YOU'RE AT THE TOP OF YOUR GAME, AT THE TOP OF YOUR PROFESSION.

BOTH YOU, BUT BOTH YOU AN I ARE SORT OF.

>> WE'RE DOING GOOD.

>> Stephen: WE'RE DOING GOOD.

WE'RE TOP NOTCH ACTORS, YOU KNOW N A WAY.

I'M AN ACKER IN MY OWN WAY.

YOU'RE AN ACTOR.

>> YEAH.

YEAH.

>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT A BUNCH OF OS CARS FOR YOUR WORK.

>> THANK YOU (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: AND I'VE GOT A BUNCH OF EMMYS FOR MY WORK.

>> BRAFO.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: THEY'RE BASICALLY, BASICALLY THE SAME THING.

>> NO, THEY ARE NOT, SIR.

THEY ARE NOT.

>> Stephen: THEY ARE THE SAME.

>> THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO, MY FRIEND,

YEAH, YEAH, HUGE DIFFERENCE.

>> Stephen: THE POINT IS YOU HAVE TWO OS CARS, SO BETWEEN THE

TWO OF US THAT AVERAGES OUT TO ONE OSCAR A PIECE.

AND IT IS RARE THAT TWO ACTORS OF OUR CALIBER, YOU KNOW, ARE

TOGETHER LIKE THIS.

I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE A ZEN RIGHT NOW JUST FOR THE ASPIRING

ACTORS OUT THERE WATCHING THIS, WE COULD OFFER ACTING TIPS TO

HELP THEM GET UP TO OUR LEVEL.

>> GREAT IDEA.

LET'S HELP THE KIDS.

>> Stephen: GREAT.

>> JUST TO BE CLEAR, WE'RE ON THE SAME LEVEL?

>> Stephen: YOU SAID IT, TOM.

(APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: GREAT.

>> IT WAS A QUESTION.

>> Stephen: SO ALL YOU AMATEUR ACTORS, LISTEN UP, BECAUSE IT'S

TIME FOR ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, ACT, WITH TOM HANKS AND STEPHEN

KOL BELTER-- COLBERT.

FIRST TIP.

CRYING SCENES ARE TOUGH, PERSONALLY ONIONS MAKE ME CRY,

SO WHEN I HAVE TO CRY, I THINK OF A DEAD ONION.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE INHABITING A CHARACTER,

JUST ASK IMPORTANT CHARACTER QUESTIONS LIKE WHAT'S MY

CHARACTER'S NAME.

WHAT IS THE MOVIE ABOUT.

AND IS MY CHARACTER IN IT?

(LAUGHTER) >> TO KEEP YOUR EYES FROM

SHIFTING AROUND, FOCUS ON JUST ONE OBJECT.

UNLESS YOUR CHARACTER NEEDS TO LOOK SHIFTY.

IN WHICH CASE MAKE SURE THAT ONE OBJECT, A FLY.

>> Stephen: NEVER WORK WITH CHILDREN OR ANIMALS.

ONE EXCEPTION, BABY WEREWOLVES.

BOX OFFICE GOLD.

(LAUGHTER) >> NEVER READ BAD REVIEWS.

INSTEAD, KIDNAP THE CRITIC AT GUNPOINT.

(LAUGHTER) I FIND THEY'RE MUCH LESS LIKELY

TO TELL YOU YOU SUCK AT GUNPOINT.

(APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: ALL THE BEST ACTORS KNOW THAT EMOTIONS LIVE

IN THE ARMS.

IF YOU ARE SCARED, FLAIL YOUR ARMS AROUND IN TERROR.

IF YOU ARE SAD, FLAIL YOUR ARMS AROUND SADLY.

(LAUGHTER) >> IF YOU ARE DOING A LOVE

SCENE, MAKE SURE THE DIRECTER AND THE CAMERAS ARE THERE.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OTHERWISE YOU'RE JUST HAVING SEX.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: THAT'S A ROOKIE MISTAKE.

>> AMATEURS, YEAH.

>> THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ACTING IS LISTENING.

SO ALWAYS ACT LIKE YOU'RE LISTENING.

TILT YOUR HEAD AND SAY THINGS LIKE HMMMM, YES, I UNDERSTAND

BECAUSE I'M LISTENING TO YOU.

>> SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORDS.

AND HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

YOU GET A DOG AND YOU NAME THE DOG LINE.

THEN YOU SHAVE THE WORDS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY IN TO THE SIDE

OF THE DOG THAT THE CAMERA CANNOT SEE.

THEN IF YOU FORGET WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SAY, CALL LINE.

HE RUNS UP TO YOU, AND YOU CAN READ IT RIGHT OFF THE SIDE OF

YOUR DOG.

I LEARNED THAT ONE FROM MARLON BRANDO.

HE TOLL ME.

>> Stephen: WELL, TOM, THANKS SO MUCH.

THAT WAS REALLY-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> YEAH?

>> Stephen: LINE?

(LAUGHTER) GREAT ADVICE.

>> WELL, THANK YOU-- THANK YOU-- LINE.

STEPHEN, IT'S BEEN GREAT.

A.

>> Stephen: A HOLOGRAM FOR THE KING IS IN THEATERS TOMORROW.

TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK