Name: 【TEDx】性愛除罪化，性愛是正常的 (Making sex normal | Debby Herbenick | TEDxBloomington)
Uploaded: 2016-07-19T04:06:43.000Z
Duration: 12 min 29 s

These days I work as a sex researcher and educator.

如今，我是一名性研究者和教育者。

過去簡單式

But when I first accepted a job, in 1999,

但當我第一次接受工作時，在1999年。

at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction,

在金賽性、性別和生殖研究所。

I was really nervous to tell my family that I would be working in sex research.

告訴家人我將從事性研究工作，我真的很緊張。

I was particularly nervous to tell my grandmother.

My grandparents lived around the corner from my family and I growing up,

我的爺爺奶奶就住在我家和我長大的拐角處。

And they were loving and kind, and generous people,

而且他們都是有愛心、善良、慷慨的人。

and also very Catholic, and very traditional,

But when I went to Boston to visit my grandmother,

但當我去波士頓看望我的祖母時。

and I told her about the job that I was taking,

she surprised me by saying that she was proud of me

她驚喜地告訴我，她為我感到驕傲。

and that she thought it was really important work to be doing.

並且她認為這是非常重要的工作。

This was not the grandmother that I knew.

But then she told me a story that helped me to understand.

但後來她給我講了一個故事，讓我明白了。

This is my grandmother and my mom as a young girl.

這是我的外婆和我年輕時的媽媽。

that she and my grandfather had tried for years to become pregnant,

她和我爺爺為了懷孕已經努力了好幾年。

and when they finally did it was a dream come true for them.

而當他們終於做到了，這對他們來說是一個夢想成真。

It was only in the midst of labor that she learned for the first time

直到在勞動中，她才第一次瞭解到

that her baby would be delivered not through her stomach,

她的孩子不會從她的肚子裡出生。

which is how she thought babies left the body, but through her vagina.

這就是她認為嬰兒離開身體的方式，但通過她的陰道。

Although she didn't use the word vagina when she told me this story.

雖然她給我講這個故事的時候沒有用陰道這個詞。

So this was an awful and frightening birth experience,

所以這是一次可怕而又恐懼的生產經歷。

and something that they had looked forward to for years.

也是他們多年來一直期待的事情。

In case you're wondering how it could get to that point, because I was :

如果你'想知道它如何能得到這一點，因為我是 。

her mom had died when she was a teenager, she wasn't around to tell her about birth.

她的媽媽在她十幾歲的時候就去世了，她不在身邊告訴她出生的事情。

I have no idea why her doctor didn't give her that information.

我不知道為什麼她的醫生沒有給她這些資訊。

Except maybe this was, you know, I mean, it was before Kinsey's time,

除了也許這是，你知道，我的意思是，這是之前金賽的時間。

that was before the sexual revolution, these things weren't talked about...

那是在性革命之前，這些事情沒有被談論... ...

But as a result, she thought that Kinsey's pioneering work in sex and reproduction

但是以，她認為金賽在性與生殖方面的開創性工作'。

That's why she thought it was great that I was working there.

這就是為什麼她覺得我在那裡工作很好。

Now she tried to do better with her daughter, my mom,

現在，她試圖和她的女兒，也就是我的媽媽一起做得更好。

by giving her more information about pregnancy and childbirth.

給她提供更多關於懷孕和分娩的資訊。

But still, they were uncomfortable talking about sex and bodies.

但他們還是不習慣談論性和身體。

so that's still how my mom felt about those things.

所以，這'還是我媽媽對這些事情的感覺。

And when it came time for me to be in fifth grade,

and my class was shown a video about puberty,

和我的班級被展示了一個視頻 關於青春期。

she asked me in the car on the way to dance class

"他們在學校裡給你看視頻了嗎？"

And she said "Do you have any questions?"

Now, two years later, I got my period for the first time.

如今，兩年後，我第一次來了月經。

I was with my grandparents, I didn't want to tell them,

我和爺爺奶奶在一起，我不想告訴他們。

So I had to call my mom because I needed help.

所以我不得不給媽媽打電話，因為我需要幫助。

she came back with a brown, paper grocery store bag

她回來了，帶著一個棕色的，紙質的雜貨店袋子。

and handed it to me, and said "Here, I have the things you need."

並把它遞給我，說"在這裡，我有你需要的東西"

The whole experience was so embarrassing and painful for me,

整個經歷讓我很尷尬，也很痛苦。

that months later, when I ran out, I needed more.

幾個月後，當我用完了，我需要更多。

I just was not going to approach that conversation with her again,

我只是不打算再和她接近那次談話。

but I didn't know where to get any, and I wanted to try tampons anyway,

但我不知道哪裡可以買到，反正我想試試衛生棉條。

'cause I swam all the time, and I didn't want to talk to her about it.

'因為我一直在游泳，我不想和她談論它。

所以我想，好吧，我有一輛自行車... ...

Now, I wasn't allowed to leave the neighborhood,

現在，我不允許離開這個社區。

I mean, we lived in the suburbs, far away from any stores.

我的意思是，我們住在郊區， 遠離任何商店。

I only was supposed to be driving, like a block or two on my bike

我本來只想開車，騎車走一兩個街區就到了

the farthest I'd ever ridden on my bike alone was point B,

最遠的我'我獨自騎車騎過的是B點。

and I figured out that there was this store in South Miami,

So one day when I got enough nerve, and figured no one was gonna miss me

所以有一天，當我有足夠的勇氣， 並認為沒有人會想念我，

and I pedaled what ended up being  five miles following this route.

It's fairly straight, but it actually crosses a lot of busy streets.

它'相當直，但實際上它穿過了很多繁忙的街道。

And I was really worried about getting caught,

put the plastic bag on my handlebars, and rode back the five miles,

把塑膠袋放在我的車把上，然後騎了五里路回來。

My mom will find out when she hears this talk.

end up riding their bikes disobeying their parents,

you know, all because this is so uncomfortable for them,

你知道，這都是因為這對他們來說太不舒服了。

it's not the only bad outcome of a society that doesn't talk about sex.

它'不是唯一的壞結果的社會，不'談論性。

When sex is treated as abnormal, doctors and patients don't talk about sex.

當性被當作不正常的時候，醫生和病人都不會談論性。

It's not unusual for cancer patients in my line of work

在我的工作中，癌症患者並不少見。

to tell me that they've had 50 or 100 or more medical appointments,

告訴我，他們'已經有50或100或更多的醫療預約。

and never once had a health care provider

而且從來沒有一次有一個保健提供者

mention the serious sexual side effects to them.

we don't talk about it or teach about it in schools.

我們不談論它或在學校裡教它。

And when the CDC maps  sexually transmissible infections,

而當疾控中心繪製性傳播感染圖時。

it's perhaps not surprising,  that they tend to cluster

這也許並不奇怪，他們傾向於集聚

in areas of the country known for lack of sex education.

在國內以缺乏性教育著稱的地區。

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【TEDx】性愛除罪化，性愛是正常的 (Making sex normal | Debby Herbenick | TEDxBloomington)

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