.

The lesson is, never try.

ANNOUNCER: --or job advice--

If you don't like your job, you don't strike.

You just go in every day and do it really half assed.

That's the American way.

ANNOUNCER: --or commitment--

Weaseling out of things is important to learn.

It's what separates us from the animals.

Except the weasel.

ANNOUNCER: --or even sports.

Son, when you participate in sporting events,

it's not whether you win or lose.

It's how drunk you get.

ANNOUNCER: Tune in May 15 for this spectacular event.