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  • BUT I THOUGHT...

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • BUT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S

  • SPRING, THE FIRST FULL DAY OF

  • SPRING, AND MARTHA STEWART HAS

  • ALREADY GOT AN ANKLE BRACELET

  • TAN LINE.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • VERY NICE.

  • YOU KNOW MARTHA STEWART IS

  • UNDER HOUSE ARREST.

  • AND THERE'S A 24-HOUR

  • SURVEILLANCE TEAM MONITORING

  • MARTHA'S WHERE ABOUTS.

  • NOTHING YET ON AL QAEDA.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • BUT WE GOT MARTHA RIGHT WHERE

  • WE WANT HER.

  • HOW MANY OF YOU FOLKS HEARD

  • THE CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS ON

  • STEROIDS?

  • ONE CONGRESSMAN SAID THAT

  • BASEBALL CANNOT BE TRUSTED,

  • AND I WAS THINKING, WELL, NO,

  • NOT LIKE YOU CAN TRUST

  • CONGRESS.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • OF COURSE NOT.

  • WELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

  • IT'S MARCH MADNESS.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • AND LOTS OF UPSETS.

  • ROBERT BLAKE NOW ADVANCES TO

  • FACE THE SCOTT PETERSON JURY.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • SEE HOW THAT GOES.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • THE L.A. JURY POOL IS BUSY,

  • NOW IT'S ON TO ACQUITTING PHIL

  • SPECTER.

  • AND CBS IS, THIS IS EXCITING

  • NEWS, CUBA IS ALREADY PLANNING

  • A NEW REALITY SHOW.

  • WHO WANTS TO MARRY ROBBER

  • BLAKE?

  • PAUL, PABLO, SHAFFER!

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME

  • TO THE PROGRAM.

  • BEFORE WE START I JUST WANT TO

  • MENTION A COUPLE OF THINGS.

  • THIS WON'T TAKE TOO LONG.

  • LAST WEEK MY FAMILY AND I WERE

  • INVOLVED IN A LITTLE LEGAL

  • ACTIVITY.

  • AND FORTUNATELY EVERYTHING

  • TURNED OUT FINE, BUT I WANT TO

  • JUST TAKE A SECOND HERE TO

  • THANK SOME PEOPLE.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • THE LEGAL INVESTIGATION,

  • CRIMINAL ACTIVITY, I WANT TO

  • THANK F.B.I. SPECIAL AGENT JIM

  • WILSON, F.B.I. SPECIAL AGENT

  • AARON VAN HOFF, TEE ON THE

  • COUNTY SHERIFF ANDERSON,

  • ATTORNEY JOE KOBEL AND THE

  • GREAT PEOPLE OF CHOTEAO,

  • MONTANA, THEY HAVE ALWAYS MADE

  • ME AND MY FAMILY ENTIRELY

  • WELCOME AND AS THOUGH IT WERE

  • HOME AND THAT'S HOW WE THINK

  • OF IT.

  • AND THERE WE GO.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • LET ME TELL YOU WHO'S ON THE

  • PROGRAM TONIGHT, LADIES AND

  • GENTLEMEN.

  • OH.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING

  • ABOUT?

  • THE LOVELY SANDRA BULLOCK.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • SHE HASN'T BEEN HERE IN A

  • WHILE.

  • SHE IS IN A NEW MOTION PICTURE

  • CALLED MISS CONGENIALITY 2,

  • ARMED AND FABULOUS.

  • >> Paul: YES SHE IS

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: IT OPENS THURSDAY.

  • AND OH MY GOD TONIGHT, LADY

  • AND JAED, ANOTHER WAY TO

  • DESCRIBE TONIGHT'S SHOW, BABE

  • CITY.

  • AM I RIGHT?

  • GWEN STEFANI.

  • >> Paul: YES INDEED.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • WHAT A SONG.

  • THERE IT IS.

  • >> Dave: THAT'S THE BIG SHOW

  • FOR TONIGHT.

  • AND BECAUSE IT IS MARCH

  • MADNESS, IRWANT TO JUST TELL

  • YOU ONE THING.

  • I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL BUT

  • WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK, BUT I

  • CAN'T.

  • >> Paul: YOU CAN'T.

  • >> Dave: JUST TAKE IT FROM ME,

  • AND GOD FORBID, I DON'T WANT

  • TO ELABORATE ON THIS, BECAUSE

  • WE NEED KNOW PEOPLE IN THIS

  • WORLD HAVE MUCH MUCH MUCH

  • WORSE DIFFICULTY THAN I EVER

  • WILL IN MY LIFE, THANK GOD.

  • BUT THIS STUFF IS FASCINATING.

  • THESE F.B.I. GUYS, THEY KNOW

  • EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

  • >> Paul: THEY DO, EH?

  • >> Dave: YEAH.

  • >> Paul: GOOD TO HEAR IT.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: AND THE TETON COUNTY

  • SHERIFF, WHAT A GUY THIS IS,

  • TREMENDOUS.

  • THIS IS LIKE THE REAL DEAL.

  • AND YOU NEVER SEE WHAT THESE

  • PEOPLE DO BECAUSE THEY'RE

  • ALWAYS, YOU KNOW, HIDING AND

  • SPEAKING AROUND.

  • THEY'RE UNDERCOVER, OR EATING

  • DONUTS, THAT'S WHAT WE THINK.

  • THAT'S WHAT WE THINK.

  • BUT WHEN YOU SEE WHAT THEY

  • ACTUALLY DO, IT'S TREMENDOUS.

  • AND THEY'RE COMPLETELY SERIOUS

  • AND DEADLY EARNEST, AND YOU

  • DON'T WANT TO CROSS THEM,

  • DON'T EVEN POKE 'EM.

  • >> Paul: NO. DON'T DO THAT,

  • NO.

  • THANK GOD EVERYTHING WORKED

  • OUT OKAY.

  • >> Dave: EVERYTHING IS FINE

  • THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • ANYWAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

  • BECAUSE IT'S MARCH MADNESS, WE

  • HAVE A TRADITION, AND WHEN I

  • SAY TRADITION I MEAN THAT WE

  • DID IT ONCE ABOUT FIVE YEARS

  • AGO.

  • IT'S PAT FARMER AND HE'S UP

  • THERE ON THE ROOF OF THE ED

  • SULLIVAN THEATER BUILDING,

  • TURN ON THE THING.

  • HI, PAT, HOW ARE YOU, NICE TO

  • SEE YOU.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • PAT FARMER, OUR STAGE HAND,

  • PAT FARMER, AND WHAT IT IS,

  • YOU'RE GOING TO DROP THE BALL

  • INTO THE BASKETBALL NET DOWN

  • THERE ON 53rd, STREEL, I ABOUT

  • 60, 70 FEET.

  • >> ABOUT 90, DAVE.

  • >> Dave: FOUR OR FIVE YEARS

  • AGO YOU ACTUALLY DID, I

  • BELIEVE WE HAVE THE VIDEOTAPE

  • OF YOU MAKING THAT SHOT

  • SUCCESSFULLY, AND I THINK IT

  • WAS YOUR SECOND TRY.

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> Dave: THIS IS IN I THINK

  • 2001, SOMETHING LIKE. THAT IN

  • HONOR OF MARCH MADNESS, THERE

  • IT GOES, I GOOD.

  • AND AS I RECALL, YOU WERE

  • INDUCTED INTO THE BASKETBALL

  • HALL OF FAME BECAUSE OF THAT

  • SHOT, IS THAT CORRECT?

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT, DAVE.

  • >> Dave: YOU ATTENDED THE

  • BASKETBALL INDUCTION

  • CEREMONIES AND IF PEOPLE GO UP

  • THERE, WHERE IS IT LOCATED BY

  • THE WAY?

  • >> SPRINGFIELD, MASS.

  • >> Dave: THEY WILL SEE THE PAT

  • FARMER EXHIBIT, CORRECT?

  • >> PRETTY AMAZING.

  • >> Dave: WE THOUGHT AGAINST

  • OUR BETTER JUDGMENT THAT WE

  • WOULD TRY IT AGAIN TONIGHT,

  • AND THERE'S NO CHANCE YOU'LL

  • MAKE IT TONIGHT, THERE'S?

  • >> NO.

  • >> Dave: IS IT JUST ME, OR IS

  • PAT LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE

  • CLINT EASTWOOD.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • ALL RIGHT, PAT, LET ME RUN

  • THIS DOWN FOR YOU.

  • TEMPERATURE OUT THERE, A

  • COMFORTABLE 48 DEGREES,

  • HUMIDITY 58%.

  • BAR METRIC PRESSURE STEADY,

  • WIND FROM THE NORTHWEST AT 8

  • MILES PER HOUR, VISIBILITY

  • VIRT WELL UNLIMITED.

  • SUNRISE CAME UP AT 5:48 THIS

  • MORNING, SUBJECT SET 6:09,

  • HIGH TIDE 5:51, LOW TIDE 7:42,

  • MOON NEARLY FULL, SO THERE YOU

  • GO, THERE ARE YOUR WEATHER

  • CONDITIONS.

  • YOU WANT TO TAKE A SHOT NOW

  • PAT?

  • >> SURE.

  • >> Dave: HERE WE GO, 90 FEET,

  • PAT FARMER TRYING TO DUPLICATE

  • SOMETHING ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE.

  • THERE IT IS, THERE'S SHOT

  • NUMBER ONE.

  • WOW, RIGHT THROUGH?

  • CONGRATULATIONS.

  • >> Paul: REALLY, DID HE MAKE

  • IT?

  • >> Dave: NO, NO.

  • ALL RIGHT, TRY IT AGAIN, PAT.

  • SO ALREADY WE'RE INTO NEW

  • TERRITORY, BECAUSE LAST YEAR

  • BY NOW YOU WERE PACKING AND

  • YOU DRIVING HOME.

  • >> THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> Dave: I THINK YOU'RE TRYING

  • TOO HARD.

  • >> I'LL TRY TO CUT DOWN ON

  • THAT.

  • >> Dave: TAKE SOME DEEP

  • BREATHS NOW, COUPLE OF DEEP

  • KNEE BENDS, LOOSEN UP.

  • OKAY, GIVE IT A SHOT.

  • PAT FARMER, LADY AND GENTLEMEN,

  • OUR SALUTE TO MARCH MADNESS.

  • HE SHOOTS... OH!

  • WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A

  • COUPLE OF SECOND TO CATCH YOUR

  • BREATH AND GET SOME GATORADE

  • AND RELAX, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT

  • BACK.

  • THIS IS VER

  • FARMER.

  • WE'RE NOT DONE, IF YOU THINK

  • WE'RE DONE YOU'RE NUTS.

  • SO, I ASKED ONE OF THESE

  • F.B.I. GUYS...

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • SEE, I'M NOTHING IF NOT

  • CURIOUS, I GOT A MILLION

  • QUESTIONS, AND I SAY WHAT ARE

  • YOU, YOU KNOW RUBBER HOSE A

  • GUY LIKE THIS?

  • >> Paul: YOU SAID THAT?

  • >> Dave: YES, BECAUSE I WANT

  • TO KNOW ABOUT INTERROGATION

  • TECHNIQUES, BECAUSE WE HAVE

  • STAFF PROBLEMS HERE.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> Paul: I TRY MY BEST.

  • >> Dave: NO, I'M NOT POINTING

  • FINGERS.

  • I THOUGHT WELL MAYBE I CAN

  • PICK UP SOME TIPS FROM THE

  • F.B.I., AND I HOPE I'M NOT

  • REVEALING SECRETS, BUT HE SAYS

  • YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO, WE TRY

  • AND WAKE THEM UP, AND WE FEED

  • THEM BALONEY SANDWICHES.

  • >> Paul: AND THAT BRINGS OUT

  • LPDS THAT GETS A CONFESSION?

  • >> Dave: VERY EFFECTIVE.

  • SOMETHING ABOUT THE SODIUM IN

  • THE BALONEY.

  • >> Paul: I SEE.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> Dave: BOY, THEY HAD THE BIG

  • BASEBALL STEROID HEARINGS IN

  • WASHINGTON, OUR NATION'S

  • CAPITAL.

  • DID YOU SEE THIS?

  • OH, MY GOD, IT COULDN'T HAVE

  • GONE WORSE, TROUBLE REALLY

  • BROKE OUT, IT WAS LIKE THE

  • SECOND DAY OF THE HEARINGS.

  • WATCH WHAT HAPPENED.

  • >> IF HE DOESN'T CLEAN UP ITS

  • OWN ACT, ARE YOU IN FAVOR OF

  • FEDERAL LEGISLATION?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: YOU SEE THAT?

  • >> Paul: I MISSED THAT.

  • >> Dave: HEY FRGS PAT, ARE YOU

  • STILL OUT THERE?

  • WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN?

  • WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING

  • WRONG?

  • >> I THINK THE PROBLEM IS THE

  • HEIGHT, DAVE.

  • >> Dave: THIS IS CERTAINLY

  • PLAYING HELL WITH YOUR

  • PERCENTAGE, ISN'T IT?

  • >> YES.

  • >> Dave: ALL RIGHT.

  • JUST TRY ANOTHER ONE.

  • I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT

  • YOU WORK ON. THAT NOW IT'S

  • TIME FOR A SEGMENT CALLED

  • GEORGE W. BUSH TALKS DIRTY.

  • GEORGE W. BUSH TALKS DIRTY.

  • TAKE A LOOK.

  • >> I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE QUITE

  • SO LONG.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> Dave: WHAT EXACTLY IS HE

  • TALKING ABOUT?

  • THE OTHER THING I DON'T THINK

  • I'LL EVER GET TIRED OF SEEING

  • MY HOUSE ON TELEVISION WHILE

  • I'M IN MY HOUSE WATCHING

  • TELEVISION.

  • YOU CAN'T BEE THAT, BOY.

  • PAT, WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU

  • WANT TO TRY ONE, BECAUSE WE

  • REALLY NEED A BIG PAYOFF HERE,

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

  • >> I JUST HAD THE GATORADE

  • DAVE, I'M GOOD.

  • >> Dave: I DON'T THINK YOU'RE

  • TRYING.

  • DO YOU CARE, DO YOU REALLY

  • CARE, PAT?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Dave: THAT LOOKED LIKE IT

  • ALMOST CAME BACK UP THROUGH,

  • IS THAT RIGHT?

  • >> THAT WAS CLOSE ENOUGH.

  • >> Dave:, NO IT'S NOT CLOSE

  • ENOUGH, WE'RE NOT NEARLY

  • FINISHED, COME ON, IT'S NOT

  • IMPOSSIBLE.

  • STATISTICLY IT'S NOT

  • IMPOSSIBLE.

  • ALL RIGHT, TRY IT AGAIN.?

  • >> I THINK I NEED THEM MAYBE.

  • >> Dave: I THINK. SO BEFORE

  • THE PROGRAM OUR ANNOUNCER ALAN

  • KALTER CAME TO ME AND SAID HE

  • HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL THAT

  • HE'S PREPARED FOR US TONIGHT

  • AND IF WE HAVE A COUPLE OF

  • MINUTES, AND WE CERTAINLY DO,

  • HE'D LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH US

  • TONIGHT.

  • ALAN, GO AHEAD.

  • >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, DAVE.

  • I'M PLEASED TO DEBUT A NEW

  • SEGMENT ENTITLED ARE YOU

  • ( BLEEP )

  • KIDDING ME.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • BE THE'S SEGMENT IS TORN

  • STRAIGHT FROM THE HEADLINES.

  • TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CLIP.

  • >> PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF

  • CALIFORNIA VERSUS ROBERT BLAKE,

  • WE THE JURY IN THE ABOVE

  • ENTITLED ACTION FIND THE

  • DEFENDANT ROBERT BLAKE NOT

  • GUILTY OF THE CRIME OF FIRST

  • DEGREE MURDER OF BONNIE LEE

  • BAKE LIST.

  • >> ARE YOU

  • ( BLEEP )

  • KIDDING ME!

  • BACK TO YOU, DAVE.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: THANKS, ALAN.

  • GOOD WORK.P SOON AS

  • WE GO.

  • HOW MANY BALLS DO WE HAVE?

  • >> OH, ABOUT TEN MORE.

  • WE'RE GOING TO NEED THEM.

  • >> Dave: THINK YOU COULD TOSS

  • ONE ONTO THE ROOF OF ROSELAND

  • OVER THERE.

  • >> SURE.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: WOW.

  • LOOK AT THOSE PEOPLE DOWN

  • THERE, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A

  • BUNCH OF NAVY SEALS ON THE

  • STREET.

  • IS SOMETHING GOING DOWN?

  • >> THEY SEEM TO BE AMUSED BY

  • THIS.

  • >> Dave: GIVE IT A SHOT THERE

  • AT THE BASKET AGAIN.

  • >> LITTLE TO THE RIGHT.

  • >> Dave: WE ASK THE GUY TO DO

  • ONE SIMPLE THING!

  • THE LOVELY SANDRA BULLOCK,

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • GEE, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

  • HOW ABOUT THAT?

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> I'M REALLY GOOD.

  • HOW ARE YOU, BETTER NOW?

  • >> Dave: I'M FINE.

  • LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

  • SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU HAVEN'T

  • BEEN HERE IN QUITE SOME TIME,

  • PROBABLY ABOUT TWO YEARS.

  • >> YEAH, YOU'RE CORRECT.

  • AM I BEING INTERROGATED?

  • SANDWICHES ARE COMING OUT.

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • SORRY.

  • I KNEW YOU HAD THE WHOLE THING

  • SET UP.

  • OKAY, CONTINUE.

  • >> Dave: I KNEW YOU HAVEN'T

  • LEFT SHOW BUSINESS, I KNEW YOU

  • WERE STILL IN SHOW BUSINESS,

  • BUT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN MOVIES,

  • AND --

  • >> I WASN'T SURE IF I WAS LIKE

  • NOT DONE.

  • >> Dave: YOU KNEW YOU WERE

  • GOING TO MAKE MOVIE?

  • >> KIND OF.

  • YEAH, OKAY.

  • >> Dave: WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN

  • DOING THE LAST COUPLE YEARS?

  • >> I WAS PRODUCING, BUT I TOOK

  • TIME OFF.

  • WE HAVE A TELEVISION SHOW

  • TO RUN A 5 K IN THE

  • SAME PLACE, BUT I WAS IN THIS

  • COURT CASE IN AUSTIN WHICH.

  • >> Dave: IS THIS RELATED TO

  • THE BUILDING ACTIVITIES, YOUR

  • CONSTRUCTION PROBLEMS?

  • >> YES.

  • >> Dave: BRIEF US ON THIS,

  • TAKE US BACK AND TELL US --

  • >>OU WERE ACTUALLY INVOLVED

  • IN IT IN A VERY BIZARRE WAY.

  • >> Dave: I HOPE HELPFULLY.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Dave: BECAUSE I KNOW PEOPLE

  • AT THE F.B.I..

  • I CAN GET A LOT OF STUFF

  • STRAIGHTENED OUT.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> NO, I BUILT THIS HOUSE, AND

  • I'M GOING TO BE VERY CAREFUL

  • IN HOW I SAY THIS.

  • IF ANYONE IS NAY LAWYER IN

  • HERE JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT I

  • SOME SAY AND YOU CAN JUST

  • ERASE IT.

  • I BUILT A HOUSE THAT WASN'T, I

  • WAS NEVER ABLE TO MOVE INTO

  • IT.

  • IT TOOK ABOUT FIVE YEARS TO

  • GET TO THE LEGAL SYSTEM

  • PROCESS.

  • WE WENT THROUGH THE PROCESS.

  • >> Dave: COULD NOT MOVE IN

  • BEE OF SHODDY

  • CONSTRUCTION?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> BUT DURING THE DEPOSITION

  • PROCESS YOU KNOW, YOU PUT ON

  • YOUR LAWYER CLOTHES, WHICH

  • EVERYONE HAS IN THEIR CLOSET

  • OR YOU THINK HAVE YOU IN YOUR

  • CLOSET, SO I'VE GOT WHITE

  • BUTTON DOWNS SKIRT SETS,

  • THINKING I LOOK CUTE.

  • BUT THEY SAID, WELL, WE NEED

  • TO BRING INTO EVIDENCE DAVID

  • LETTERMAN'S SHOW.

  • I WENT WHAT!

  • WE MIGHT HAVE TO DEPOSE DAVID

  • LETTERMAN.

  • THEY GO IF YOU CAN GET DAVE

  • LETTERMAN TO SHOW UP, THAT

  • WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

  • Dave: NO.

  • >> I DIDN'T THINK SO.

  • BUT IT WAS LITTLE ODD.

  • >> Dave: YOU GOT IT ALL

  • SETTLED?

  • >> AS MUCH AS YOU CAN GET IT

  • SETTLED.

  • >> Dave: AND THE PROBLEM WAS

  • THE CONTRACTOR WAS A CROOK AND

  • A THUG?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • HE WAS SWINDLING.

  • IT'S FRAUD, HE MISREPRESENTED

  • EVERYTHING, HE WAS SWINDING

  • MONEY FROM YOU.

  • AM I RIGHT?

  • >> SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME OUT

  • HERE.

  • >> Dave: ANYWAY, THE NIGHTMARE

  • IS NEARLY OVER?

  • >> YES, NEARLY.

  • NEARLY, YES.

  • >> Dave: BOY, YOU LOOK

  • TERRIFIC.

  • >> FEEL GOOD, DAVE, I FEEL

  • GOOD.

  • >> Dave: LET ME ASK YOU A

  • COUPLE OTHER QUESTIONS.

  • IT'S COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT

  • YOU ARE SPENDING TIME WITH A

  • FELLOW THAT I ADMIRE A GREAT

  • DEAL, HE'S ON TELEVISION, HAS

  • HIS OWN SHOW, MONSTER GARAGE,

  • JESSE JAMES.

  • IS THAT ANY TRUTH TO THAT?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • I LIKE THIS GUY, YOU KNOW WHY

  • I LIKE THIS GUY?

  • HE'S AN OUTLAW.

  • REALLY.

  • >> Dave: YEAH.

  • HE'S LIVING ON THE EDGE.

  • THIS IS A GUY WHO GETS IT ALL

  • DONE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING,

  • NO LEAVING ANYTHING AT TABLE.

  • >> LAUNDRY, ALL DONE, DISHES,

  • DONE.

  • THAT'S AWESOME.

  • >> Dave: DO YOU SPEND TIME

  • WITH THE GUY?

  • >> REALLY?

  • >> Dave: DO YOU?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • HOW DID YOU MEET, IF YOU DID

  • MEET.

  • >> MEET WHOOM.

  • >> Dave: JESSE JAMES, HOW DID

  • YOU MEETS FPL IF YOU MET HIM?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • IF YOU DIDN'T MEET HIM, DON'T

  • TELL ME.

  • >> UM... YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'D

  • LOVE TO TELL YOU THINGS?

  • ON AIR ESPECIALLY?

  • >> Dave: YES, YES.

  • >> AND I LOVE BEING A SPORT IF

  • POSSIBLE, IF IT'S HUMOROUS

  • I'LL DO THAT, ME LOOKING

  • UNCOMFORTABLE IS FUNNY, I'LL

  • DO THAT.

  • SO AT THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW IS

  • HELPING THE SHOW IN ANY WAY...

  • I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: BUT LET'S JUST, LET'S

  • JUST FOR THE SAKE OF THIS

  • COUPLE NEXT MINUTES SAY THAT

  • YOU DON'T KNOW HIM.

  • >> OKAY.

  • >> Dave: AND WE'LL JUST TALK

  • ABOUT HIM.

  • >> OKAY.

  • >> Dave: FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S

  • HIS PICTURE RIGHT THERE.

  • LOOK AT THIS GUY.

  • THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, I MEAN

  • THIS IS...

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • I'M TELLING YOU SOMETHING, IF

  • I LOOKED LIKE THIS, NOBODY,

  • NOBODY WOULD BE BOTHERING ME

  • ABOUT ANYTHING.

  • >> YEAH.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • YOU DON'T NEED THE F.B.I. WHEN

  • YOU HAVE THAT.

  • >> Dave: THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN

  • NO INVESTIGATION IF I LOOKED

  • LIKE THIS.

  • AND HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT

  • MOTORCYCLES AND KNOWS HOW TO

  • BUILD STUFF AND HE'S A STAND

  • YUF GUY, HE'S BEEN ON THE SHOW,

  • HE HAD SOME KIND A THING OUT

  • THERE HE WAS DRIVING AROUND

  • IN.

  • >> BASKETBALLS?

  • >> Dave: NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT

  • IT WAS.

  • AND HIS NAME IS JESSE JAMES

  • AND THAT'S COOL, EVERYTHING

  • COOL ABOUT THIS GUY.

  • I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULDN'T

  • WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

  • LET'S TRY IT THIS WAY.

  • DO YOU RIDE MOTORCYCLES?

  • >> I HAVE RIDDEN ON THE BACK

  • OF ONE, I HAVE A DIRT BIKE.

  • YOU KNOW.

  • I HAVE TO MAKE THE NOISE WHEN

  • I RIDE IT TOO.

  • >> Dave: IT DOESN'T MAKE THE

  • NOISE ON ITS OWN?

  • >> IT DOES, BUT ODDLY MY VOICE

  • HELPS ACCELERATE.

  • AND I'M OUT THERE...

  • >> Dave: WHEN YOU RIDE ON THE

  • BACK OF A REGULAR MOTORCYCLE,

  • WHO'S DRIVING?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • ANYTHING THERE?

  • >> WELL, I'M A VERY SAFE, SAFE

  • ORIENTED PERSON, SO WHO EVER

  • THE DRIVER IS I WOULD HOPE HAD

  • MUCH EXPERIENCE ON THE ROAD,

  • USES THEIR TRAFFIC SIGNALS

  • LIKE THIS WHEN THEY TURN.

  • >> Dave: A SOLD I CITIZEN.

  • >> WEARS THE FULL GEAR,

  • DOESN'T GO WITHOUT HELMETS,

  • YOU KNOW.

  • YOU KNOW, A SAFE DRIVER FOR

  • THE BIKE.

  • >> Dave: ALL RIGHT.

  • WE'LL LET THAT GO.

  • BUT I JUST HOPE IT IS

  • HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE THE

  • IDEA OF THIS.

  • >> DO YOU?

  • >> Dave: BOTH SIDES OF THIS I

  • FIND EXCITING.

  • >> Dave: UNDERCOVER IN THE OLD

  • AGE HOME.

  • >> YES, THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF

  • GOING DOWN IN OLD AGE HOMES.

  • >> Dave: A GUY LIKE ME, A

  • REGULAR GUY IN A SUIT, VERY NO

  • APPEAL FOR YOU WHAT SO EVER.

  • IT'S GOT TO BE THIS, IS THAT

  • RIGHT?

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • I COULD BE WORKING AT CENTURY

  • 21, NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!

  • >> I'M SURE THIS GENTLEMAN

  • OWNS A SUIT.

  • >> Dave: PROBABLY DOES.

  • >> I'M SURE SDHE, AND A NICE

  • ONE.

  • SUCH AS YOURS, MAYBE THE

  • SLEEVES EVEN.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE

  • SOMETHING.

  • OUR NEXT GUEST IS A GRAMMY

  • AWARD WINNING SINGER WHOSE

  • DEBUT SOLO CD SOLD OVER 3

  • MILLION COPIES.

  • IT'S CALLED LOVE, ANGEL, MUSIC

  • BABY.

  • PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE

  • PROGRAM, GWEN STEFANI.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • ♪♪

  • >> ♪ UH-HUH

  • THIS IS MY

  • ALL THE GIRLS STOMP YOUR FEET

  • LIKE THIS

  • ♪ A FEW TIMES I'VE BEEN

  • AROUND THAT TRACK

  • ♪♪ SO IT'S NOT JUST GOING TO

  • HAPPEN LIKE THAT

  • BECAUSE I AIN'T NO

  • HOLLABACK GIRL

  • ♪ A FEW TIMES I'VE BEEN

  • AROUND THAT TRACK

  • SO IT'S NOT JUST GOING TO

  • HAPPEN LIKE THAT

  • BECAUSE I AIN'T NO

  • HOLLABACK GIRL

  • ♪ I AIN'T NO HOLLABACK GIRL

  • OOH OOH

  • THIS IS MY

  • THIS MY

  • OOH OOH

  • THIS IS MY [NO AUDIO]

  • THIS MY

  • I HEARD THAT YOU WERE TALKING

  • AND YOU DIDN'T THINK

  • THAT I WOULD HEAR IT

  • PEOPLE HEAR YOU

  • TALKING LIKE THAT

  • GETTING EVERYBODY FIRED UP

  • SO I'M READY TO ATTACK

  • GONNA TAKE YOU OUT

  • THAT'S RIGHT

  • PUT YOUR POMPOMS DOWN

  • GETTING EVERYBODY FIRED UP

  • ♪ A FEW TIMES I'VE BEEN

  • AROUND THAT TRACK

  • SO IT'S NOT JUST GOING TO

  • HAPPEN LIKE THAT

  • BECAUSE I AIN'T NO

  • HOLLABACK GIRL

  • STEFANI, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

  • LOVE AIPG GEL MUSIC BABY.

  • THIS IS GOING VERY WELL FOR

  • YOU.

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT, IT IS LIKE

  • MAGIC, I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN

  • WITNESS.

  • I'VE NEVER BEEN IN THE CHAIR

  • BEFORE.

  • THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN THE

  • CHAIR.

  • >> Dave: SINCE YOU WERE HERE

  • BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED, IS

  • THAT CORRECT?

  • >> I'VE BEEN MARRIED ALMOST,

  • TWEL, TWO AND A HALF YEARS,

  • SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

  • >> Dave: HOW IS THAT GOING,

  • ARE YOU STILL A NEWLYWED.

  • >> I'M STILL LOVING IT.

  • HE'S HOT, YOU KNOW.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: WHAT CAN YOU TELL US

  • ABOUT THIS GUY, BECAUSE, YOU

  • KNOW, SANDRA BULLOCK WOULDN'T

  • TELL US ANYTHING ABOUT...

  • >> OH, SHE WOULDN'T TELL YOU

  • ANYTHING, OH, SECRETS.

  • >> Dave: CAN YOU MENTION HIS

  • NAME?

  • >> HIS NAME IS GAVIN ROSTELL,

  • HE'S A SINGER,, HE'S BEEN IN A

  • MOVIE CALL CONSTANTINE.

  • I'M LIKE PROMOTING HIM, BUT HE

  • JUST GOT A NEW MOVIE THE OTHER

  • DAY, SO WE'RE LIKE ALL YEA!

  • >> Dave: AND IN TERMS OF

  • MUSICAL ABILITY, WHO IS

  • STRONGER?

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT, IT ALMOST,

  • WE'RE SUCH DIFFERENT MUSE DAHL

  • GENRES, AND NOW IT'S CRAZIER

  • BECAUSE I'M GOING IN THIS

  • DANCE RECORD.

  • >> Dave: NO COMPETITION.

  • >> NO.

  • >> Dave: GENTLEMEN, YOU LOOK

  • TREMENDOUS.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Dave: I NOTICED YOU HAD

  • KIDS IN THE MARCHING BAND, ARE

  • THOSE ACTUAL MARCHING BAND

  • KIDS OR JUST GOONS YOU PUT IN

  • MARCHING BAND --

  • >> THEY ARE ACTUAL MARCHING

  • BAND, I THINK THEY'RE COLLEGE

  • KIDS.

  • >> Dave: YOU WERE PROBABLY

  • NEVER IN A MARCHING BAND.

  • >> YES, I WAS.

  • I FAKED AND IT I PLAYED PICOLO

  • FAKELY, IT WAS...

  • >> Dave: BUT SEEMS TO ME LIKE

  • IF A HIGH ENOUGH PERCENTAGE OF

  • PEOPLE IN THE BAND ARE FAKING

  • IT, THEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING

  • GOING ON AT ALL.

  • >> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HEAR IT

  • ANYWAY, I SPEND MOST OF THE

  • TIME IN THE DRUM ROOM MAKING

  • OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND.

  • >> Dave: WHOA!

  • LOOK OUT.

  • BUT IT'S EXCITING, TO SEE THEM

  • DMOM AND WE WERE ABLE TO USE

  • THEM.

  • >> THE SONG IS, WROI THE SONG

  • WITH, FROM THE NEPTUNES, AND

  • IT WAS THE LAST SONG, I DIDN'T

  • WRITE MY HISTORY DON'T MESS

  • AROUND WITH ME SONG, AND HE

  • JUST CAME UP WITH THE SPEED

  • AND I WAS LIKE NO WAY.

  • IT WAS A MAGICAL MOMENT.

  • SO I'M EXCITED THAT IT'S A

  • SINGLE AND THAT IT'S FINALLY

  • COMING OUT.

  • >> Dave: YOU SMELL GREAT TOO.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • >> Dave: AND YOU'RE ALSO

  • DESIGNING CLOTHES, DID YOU

  • DESIGN SOMETHING OF WHAT

  • YOU'RE WEARING HERE?

  • >> THIS IS ACTUALLY VINTAGE.

  • BUT I DO HAVE A CLOTHING LINE.

  • >> Dave: THIS IS, YOU KNOW,

  • THIS IS ABOUT ALL YOU WANT.

  • EASY.

  • >> I'M LIKE, AM I GOING TO

  • REALLY WEAR SHORTS ON THE

  • CHAIR LIKE IN THE THING, BUT

  • HERE I AM.

  • >> Dave: WHAT KIND OF THINGS

  • WOULD YOU DESIGN, DO YOU

  • DESIGN?

  • >> WELL, I HAVE A CLOTHING

  • LINE CALLED LAMB, AND IT

  • STANDS FOR LOVE ANGEL MUSIC

  • BABY, AND I'VE DOING IT FOR

  • ABOUT TWO AND A HALF YEARS AND

  • I'M WORKING ON MY FIFTH

  • COLLECTION, GOING TO DO THE

  • FIRST NEW YORK FASHION SHOW

  • COMING UP.

  • >> Dave: SO THIS IS BIG TIME

  • STUFF THEN?

  • >> IT'S REALLY EXCITING.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • THANK YOU, WOW, THANKS.

  • IT'S LIKE, I THINK, MUSIC FOR

  • ME IS MY FIRE, LIKE IT KIND OF

  • IS THE FUEL.

  • BUT DESIGNING FOR ME IS JUST

  • ANOTHER, I DON'T KNOW,

  • CREATIVE WAY TO EXPRESS

  • MYSELF.

  • >> Dave: YOU KNOW, PAUL,

  • MUSICAL GENIUS AND ALSO FOR A

  • WHILE HAD HIS OWN BAG LINE.

  • >> Paul: HI A BAG LINE, YEAH,

  • WE WERE DOING SO WELL, WE WERE

  • THE HOTTEST SELLER.

  • BUT I HAD A PARTNER WHO WAS

  • STEALING ME BLIND, I HAD TO

  • FORGET THE WHOLE THING.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • AND WE WERE RED CARPET, I WAS

  • GOING TO CALL IT RED CARPET

  • READY.

  • EVERYBODY IS OBSESSED WITH THE

  • RED CARPET.

  • THESE BAGS WERE RED CARPET

  • READY AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN

  • ECORD,.HERE WITH NEW THE SHOW.

  • BUT WE'RE FLIRTING ABOUT IT.

  • NOW IT'S LIKE GETTING EXCITING

  • AGAIN TO DO ANOTHER RECORD.

  • >> Dave: YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS

  • LEGS.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • THANK YOU.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • GREAT LEGS, THAT'S FUNNY.

  • >> Dave: SO IT'S LOVE ANGEL

  • MUSIC BABY.

  • THERE IT IS.

  • THREE MILLION COPIES ALREADY

  • SOLD, IT A MONSTER.

  • >> THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT.

  • >> Dave: ALWAYS A PLEASURE,

  • THANK YOU VERY MHANKS TO SANDRA,

  • SHE HAS A PRAND NEW MOVIE

  • OPENING UP FRIDAY CALLED ARMED

  • AND DANGEROUS, BABES AND

  • FABULOUS AND WHATEVER ELSE.

  • >> Paul: I'LL BE THERE.

  • >> Dave: AND GWEN STEFANI, AND

  • I DON'T WANT TO PAIN THIS WITH

  • TOO FINE A BRUSH, BUT I FEEL

  • LIKE IT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO

  • TELL PEOPLE OUT THERE WHAT'S

  • GOING ON.

  • SHE HAS TREMENDOUS LEGS.

  • TREMENDOUS.

  • ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> Paul: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO

  • TELL US, WE WERE ALL OVER HER.

  • >> Dave: THERE'S NOTHING IN IT

  • FOR ME, I JUST HAVE TO LET

  • PEOPLE KNOW.

  • >> Paul: WE KNOW.

  • >> Dave: TOMORROW ON THE

  • PROGRAM, JESSICA ALVA WILL BE

  • HERE,.

  • BRIAN GREEN, HE'S WRITTEN A

  • BOOK ABOUT THE FABRIC OF THE

  • COSMOS, THAT WILL BE A LOT OF

  • LAUGHS.

  • ( LAUGHTER )

  • AND QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE.

  • NOW LET'S GO BACK UP TO THE

  • RAF OF THE ED SULLIVAN

  • THEATER.

  • THIS IS IT, PAT.

  • HAVE YOU ADJUSTED YOUR SHOT?

  • >> YES.

  • I THINK RAPID FIRE MAYBE I

  • THINK I NEED.

  • >> Dave: I'M BEGGING YOU,

  • PLEASE, WE NEED SOMETHING HERE

  • ON VIDEOTAPE.

  • WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

  • >> ALL RIGHT.

  • >> Dave: THERE IT IS, THAT'S

  • IT, OH!

  • MAN, YOU SHOULD JUST RETIRE

  • AND SPEND THE REST OF YOUR

  • LIFE COACHING KIDS.

  • PAT FARMER, LADIES AND

BUT I THOUGHT...

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大衛-萊特曼的晚間秀--桑德拉-布洛克和格溫-斯蒂芬尼。 (Late Show with David Letterman -Sandra Bullock and Gwen Stefani)

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