I'll just put them under my tree.

我會把他們擺在我的耶誕樹底下

Wait! You bought me a present? Uh huh. But why would you do such a thing? I don't know,

等等！你買了禮物要送我？ 啊哈? 你為什麼會做這種事？ 我不知道

because it's Christmas? No, Penny! I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation

因為是聖誕節呀？不，潘妮！我知道你一向慷慨，但送禮

of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation.

的基礎乃基於互惠。你不用給我禮物啦，這樣我就有必須回禮的義務。

Don't feel bad, Penny, it's a classic rookie mistake. My first Hannukah with Sheldon, he

別難過，潘妮，新手都會犯這種錯誤。當年我買了光明節燭台給謝爾頓，他

yelled at me for 8 nights.

跟我嚷嚷了八個晚上。

Honey, it's ok, you don't have to get me anything in return. Of course I do! The essence of

親愛的，沒關係，你不必給我任何回報。 我當然會！耶誕節的

the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value

習俗精髓就是我現在必須出門去買等價的禮物來回禮

and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift

藉此表達相同認知水準的情誼。

you've given me. That's no wonder that suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.

這也難怪，每年的這個時候自殺率都會飆升

Ok, forget it. I'm not giving you a present. No, it's too late! I see that elf sticker

好，算了。我把禮物收回來。不行，為時已晚！我看到小精靈貼紙

says "To Sheldon". The die has been cast. The moving finger has write：Hannibal has crossed

上面寫著「給謝爾頓」，木已成舟，這些都已變成

the Alps.

具體事實。

I know, it's funny when it's not happening to us.

我知道，這種事不發生在我們身上，會很好笑

Sheldon, I am very very sorry. No, no, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing

謝爾頓，我非常非常抱歉。不，不，這些都是我自找的，誰叫我是你的真愛

and important part of your life. I'm going to need a ride to the mall.

也是你生命中很重要的部分。我需要有人載我去購物中心。

It's happening to us.

現在發生了。