I am not looking forward to yearbook pictures tomorrow.

Every time I try to smile naturally,

I always end up doing this:

Come on, you're so photogenic.

Just make sure you show off your puka shells.

Hey, you know our senior quotes are due tomorrow, right?

Yeah. You remember our plan?

You still down to pick quotes for each other?

Actually, I think I found you one.

"We love the things we love for what they are."

You remembered I like Robert Frost.

Yeah.

I actually think I got one for you too.

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take."

Wayne Gretzky.

I like that.

And I think future Peter will like that too.

Okay, I'm done with my profile. What do you think?

All right, let me see.

Really?

"I take the road less traveled."

I do.

Why won't you take my suggestion?

It's like, gold.

Like, pure gold.

Jo-wanna?

Yes. Jo-wanna date me?

That is just so bad.

Come on.

All guys love puns.

So bad.

Jo-wanna go get some sushi?

Jo-wanna get with me?

You need to stop.

Jo-wanna go to the movie--

[♪♪♪]

PETER: So you're done yet?

I'm not sure if it's ready.

Let me see.

Uh, here's your tip.

You don't wanna say you're DTF in your profile.

Why? Chloe said it means "Down To Flirt."

Being out of the country for seven years

has left you a little behind on the current lingo.

Whatever. You done with your profile yet?

No, I've been checking my fantasy league.

Are you serious? Peter, like--

We're supposed to do this together.

Motivate each other.

No, no, no, I want to. I...

just wanna meet someone in real life.

All right, well, I'm going live.

Ooh. Ready?

Wait. I feel really nervous.

Come on. No, it's okay.

Why am I nervous?

It's okay. Here we go.

Okay.

[BEEPS]

Chloe made it seem like people start messaging you,

like, right away, but...

Did you press the right button?

Uh-- Hey, hey, it's okay. It's...

Apps aren't for everyone--

[CELL PHONE BEEPING]

Oh.

[BEEPING MORE RAPIDLY]

Oh, you know, I'll just...

cancel it.

[CELL PHONE BUZZING]

Ah.

Oh, my gosh. What?

What, what?

Did you see Mark on there?

You-- Hey!

You don't wanna do apps.

You don't get to play this game.

Oh. Oh, oh, okay. All right.

[LAUGHS]

Okay.

Oh, wow.

All right. Well, I guess I'll leave you to it.

Happy swipin'.

Wow. Hello. Yes.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Man, I don't get you.

First, you make a pact with a girl not to date her.

Now you're telling me you don't wanna use dating apps?

I met all my girlfriends in real life.

Nobody does things IRL anymore.

Okay? That's why the term IRL exists.

Are you gonna help me out or not?

Yeah, I'm coming with the sniper. Go for the top.

Oh!

Man, you're asking me to do

something I haven't done since '07.

A time when phones were just phones.

Psh-- Are you scared?

You got no game without a phone?

[SCOFFS]

I've got game.

Okay.

Okay? Good techniques are timeless.

You know what, I'm gonna take care of you.

I'll take you to the spot.

It's got really good music, sexy bodies,

and it's members only.

Uh...I don't know about this.

Look, Peter,

You wanted off-app? This is off-app.

Let's go get some ladies. Heh, heh?

All right.

Why am I unpacking your things again?

Because I'm grading papers and shaping young minds,

and you're a very kind big sister.

Thank you.

[GROANS]

I hate this.

I feel so superficial.

All dating's a little superficial.

Yeah, but at a bar, you just...

kind of gaze past someone if you're not interested.

Here, I'm literally just swiping them away.

These are real people,

and I'm just treating them like they're disposable.

They are disposable. They're disposable humans.

Joanna, dating is a numbers game, okay?

You need to meet a lot of guys in order to find the right one.

Would you sample just one flavor at Froyo Life?

Absolutely not. You're gonna try 'em all,

and you're not gonna worry about

whether or not you're hurting boysenberry's feelings, okay?

Boysenberry should know that it's not for everyone.

I like boysenberry.

CHLOE: Do you?

'Cause Ryan is more like a... a plain tart.

Yeah, a tart with strawberries.

And mochi.

Joanna, you just moved back.

Why are you suddenly so anxious to find a date?

Did she not tell you about the pact?

What pact?

Oh, my God. Is this the high school pact

where you have to get married by the time you're 30?

Okay, yes, but... it's gonna be good.

Okay, it's just to help push us to get back out there.

You realize most people just date

without promising to marry a friend?

Oh, my gosh, Mark will not take a hint.

I'm clearly trying to ghost him,

and why can't he just accept that and move on?

I'm sorry, "ghost him"?

"Ghosting" is when you cease all contact. You just disappear.

It's moments like these that I'm so grateful to be married

and I don't have to deal with that stuff anymore.

You must miss it, like, a little bit, though, right?

The only drama I need or want in my life

is handcrafted by Shonda Rhimes.

On that note, some people need some flowers.

Peace, bitches.

Bye.

See you later.

LISA: Bye.

Okay, give me this.

Whoa, whoa. What-- What are you doing?

Go get ready. Four guys, 15 minutes each,

we're knockin' it out this afternoon.

Is that even possible?

Joanna, this is a dating application,

and these are thirsty dudes.

Yes, it's possible. I hope you're DTF.

Hey, I know what that means now.

[WEIGHTS CLANKING]

[♪♪♪]

Mark. What's up, man?